I punched Matt in the shoulder as hard as I could. He went flying back and his cigarette fell out of his mouth.

“Dammit,” he yelled. “What the hell?”

“Good to see you,” I said.

He rubbed his shoulder. “You too.”

“Everyone here?” I asked.

“Waiting on you.”

I slipped my hand into Jordyn’s and led the way to the door. I let her hand go as I started to open it. I didn’t want to enter the house holding her hand and give off the wrong image. Not that I gave a damn what anyone thought, but I didn’t want Jordyn to be in a weird position. Or a position weirder than what was about to happen to her.

The second I stepped into the house, everyone stopped, looked, and cheered for me.

“Hey, he’s here!” Uncle Tom bellowed.

I could tell he was already a drink or two into the night.

I looked over at Aunt Millie, who stood at the stove. She glanced over her shoulder at me, then right at Jordyn. Her eyes went wide. I hoped to everything I had that Aunt Millie wouldn’t attack Jordyn like a new toy. Not in a bad way, but Aunt Millie had this dream of me bringing home twenty kids for her to spoil.

That was part of the problem before…

“He’s brought someone with him,” Doc said.

I slipped my hand to the small of Jordyn’s back.

Aunt Millie wiped her hands on a dish towel and rushed over to us.

She reached up and grabbed my face, forcing me to kiss her.

“Who did you bring?” she asked.

“This is Jordyn,” I said.

“What a pretty name,” Aunt Millie said, setting her sights on Jordyn.

“Nice to meet you,” Jordyn said.

She offered her hand and I shook my head.

Aunt Millie went in for a hug.

Jordyn looked at me with surprised eyes.

I just stood there and smiled.

“So nice to meet you,” Aunt Millie said. “How do you two know each other?”

“I could take a wild guess,” Uncle Tom called out.

He laughed, and so did everyone else.

“He’s not going to make it through the night with comments like that,” I said.

Aunt Millie smacked my arm. “Watch yourself. He’s had a rough week. He’s enjoying himself.”

“Yeah. Enjoying the bottle.”

“So, how did you two meet?” Aunt Millie asked.

She smiled and stared right at Jordyn.

“Aunt Millie…”

“I had a free night and went out for a drink,” Jordyn said.

“Oh,” Aunt Millie said. “He swooned you?”

“Swooned?” I asked.

“No,” Jordyn said. “He punched some guy that wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“You did not,” Aunt Millie said, looking back at me.

“I did,” I said.

“That’s my boy,” Uncle Tom said. “Stand your ground, son.”

“You can’t just go punching people, Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said in a scolding voice. “You’re not a teenager anymore. You could get in serious trouble for that.”

“Oh, jeez,” I said. I leaned down and kissed Aunt Millie’s cheek. “I didn’t get in trouble. I took off. Jordyn came with me. We ran from the cops.”

Aunt Millie gasped.

“We did not,” Jordyn said. She pushed at my arm. “You liar.”

“Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said. “Go sit down.”

“Ah, don’t be mad at me,” I said.

“You know what’s worse than having your aunt mad at you?” Jordyn asked.

“What?”

“Having your aunt and me mad at you,” she said.

“I like this one,” Aunt Millie said. She grabbed Jordyn’s arm. “Come here. Help me finish the sauce.”

I grinned as Jordyn realized that she’d just made a new friend.

Aunt Millie hooked her arm into Jordyn’s and walked her to the stove.

I opened the fridge and got a beer and walked to the table.

Lance, Doc, and Uncle Tom sat there.

Uncle Tom at the head of the table, skipping the courtesy of a glass for his whiskey and drinking right out of the bottle.

I clutched his shoulder and squeezed. “Uncle.”

“Nephew,” he said.

“Doc, Lance,” I said.

“That’s your friend from the bar, huh?” Doc asked.

“Yeah. That a problem?”

“No,” Doc said. “You never bring anyone over here. Must be serious.”

“Not at all,” I said. “Just hanging out.”

