“TOSS ME THAT Allen key, would ya?” Sweat lined Drew’s brow as he worked to keep his foot on a rowdy piece of metal while simultaneously holding its adjacent part lined up.
“So, an Allen key would be . . .” I bit my lip and searched the scrap scattered along the empty corner of my apartment.
Drew swiped his forearm across his forehead, still holding the bulky piece of steel, and looked at me like I had sprouted ten heads. Working so closely with him the last couple weeks I was getting to know him better, and I could tell there were a million wise-cracks dying to come out of his mouth. Instead, he just used his “I’m talking-to-a-child” voice. “L-shaped object. Inserts on the ends. Please.” He stretched out his hand.
I tossed things aside until the tool he’d described appeared. “You know I’ve never built anything in my life, right? I’m not really a dude just because you’re trying to turn me into one.” I tossed the tool, and he quickly dropped what he was holding to clap it between his hands.
A low growl rumbled from his throat. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Ignoring his scowl, I hopped to my feet and brushed off my hands. “Want a drink?”
“Water. Thanks.” A few clanks later, I knew he’d gone back to his project of building me a home gym.
A melancholy feeling settled over me as I stared at the set of biceps working vigorously in my living room. Not that I was nervous to have him in my apartment alone with me, but it only reminded me that it was the wrong set of biceps. I was more than grateful for the support Drew had given me, the sacrifices of his time and his income to train me. He was a good friend. But all of my accomplishments, any of my growth was stunted when I couldn’t share it with the one person who mattered most. At least once a day I would convince myself that I could go back to Blake, give up the charade and beg him to take me back. But then all of the reasons why I couldn’t do that would creep back in. His new girl. And the fact that no matter how much better I was starting to get, I was far from fixed enough. After what I had put him through, I needed to be one thousand percent sure I would never even have an inkling to walk away from him again. To hurt him like that again. No, when I went back to Blake, I had to be ready. In mind, body, and heart.
I filled a cup with tap water and then grabbed two bottled waters from the fridge, setting one beside Drew whose tongue was pressed into his top lip with his struggles, before I stepped out to the balcony. Why I continued to water the pot of dirt that sat out here was a mystery, but something in me kept hoping Blake was right and the flowers inside would live to see another day. Or maybe it was just another pathetic attempt at feeling close to him, like a part of him was still here.
I squatted and watched the water absorb into the dirt with my slow pour, my mind reminiscent, the memory as fresh as the day it was etched into my brain.
Forget not . . . you’re cared for.
I hung my head, the cup hanging between my bent legs, allowing myself a weak moment while I was alone.
Drew’s knock at the glass brought me back to the moment. He didn’t look happy as his choppy hand motions and bugged out eyes beckoned me back inside. “You know this is for you, right? You could at least give me a hand.” Drew suspended some unidentifiable bungee-thing from the top of the contraption.
“That’s debatable. I think you’re just trying to make your job easier.” I loved messing with him. He was too easy. “What do you want me to do, crybaby?”
Drew let out a weighted huff, losing his patience. “You know, sometimes I question why I bother with you at all.”
“Lies.” I grabbed the edge of the elastic band. “You want me to hold this?” Before I could secure it tightly enough, the cord slipped from my grasp and whipped Drew on the arm.
“Ouch!” He flung to the side, sending the piece of metal he was about to attach clamoring to the floor. He rubbed at the welt. “You’re killin’ me,” he joked through the pain.
“Sorry . . .” I reached out, wincing as I inspected the red swell on his bicep.
“Helloooo . . .” My front door opened without a knock, and Jace stepped inside, talking without looking over. “Feed me, I’m star—” His tone immediately took on a new sound as he eyed the bulky bicep I was holding. “Well, hello there.” He sauntered over. “And who has the pleasure of meeting me?” One hand was tucked to his chest while the other reached toward Drew for a shake.
“Jace, I think you have that backward.” I rubbed my thumb over Drew’s wound and smiled up at him. “You’ll live.”
“Honey, trust me, I’d know if I was backward in that man’s presence. And it would certainly be his pleasure.” Jace licked his lips.
“Jace!”
Drew laughed and stuck out a hand. “Drew. And we’ve met. I guess I’m just easy to forget.”
“Algebra is easy to forget.” He waved a gesturing finger, his eyes salivating. “You, my dear, will be on my mind all night. And recalled on as often as needed, if you get my drift.”
