Chapter Thirty

Caroline

 

The police station was even more imposing than I imagined it would be. I blinked hastily as Officer Jameson shuffled us inside. We weren’t handcuffed, but Lucas was. Seeing his hands pinned behind his back, his face covered in blood, I wanted to laugh. He suddenly looked so pathetic. I couldn’t believe that I’d been afraid of him. Secretly, I felt like a fool. Lucas was dangerous, but I didn’t think he was a killer. I didn’t think that he would have shot me.

 

I hated myself for not fighting harder. I hated myself for getting Carson involved in this, and I hated myself for loving him more than ever. I knew that this signaled the end of things between us. If I wasn’t going to jail, Carson probably was. And then he’d hate me forever. I wondered if I’d ever be able to forgive myself for sending Carson back to prison. Right now, it didn’t look likely.

 

I thought about the conversation Elizabeth and I would have. It would be sometime after I’d gotten back on my feet, barely. And she’d still be judgmental, but I’d no longer care. It was funny how little things changed in a matter of weeks. Or days, even. I couldn’t remember when I’d first felt that I was falling in love with Carson. But it was more powerful than anything I’d ever experienced, and I knew what had happened would haunt me for the rest of my life.

 

“Caroline? Caroline?” Officer Jameson leaned in my face. “We’re going to go talk now, okay?”

 

I shot a fearful look at Carson. He nodded, as if to tell me that everything was going to be okay. “Okay,” I said softly. “I’ll follow you.”

 

Jameson led me down a narrow corridor and into a windowless, tiny room. There was a desk with two chairs and a plant on the desk. It was grim, but it didn’t look as dire as I’d imagined. Maybe everything really would be okay. Maybe. But probably not, I thought to myself. They’re probably just trying to lull you into a false sense of security.

 

“We understand you were acquainted with Lucas Lauder through your old job at The Silk Aria. That’s managed by Eddie Blanco, right?”

 

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.” I said. “I only met Lucas a few months ago. But he was always creepy.”

 

The cop shook his head. “Try to avoid saying things like that,” he said. “I get what you mean, but we need an objective portrayal of events. What happened to link you with Lucas?”

 

I blinked. “Um,” I said, blushing, “don’t you know this?”

 

The cop stared at me. “We just need to hear it from you,” he said. “I know this isn’t easy for you. But please try to work with me, okay? This is the nicer alternative. We could put you up in a cell for a few hours and then try talking. But I have a feeling you wouldn’t like that very much.”

 

I shivered. “Okay,” I stammered. “Eddie laid me off because he couldn’t afford to keep me working. And when I got home that night, there was an eviction notice on my door. I only had a few days to come up with over a thousand dollars.” I blinked. The cop was scrawling everything I said down on a pad of paper, and there was a tape recorder with a little blinking red light.

 

“And then what happened?”

 

“Well, I went to beg for my job back the next morning,” I said. “I stayed up all night trying to think of ways to get the money. But there wasn’t anything plausible. I mean, you saw my apartment, you know I don’t have anything to sell.” It was meant to be a joke, but Jameson didn’t laugh.

 

“And then?” Jameson’s manner was uniformly intense.

 

My stomach started to cramp up and I felt the tears coming back. Hastily, I blinked my eyes and tried to clear them away.

 

“And obviously Eddie said he couldn’t consider rehiring me,” I said flatly. A tear fell down my cheek, and I wiped it away. “Just as I was leaving, Lucas told me that he could help me. He told me to meet him early the next week in the park, and he’d tell me what he wanted me to do.”

 

“And you believed this was a legitimate opportunity for work?” Jameson glanced at me. “You didn’t think that he would do anything dangerous, or illegal?”

 

“Um,” I stammered. “I’m not sure. I was so desperate that I’m not sure what I thought. I barely knew Lucas at that point.”

 

Jameson took a long time writing down what I’d said. A stab of fear pierced my heart and I shivered. “Okay, what next?”

 

“So I went to meet him. And I was still looking for lots of other opportunities on the side. But nothing came up, so I didn’t have a choice. I went to meet him in the park.” I looked expectantly at Jameson and he motioned for me to keep talking. “And he told me he wanted some help with something. When I told him I wouldn’t do anything illegal, he promised me that it wasn’t illegal. He said he just needed help scouting a store.”

 

My heart was sinking fast as I retold the story. More than ever, it looked like I could be charged with something. I hated myself for being in such a desperate situation, but Jameson looked at me with sympathy.

 

“Continue, Ms. Wagner,” Jameson said.