“I bet you’ll be hanging out later,” Lance said.

I hit him with an elbow. “Cut that shit. Right now.”

The door opened, and Matt came in.

“Watch this,” I said to Uncle Tom. I waved my hand and coughed. “Christ, Matt, can you take that smoke outside?”

Aunt Millie spun around. “Who’s smoking?”

“Matt,” I said.

“I thought you quit that?” Aunt Millie asked.

“You’re a piece of work, son,” Uncle Tom said with a laugh.

“I did quit,” Matt said. “But, uh, you know, with Mary gone still…”

“Gone? Where?”

“She went to stay with her parents. We’re having problems, Aunt Millie.”

“Oh, don’t say that to me,” Aunt Millie said.

I glanced over at Jordyn as she stood with a wooden spoon, stirring the sauce.

She made a nervous face.

I made the same face and shook my head.

“That will kill you, Matt,” Aunt Millie yelled.

Jordyn mouthed to me what?

I pointed and mouthed back don’t fuck that up.

Her face turned red.

She was fucking… something. Cute? Sexy? All of the above?

“Hey, son, take a breath,” Uncle Tom said.

“What?” I asked, taking my sights off Jordyn.

“Take a breath. You’re all worked up staring at her.”

Lance chuckled.

I walked away from the table. If I hadn’t, I would have knocked Lance on his ass.

Aunt Millie had a rule about fighting.

You didn’t do it until after dinner.

“I’m sorry,” Matt said to Aunt Millie, pleading his case.

As I walked by, she caught hold of my arm. “Do you hear this? What Matt is doing?”

“I know,” I said. “I told him to stop.”

“Oh, come on, Rams,” Matt said. “You smoked too.”

Aunt Millie looked at me. “When did you smoke?”

“When I felt like it,” I said.

“Why would you do that?”

“To look cool,” I said. “To impress pretty girls like Jordyn.”

Aunt Millie looked at Jordyn. “Really?”

“I think it’s gross,” Jordyn said. “That’s why I never talked to him.” She winked for good measure, messing with me.

“See? She’s smart. Pretty and smart.”

“That’s why I like her,” I said. “Now go back to Matt. He’s got to quit smoking.”

“Yes, he does,” Aunt Millie said.

She turned her attention back to Matt and I got away from her.

I walked to Jordyn. “You know, that stuff right there is sacred.”

“I’m not sure I should be the one stirring it then.”

“Here, I’ll do it,” I said.

I touched her hand on purpose and gently moved it away from the spoon.

“So, you like me, huh?” Jordyn asked.

“Oh, darling, I wouldn’t have you here if I didn’t,” I said.

“You pity invited me,” she said.

“That I did.”

She hit my arm. “Jerk.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

“I bet you have,” she said.

“Okay, you two, go sit down,” Aunt Millie ordered.

She clapped her hands.

“Come on,” I whispered as I touched Jordyn’s waist.

We got to the table and we weren’t allowed to touch the food until Aunt Millie had put it all out for us. She had to have everything in a proper order then had to stand there and watch as everyone got a plate of food. If you didn’t take enough, she’d call you out.

I was more than distracted, having Jordyn next to me.

On the table was the best lasagna in the world, along with fresh, handmade breadsticks, homemade spaghetti, a gigantic salad (with bacon), and a large pot of sauce.

Truth was, I could sit there and eat the bread and sauce all night and die a happy man.

That was one thing Aunt Millie did… cook. No matter the trouble I got into or the trouble I caused, there was always food. She could get so mad at me, swat me with a dish towel, even throw a coffee mug or two at me, but at the end of it all, she always made sure to feed me. She knew where I came from and knew there were times when food wasn’t always available to eat.

“Okay, everyone shut up,” Uncle Tom said.

He then pointed to Aunt Millie.

“I know none of you here are religious,” she said.

“I pray a lot,” Lance said.

“Yeah, to keep your job,” Matt said.

“Hey, hey, calm it down,” Uncle Tom said.