Drew’s face turned pink. I slapped my palm to my forehead and shook my head. “Welcome to the crazy, Drew. Grab some popcorn and enjoy the show.”
“It’s Oscar-worthy.” Jace used his pinky to swipe along his hairline before blowing Drew a kiss.
Drew chuckled, shaking his head as he bent to pick up the pieces he had dropped. “I remember.”
Jace waved his hands. “What’s all this man-stuff, and why is it in my bitch’s apartment?”
“Hey, I resent that. It’s not man-stuff, it’s a home gym. Don’t be so sexist.” I laughed, grabbing the elastic more carefully this time. I liked the fact that Drew was setting this up here. It would serve as a good outlet to get out my frustrations when things were too tough.
A smirk crawled up Jace’s face that could only mean one thing was coming. I cringed, waiting. “Honey, I’ve had a Jim at home, too, but he left in the morning. He didn’t set up shop.” And there it was.
All of the air rushed out of my nose in a snort. “Oh my god!” I laughed so hard, I doubled over, letting the elastic fly once again.
“Eva!” Drew yelped.
“I’m sorry!” I apologized, still laughing as water filled my eyes. Grabbing the elastic for the third time, I turned my focus to my best friend and pointed a free finger to the floor. “Down, Jace. Heel.”
Jace popped to the floor, pulling his legs in enthusiastically to a crisscrossed position. “I bet he looks even better from this angle.”
Drew’s eyes nearly popped out as he paused in his struggles and gaped at Jace.
Jace licked the line of his upper lip.
“Enough!” I yelled at him. “Can we get this done, please? My arms are killing me.”
Drew finally hooked the piece that was laboring him. “This is today’s workout. Stop crying. I’ve done worse to you than this.”
Jace made the sign of the cross and propped his hands to the customary praying position. “Dear Lord, please let this man do worse to me. I’ve been a bad boy. I deserve—”
“Jace!” I launched a screw at him. I couldn’t take much more. Drew clapped a hand to his abs and bent back in hysterics. “Don’t encourage him.” I frowned.
“I’m sorry, but he’s fantastic,” Drew said around his laughs.
“Please, can we finish?” I exhaled, exhausted. As much as I wanted to seem like all was okay on the outside, holding that face in place was hard after a while and I wasn’t in the mood to keep it up much longer.
“Okay, okay.” Drew hung a punching bag from the top of the sophisticated piece of equipment, then he opened a long cardboard box and hung a mirror on the wall behind it, before lining up some free weights and workout balls below it. Bulky as it was, it fit right in as though it was meant to be there.
“I’m thinking I might not even need you anymore.” I eyed his finished product, impressed and eager to use it.
“You’ll always need me to kick your cute little ass.” Drew crossed his arms over his broad chest and rocked to the right, nudging my shoulder.
Jace hopped up, jumping. “Oh, Oh, Oh. Kick mine! Kick mine!”
Defeated, I hung my head.
“Let me try.” I heard Jace through the blonde waves hanging in my face. I brushed them aside just in time to see Jace grabbing onto the piece of elastic that had tried our patience moments before. “This is like a ginormous sex toy.” He tugged and swung, lifting his legs in a chicken flail as he bobbed, laughing.
I chortled into my hands as Drew tried from every angle to grab hold of one of Jace’s body parts. “You’re gonna break it!” Drew yelled, anxious at the prospect of all his hard work going down the drain.
Jace hopped off and curtsied. “The only thing I’d break is you. Your machine-thingy is safe.” He blew another kiss before turning to disappear into the kitchen. “Now feed me already.”
Drew followed. “Yeah, I could use a sandwich myself. That was worse than a workout.”
My gaze roamed the small corner of my apartment from the home gym to the floor mat, to the weights, before finally landing on my reflection in the full-length mirror. Something was always missing, but a small piece of me felt okay. As heartbroken as I was, parts of me were beginning to feel fulfilled. Like a salve had been spread over a bunch of tiny cuts lining my body, and it knew that in the end there would be healing because of it.
I promise to give this my all. I’ll make it work. For me. For Blake.
For us.
A smile found my lips and then fell just as quickly when my phone pinged.
Damon: How’s Blake? Oh, wait, you’re alone now right? Want company?