The event was a wedding and that only meant that Ramsey was fresh in my mind the entire night. Which was crazy to even tie Ramsey to the thought of a wedding. I still wasn’t exactly sure what had happened over the phone with him. There had been other times in my life when a date turned into nothing more than a one-night fling. Which was, in all honesty, fitting for my personal life. But I never let someone come back to my house. I never let anyone inside. I never let anyone take me in my own bed.

And I never asked someone to stay.

I wanted to know what was holding him back, but in a way the truth worried me. Ramsey would have to live second to Sam. Nothing could take away the importance of Sam in my life or where our life was going.

Maybe Ramsey knew that. Maybe he didn’t want to put himself in the middle… or put me in the middle…

“Hey, are you alive or what?”

Marie nudged my elbow as she walked by with a large tray of leftover food.

I blinked fast. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”

“We all are,” she called out as she kicked open the kitchen door.

The music was gone now. The stage empty from the DJ. Just a house drum set tucked away in a corner in pieces. The dance floor was empty too, where just an hour ago, everyone had been there, dancing, jumping, singing, wishing the new bride and groom the happiest of forevers.

It was myself, Marie, Alison, and three other girls working the wedding. The three other girls were teenagers and were told to go home at eleven. That meant the bulk of the cleanup was left for the rest of us. This whole thing was what I did best. And I was good at it. But in some ways, it was like a knife in my heart. I had my own small catering business at one time in my life. And I was good at it. It worked. That business went to the wayside when I decided to leave Keith.

I checked my phone and there were no calls or texts.

That was a good sign. That meant Sam was enjoying himself. Even if it did sting a little that Sam didn’t want to talk to me.

I rolled up all of the tablecloths and took them into the kitchen to be cleaned.

The three of us moved like a machine.

When we finished up for the night, Alison handed out the money and told Marie and I to leave. She was going to finish up the paperwork and important stuff that had nothing to do with us.

Outside, Marie lit up a cigarette and hugged herself. She took a drag and exhaled. “Getting colder.”

“It’ll keep getting colder,” I said.

“Can’t believe Halloween is next week.”

“Just wait,” I said. “You know the day after Halloween officially starts Christmas season.”

“Make me gag,” Marie said. “I have three kids to shop for and no help.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “This time of the year can get stressful.”

“Yeah. And it’s always played off as such a happy and fun time. Screw that. Bury yourself in debt for one stupid day.”

“Well, make sure you get as many shifts as you can here,” I said.

“I’ll be fine,” Marie said. She took another drag. “I’m just bitching. He leaves me for someone else. Refuses to see his kids. But this new woman has a son. Then I see pictures of him with this kid, fishing. Because we had three girls, that’s my fault?”

“That’s terrible, Marie,” I said. “He sounds like an ass.”

“Just like yours, huh?”

“I think we both got screwed in that department.”

“You were smart enough to stop after one kid,” she said. “I kept going. Thinking he was going to change. Thinking a family would fix things.”

“You love your kids though.”

“Of course I do. I just feel bad for the life they have.”

“Don’t,” I said. “As long as you show them love, that’s what they’ll remember.”

“How sweet. You must be all caught up in the wedding high.” Marie winked at me.

“Stop. I focused on work.”

“No, you didn’t. I’ve never seen you so distracted, Jordyn. You were locked onto that bride and groom like you knew the guy. Wait, did you know him?”

“The groom? No. No clue who they were.”

“Okay. The way you were staring…”

I bit my lip for a second. “I’ve just had stuff going on.”

“A guy?”

“Maybe.”

“Good for you.”

“Not really. It’s not the easiest thing. Single mom.”

“Try having three kids.”

“How do you do it?”

“I don’t,” Marie said. “I manage when I can. I keep it clear of all situations and that’s that.”

“So, one-night dates and nothing else?”

“I manage when I can,” she said again with a grin.

That didn’t help me much. Not that it was supposed to.

This wasn’t anyone else’s business but my own. And Ramsey’s. Then again, was it even that? He was some good-looking guy that bailed me out one night at a bar. Where did I think that was going to actually lead?

“I’m heading home,” I said. “To get some sleep and enjoy Sunday before Sam gets back from Keith’s.”

“Enjoy. Call your boy toy for a little fun.”

“Sorry I said anything,” I said as I walked away.

Ramsey wasn’t a boy toy to me. That wasn’t something I wanted in my life. And if I did, there were ways for that to happen.

I drove home to my empty house and realized something scary.

I was missing Sam like I always did… but I was also missing Ramsey.