“Stop being so damn rude,” I said.

“You’re the worst of them all,” Aunt Millie said.

“I thought you were going to say something nice about this meal,” I said.

“I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for being here tonight,” Aunt Millie said. “I know you’d all rather be drinking at Shammy’s…”

“Never,” Doc said.

“He’s too old to pick up women, that’s why,” I whispered to Jordyn.

“Do you need me to hit him?” she asked Aunt Millie.

“I really like this one,” Aunt Millie said. “And, yes, please hit him.”

Jordyn elbowed me, and I groaned.

“Everyone dig in and eat,” Aunt Millie said. “I hope you all have full stomachs and full hearts.”

“Hear, hear,” Uncle Tom yelled and slapped his whiskey bottle off the table.

Full stomachs and full hearts…

That was Aunt Millie’s favorite saying.

I looked over at Jordyn and saw her staring at her empty plate. The pretty smile on her face had faded.

I reached for her hand and squeezed.

She was missing Sam.

She was a good mother.

A strong woman.

She shouldn’t have been sitting next to me.

* * *

Aunt Millie broke out the wine and she and Jordyn had a couple of glasses together. Uncle Tom and Doc argued over some job from ten years ago that went wrong. Arguing over an invoice that went unpaid from five years ago.

I sat at the table, feeling ready to explode from the food.

I ripped apart another piece of bread and dipped it into the sauce when Aunt Millie wasn’t looking. She had Jordyn in the kitchen, the two of them talking like they had known each other all their lives.

Matt came wandering over from nowhere and sat next to me.

“Okay, let’s hear it,” I said.

“Hear what?”

“Talk to me,” I said. “What’s going on with Mary?”

“Throw her ass to the curb,” Lance said.

“Hey,” Uncle Tom yelled. He clamped a hand onto Lance’s forearm. “You don’t do that to true love. You fight for it.”

My eyes looked right at Jordyn.

Our eyes met for a second.

“It’s not that simple,” Matt said. “We’ve always had issues. I miss her like hell though.”

“Did you do what I said?” I asked. “Talk to her?”

“Yeah.”

“Never stop,” Uncle Tom said. “You show her how much you care. Even if you got lost once before. Happened to me and Millie once.”

“Tom!” Aunt Millie yelled.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “He’s drunk.”

“No, Millie,” Uncle Tom said. “It’s true. There was a time when I left.”

“No shit,” I said. “When?”

“You were younger,” he said, waving a hand.

“Wait,” I said. “I lived here?”

“Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said. “Don’t pay attention to him. Let me get the dessert.”

I stood up. “I don’t remember it.”

“You weren’t around that much, Ramsey,” Uncle Tom said. “Not sure if you remember what it was like with you here.”

“Why’d you leave?” I asked.

“Let them bones rest peacefully,” Doc said.

“Quiet,” I said.

“Son of a bitch, I’ll slap you,” Doc said, words slurred.

“Hey, come on, man,” Matt said. “Sit down.”

“No,” I said. I put my hands to the table and stared at Aunt Millie. “What happened?”

Aunt Millie frowned.

Jordyn looked uncomfortable.

I needed to shut my mouth.

But I couldn’t help it.

“Things were tense, and I walked,” Uncle Tom said. “My back was messed up then too. But I could fight through it. With my magic pills. I took too many of those though. Between that and you, Ramsey, it was a lot.”

“He doesn’t mean it like that,” Aunt Millie said.

“Mean it like what? That I broke up your marriage?” I asked.

“Oh, stop it, Ramsey,” Aunt Millie yelled.

“It was only for a month,” Uncle Tom said. “My point is that I didn’t rush back home. I took care of business. I sent flowers. I wrote letters. I made damn sure I knew what I did wrong and what I needed to change up.”

“Which was what?” Matt asked.

“I got rid of those goddamn pills.”

“Jesus Christ, I didn’t know that,” I said. “Living with me did that.”

