Chapter Four

Caroline

 

I spent the whole weekend trying to think of a plan. Anything. Something. Even though I knew it was a long shot, I figured that some good old-fashioned brainstorming could help me evade Lucas and whatever sleazy proposition he had for me. But that was about as far as it got. I didn’t have the guts to call Elizabeth, not even to ask if she had a job for me. Elizabeth was a real estate agent. She hadn’t gone to college either, but unlike me, she actually had something to show for her years of hard work. The best thing she could have done was told me about some temp gig in her office, and I didn’t want that charity. I couldn’t stand to hear the pity in her voice.

 

By Monday morning, I knew that Lucas was my last chance. I hadn’t been able to scrape together any other support. Even combing through the back pages of the paper hadn’t done anything. A few years ago, I saw gigs for amateur strippers. Now there was nothing. Even though the whole thing was sordid, it still had to be better than dealing with Lucas.

 

I took my time getting ready and wore looser, straight-leg jeans with a baggy sweater. I put makeup on—I didn’t want to look sloppy, but I didn’t want to look appealing either. The park where he’d wanted me to meet him was on the other side of town. When I got into my car and started it up, I had a panicky moment where the engine wouldn’t turn over. Just as I started feeling like I was going to cry, it finally jumped to life. Thank god, I thought. The last thing I needed was for my car to go, too.

 

Lucas’s white pickup truck was parked on the edge of the parking lot. I looked around nervously; it was a nice fall morning, but meeting him here seemed so seedy. The air smelled fresh, but when I got closer to his car, the reek of cigarettes was pervasive.

 

Lucas grinned when he saw me. “Hey, baby,” he said in a teasing voice, and I fought the urge to shudder. “You wanna hop in and go for a ride?”

 

I rolled my eyes. “Let’s talk over there,” I said, pointing to a gazebo. It was in plain view of the street, and I didn’t want to be in his car. Even though he’d promised it wouldn’t be anything weird, I still didn’t trust him.

 

Lucas frowned. “You’re a tough sell, baby,” he commented.

 

I started walking through the grass when I caught sight of him fussing with a cigar and a lighter in the wind. Men. Were they all so goddamn self-absorbed?

 

“So what’s the job?” I asked warily.

 

Lucas leaned in so close that I could smell his nasty cologne. “Helping me out,” he said, grinning and pointing at his chest. “You’re gonna be real good at it baby, I just know it.”

 

I grimaced. “Lucas, can you stop calling me that? Please. It’s gross.”

 

Lucas threw his head back and laughed. My feeling of uneasiness doubled, and I felt my stomach twist into a tighter knot than before. “Whatever, baby,” he said finally, tossing his hand in the air. “Shit, you women go through women’s lib and think y’all own us,” he said teasingly. “You wouldn’t wanna act like that, now would you?”

 

“Just get to the point,” I hissed.

 

Lucas let out a loud guffaw. “Why, baby? You got somewhere to be?”

 

We both knew that I didn’t. A blush rose over my cheeks and neck as he leaned in and gave me a more thorough looking-over. “What?”

 

Lucas folded his hands over his chest. “You’re gonna be helping me,” he repeated. “Don’t you wanna help me, baby?”

 

I sighed. “Yes, Lucas. I want to help you.”

 

He smiled. “Good. That’s the first agreeable thing you’ve said, Caroline.”

 

The way he said my name made me want to shudder. “This is a little research project,” Lucas continued. “You think you can handle that?”

 

I frowned. Research didn’t sound so bad, but I had a feeling there was a catch. “What?” I looked up at him. “What do I have to do?”

 

“I’m gonna give you a little list of things, and you’re gonna scout for me.” He handed me a sheaf of paper; the cover page had a large coffee stain on it. “You’re gonna go through this little guide here and then tell me where all of the items are in the store.” He grinned at me. “It’ll be like a little scavenger hunt,” he added. “You think you can handle that?”

