I know what you’re thinking. That this all must be crazy to imagine. How fast and twisted our lives can get. How one second and one look can change everything in the world you’ve built on your own. But when that happens, and you believe in it, you now have someone to walk with on a new path.

One day soon we’ll look back on today and know it was the start of our family. Everything we’ve ever wanted to build. Right from this exact moment.

Your thoughts on family are built from a dark place. I saw you in that dark place. I went there with you so many times. Knowing where it would get us. I believed in that, Ramsey. I really did. And here we are today, finally away from that darkness.

I promised myself I wouldn’t write something cliché and filled with random poetic lines of garbage. You’re worth more than that. I’m looking you right in the eyes as I speak these words. Words I’ve written so many times, over and over, finding a way to say it differently. But nothing should be different right now. It should all be from the heart. And from the heart, it’s us. It’s what we’re going to build next. You know what I want. You know what I desire. It goes beyond the look in our eyes. It goes beyond our future.

It goes…

I put my head into the shower and let the heat and the sound of the water wash away the thoughts. There were times when everything played out moment by moment, as though my heart and mind wanted to force myself to face everything that went right, and wrong, and find a way to make sure it would never happen again.

The simple solution for that was to not fall for anyone ever again.

Except now I was too close to Jordyn.

And I couldn’t get away. I didn’t want to get away.

The second I saw her sitting alone at the bar, it just did something to my heart that I never thought possible again. And no matter what happened between us, or her life or my life, that feeling only grew.

Now things were taking another turn.

Aunt Millie insisted on cooking dinner for us. Us being myself, Jordyn, and Sam.

That one extra step forward into me falling harder for Jordyn. Which meant getting closer to Sam. And that left me wondering exactly how Jordyn felt about that and what her boundaries were.

But she knew there was no getting Aunt Millie to back down. She insisted on cooking a big dinner and having Sam be there. She was too excited about it, but it was well known why. There were no kids around. Her heart forever beat with hope to become a mother and grandmother. And all she got was me. A kid that almost ruined her life. A kid that became a man who ruined what could have been a good marriage and family.

After I showered and dressed, I drove to pick up Jordyn.

The whole every other weekend notion seemed to have been thrown out. Which wasn’t the worst thing to have happened. We were free to be with each other, which gave us each the chance to challenge how we felt and where things were going.

She opened the door, wearing a black sundress with red and brown flowers on it. Not wearing any shoes, her hair down, tucked behind her ears, little holes in her ears for earrings but she wasn’t wearing any. Not a drop of makeup on her face either.

The most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Enough that it made me reach for the doorway to make sure I could keep my balance. It took a lot to bring a guy like me down. Punches, a beer bottle over the head, that wouldn’t do it. But the stare from Jordyn’s honey eyes wearing that dress…

“Wow, darling,” I said. “You look amazing.”

“No, I don’t,” she said. “It’s an old dress. I don’t have that many nice clothes.”

“Don’t ever say that,” I said. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward me. “You look fucking beautiful right now. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Jordyn shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t want to upset your aunt.”

“Right,” I said. “She’s going to go crazy over you and Sam. Just be warned now.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. That’s up to you. She’s dreamed of this.”

“You bringing home a struggling, single mother?”

“No, darling, not that. A bigger family.”

“Family,” Jordyn said. “Well, then we both get something we want. Which is the same thing. It’s not like we have anywhere to go for the holidays, you know? We usually just float around friends’ houses.”

“You never have to worry about that again,” I said. “Aunt Millie is going to love Sam. And Uncle Tom will try to intimidate him. Feel free to give him a smack to the back of the head.”

“Are you nervous about this?”

“Me? No.”

“I think you’re lying to me, Rams.”

“Not even close, darling. I would never lie to you. You’re too pretty.”

Jordyn threw her head back and laughed. She pushed off my chest and turned to walk through the living room. I stepped into the house, my eyes locked onto her ass. I couldn’t wait to get the chance to tear that black sundress off her later. I’d make it so-

“Hey, Rams,” a little voice said.

