Chapter 21

Allen

I stayed at the apartment with Brandon, giving them the bedroom while I sat stiffly on the couch with the television on. I wanted her to walk into the apartment and tell me everything was okay. She just got caught up in doing something and forgot to call, but I knew that wasn’t Nicole. I would even be happy with a phone call, but as it crept past two in the morning and infomercials started to play, I knew that he had her.

I tossed and turned on the worn cushions, not caring about the discomfort. I wouldn’t sleep, anyway. I hoped that Noelle was going to get a little sleep, but I doubted it. I just hoped Brandon was consoling her. I was useless and reminded myself that the captain had people looking for her. She would be found but until then, I had a mountain of guilt to deal with.

I was torn between going back to the beginning or worrying about the fact that she was by herself when Ricky broke out of jail. They were both torturous thoughts. I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d left her alone to be auctioned off that she might be safe now. She might have had that night and gone right home and been totally off his radar. I know that any other man might not have been gentle with her as I was, but they might have let her go and not put her in danger.

I felt like shit for doing that to her now. I made her stand out to Ricky, and because of that, he thought that she ratted him out. As usual, mine and Brandon’s involvement wasn’t mentioned in the arrest, and I knew that Nicole wouldn’t tell him about it. Thinking back to our conversation on our last date, I knew that she wanted something with me. I knew that she wanted to work on a relationship with me.

Judging from the night that we spent together after the bar, she wanted me as much as I did her. We couldn’t get enough of each other that night, and I’d considered asking her to move in at once. I didn’t want to be away from her, but I also didn’t want to rush things.

If I had, she might be okay right now. Nicole might be here with us. Ricky probably stalked her before he took her, and he could have found her anyway, and that led me to think back to that first night. I should have just observed what was happening and reported it the same way I played it off to the captain. I’d broken a lot of rules, and it seemed to be kicking me in the ass now.

Fuck. The apartment was too quiet, and I grabbed the remote to find something else on television. The girls just had basic cable, but I found a movie and rubbed my burning eyes.

I knew that I wouldn’t sleep until she was found. I knew that I needed to be able to focus on work and other cases and just live. I knew that Captain Peterson would expect me to work through this since he didn’t know who Nicole was at this point. He knew that I was worried about her by the way I left so fast and demanded someone to search for her once we realized that she was missing. I had Brandon handle things as much as I could to seem like I wasn’t that involved personally but I knew there was a talk coming with my boss.

I dozed off a little in the morning from sheer exhaustion and woke up to someone in the kitchen. I felt like garbage, and I rubbed my eyes as I turned my head.

“Nothing yet?” Brandon asked me softly, and I shook my head.

“They’re looking for her, Allen.”

“I know. How’s Noelle?” I asked softly, and Brandon sighed.

“Every time she falls asleep, she wakes up crying from another nightmare. She’s losing it. I just came out to get her some water and try to get her back to sleep.” I cracked my eyes open to look at him, and Brandon gave me a serious look. “Have you slept at all?”

“Maybe a little bit. I dozed off but I wouldn’t call it good sleep. I’m fucked up, Bran,” I admitted as he nodded.

“They’ll find her, and she’ll be okay. We can kick Ricky’s ass together.” He tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. “Rest up. I’m going to make sure that she’s okay and that she never leaves this apartment again. I don’t trust that asshole.”

“I don’t either. We’ll keep an eye on Noelle,” I murmured as he walked back down the hallway.

The house fell quiet again and the minutes dragged. I tried to watch one of the early morning news programs. I hated the world as I watched the stories and wondered what the fuck I was doing for anyone. I didn’t seem to help Nicole at all and in fact, I felt like I caused all of this.

I finally got up and made some coffee, giving up on sleep when I saw the sun coming up. I poured a cup and drank it sitting on the couch as I stared at the TV, thinking of anything other than what was happening in the world. I could only think about Nicole and how beautiful she was that first night. I’d never forget it, but now, I wish that I’d just gotten the evidence that I needed and walked away. I knew then that I wanted her and still did, but it wasn’t worth all this guilt.

It had to be a couple of hours later than my phone rang, and I jumped as I reached for it. I wanted to see Nicole’s name on the screen but it was the captain calling me.

“Fuck,” I muttered before I answered it. He told me that he wanted to see me at the station immediately, and I sighed. “Let me throw myself together and I’ll be right there. Brandon is going to stay at the apartment and watch over the sister.”

“I’ll bet he is.” The sarcasm was clear in his tone, and I felt anger rising inside of me.

