“HEY, MAMA-JAMA.” JESSIE planted a kiss on my cheek, then plopped into the chair across from me in the cafeteria, plucking a fry from my plate on her descent.
“Hey, girl. Here take ‘em. I’m done.” I slid my tray toward her.
“Nah, I shouldn’t. I started this crazy diet. They looked too good, though.” Jessie stared at the fries like a woman stuck on a deserted island.
“Why are you dieting exactly?” I frowned at my perfectly petite friend.
“There are too many rolls in this oven.” She pointed to her flat midsection. “I’m never gonna get a man with all this.”
I chuckled. “You’re never going to get a man because you’re hung up on one man in particular.” I raised a knowing brow at her.
She scowled. “Well, I’ll never get that man with these rolls then.”
“Stop it, ass.” I waved her off, hating when she put herself down. “You’re perfect and gorgeous, and you know it.”
“But—”
“Zzz—” I made a zipper noise and motioned with my hand for her to shut her mouth.
“Whatever.” She shoved a fry into her mouth and closed her eyes, savoring its salty goodness. “God, I love fries.” She spoke around her next bite. “Speaking of Rick, I think I’m giving up on him. That’s why all of the dieting and stuff. I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Her eyes were sad.
I shook my head. “I wish I could help you with that one. I don’t know what his story is. I can’t figure him out.” I twisted the cap off my water and took a sip. “I mean, it’s obvious he has feelings for you. Everyone can see it, so I just don’t get it.”
She sighed as she eyed another fry. “I’ve exhausted myself trying to figure it out. I may just throw myself onto him until he surrenders.” She laughed lightly, but unlike her normal Jessie cackle, there wasn’t much humor behind it.
“Maybe that’s what he needs.” I winked.
She waved her hand around. “I don’t want to talk about him. Let me enjoy my fries.” She popped another into her mouth and closed her eyes along with her lips with a moan.
“’Kay. You coming to the bar tonight?”
She paused and looked up. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t if I want to move on, right?”
I shrugged, feeling sorry she had to go through this. I knew how it felt to not be able to be with the one you loved, and it sucked. As I was thinking that, strong fingers slid around the back of my neck, sending a warming tingle over my skin. The touch was so familiar, I didn’t have to turn to see who it was. I merely pressed further into it, tilting my head against it. Blake dropped a kiss below my ear and scooted me up a bit so he could slip behind me on the same seat, cloaking me with his manly, musky scent.
“Hey, Jessie.” The way his words tickled the little hairs lining my neck, I knew he didn’t look at her as he addressed her.
A warm rush raged across my skin at the feel of it combined with his open palms dragging along the tops of my thighs, before coming up to settle right below what would be considered indecent. I turned my face to his, and he eyed my lips. “Hey, Angel.” The warmth in his tone heated my core, delivering a rush of blood to my cheeks.
“Hi, Blake.” Only a sliver of air rested between our parted lips as we took each other in.
It had been a little over a week since the hotel, and Blake and I were settling back into us, taking every advantage we could to be as close as possible to make up for lost time. In our previous relationship together, I had always been somewhat guarded, but after months of therapy and training, and living with a loss that put me in a place so low I thought I would never dig out from it, I was fortified now. Strong. I was in control of every aspect of myself, and I would never lose sight of that again. I made a vow to enjoy every bit of this man at all times, and that’s exactly what I was doing.
Both of our eyes remained open as he closed the remaining distance and took my lips in his. The taste of him was enough to roll my eyes back into my head, but the sparkles dancing in the blue pools of his kept me entranced. His fingers bit into the tops of my thighs, and I knew it was taking a lot of control on his part to restrain himself. Knowing the effect I had on him always got me going, I scooted back a little more in my chair, pushing my ass against his growing erection. His eyes widened and then slid closed as he skimmed a hand over my torso and up to my jaw, holding my head in a tilted incline to lick into my mouth. I moaned onto his tongue, drawing it in for a suck before the harsh clearing of a throat called to us from the other side of the table. In a dazed fog, our lips parted, my eyes lazily opening to find Jessie, stunned.
“You guys . . . for real?”
“Sorry about that.” I used my ring finger to dab the corner of my mouth and then glanced to my right, heat still soaked into my cheeks. “He’s just so delicious.”
“Uck, I can’t. I’m outta here.” Jessie pushed to her feet and picked up her pile of books.
“Hang on,” Blake called to her on a chuckle.
She turned, jokingly covering her eyes, and splitting her fingers to look between. “Yeah?”
