Chapter 28
Ella
I slammed my hand down on my alarm, not wanting to move from the warmth of my bed. I was always so damn tired these days, and even though I was going to go watch my favorite little boy, Avery, I wanted to crawl back under the covers and forget the world. I couldn’t, though. I had promised Will, and Avery was so excited to spend time with me. I groaned and pulled myself out of bed before heading straight to the bathroom to pee for the nine-hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours. I swore it was like my bladder was a bottomless pit, filled to the brim with this phantom water I wasn’t drinking. I pulled my robe on and headed out to the kitchen, my mind now focused on the muffins I knew were in there.
When I rounded the corner into the kitchen, Taryn was sitting there, already awake, sipping her coffee. I yawned and smiled, happy to have her sitting there instead of my parents. I grabbed a muffin and a bottle of water and sat down at the table across from her.
“No coffee this morning?” she asked.
“No,” I said, trying to think of an excuse. “I’m just not feeling it. Where are Mom and Dad?”
“Oh, they’re long gone, my friend.” She laughed. “There was a country club meeting this morning, and you know how they are about the club. They were up before the sun, dressed and ready to go. My bedroom is so close to their bathroom that our mother’s constant conversation with Father about the club woke me up. I figured, why waste my vacation even though there is absolutely nothing to do?”
“What about all your friends?”
“Everyone is busy with family stuff today.” She sighed. “They all put it off as long as they could, but since we were all in town from college, their parents wanted to spend time with them. Imagine that, having parents who want to spend time with you. It’s nuts. What about you?”
“I’m watching Avery today for Will,” I said. “It’s his winter break, so Will needed some help. I mean, I have nothing else going on, I love Avery, and I get to spend all day playing board games.”
“Sounds interesting. Of course, I don’t share the same affinity for children that you do, so I would probably just shove him full of Nyquil and set him in front of the television.”
I laughed. “Remind me to never let you babysit my child.”
“So, you want to go out tonight and get wasted and come home making all kinds of obnoxious noises?”
I laughed again. “No. I don’t think so. Not tonight.”
“Okay,” Taryn said, putting down her coffee and staring at me. “I’ve kept my mouth shut long enough. What the hell is going on with you? I mean beyond the Will thing. You’ve been acting so weird lately, and don’t think I didn’t hear you barfing at three in the morning. I feel like there is seriously something going on that is far beyond some mixed feelings for some guy.”
“Taryn, it’s really nothing,” I said, trying to placate her. “I’m fine, really.”
“No, you’re not,” she said. “And I’m your sister. You need to tell me what’s going on. We don’t keep secrets from each other.”
I sighed and slammed my muffin down. “You’re right. We don’t keep secrets from each other, yet here I am with a really big one.”
“What is it?”
“Okay,” I said, taking in a deep breath and sitting up straight. “Here it is. I’m pregnant.”
“Uh, excuse me? Did you just tell me that you’re pregnant?”
“Yep,” I replied. “About three months along.”
“What the hell?” she said in complete shock. “How the hell did this happen? I mean, I know how it happened, but oh my gosh, Ella. Who is the father?”
“It’s Will,” I said unhappily. “I haven’t slept with anyone but him in a long time.”
“I have to admit, this is totally blowing my mind,” Taryn said, shaking her head. “My best friend, and sister, is going to have a baby. Like, there is seriously a small human growing in your stomach right now like Alien. Have you told him yet? Did he freak?”
“No, I haven’t told him yet,” I said. “I mean, I know I need to and everything, but I haven’t. There have been so many bad signs from him lately that I’ve held off. I don’t even know where to start. How do I tell him? Do they make Hallmark cards for that kind of thing? Would it be terrible if I slid a note under his door? I mean, it’s not like he’s going to want this baby. He has a life and hasn’t wanted me to be much of a part of it. I’m terrified of his response. I don’t want my child to have to deal with the shadow of that kind of negativity when growing up.”
“Ella, you’re making assumptions,” she said. “You have no idea what his response will be. He is an amazing father to Avery. What would make you think he would be any different to your child? You’re treating the situation like you’re his impregnated mistress.”
I scoffed. “Sometimes I feel like the mistress even though his wife is dead.”
“Is that you making yourself feel that way or him doing it?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. At first I blamed it all on him, but now that I see him moving forward, I’m starting to think that it was a joint effort. Why I felt threatened by a dead woman, I will never fully understand. But it seems that no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about it, or stop being jealous of the pictures and the memories.”