“No,” Aunt Millie said. “There were issues. But things are fine.”

“Of course they’re fine,” Uncle Tom said. “Not every relationship or marriage goes without bumps.”

I pushed from the table and walked toward the front door.

“Ramsey!” Aunt Millie called.

“Ah, goddammit,” Uncle Tom said.

I went out on the large front porch and started to pace. Walking end to end.

The right side was the good side to jump off of. The bushes were softer. Easier to slide down and then cut through the neighbor’s yard to get down to the main street to be free and clear for a night of trouble.

Those nights were a lifetime ago for me.

Now I just paced the porch, feeling an angry guilt in my gut.

The front door opened, and Jordyn stepped out. She gently shut the door behind her.

“Sorry about that,” I said.

“Don’t be. Family is tough.”

“No, darling. I’m tough. I did that to them.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s the damn truth.”

“Rams, I don’t know anything about this…”

“You want to know about it? It’s all me. I fucking ruined their lives. They took me in and I fought back against it. Because of my goddamn brother getting killed. It took everything we had away, and I was abandoned. I wanted someone to feel that pain. And I chose them. Fuck.”

I walked to the steps and started to race down them.

Jordyn chased me and touched my shoulder. “Wait… about your brother…”

“No, I’m not doing that tonight. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You already did. The night you took me to the top of town, Rams.”

“Then forget it. Pretend I never did."

I turned and was eye level with her, just like on her porch that one time.

She quickly touched my face. “Don’t let this ruin your night. I’m sure you all can talk about what happened. You heard what your uncle said. It’s not easy to be in a relationship. I know that.”

“I know you do,” I said.

I felt another deep-seated secret churning inside me. One that would make Jordyn walk away and stay away from me for good.

I was too angry to go down that path.

“You don’t know the half of it, darling,” I said.

“Well, let’s figure that out, Rams. I’m here. You’re here. I have a free weekend. So do you.”

“I thought we were just hanging out?”

“You brought me to your aunt’s house. I stirred spaghetti sauce. I ate more carbs tonight than I have in a year. This is hanging out?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

Jordyn leaned toward me. Her hands slipped to the back of my head, nails digging into me. She was playful yet rough, seductive and beautiful in a way that made me want to keep going down the steps to give us some distance before she got hurt.

When her lips grazed mine, I gave her a second to enjoy the moment. Because that’s when I stepped up a step, now taller than her, and my hands wrapped around her curve filled waist, and I lifted her up. She broke the kiss as she gasped, which allowed me to kiss her then. I walked her to the door and stood there, kissing her like it was goodnight until two weekends from now.

“Rams,” she said in between kisses. “You need to…” More kissing. “… you need to go back…” I couldn’t get enough of kissing her. “… back inside…”

I put her on her feet and reached for the door.

I looked down at my feet.

“Darling, you’re going to get hurt near me,” I whispered. “This was a mistake bringing you here tonight. You can’t fall in love with what you see.”

“Try me then,” she said. She touched my arm. “I would never do anything to hurt my son, Rams. But I like being near you. So, anything you have to say or do, say it or do it.”

I turned my head. “You have no idea what you’re getting into then. I ruined their lives in there. I almost cost them their marriage. The greatest love I’ve ever witnessed in my life. A love that I compare everything to. A love I tried…” I held back again. I opened the door. “After you, Jordyn.”

She grabbed my arm now, those claws digging at me in a fierce way. “I know what it’s like, Rams. To feel hurt, lost, and alone. How do you think I feel every single day of my life?”

I wasn’t sure if it was the wine talking or what, but I wasn’t going to stop her.

“Tell me, darling.”

“I feel… hurt, lost. And alone. You have people in there that love you. Who cares what happened in the past? Make now matter. And whether it means something or not, you have me here. I can’t be what you probably want, but I’m here right now.”

“So, we’re completely fucked up for each other and yet we’re here, together?”

“It looks that way.”

I shook my head as she walked into the house.