I turned my head and looked down to see Sam sitting on the bottom step, wrestling to get his foot into a light-up character shoe.

“Hey, dude,” I said. “Hope you’re hungry.”

He shrugged his shoulders.

I crouched and asked, “Are you nervous?”

“A little.”

“Don’t be. My Aunt Millie makes the best food in the world. And I may have tipped her off that you really like chicken nuggets and mac ‘n’ cheese.”

“Really?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. Oh, and apple juice, right?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Did you pack toys?”

“No. Mom said-”

“Pack some toys. This isn’t a fancy restaurant. You should enjoy yourself.”

“Okay,” Sam said.

I stood and turned to find Jordyn standing a few feet from me. My instinct was to take her, have her, do whatever my heart desired with and for her.

“Hope you don’t mind,” I said as I touched her arms, “but I told Sam to bring some toys. Trust me, it’s okay. I don’t want him to get bored.”

“That’s fine, I guess,” Jordyn said. “I just don’t want to look like a mother who can’t control her son.”

“Never,” I said. “You need to let all of that go, right now. This place… this is home to anyone who needs a home.”

“I’ve been there,” she said. “I know that.”

“Good.”

“Did you really tell your aunt to make food for Sam?”

“Of course I did,” I said. “He has to eat. And if he’s picky, then so what?”

She swallowed hard. “That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Well, then you’ve obviously been with the wrong person.”

Jordyn rolled her eyes. “Breaking news.”

“You both deserve to enjoy your lives,” I said.

“I think I’m liking you a lot, Rams.”

She moved to her toes and kissed my chin.

The look in her eyes as she did was something else. A look I had never seen before.

She left me standing there and I couldn’t move for a few seconds.

I was in love with her.

* * *

Aunt Millie tore open the door wearing a frilly apron around her waist. Her hair was extra puffy, and she wore her favorite light blue button-down shirt. She clapped her hands together and let out a shriek of happiness when she saw Sam. I watched as Sam inched closer to Jordyn’s leg.

I took the liberty of entering the house before everyone else and whispered to Aunt Millie, “Try to take it easy for a second here…”

“Well, you two come in, right now,” Aunt Millie ordered. She waved her right hand at Jordyn. “Come here, doll. Come to me.”

Jordyn put a hand to Sam’s back and led the way.

Aunt Millie wrapped her arms around Jordyn and hugged her tight.

I backed up and watched Jordyn’s cheeks turn red.

When Aunt Millie broke the hug, she bent her knees and went eye level with Sam.

“And you must be Sam,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Chicken nuggets. Mac ‘n’ cheese. Cars. Trucks. You’re a busy guy, huh?”

Sam just stared.

“Say hello, Sam,” Jordyn said. “Don’t be rude.”

“Oh, hardly,” Aunt Millie said. “We’re just talking.”

“We don’t have much family,” Jordyn said. “So this is…”

“Well, there’s no worry about that anymore,” Aunt Millie said. “Hey, Sam, have you ever heard the story of the boy who ate dessert before dinner?”

“No,” Sam said.

“Oh, that’s a good story,” I said. “Come here, dude. I want you to meet Uncle Tom. He’ll tell you about it.”

To my surprise, Sam moved away from his mother and came to me. Aunt Millie quickly swept Jordyn toward the oven to talk about her famous baked whole chickens.

Uncle Tom sat at the table, enjoying a beer. When he saw Sam, he turned his chair and leaned forward. With his big belly pressing against his flannel shirt, his unkempt black and gray beard, and his big and wisdom full looking eyes, Uncle Tom looked like a lumberjack character out of a cartoon.

“Good evening, Sam,” Uncle Tom said. He offered his hand.

“You can shake his hand,” I said to Sam.

Sam shook Uncle Tom’s hand.

“He wants to hear the story of the boy who ate dessert before dinner,” I said.

“Ah,” Uncle Tom said. “You’ve never heard that story?”