“She’s the sister, and we need to keep her safe. She wouldn’t want to be alone to begin with,” I tried to keep my voice even, but it was rising with every word.

“I’m aware of that fact, Allen. I just want him to stay focused on the job this time.”

“He is. I’ll be there soon.” I ended the call and dropped back against the couch, feeling the pain in my back from the restless night. I was not in a great mood or even functioning properly for this, and I drank the coffee in one swallow and felt it burn my throat.

I decided to go by my house and change into fresh clothes and clean up a bit. I had nothing here. I sent Brandon a text that I had to go to the station and talk to the captain, and he came out to lock the door after me.

“Good luck.” His face was somber, and I nodded silently before walking to the truck.

I drove home and showered quickly before pulling on jeans and a cotton t-shirt, still feeling like I’d been hit by a train. I found some old Cons and slipped them on before I walked out of the house to drive to the station.

It seemed quiet when I walked in and a lot of people stared at me. I suppose they knew about my walk out and assumed that I knew more about the case than I was letting on, but I just stared forward as I walked to the office.

Captain Peterson was sitting behind his computer and glanced at me as his eyes searched my face. “You look like shit.”

“I didn’t sleep much,” I muttered.

He took a long sip of coffee before telling me to get some for myself. I figured his strong-as-fuck brew might do me some good and grudgingly went to get a cup before sitting back down for the interrogation.

“So, we’re still looking but there’s no sign of her now. We have men asking around about Ricky and we’re doing the best we can, but I need to know more about her. How do you know this girl?” I felt like squirming as he looked at me but I kept my cool and yawned.

“I knew her back in high school and saw her outside of the club. I got to talking with her, and Nicole said that she was there for the auction. She didn’t know I was undercover, but I managed to talk her into leaving and I haven’t seen her since. Maybe Ricky thinks that she ratted him out because she left. I’m not sure, but I knew it wasn’t safe there. The men were like a bunch of piranhas, Captain. She’s a sweet kid, and I thought that she deserved better than that.” I shrugged and let the concern pass across my face.

He observed me, looking for the truth. Brandon and I both agreed on this version. It seemed to satisfy the captain as he settled in his chair.

“So, she’s around your age?” he asked.

“Yep.” I nodded and felt worry fill me as I remained calm on the outside. I felt like such an asshole for putting her through this, and I wanted to implore to the captain that they needed to find her.

“I’ll keep them out there. You don’t know what this guy will do to her, being pissed off and making the effort to both escape and find her.” The captain frowned and drank his coffee.

I nodded in agreement as he made some notes and brought up a few more things about the case. I added what I could without falling apart and finished the coffee before I walked outside and lifted my head to the sky.

I needed to know where the fuck she was. I wanted to find Nicole and tell her what she meant to me, never letting her leave my side again. I knew that I was falling for her, and I felt helpless as I stood there, not knowing what the hell to do for her.

I ended up getting some food and taking it back to the apartment. Noelle was still napping and Brandon was pacing the small living room as he talked on the phone to somebody. He looked as bad as I did, making me sympathetic to the fact that he was helping Noelle through a rough night. I know if the roles were switched and she was missing, Nicole would be a mess as well. He ended the call, and I set the bag down on the coffee table.

“I got some lunch. I have no idea what they have in the fridge, and we need to keep ourselves going.”

“How did it go at the station?” Brandon looked at me with his forehead creased, and I sighed.

“I went with the high school story. He seemed to believe it.” I grabbed the large soda that I bought and took a gulp as he nodded. “She feeling better?”

“No. Those two are tight, Allen. They mirror what I’ve felt when you’ve been in danger,” Brandon told me as I nodded somberly.

“I know. I’ve thought the same.”

We sat down and dug into the bag of burgers and fries, eating quietly until a soft voice asked if we’d heard anything.

“Not yet, sweetheart.” Brandon told her as Noelle ran a hand through her messy blonde hair and sighed heavily. “Allen got some food. Come eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” she argued with him as she stood in the hallway, rocking on weakened legs.

“Eat. You need it.” Brandon got up and brought her over to the food.

I agreed with her about not being hungry. My mind knew that it was necessary to eat and I tore a piece of the hamburger and shoved it into my mouth. I hoped that she’d follow my lead.

Noelle sat beside him and picked at the cheeseburger as he kept a close eye on her. Tragedy or not, this woman was changing my friend. I wondered what might happen with them once this was all over and thought that Noelle might need him more than ever if we didn’t find Nicole.