Her words echoed in my mind… who cares about what happened in the past?

I spoke the answer in my mind.

‘You will, Jordyn. Trust me… you will.’

* * *

Aunt Millie handed me a large container with a purple lid. She put her pointer finger on the lid and stared up at me with intense eyes.

“This comes back to me.”

“Of course,” I said. “If I don’t bring it back, you won’t fill it up again.”

“Such a smart boy,” she said and patted my cheek. “And, Ramsey, please don’t listen to your uncle…”

“It’s fine,” I said, swallowing some hard pride. “I shouldn’t have let that get to me.”

“It was a hard time for all of us,” Aunt Millie said. “You understand that, right?”

“Of course I do, Aunt Millie,” I said. “I just never wanted to hurt your marriage.”

“You didn’t,” she said. Her eyes became glossy. “Your uncle is a damn fool, but he’s right. The way things go up and down in life. You need to remember that. It’s not always perfect.”

She quickly moved her attention to Jordyn.

“And to our new guest,” she said. “Oh, what a night to be here.”

“It was wonderful,” Jordyn said. “The food. The conversation.”

“You don’t think we’re all crazy, do you?”

“No,” Jordyn said. “I don’t have much family myself, so I appreciate being here.”

“You’re welcome here anytime you’d like.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“I want to tell you both something,” Aunt Millie said, backing up an inch or two.

“Oh, don’t…”

I didn’t get embarrassed. But standing there with a container of food, next to Jordyn, with the look in Aunt Millie’s eyes, it was as close as I could get.

“Life is something that people consider to be a game,” she said. “Look at Doc. Working all the time. Never enjoying anything else. Lance just floating along like a raft on a river. And poor Matt, clinging to a love that may have ended a long time ago. Even your uncle and I. What we’ve always done is just trust each other and give each other the chance to live life. And if how I live life meets up with the way he does, then it was meant to be.”

“Until I got involved,” I said.

“Ramsey,” Jordyn said with an elbow.

“Keep him in line,” Aunt Millie said to Jordyn.

“I’ll try my best,” she said.

I stepped toward Aunt Millie and put the food down on the counter. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight.

She was a good person. The one who took me off the streets and gave me a home. Even when I refused to have a home. I put them all through hell and they were still standing. Not even a single burn mark remained.

Everywhere I went, I left my mark it seemed. A trail of frustration, broken hearts, and those left in the dust of the storm that everyone called Rams.

Which made me wonder, what exactly was I doing with a woman who had a kid. Jordyn had enough to deal with in her life.

Aunt Millie walked us to the door and I walked Jordyn to my truck.

I made sure to tuck the food safely into the back seat, so nothing would get ruined or wasted.

Aunt Millie stood at the sink, staring out the window.

“She used to stand there, waiting for me to come home,” I said. “Never knowing what I was doing. Or how to stop me from doing it. Never giving up on me either.”

“That’s good,” Jordyn said. “You shouldn’t be afraid of being loved, Rams.”

“Who said I was?” I asked.

I looked at Jordyn.

She swallowed hard.

“I didn’t… I mean…”

I started to back away from the house.

Dealing with the past, no matter how big or small, always left a bad taste in my mouth. Uncle Tom getting a little loaded and talking about him and Aunt Millie splitting up bothered me.

“Rams, whatever happened tonight…”

I looked at her. “Your place or mine?”

“What?”

“I’m not done with tonight yet, darling. I’m not ready to let you slide away just yet. So, pick a place.”

Her eyes were wide. “It doesn’t…”

“I’m probably the wrong person for you, Jordyn. And maybe you’re the wrong person for me. The way our lives are. But having this time together, I can’t get enough.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“So, pick a place, darling.”

“My place,” she said, her voice cracking a little.

“Your place it is,” I whispered.

Jordyn was the only distraction I had right then. The only way to let the truth of tonight ease to the back of my mind. The only way to keep everything from the past coming forward.

The road was dark in front of me.

The road was dark everywhere around me.