“No,” Sam said.

“Well, there was this boy. About your age. And he wanted nothing more than a cookie before dinner. And everyone told him no. But he kept asking. And asking. And asking.” Uncle Tom leaned toward Sam. “Do you know want happened then?”

“No,” Sam said.

“He finally got that cookie. Before dinner. And this is the most important part of the story, Sam. Do you want to know what happened to that little boy?”

Sam nodded, looking intently at Uncle Tom.

Uncle Tom gently touched Sam’s shoulder. “He ate the cookie. Then a second. And then…” Uncle Tom sighed for dramatic effect. “He was happy.”

Uncle Tom smiled big.

Sam looked up at me.

“I know, dude,” I said. “The stories are bad. But the food is great.”

“Sam, come over here,” Aunt Millie called out.

I walked Sam back to the kitchen where she had two chocolate chip cookies for him. That got Sam’s face to lighten up quite a bit.

“Do I get a cookie?” I asked.

Aunt Millie swatted at my arm. “You’ll spoil your appetite.”

Jordyn laughed at me.

“Hey,” I said. “When have I ever not eaten dinner?”

“That’s a good point,” Aunt Millie said. “I thought we were going to have to take out a second mortgage on the house to feed this creature.”

“I was a growing boy,” I said. I lifted my left arm and flexed. “Still am.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Aunt Millie said. She looked down at Sam. “Go grab a seat at the table, Sam. Enjoy your cookies.”

“What can I help with?” I asked as Jordyn took Sam to the table.

“Carry the pan to the table for me, Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said. “My wrists have been sore lately.”

“Sore?”

“Seasonal,” she said. “Happens all the time.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, Ramsey,” she said.

Arguing medical stuff with Aunt Millie was useless. She believed garlic healed everything. Her chicken soup was her version of antibiotics. And there was nothing a cool washcloth or a warm towel couldn’t heal either. And if things were bad enough, a shot of whiskey could take care of that too.

I took the giant roaster pan out of the oven and as I walked to the table, I paused.

Aunt Millie stood behind Jordyn and Sam. She was pointing everything out on the table as though nobody knew what food was. She was happy. Jordyn was smiling. Sam sat, his chest barely above the table, a giant plate in front of him. It made me wonder when the last time was that they had a big meal like this.

Then there was Uncle Tom, forever in the same seat, at the same table, with the same beer, with a different look on his face. Knowing this was what Aunt Millie always wanted. A family dinner.

It wasn’t exactly the perfect situation, but looking at Jordyn and Sam…

They were perfect.

* * *

There was a loud slam and Jordyn whipped her head around. “Sammy. Please be careful.”

“Ah, he’s fine,” Uncle Tom said. “Just a boy being a boy. He can’t break anything in there.”

“That’s Tom’s study,” Aunt Millie said with air quotes.

“I plan on using that room someday,” Uncle Tom said.

“Yeah, right,” I said with a laugh.

“Hell, if I could just retire…”

“You can retire anytime you want,” I said.

“Yeah, right,” Uncle Tom said in a mocking voice.

“He’s fine in there,” Aunt Millie said, touching Jordyn’s arm. “Let him make a mess. Nothing I haven’t cleaned up before with Ramsey.”

“You played with trucks and cars when you were a teenager?” Jordyn asked me with a smile.

“Yeah,” I said. “I was a sheltered boy.”

Uncle Tom let out an obnoxious ha! and took a gulp of his fresh beer.

“So, tell us everything about Sam,” Aunt Millie said. “He’s adorable, Jordyn. Looks just like you.”

“Really?” she asked. “A lot of people say he looks like his father.”

The conversation was bound to take an uncomfortable turn with reality forever creeping in.

“Well, I think he looks like you,” Aunt Millie said. “Did his father…”

“Aunt Millie,” I said. I shook my head.

“What?” she asked. “I’m just asking questions.”

“It’s okay,” Jordyn said. “Things just didn’t work out. That’s all.”

