Chapter Nineteen

Carson

 

I sat in the holding cell for almost five hours before Arnold showed up. By the time the cop came to let me out of the pen, the bleeding had stopped, but I felt stiff and sore and painful everywhere. I didn’t have a watch or my phone on me, but it seemed like it had to be after midnight. Fuck, I thought, remembering that I’d had dinner plans with Caroline. But there was nothing I could do about it now; my one phone call had to be to the club’s lawyer, and if I was lucky, maybe he could post my bail, and I’d be out of here in an hour or two.

 

The cop who released me from the cell was the same one who had driven me to the station. In the nasty fluorescent lighting of the station, he had dark circles under his eyes, and I could see his face was getting doughy with middle age.

 

“Had a chance to think about what you did yet?” He smirked, and I shook my head, keeping my lips shut. I knew that I shouldn’t have mouthed off in the car; that was what had earned me the hours alone without a phone call. But all I wanted to do was get my revenge on this fucker and everyone like him who stood in my way. When I thought about how quickly I could end his life, even in the battered condition I was in, my blood starting to pump freely again.

 

The cop cuffed my hands behind my back and guided me down a dimly lit hallway. It was a place I was very familiar with; every member of the club had been arrested at least once. Most of us twice, or three times. This was my fifth incident in the past couple of years. That number didn’t seem so bad when I thought about everything that had led me to jail, but it didn’t look great, either.

 

Arnold was sitting down at a table with a cup of coffee. Even though it was late, he looked immaculate as always. Devil’s Own had been affiliated with Arnold for years now. He was almost like an old friend. He was someone who we always invited to gatherings and clubhouse parties, not because we were afraid of something going wrong, but because we wanted him to know that we trusted him. In the clubhouse of the Devil’s Own, Arnold had probably seen things that shocked him. But who knew; maybe not. He had an excellent poker face.

 

“Carson,” he said, reaching out for my hand. We shook like men and then I sat down. Arnold was scrutinizing my face and I could tell from his expression that I must have looked pretty bad off.

 

“You checkin’ me out?” I laughed. “Trust me, it probably looks worse than it feels.” As I spoke, my throat went dry, and I coughed. Specks of blood landed on my hand and I balled up my fist and stuck it in my lap so he wouldn’t see. “I can walk out of here just fine,” I said calmly. “You wanna help me with that?”

 

Arnold licked his lips and leaned back in the chair. “Carson, I have to be honest with you,” he said. “This doesn’t look good. Not for you, not for the MC. Right now, they’re looking to pin you down with two charges of assault and one charge of attempted assault, plus a charge of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit.”

 

I narrowed my eyes. “That’s bullshit,” I said. “I didn’t even use my gun, and I do have a permit.”

 

Arnold shook his head. “You have a permit for a legal gun,” he said. “This was a gun with the serial scratched off. That’s different, Carson. That’s a whole new game.”

 

I bit my lip. Most of the guns used by the club had no serial number; it was one of the ways we took precautionary measures. “Fine,” I spat. “So what’s with the assault? Does it count that they attacked me, and I fought back in self-defense?”

 

Arnold let out a long, slow exhale of breath. “That’s different,” he said quietly. “Even though they were on your property, I’m showing in the police report that you swung first.”

 

I shook my head. “That’s not true,” I said. “Those lying bastard cops weren’t even there. They ambushed me, and when I went to check the perimeter of the clubhouse, they all came out in a pack.”

 

Arnold looked at me with his eyes narrowed. “Carson, you paralyzed one of those guys,” he said. “The guy who was left on the ground with you, the Aztec. They’re saying that he won’t ever walk again. Do you realize what this means for you and the club?”

 

Suddenly, I felt like someone was watching me. I turned to the mirrored two-way glass and sneered. “I don’t want those pigs listening, Arnold,” I said quietly. “I can’t give them any more ammo against us right now. Can you get me out of here today?”

 

“Your bail was posted at five hundred thousand,” Arnold said in a calm voice. I stared at him, feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach. “If you’re able to tell me where I can obtain that money, we’ll go from there. I have a retainer from you that makes up almost half, and you’d need the other half by the end of the day.”

 

“Tommy can help me,” I told him gruffly. “Just call him and tell him how much I still owe.”

 

Arnold looked at me. He folded his tanned hands on the table and for a moment I was caught staring at his nails. They were trimmed and manicured, just like a woman’s hands would be. “This is more serious, Carson,” he said quietly. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you’re really going to have to change. The MC is going to have to change, we’re all going to have to work harder here.”