 

I nodded again. “Yeah,” I said after a beat. “That’s not so bad. What else?” A bad feeling was forming in the pit of my stomach. I knew that what I’d be doing would be counted as abetting a crime. But I didn’t have any other choice; I had to do it.

 

“Tell me some other things, you know, tell me anything that a little birdy might like to hear. Find out where the back room is. Tell me what the employees look like. Tell me how many of them there are.”

 

I nodded. Each task sounded worse than the previous ones, but I went along numbly. “What are you going to give me?” I asked finally. I winced as I said it and Lucas grinned; by finally acknowledging it out loud, I knew that he had me. Hook, line, and sinker.

 

“I’ll give you five thousand,” Lucas said quietly. “Seven if you do a really good job, you got that?”

 

I blinked. “Wow,” I said uneasily. “Are you sure? That’s a lot of money.” In my head, I tried to calculate how long I could go to jail for something like this. Years, probably. I shuddered. It seemed pointless to do it if I’d get caught. But if I didn’t do it, and I lost my apartment…

 

“I’m sure, baby,” Lucas said, his lascivious grin back in place. “Besides, maybe you can use some of that money to buy back some pictures from me.”

 

My mouth went dry. “What?”

 

Lucas pulled a second envelope out of his pocket. He opened it and pulled out some snapshots, keeping the pictures facing him. I could only see the Kodak paper on the back. He looked at me coyly. “Wanna see?”

 

My heart was thudding but I nodded. “Not really,” I said quietly. “But show me anyway.”

 

Lucas did a little twirl and presented me with the photos. I gasped and covered my eyes with my hands. They were all of me, of course, stark naked. I knew them immediately. I’d posed for an amateur photographer when I was first getting desperate about acting. The post had lied; I thought I was going to the set of a B-movie, but really it was just some creep’s house. He’d paid me five hundred dollars to sprawl around on his furniture naked. There hadn’t been enough showers in the world that could have cleansed me of the feeling of knowing I’d lain naked where unimaginable things happened. The worst of the photos showed me masturbating. With Lucas holding them in front of me, I felt myself start to shake and cry. The humiliation of confrontation was even worse than the memory of having them taken.

 

“Don’t cry, baby,” Lucas said. He patted me on the shoulder and I pushed his hand away quickly. “I’d say these are only worth a grand or two. Use some of that money you get from me to take charge of them, eh?”

 

I groaned and stared at him. “You’re a sick fuck,” I said finally. “You’re making me help you, and then blackmailing me for money?”

 

Lucas grinned. “All in a day’s work, baby,” he said cheerfully as he stuffed the pictures back in the envelope.

 

My heart thudded in my chest and I stared at him. For a moment, he just seemed like a guy trying to make a buck. He didn’t seem creepy, or even that weird. But he seemed dastardly, and I hated him, and I knew that I owed him a lot in return.

 

“I’ll do it,” I said finally. “But I want the pictures back. Now.”

 

Lucas shook his head. “No good, baby,” he said. “They’re gonna be posted online unless you deliver. That’s part of the incentive.”

 

Every remotely nice thing that I’d thought about him the moment before suddenly left my brain. I glared. “I hate you,” I spat. “You knew I’d have to say yes, even if I had another choice.” The despair radiating through my body was a new personal low. I had to realize that even if I had come up with another option over the weekend, the naked pictures would have forced me right where Lucas wanted me. Angrily, I blinked back tears.

 

“Don’t take it personally, baby. Trust me, this ain’t nothin’ new. I just need some help here.”

 

“I said I’d do it and I will.But this is the last time that you’ll bother me. After you give me those pictures back, they’re mine. And you’re on your own.”

 

Lucas rolled his eyes. “You need me, baby,” he said in a low voice. “Remember that. You need me.”

 

His words haunted me as I walked back to my car. I hated to admit it, but he was more right than he knew.