“Is he good to his son?” Uncle Tom asked.

“Jesus, both of you,” I said.

“Honestly, it’s fine,” Jordyn said. “Things are complicated. A mess, actually.”

“Jordyn works her ass off for that boy,” I said. “She works two jobs. She has her own place. Sam has a great life because of her.”

“Well, any man that would take advantage of your love deserves a kick to the ass,” Uncle Tom said.

Jordyn’s cheeks turned red. “Thank you.”

“You’re a strong woman,” Aunt Millie said. “And believe me, I get how things are now. I don’t know what makes it happen the way it does. But you are very strong.”

Jordyn shifted in her chair. Sam let out a playful yell and commanded some guy named Johnny to drive faster to escape the bad guy.

“He’s a great kid,” I said.

“Seems that way,” Uncle Tom said. “Usually kids his age are little shitheads.”

“Tom!” Aunt Millie yelled.

“What? They are. Parents letting kids run their lives. Never. Not in my day.”

“To be fair, in your day, I’m pretty sure kids were worried about dinosaurs attacking them.”

“Smart ass,” Uncle Tom said.

“Where do you work?” Aunt Millie asked Jordyn.

“Bicker’s. The real estate company…”

“I told you this already, Millie,” Uncle Tom said. “The pretty girl at the desk.”

“That’s you?” Aunt Millie asked. “I think my husband likes you.”

“Do we have a problem here?” I asked, looking at Uncle Tom.

It took a lot for him to get flustered, but he quickly pushed back in his chair and stood up. “Oh, to hell with all of you.”

We all started to laugh, and Uncle Tom went into the so-called study with Sam.

“Don’t mind him,” Aunt Millie said. “He’s like a big teddy bear.”

“I can see that,” Jordyn said.

“What does that make me then?” I asked.

“You’re still a nasty grizzly bear, Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said. “Never could shake your attitude.”

“I learned from the best,” I said.

“I think I learned it from you,” Aunt Millie said.

“Thank you for this dinner,” Jordyn said. “This has been amazing.”

“What’s your plan for Thanksgiving this year?” Aunt Millie asked.

“Uh…”

“Why are you making plans now?” I asked.

“You realize how close it is, right?” Aunt Millie asked. “I want Jordyn and Sam to be here.”

“That’s so nice of you,” Jordyn said. “But that’s a family day. I couldn’t…”

“You’ve seen this table,” Aunt Millie said. “Family isn’t just by blood. Plus, I can see things.”

“See things?” I asked.

“The way you look at her,” Aunt Millie said. She smiled and stood up. “I normally wouldn’t like that look. But I like you, Jordyn. And if he’s giving you that look, then you’re going to need all the family you can get. These men are hardened. But if you get to their hearts, they’re as soft as butter on a warm stove.”

I watched Aunt Millie walk to the kitchen.

Jordyn turned her head and looked at me.

“Calling base, calling base,” Uncle Tom’s voice said. “I need help.”

We both looked into the so-called study.

Uncle Tom was on his knees, playing cars and trucks with Sam.

“I’ve never seen him do that,” I said to Jordyn. “By the time I got here I was a miserable asshole of a teenager.”

“Now you’re the same, just an adult,” Jordyn teased.

“Very funny.”

“It’s good to see,” she said. “He’s never had that before. Any of this, Rams. It’s almost too much to comprehend.”

I touched her hand. “You should embrace it a little, darling.”

She looked at me and looked almost ready to cry.

I leaned in to kiss her just as Aunt Millie announced that dessert was ready.

I had to laugh.

This was the closest to a real family I had ever experienced in my life.

* * *

I kissed Jordyn like we were saying goodbye for a year. Her back was against a pillar at the edge of the back patio. A strand of white lights was the only light we had. My hand cupped her face as I tasted her lips, flirted with her tongue, and had to show restraint as the need to take her was growing by the second.

I broke the kiss and let out a deep breath.

The door behind us opened and Aunt Millie came outside to join us.