 

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘we’?” I asked, leaning back in my chair and fixing my eyes on him. “I already am working hard. If the cops can’t see that I took those Aztecs out in self-defense, I don’t fucking know what you want me to say.”

 

Arnold didn’t reply. He pressed his lips into a thin line until they were bloodless and white. “This is serious,” he repeated.

 

A chill of fear ran down my spine. “What, what is it?” Arnold didn’t answer. “Fucking tell me, man. Am I paying you or not?”

 

“I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to help the club,” Arnold replied. “My influence isn’t as strong as it used to be around here, don’t you get that? When the cops changed hands, they stopped listening to me, too. I’m in just as much of a hard place as you are, Carson. If you don’t cooperate with the law enforcement, they’re going to do everything they can to destroy you and the rest of Devil’s Own.”

 

“Fine, they can try,” I said in a cocky voice. As I talked, my swollen jaw began to ache and I winced. The bright lights of the police station had given me a headache hours ago but it was just now starting to become truly unbearable. This was happening much, much too fast, and I had no idea how I was going to find my way out.

 

I stared at Arnold. “Well, what do you have to say?”

 

He looked at me and sighed. “I’m sorry for letting you down,” he said. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get you off the hook right away for this. You might go to trial.”

 

I laughed. “I’m not going to prison for assault, Arn. That’s community service and a fine, everyone knows that. I didn’t do anything first degree, and I wasn’t charged for firing my gun.”

 

Arnold shook his head again. “You might be wrong about that,” he said. “Haven’t you thought about how this will look to a judge when stacked with your other convictions, Carson? It’s not going to look good,” he finished.

 

I thought about it. “That’s stupid,” I said slowly. “Those other things have been dealt with. I’ve paid every single fine that I’ve been slapped with. The cops know that we’re clean, for fuck’s sake! And I was beating up a bunch of crank dealers! Who cares? Wouldn’t the cops rather have a fight every now and then instead of a bunch of assholes selling heroin to kids?’

 

Arnold looked at me. “You can say that all you want, Carson, but these cops are tired of having their city ripped up to shreds with violence. I don’t think arguing in favor of the occasional fight is going to do you any favors here.”

 

I snorted. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re telling me that we’re going to get busted for defending our territory? What are we supposed to do if the Aztecs show up again?”

 

“Call the police,” Arnold said, folding his hands in his lap. “Like a normal person would do.”

 

Rage flared through me and I had to suppress the urge to punch him. “Whatever,” I mumbled. “Just tell me how to get out of this.”

 

“You may have to plead guilty to second degree assault,” Arnold said. He laid a sheaf of papers on the desk in front of me and pushed them towards me. “Take a look at these. I’ve drawn up a statement from you, all you have to do is sign it and then we can get you to trial right away.”

 

“But what about bail?”

 

Arnold shrugged. “That’s a lot of money, Carson. Wouldn’t you rather just stay in here for the time being? It may look better to the cops, it may help you look like you don’t have as much to prove.”

 

“That’s retarded,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t believe this. You’re not even going to try to help me? What about the rest of the guys? Won’t Josh and Tommy be pissed?”

 

“They don’t want any trouble either,” Arnold said. “You know Josh wants things to start winding down, you know how much trouble he’s been having keeping you guys in the black lately.”

 

“Because those fucking Aztecs are running on our turf,” I snarled. “Don’t you understand what’s going on? The cops are playing us; they want the glory of catching those crank dealing assholes for themselves! They keep trying to provoke the Devil’s into fighting back, which is unfortunately what I just did. But it’s not gonna be like this in the future, Arnold. Come on. You know things will be different.”

 

Arnold sighed. He looked at me, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. “I want to believe you,” he said slowly. “But times are changing a lot, Carson. You don’t know what you’re dealing with anymore. If you’re not careful, you’re gonna wind up in over your head.”

 

I snorted. “I don’t think I could possibly be in deeper than my head right now,” I said with a short laugh. “My MC and my lawyer don’t even wanna help me.”

 

Arnold frowned. “What do you mean, the MC doesn’t want to help you? Of course they do. They’re your family, Carson.”

 

Suddenly, that black feeling I’d had in the parking lot returned. “Something’s wrong,” I said aloud. “I forgot, but I was heading to the clubhouse for a vote. And when I got there, everything was dark. Tommy, Josh, and Steel weren’t anywhere around. There weren’t any lights on. Those Aztecs had cut a hole in the fence; they were waiting for me. I punched up one of their guys last week outside a bar, and they wanted revenge for him.”

