Chapter 30
Joanna
“I was trying to protect you, damn it.”
I shook my head at Bastian in disbelief. After bringing me close, pushing me away, and then repeating the process, my emotions were screwy. I didn’t know what to believe.
My heart was still pounding from earlier when I had heard someone knock on the front door. I didn’t want to tell Bastian that I had firmly believed it was Sid outside, wanting an answer from me. What’s the difference? Bastian wants an answer, too.
“Protect me how?” I asked coldly. “The last I checked, you told me that everything was fine between us before you left to go back to Salt Lake.”
“Everything is fine between us!” Bastian exclaimed in exasperation. “Really, there is no problem between the two of us. That’s what I thought anyway.”
“Everything was fine until you pushed me away again,” I shot back in a harsh whisper. “You pushed me away, Bastian. I can’t keep doing this back and forth.”
“I was—” He stopped talking abruptly and turned sharply on his heel to study the bookshelf in the guest room. “I know that you don’t understand it right now, but I was just trying to protect you from the things that were going on at the office.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, not ready to believe this excuse yet. I was growing tired of everyone keeping secrets from me to protect me. It only put me in more dangerous situations.
“So cutting me off the payroll was a way to protect me?”
Bastian glanced at me with baffled eyes. “Who told you about that?”
“Sabrina told me,” I said. “She emailed me to let me know that you had asked for me to be removed from the payroll. I took the hint that I had overstayed my welcome.”
“Fuck.” He groaned, rubbing a hand over his rough face. “Everything has gotten so screwed up, Joanna. You have no idea why I asked for that to happen. It didn’t have anything to do with you not being able to work for me anymore. I would’ve asked you to leave Park City if you’d overstayed your welcome.”
“Then why did you cut me out? Please explain it.”
“Because your ex-boyfriend has convinced someone in my office to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against me.”
I reared back in surprise at those words. Sexual harassment charges? Coldness washed over me when I remembered Sid’s words. He had promised to make Bastian’s legal problems go away if I returned to him.
“I took you off the payroll because I hoped it would discourage Sid,” Bastian said. “I thought if he peeked into my office to see you no longer working there, he would stop looking for you around me.”
“Sexual harassment,” I repeated in bafflement. “Who would he convince to file that sort of thing?”
“I don’t know,” he said, sighing. “My lawyer has been navigating this for me. She suggested that it might to do me good if I made it appear like I had cut ties with you. I had no intention of leaving you at all. I was trying to protect you.”
Guilt flooded me then. All of this was because of me, all because I couldn’t find the courage to ask Bastian what was going on.
I reached out to gently grab ahold of Bastian’s cold hands in mine. He let out a pent-up breath when I squeezed them.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions after everything you’ve done for me.”
Bastian lifted one of my hands to kiss the back of my knuckles. A jolt of heat went through me at the feeling of his lips pressed against my skin. I craved something more, but I refused to let my mind go there with my mother sleeping upstairs.
“I need to talk to you about things,” he said. “I’m sorry that I shut you out. Just don’t run out on me again like that. You had me worried sick about everything.”
“I missed you,” I confided with a sigh, stepping into the strong circle of his arms. “I missed having you next to me at night.”
He nuzzled the top of my head. “No more than I missed you being in my bed with me.”
“I have to tell you something,” I said and took a step back to look up at him. “My mother invited Sid over here this morning.”
“She invited him over?”
“Don’t get mad,” I rushed out when I saw the anger dancing in Bastian’s eyes. “My mother has no idea how charming he can be. He charmed her into coming over here.”
Bastian sucked in a deep breath. “Fine. Keep going with what you were saying.”
“He came by here to give me an option. I either go back to him or all your legal troubles keep going on.”
“As in,” Bastian said slowly, “my sexual harassment case?”
I sat down on the edge of the guest bed. The blankets and sheets still smelled of laundry soap. It didn’t matter if my mom didn’t have guests coming in; she always had fresh linens in the guest room just in case.
“I think so,” I said. “He must’ve found someone in the office who’s willing to make up a story against you. I doubt that it’ll actually be pushed through, though. There’s no evidence to back it up.”
“That doesn’t matter. It has the workers’ union harassing me in my office.” Bastian tangled a hand through his hair with a muttered curse. “That prick can’t get the hint, can he? I have more money and pull in this game than he does.”
“It’s not about that to him,” I said. “There’s something else too…”
Bastian looked up at me harshly. “What is it?”
“He’s going to come back tonight for my answer,” I said uneasily. “I don’t know when, or how, but I had hoped he would keep away for another night to give me some space to consider everything.”
“You aren’t actually considering going back to him, are you?” Bastian asked. His voice rose slightly as he looked at me with a mixture of panic and anger. “You can’t go back to him, Joanna. You know what is going to happen if you go back to him?”
I grimaced because I didn’t want to think about it. I already knew what I would be going back to. The first few weeks would be fine, but it would slowly go back to the way it had been before. Joanna, don’t wear that. You look like a slut. You can’t go out because I don’t trust you with all those men out there. You look like you’re asking for it.
“Trust me,” I said painfully, “I know what it would be like, but it’s not worth a relationship with you if he won’t ever leave you alone in the process.”
“He can’t bring me down,” Bastian said firmly. “He can’t do anything to me. I swear to you that he can’t.”
“Bastian—”
He came to sit down on the edge of the bed next to me. One arm wrapped itself around my shoulders while one hand skimmed along my jaw. Tears filled my eyes hotly as I gazed up into the passionate orbs gazing back down at me.
“I meant every word I said when I said that I loved you,” he murmured, tracing my bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. “Don’t ever question that. I don’t care if I have to put my business on the line to have you. Money isn’t worth anything to me at the end of the day if I don’t have you by my side.”
He pressed a hot kiss to my lips. Our lips glided along each other’s hungrily while his tongue slipped through my lips to tangle with mine. A shudder went through me while I ran my hands along his strong shoulders and neck. After a moment of hot kisses, Bastian pulled back with a sigh.
“As much as I’d like this to continue,” he said with a small grin, “we need to stop for now. Do you think Sid is coming back tonight?”
“I’m not sure,” I said breathlessly. “Why?”
“Because you aren’t safe here. If you’re okay with this, please come back to a hotel with me. It’s not anywhere Sid would know to look right away.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek while I weighed those words. Coming back home, I had realized I was further in Sid’s web than when I’d been with Bastian. My heart ached thinking of my mother upstairs asleep in her bed. I could only imagine how she would react if she got up tomorrow morning to find me gone.
“I worry about my mom,” I said. “She has no idea how to deal with Sid. If he comes back here—”
“I can have a driver sit out here,” Bastian offered. “If he sees Sid, then he can call us right away. Unless you text Sid to tell him that you need one more night to think.”
I glanced at the window of the guest room. It was dark out, sheer darkness. The phone was silent. No one had yet knocked on the front door. Sid wasn’t here, and I had to get out before he came back.
“I need to pack,” I said. “If your driver can stay here, that would make me feel better. I’ll leave a note explaining that I left to clear my head.”
Bastian caught me by the chin gently. “And what about Sid?”
“I’ll tell Sid that I need one more night,” I said. “Then we’ll go to his superiors about what is going on. I don’t want to live my life scared of him anymore.”