“Nice night out here,” she said, looking around.

“It’s perfect,” I said.

“What are you two doing out here?” Aunt Millie asked.

“Jordyn was having a cigarette,” I said.

“What? No.” She slapped my arm. “Jerk.”

“I’m only kidding,” I said.

Aunt Millie shook her head. “I’m sorry about him. I tried my best with what I had to work with.”

“Then I feel sorry for you,” Jordyn said. “And yet, you pulled off a miracle.”

“I always tell her she’s a saint,” I said.

Aunt Millie laughed. “I don’t know how I did. And still do it with your uncle, Ramsey. But I did it. I’m just happy you’re happy. After everything that happened…”

“Don’t talk about the past,” I said, feeling a slight bit of unease go through my body.

“I’m going to go check on Sam,” Jordyn said. “Start to pack him up.”

“Hope you’ll be back again,” Aunt Millie said. “Thanksgiving is creeping close.”

“Give it a rest,” I said.

“You can go somewhere else, Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said. “I want Jordyn and Sam here.”

“Replaced,” Jordyn said with a sly grin.

“Wow, she fell for you faster than I did,” I said with a wink.

Jordyn gasped and smiled as she walked toward the house.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Not until she shut the door.

That’s when I exhaled a long breath.

“You’re in love with that one, aren’t you?” Aunt Millie asked.

“Trying to figure it out,” I said. “It’s a tough situation.”

“You’ve been in tough situations before,” she said. “You usually cause them.”

“Thanks for that,” I said.

Aunt Millie touched my back. “Just don’t hurt her. Especially her. She has a son.”

“I know that, Aunt Millie. That’s why we’ve been taking it slow.”

“Slow? Since when do you do slow?”

I looked at her, ready to defend myself. Tell her that Jordyn and I were only together on the weekends Sam was gone with his father. But then everything started to hit me hard. I had spent how many days bringing her coffee during the week… just to see her, even for five minutes. And going to meet Sam. Helping her when her car wouldn’t start when Sam needed to go to the hospital. Then sleeping at her place. Waking up that next morning and making breakfast with Sam. And now spending the weekend with Jordyn when Sam was home.

“Wow, you’re speechless,” Aunt Millie said. “Have you met a woman that can finally shut you up?”

“Maybe I have,” I said.

“Well, I think she’s perfect. She’s probably too good for you. And I swear, Ramsey, if you do anything to hurt that little boy’s heart…”

“I would never do that,” I said. “I’ve done some crappy things, but I would never do that. Not after seeing what his father does.”

“Is it bad?”

“It’s not good. It’s hard to stay out of it. But it’s not my place.”

“Just don’t go punching him or anything,” she said.

“Me? Punch someone?”

She swatted my arm. “Smart mouth.”

“See where I get it from then?” I asked, laughing. “Thank you for dinner. And thank you for letting Jordyn and Sam in. They don’t have anyone. Family, I mean.”

“They’re always welcome here.”

“You say that to everyone.”

“Everyone is welcome here,” she said. “Life isn’t supposed to be easy or fun all the time, Ramsey. You’ve been through a lot in your life. So have I. Your uncle. Everyone that sits at our table. Jordyn. Sam. Even Sam’s father, I bet. Sometimes we do dumb stuff.” She raised an eyebrow and looked right at me. “But if we can sit at the table and forget about our troubles and just be there, over a hot plate of food, and laugh, then it’s worth everything in life.”

I smiled. “You’re too good for everyone.”

“Face it, Ramsey, the ones worth keeping are usually too good for yourself.”

Aunt Millie walked to the door and left me hanging with those last words. Which she was famous for doing.

She opened the door and I saw Sam standing there. Aunt Millie squealed his name and my heart tightened a little bit more.

Jordyn appeared in the doorway and stared at me.

We didn’t need to say a word to each other.

Yet at some point we had to say it. We had to say what we were both thinking. The one thing that would change our relationship even more. Something I hadn’t said in a long time. Something I swore I’d never say again.