 

“This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about,” Arnold replied. “If you’re not willing to let us help you, you’re going to wind up in deep over your head, Carson.”

 

I shook my head. “Are you saying the guys in the MC set me up?”

 

“No,” Arnold said. “I’m not saying that at all. But I am saying that you have to be open to the legal repercussions here. Just because you guys got your way for years at a time doesn’t mean that’s going to keep happening in the future.”

 

I scowled. “Post my fucking bail,” I growled. “We’ll talk when I’m out of this hell hole.”

 

Arnold stared at me. He tried convincing me otherwise, but I wouldn’t say another word until he had sighed and started to clear away the papers. I hadn’t even read my “statement”—I wanted to rip it up right in front of him, but I resisted the urge.

 

My lids were heavy with sleep with the guard came and dragged me back down the hallway. “You wanna see your friends?” he sneered, pulling me back to the holding cell with the Aztec guys. “They’re eager to see you.”

 

“Fuck you,” I spat. “I have no words to say to those assholes.”

 

The guard unlocked the cell door and slid it to the side. As he pulled me back in and unfastened the handcuffs, the Aztec guys started making yipping noises in the backs of their throats. When the guard had left and locked me in the cell, I sat down on the metal bench and let my head flop against the concrete wall. It hurt, but everything in my body hurt.

 

“Hey, you think this is fun for us?” One of the Aztecs grinned at me. There was dried blood all over his face and his nose was swollen and beginning to bruise purple. I felt satisfaction for having done that to him. “It ain’t fun for us, boy,” he snarled when I didn’t respond. “And we’re going to get you back for that.”

 

I laughed. “Fuck you,” I said, laying down on the bench and putting my hands behind my head. They instantly ached from the perforated metal. There was no way I could have slept on that bench; between the glaring fluorescent lights and the painful metal, I knew I was in for a rough couple of hours.

 

The two Aztecs finally got sick of taunting me and shut up. I was able to close my eyes and dream. For the first few minutes, I turned the words from Arnold over in my head. I couldn’t believe that he was acting so restrained with me; it was like we had no history, no idea of what he thought it meant to be good to the club. Fucker, I thought with a growl. He just wants a fucking paycheck. He doesn’t care about the Devils.

 

As the hours dragged by, I stood up and stretched in my cell. Moving was painful, but I could tell that I’d be feeling better in a couple of days. Mostly, I was anxious to speak with Caroline. I had to get to her, or at least give her my word. Normally I wouldn’t have cared that much, but after the little scene in the coffee shop I didn’t want her calling the police. Caroline had to stay away from the cops just like I did; I was sure that she could be convicted of conspiring with Lucas. That little ratfaced fucker had cowed to me instantly. It had been so satisfying to watch him rip up the photos of Caroline. He’d kept the same distraught look on his face, like a pathetic little wretch. He was a pathetic little wretch, I thought to myself with a grin. And he’d deserve every bad thing that would ever happen to him.

 

I hadn’t told Caroline, but I planned on going back and making sure that he wasn’t going to spill. I knew a few ways to keep him silent. Pliers, a drill, some duct tape. Oh, no, Lucas wasn’t going to be harming anyone for a long time. Just thinking about him made me rage. I couldn’t believe the emotional and mental strain that he’d put Caroline through. That was the last thing she needed, some guy bullying her into committing a crime. It was one thing if I was an outlaw, it was entirely another if she was forced into doing something against her will.

 

Caroline. Just thinking about her name was enough to make that sweet scent of vanilla and chili wash over me. I thought of how her face turned that delicious shade of red when she was about to come, and how her sweet body trembled and shook under mine. She was one hot little minx, all right, and it was my duty to keep her coming over and over again. I licked my lips, imagining her salty and musky taste on my mouth. It was enough to make my cock twitch and stir in my pants, and I turned to face the wall so the Aztecs wouldn’t notice. Caroline. She was quickly becoming my only escape, my only release.

 

And then there was the matter of the club. Why hadn’t they told me that they’d canceled the meeting? I knew that my guys wouldn’t set me up for anything dangerous. We were brothers, we were a family. If they’d known about the Aztec ambush, they all would have been right there, fighting alongside me.

 

There was a loud snoring that filled the cell, and I turned around to see the two Aztecs asleep, their heads leaning on each other’s shoulders. I watched in disgust as drool slipped out of one of the guy’s mouth, mixed with blood, and dribbled down his chin.