 

“And when I refused to help, he showed me these pictures,” I said, blushing furiously. “They were naked pictures I had taken for money when I was much younger. I didn’t want anyone to find out about them, and Lucas said he would sell them to revenge porn sites if I didn’t cooperate with him.”

 

Jameson shook his head. I couldn’t tell whether he was judging me or Lucas, but he nodded for me to go on.

 

“So I did it,” I said hastily. “Lucas never paid me. Carson went to talk to him and came back with cash. That was how I paid my rent.”

 

Jameson narrowed his eyes. “So you had your friend Mr. Dover take care of Lucas?”

 

“No, no,” I said, shaking my head. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t know what he was going to do, and he promised that Lucas wouldn’t be hurt.”

 

Jameson glanced up. “I see,” he said.

 

I was dying to ask him more questions, but I kept my mouth shut.

 

“And then I thought Lucas was gone. But he showed up at my apartment and hit me and forced me into his car with a gun to my head. He told me if I didn’t help him rob the store, he’d shoot me and everyone else. He threatened me, Officer,” I said, trying to make my eyes big. “I was afraid for my life. And for Carson’s. He told me that if I didn’t help him, he’d hurt Carson.”

 

“And he arranged for Mr. Dover to be kidnapped, is that correct?”

 

“Yes,” I said. “I’m not sure what happened; we haven’t gotten to talk about it.”

 

“My understanding is that Mr. Dover was attacked from behind in the parking lot of a bar. He woke up incapacitated and tied up. I’m not sure how he escaped, but he received the recording from you shortly thereafter.”

 

“Okay,” I said, blinking. “Yeah, I don’t exactly know what happened. Aren’t you going to talk to Carson about it?”

 

Donnelly nodded. “We’re speaking with him right now,” he said. “It was important that we talked to each of you separately, to make sure we’re getting the truth.”

 

“What happens now?” I asked in a scared voice. “Will I have to go to prison?”

 

“Probably not,” Jameson said. “It’s likely that we’ll need you to come back in for more interviews, though, so please don’t think about leaving town.”

 

My heart clanged against the walls of my chest, and I nodded. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling could be called relief or not, but it was something. I sagged against the back of the chair. I was feeling exhausted. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since the whole thing happened, but I was feeling like I’d been awake for over a week.

 

“Can I go?”

 

“Sure,” Jameson said. “And, Caroline, remember what I told you. No traveling right now, no going out of town. If we try to get in touch with you, please be responsive.”

 

“Do you think you’ll need to?” My voice came out as a squeak.

 

“I’m not sure,” Donnelly said. “But this is a necessary precaution.”

 

My legs felt like lead as he directed me to the lobby. “Thanks,” I said. I blushed when I realized that I’d spoken automatically.

 

Carson was sitting on a wooden bench. His lips curved up when he saw me and he looked just as tired as I felt.

 

“Hi,” I said shyly. “We should go by the hospital.”

 

Carson shook his head. “I feel fine,” he insisted. “Come on. I’ll drop you at home.”

 

“We’re going to the hospital,” I said, stamping my foot down. “You could be hurt, Carson.”

 

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Come on. I’ll take you on my bike.”

 

Officer Jameson gave us a ride back to my apartment. He looked at me carefully. “Do you have a place to stay? Your apartment is technically a crime scene right now. You won’t be able to go inside for a few days.”

 

I swallowed hard. “Yeah,” I said, thinking of Elizabeth. “I have a friend I can stay with.”

 

Jameson nodded. “Good. Do you need an escort to the hospital?”

 

I shook my head. “We’re fine, thanks,” I said.

 

Jameson gazed from me to Carson. He wagged a finger in our direction. “Remember what I told you,” Jameson warned. “Both of you.”

 

Carson nodded. “We’ll remember,” he said gruffly. “Thanks for the lift.”

 

Carson handed me a helmet and I climbed on the back of his bike. Wrapping my arms around him and clinging tightly felt like the most natural thing in the world. It was hard to imagine that soon I wouldn’t have him around anymore. After everything that had happened, I couldn’t imagine that he’d actually want to stay with me. The hospital could be the last place I saw him.

 

The drive seemed to take no time at all. Carson parked his bike and we walked towards the emergency entrance together. He looked down at me and raked a hand through his blond hair.

 

“Doesn’t really feel real, does it?”

 

“What?” I looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, this isn’t really an emergency,” Carson said with a smirk. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

 

“It’s important,” I said, blushing. “You might be hurt.”

 

Carson rolled his eyes. “I’m not hurt,” he grumbled. “But we’ll get this done and taken care of.”