I love you.

* * *

“Are you sure it’s not too late?” I asked Jordyn.

“It’s the weekend,” she said. “You have a couch, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Pillows? Blankets?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Then we’re fine,” she said.

We held hands. Sam sat in the back seat of my truck, holding a couple of cars in his hand. He had his bag of toys next to him on the seat.

Jordyn wanted to see my house. And I couldn’t say no to that or to her.

Aunt Millie and Uncle Tom sugared up Sam and left him to us, which was to be expected. Aunt Millie gave out a hundred hugs and a hundred and one kisses. Uncle Tom pulled me in tight for a hug and told me not to fuck things up with Jordyn.

When they said that kind of stuff, I just had to take it on the chin. Because my track record wasn’t exactly clean.

As I turned into the driveway to the old country style house, I felt my heart jump a little. There was a romantic notion buried in the back of my mind about this house. What I intended to do to it and with it.

“It’s a dump,” I said to Jordyn.

“No, it’s not,” she said.

“It’s dark out. You can’t see it.”

“I can see it,” she said.

“It was a fixer upper project,” I said. “I thought it was good for me at the time. But that didn’t work out.”

“At the time?” Jordyn asked, looking at me.

“Let’s get inside first,” I said.

I led the way to the house. I had to warn them to watch their step on the third step up on the porch. It was old and rotted and wobbly. Every time I stepped on the step and it moved, I reminded myself to fix it. I never fixed it.

The entrance to the house had a large foyer with the main steps off to the right. They turned three times to get upstairs and the woodwork along the railing and the landing was all custom. It just needed to be touched up with fresh stain. Along the steps were stained glass windows. At first, they seemed dated and ugly, but whoever built the house knew what they were doing.

I pointed to the windows and said, “They look ugly, but the sun in the morning hits them. And it spreads color across the foyer and into the living room.”

“That must look beautiful,” Jordyn said. “This house is gorgeous.”

I laughed.

Some of the walls still had old wallpaper on them, with the corners slightly curled. There were pocket doors from the living room into the formal dining room. The archways were all custom wood, again, just needing touch-up work.

I gave the two-minute tour of the downstairs and watched the way Jordyn’s eyes lit up with each room. Everything I saw that was shit, she saw as beauty. Every flaw I pointed out that needed work, she saw something that needed just a little attention.

The most important room to Sam was the living room. I got him set up on the couch with a blanket and a pillow. With his favorite stuffed animal tucked under his left arm and the remote to the TV in his right hand, he was the king of the house.

Jordyn kissed the top of his head and told him to close his eyes if he got tired.

I motioned for the kitchen and there, I opened the fridge. “I’ve got milk, beer, and water. Possibly some orange juice, but I’m not exactly sure how old that is.”

Jordyn laughed. “How about water?”

“I can make that happen,” I said.

I got us each a glass of water and took Jordyn to the back deck.

It was chilly outside, but the air had a crispness to it that reeked of fall. It amazed me how in fall everything was about death and dying, yet so many people enjoyed it. The smell of the wet ground, wet leaves, dead leaves.

“This is amazing out here,” Jordyn said. “I mean this house…”

“In the summer you can stand here and watch fireflies,” I said. “It’s like the entire backyard lights up. Just flickering lights. Over and over.”

“So, dare I ask the million-dollar question?” Jordyn asked.

“What’s that?”

“Why did you buy this house if you’re…”

“Alone?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said.

That was my moment to confess everything to Jordyn.

I left my glass on the railing and walked to her. I took her glass out of her hand and placed it on the table. The back porch light was off. The only light was coming from inside the house. My hands touched her face and I swallowed hard.

“Darling… I love you,” I said. “I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to say right now. I don’t know what we are. Or what we’re doing. Or where this is going. But I can’t help how I feel and I can’t hold it back any longer. I love you. And everything in your life.”

I gently kissed her lips and backed away. Jordyn quickly dug her nails into my forearms.

“Rams…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m in love with you, too.”