 

“Fucking gross,” I said under my breath. My eyelids were heavy but every time I closed them, Caroline showed up behind my eyes. She was dancing and twirling in my head, with desire stamped plainly on her face. I felt my lips curve into a smile as I imagined Caroline waltzing closer and closer to me, kneeling down before me and stroking the insides of my legs with her soft hands.

 

It took effort not to moan out loud as I thought about her little body poured into a tight dress. Caroline was the sexiest woman that I’d ever seen; she had a killer body and tons of confidence. There was none of that self-conscious bullshit that so many other women struggled with. I never imagined for a second having to convince Caroline how amazing she looked in something and hearing her whine back about how fat she looked.

 

Thinking about Caroline made the time pass quickly, or at least made it feel like less drudgery. After my conversation with Arnold, I wasn’t hopeful that I’d make bail. I had no idea whether or not I’d be able to explain myself to Caroline later. I was hopeful that she wouldn’t be pissed, but there was no telling, especially with someone who had such a fiery temper.

 

Thinking of her temper made me excited in whole new ways, and I imagined us screaming at each other in frustration and then grabbing a hold of each other and having rough, hot sex. I imagined me pulling her hair until she screamed with pleasure and want, and the feel of her tight pussy clenching my cock. I loved the way Caroline’s skin took on such a delicious flush when she was aroused. I loved the way she smiled at her with the corners of her lips just barely turned up. It was the most sexy, secret little smile that I’d ever seen, and I was addicted. I thought about just how quickly I could get her in bed; it wasn’t difficult at all to think about walking through her front door, scooping her up, and taking her straight away. I knew that she’d have questions for me but that she’d let her desires take over, as always.

 

Caroline. Just the merest mention of her name drove me crazy! It was like nothing else I’d ever experienced. I knew from the first time I saw her behind the bar that she was something special. And when we talked and I caught wind of that attitude she flashed around…whoa! It was enough to get my blood pumping every time. There was something so incredibly sexy about a woman who was determined to take care of herself, but still couldn’t quite manage it on her own. It made me feel even more protective of her. Caroline wasn’t helpless, she wasn’t young; she was street smart and sexy as hell. But even she couldn’t manage everything on her own.

 

That was why taking out that fuckwit Lucas had felt so satisfying. I closed my eyes and imagined the way he’d been begging me, desperate, before ripping up the photos and promising never to mess with Caroline again. It had been all too easy. I imagined that he’d never actually been challenged before; the sight of me must have been enough to make him want to shit his pants in fear.

 

A low chuckle escaped from my lips as I imagined telling Caroline all about it. I’d obviously leave out the gory details, but I wanted her to know that she never had anything else to worry about ever again. I was an outlaw, but I was her outlaw, damnit. And I was going to take care of her if it was the last thing I ever did. I had to admire the way that Caroline wasn’t scared of my intensity. I’d been with so many women who loved it for a night, but wanted a change as soon as it was light outside. So many women who were content with a bad boy in bed but they wanted a gentleman the rest of the time. It was enough to make me laugh; just how did they think men like me got such big balls? Not from fucking wearing a suit and going to college, that’s for damn sure.

 

I’d been with a woman once who had turned me on almost as much as Caroline. She had the same spark, the same fiery look in her eyes. In bed, she’d been an animal. She’d tied me down and licked her tongue all over my body. She’d asked me to spank her until her ass was purple and blue from the bruises. I’d obliged, willingly, but she’d cried in the morning when I left. She’d been so disappointed that I wasn’t going to take her to brunch and meet all of her little friends. It was disgusting. Women like that wanted one good fuck, and then they wanted to own you. Caroline wasn’t like that, not at all. I loved the way that she’d been so secretive when we first met, as if something about her was going to scare me away. I could tell that she’d been through rough shit, too, and that it was only a matter of time before her secrets came pouring out, just like mine.

 

That was Caroline’s appeal in a nutshell: she’d been through places just as dark as me, but she wasn’t about to let it ruin her life.

 

I imagined the kind of life we’d have together. I’d be out with the club, raising hell, and come home to her cooking dinner. But instead of eating the meal, I’d fuck her on the table. Afterwards, we’d shower together and I’d fuck her against the wall of the bathroom. Then, later, after the food was cold, I knew that she’d clean up the kitchen and we’d laugh together and order pizza. It was paradise. It was everything that I’d never dreamed of before, because I hadn’t had Caroline. But with Caroline, everything was possible. The whole world was possible.

 

“Dover!” a sharp voice called. My eyes flew open and I saw a young cop standing on the other side of the cell door. “Bail’s posted. You’re out of here.”