Blake shook his head and hung his fingers with mine. “My Hamptons house is free for Memorial Day. We’re headed there for the weekend next Saturday. I wanted to invite you to come along. There’s a bunch of bedrooms, so there’s more than enough room.”
“Thanks!” Her hand dropped, and her smile returned. “Sounds like fun.” She waved and scooted off.
I turned to partially face Blake, and he growled. “We may never get to see anyone while we’re there, though. I don’t plan to release you from my chambers much.” He nipped the edge of my nose.
That brought something to mind. “Speaking of chambers, what’s going on with your dad?”
“Now?” His eyes widened in disbelief. “You want to talk about him now?” He lowered his voice. “When my dick is hard, and I was about to tell you about the stock I purchased in whipped cream?” He looked down to his lap. “And there it goes,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, professor. She didn’t mean it.”
“I’ll make it up to you later,” I spoke to his lap.
“Well, in that case.” Blake snaked his arms around my waist and squeezed, dropping his chin to my shoulder.
“But you still have to answer the question.” I pushed back on his chest.
“Aaaand, he’s gone again.” He twirled his hand toward his member and relaxed back.
I twisted in my seat. “Is there something you don’t want to tell me?” I grew serious, studying him.
Blake huffed. “You know I’ve been trying to avoid negative areas where we’re concerned right now. I mean, I haven’t even read your journal yet. I’m just trying to stay in our little happyland bubble a while longer. Is that too much to ask?”
“That’s all fine and good, but real life is still happening.” I slid my hand over his knee wanting to communicate, for him to know I was here for him. “What’s going on?”
Blake deflated behind me. “While we were apart, I decided to go through with my father’s plans for my career. I was miserable anyway, so I figured it made no difference at that point.”
I slumped inward. Each time I remembered how I’d hurt him, it was like a new punch to the gut.
“Anyway,” he continued hesitantly, “if I couldn’t be happy, I figured maybe it’d feel good to at least make him happy. So I asked him to set me up with an internship with a firm of his choice over the summer.” Blake sent me a sidelong glance.
Visions of us lazing at the beach and underneath Bertha every day evaporated before my eyes. Before we had broken up, I’d been so close to convincing him to give up law. I was sure of it. Now I wasn’t sure it would ever be a possibility, and I wouldn’t even have this last summer before his senior year to convince him anymore.
“Can you cancel it?” Hope rose in my voice that I could give him a way out. “Say you changed your mind?”
“Cancel? Are you for real? If I want to throw everything out the window and forget I have a father, sure.” Sarcasm dripped from Blake’s tone, the nonchalance in his features confirming he didn’t mean to do any of that.
“Blake,” his name rested on a sigh, “why would you do that? You were so close to changing your life. I gave you those photography classes, hoping your love for it would overpower your need to appease him. That you’d want to be happy.” The light that he had whenever we were together dimmed with the grim topic, proving my point.
“I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. You don’t understand the place I was in. You were—are,” he focused deeper into my eyes, “the most important thing to me. With you gone, I would’ve never been happy anyway. Those classes were all right, but I couldn’t enjoy them when I couldn’t share them with you.”
Sadness crowded my skin. He was wrong. I did understand the place he’d been in because I had dwelled there, too. It was a low, dark, and horrible grave. I got it. “But that part of your life is over.” I spun in my chair and hooked my legs at the knee over his thick thigh so I could better focus on his eyes which were melancholy and far away at the moment.
“I’m here now.” I tried to return some of his hope. “Just tell your dad you’ve changed your mind and want to take one last summer to enjoy yourself before you have to work for the rest of your life.” I smiled brightly, willing it to be contagious, but Blake’s shoulders sagged, swiping away my hopes.
“I can’t do that, Angel. He set it up for me. It’s with a friend of his. It would be too much of an embarrassment. I’m sorry.” With his eyes downcast, he looked away.
I wished he had more of a backbone when it came to that man, but we had only been back together for a week. Hopefully, with time, he’d grow stronger. Maybe by summer I could change his mind.
“We’ll see.” I let my own hope shimmer, certain that I could persuade him before the time came.
“Don’t do that.” The warning in his tone was clear as a bell, although I chose to ignore it.
“What?” I feigned innocence.
“That.” He waggled a finger in my face. “All that. Your brain is moving so fast I can smell it burning.”
I laughed fully. “Who are you, Jace? I can’t have all of us in my head.”
“Just calm yourself. I’ll get this over with during the summer, grab the experience I’ll need to look good on my resume, and we’ll still have more than enough time to enjoy ourselves.” He circled my waist with his arms and squeezed.
“Uh-huh,” I agreed in my own noticeably sarcastic tone, tilting my neck toward him to invite a kiss.