 

As we walked into the emergency room, all eyes were on Carson. People gasped when they realized he was covered in blood and he grinned and held up his hands. I had the sense that he was enjoying this. Against my better judgment, a ripple of excitement went through my body.

 

After we’d checked in, I settled down on the leatherette chairs next to Carson. His frame was so big that he took up three seats and he stretched out and sighed.

 

“How long do you think we’ll be here?”

 

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

 

Carson looked away and I felt that pang of anxiety flash through me again. “It’s fine,” he said. “Damn, what a week though, right?”

 

I nodded uneasily. “The worst I’ve ever had, probably,” I said. “Probably more typical for you.”

 

Carson laughed drily. “Not even a chance,” he said. “This tops almost everything to happen lately.”

 

A nurse stepped out from the back and called his name. He got up and followed her down the hall, turning around to glance at me one last time.

 

“I won’t be long,” he called. “Can you wait here?”

 

I nodded. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go,” I told him. But he’d already left.

 

When I was alone, I shut my eyes and let my head drop into my hands. I was so tired that reality seemed to have cling-wrap coating it. But every time I was without Carson, things just seemed so much worse. Maybe in another time, or another life, we could have gotten together and loved each other. Maybe. But not now, I thought dully. Not after all this.

 

I hated Lucas. I was glad that he was behind bars. A small part of me was even glad that Carson had beaten him so badly. He deserves it, I thought. I blushed. It was probably one of the meanest thoughts I’d ever had in my whole life, but it was true.

 

It took a couple of hours for Carson to re-appear. He swaggered out in his jeans, carrying his MC vest in his arms. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”

 

We walked out to the bike in silence. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Carson said. “I’m fine. How are you?”

 

I yawned. Carson laughed. “About like that,” I admitted, rubbing my face. “I want a bath. And a nap. And a pizza.”

 

Carson climbed on his bike and I got on behind him. I’d miss this, this speeding around on a big black engine. It made me feel both powerful and protected, like Carson himself was responsible for the thrill of riding a motorcycle. I shivered; the day was turning into dusk and I wasn’t wearing a heavy jacket.

 

The ride to Carson’s apartment took a long time. In my head, I was thinking of what I would say to Elizabeth. She’d bitch about it, but she’d let me stay, especially after I told her what happened. I closed my eyes and imagined the rest of my life alone, a spinster aunt to Amy. Elizabeth would probably get remarried. But after this, I knew I had to stay away from men for the rest of my life, especially men like Carson, men who were dangerous, because I could fall in love with them.

 

“Thanks for the ride,” I said in a strained voice. We were standing in the parking lot and I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. “I appreciate it. I’m gonna call my friend Elizabeth now. I think she’ll let me crash with her.”

 

Carson frowned. “And just why are you leaving?”

 

I looked at him. His face was completely open and sincere. But telling him was going to be hard. “Because I fucked up,” I said, looking down. “I fucked up and I assumed things were over between us. I put you in danger. I put you at risk of going to prison again!” Tears were beginning to prick my eyes and I looked at the ground, rubbing my toe against the asphalt. “I’m sorry,” I added. “I know that’s not good enough, but if I could change everything, if I could go back, I would in a heartbeat!”

 

“Caroline,” Carson said in his trademark gruff voice. “What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“Come on,” I said bitterly. “You wouldn’t want to be with me now. You don’t want a woman who puts herself and you in bad situations all the time. And after everything that happened with Lucas?” I sniffed. “I know there’s no way it could work out between us.”

 

Carson sighed loudly. He put his helmet down on his bike and looked into my eyes. I felt a shiver of fear and arousal spike through my body when I realized I had no idea what he was thinking. “Caroline, that’s not true,” he said. “None of it is. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to be without you.”

 

My heart lurched in my chest. “What?” I looked up at him. “But what about when I left? What about when I ran away from you the other night?”

 

Carson laughed. “So don’t do it again,” he said in a lighter tone. “And besides, you apologized for that. When you called me earlier today, you said you were sorry. Apology accepted.”

 

I stared at him, feeling dumbfounded. “Are you sure?”

 

Carson reached out and wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me close. In a second, I felt my body slam against his. “I’m more than sure,” he said, nuzzling my hair. A spark of electricity jumped between us. “And if you ever try to leave again, I’ll tie you to my bed.”

 

I sagged against him. Relief and love were flooding my body. “I love you,” I said quietly into his chest. “I love you, Carson.”

 

Carson hugged me tighter. “I love you too,” he said. “Now come on. Let’s go inside. I have a feeling we have a lot of catching up to do.”

 

THE END

 

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