Just then, my phone started buzzing like crazy on the counter next to me. I looked down at the phone and saw Mom calling. I shook my head and sighed.
“It’s Mom. She must have gotten some really juicy gossip. Hello?” I said.
“Ella, it’s Mom,” she said. “I need you and Taryn to come to the hospital. It’s your father. He’s had a heart attack.”
“We’re on our way,” I said, hanging up the phone and looking at Taryn. “Grab a coat. Dad’s had a heart attack.”
Luckily, the hospital was only a few blocks away, and knowing what kind of traffic there would be, Taryn and I took off on foot for the hospital. All the tiredness, anxiety, and worry about my own situation disappeared as my footsteps hit the pavement. In their place came fear for my father. I had never heard my mother in that kind of a panic before, and I wasn’t even sure what to say. Taryn looked terrified, but we didn’t have time to talk. We just needed to get there.
We jogged through the halls of the hospital, coming up on my father’s room. As we approached, I took in a deep breath, terrified of what we would find. However, as I turned the corner, I stopped and let out the air in my lungs upon seeing my father sitting up in his bed and bossing the nurses around. I grabbed my chest and breathed deeply, trying to calm myself down. I shook my head and laughed. My father was still as brazen and bossy as ever. Even a heart attack couldn’t slow the man down. I half expected him to start in on law school with his IV still hooked in his arm.
“Dad,” Taryn said, hugging him tightly. “What happened?”
“It was a heart attack, though a minor one, luckily,” he said. “My doctor has been telling me for years to take better care of myself.”
“But you’re a stubborn old man,” I said, smiling and walking forward. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay.”
I leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, winking at my sister, who still looked terrified. My heart was slowing down, and I sat on the edge of the bed and talked to Dad further about what had happened. My mother had gone down to the cafeteria to get him some food since he had missed the brunch at the club and was apparently starving to death. When she came back, she was so relieved to see us there.
“I’m so sorry you were alone,” I whispered to my mother. “But he’s going to be okay.”
“Damn right,” he said, lifting his decaf coffee in the air.
“He is,” she said, shaking her head. “But he’s definitely going to have to start eating healthier, exercising, and taking care of himself. He didn’t do it before, so now I’m taking over.”
“Great,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Dear, would you and Taryn do me a favor and give me a few moments alone with Ella?”
“Of course,” my mother said, walking over and kissing me on the forehead. “Don’t let him talk you into sneaking any fried food in here. Come on, Taryn. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”
Taryn shook her head and kissed Dad on the cheek before turning to me and hugging me tightly. She held on for several moments, and I could feel the rapid beating of her heart. This whole situation had taken a toll on her.
“I would wait to tell Dad about the baby,” she whispered in my ear. “He may seem bold, but he’s weak, and maybe you should talk to Will first.”
I nodded my head against her shoulder so that she would understand. She got up and made her way out of the room, leaving me alone with my father for the first time in a while. I had to admit that it felt uncomfortable, even with him in a hospital bed. Close, calm conversation had never come easily to my father and me, and my mom said it was because we were so alike. We were both bold and knowing, and we went after what we wanted with gusto.
“What’s up, Dad?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” he replied. “This heart attack got me thinking. When the pain struck, I was seriously worried that I wasn’t going to see tomorrow, and I didn’t want to leave things the way they were between us. It made me realize what was truly important. I’m not going to badger you about law school anymore. I promise. What is so very important to me, above all else, is that you are happy with the choices you make for your future, no matter what they are. Just graduating from Harvard is a huge deal, and I have the privilege of being the father of the valedictorian. That’s pretty damn impressive. So, I wanted to tell you that I am sorry.”
I sat there for a moment, really taking in what he was saying. I had wanted to hear those words from him for longer than I could remember. Of course, I wished they hadn’t come on the back of a heart attack, obviously, but either way, he was finally saying them. I leaned in and hugged my father tightly.
“Of course I accept your apology, Daddy,” I said. “It scared the hell out of me not knowing if you were all right or not. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”
“Me either, sweetie. Me either,” he whispered, holding me tightly, which was so unlike the pat-hugs I used to get.
Not only did he survive for me, Taryn, and Mom, but little did he know he survived for his grandchild, too.