* * *

Sam came charging up the steps and stuck his thumb up in the air. “Look, Mom!”

I saw an adult sized band-aid wrapped around his thumb, looking awkward and bulky.

“What happened?” I asked.

“I cut my thumb off carving the pumpkin with Dad!”

Sam was excited.

Me, not so much.

I looked out to the curb and saw Keith sitting in his car.

I pointed to my thumb and shrugged my shoulders.

Keith waved at me.

I shook my head.

He waved for me to come to him.

My blood was already starting to boil.

God forbid he got out of his car and walked his son to the door. Or came to talk to me. Amazing how you’d think I did something horribly wrong to him when he was the one who self-destructed and pushed everyone in his life away.

“I’ll be right back, Sammy,” I said.

I didn’t have a coat on, so I rubbed my arms as I walked toward Keith’s car.

“Let me have it,” he said as I approached.

“Have what?”

“The third degree, Jordyn. He cut his finger. I’m the worst father in the world.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You’re thinking it.”

“What happened?”

“He cut his finger while we were carving the pumpkin.”

“You let him carve the pumpkin?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No,” I said, swallowing back my annoyance. “Thanks for patching him up.”

“It’s not that bad of a cut. I don’t have kid bandages at home. I’ll have to pick some up.”

I cringed.

How many times did I ask him if he was prepared for Sam? Meaning stuff like bandages, medicine in case he had a fever or something. You know, the normal kid stuff a decent parent would have just in case. But Keith didn’t do just in case. Ever.

“I’m glad he had fun.”

“Yeah. I mean, the pumpkin looks like hell.”

“What?”

“Let’s just say he’s not going to cut it as an artist,” Keith said with that classic bad boy smile that once did something to my heart.

“He’s five, Keith. I’m sure he’ll get better at pumpkin carving as he gets older.”

“Hey, I’m just messing around,” he said. Then in a surprise move, Keith reached for my wrist. “Take a breath.”

I quickly pulled my hand away.

What the hell are you doing, Keith?

“Have a good week,” he said. “Or two.”

“See you later,” I said.

Keith drove away as he rolled up the window.

I took Sam inside and our first stop was to the bathroom to actually look at the cut. My fear was that he should have gotten stitches, but this was just a regular cut. With a fresh band-aid, kid-sized, Sam was good to go.

I tossed all of his dirty laundry down the basement steps, which I jokingly always called the laundry chute. I took his bag upstairs to his room and paused at the door. There was Sam, on the floor, with a line of cars and trucks, having them talking to each other as though they were preparing to escape from a monster or bad guy. My eyes looked to the dresser. Almost forty-eight hours ago, I was sitting on the floor with my back against it, crying my eyes out. Worried sick about Sam. Feeling too many feelings about life. Only to be saved by a man standing where I was right then.

I turned my head and looked down the hallway to my bedroom.

Where everything had gotten so wildly hot.

I took a deep breath to cool myself down.

“Mom?”

My trance was broken as Sam was now right in front of me, reaching for his bag.

“Sammy,” I said.

“Can I have this? I need my toys.”

“Oh. Sure.”

I let the bag go and he hurried to unzip it and dump out the toys he took to Keith’s house.

“Did you have fun this weekend?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said without looking back.

“Did you have fun carving the pumpkin?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to eat fish eyes for dinner?”

His head snapped back. “What?”

I smiled. “Just joking. Wasn’t sure if you were listening to me or not.”

Sam just stared blankly.

“Have fun, Sammy,” I said. “I’ll cook dinner in a little bit.”

Downstairs in the kitchen, I looked around and took a deep breath.

This was home for me.

This was normal for me.

And for the moment, I was okay with that.

* * *

Halloween came and went in a blur. The weather was perfect, crisp and cool, leaves on the ground, getting dark a little early, kids flooding the streets looking for candy and snacks. I took Sam out around our neighborhood. If that wasn’t busy enough, they had a Halloween parade at daycare that morning, meaning he got to dress up two times in one day. By the end of the night, he was just happy to be done with his costume for the year.

We had a tradition that I started because… well, chocolate.

We’d finish trick or treating by seven and then come home and dump out all the candy on the living room floor. We’d sit there and separate it into several important piles. First up, there was the good chocolate. Then the actual candies. Then a pile of weird stuff we both had no idea what it was. In other words, the cheap stuff that nobody wanted to eat. And finally, the stuff from the few neighbors who had good hearts but bad ideas as they put a few crackers in a baggie to hand out.

Once that was done, we put the chocolates and candies into two different baggies. Of course, during that time, we both ate enough chocolate that our bellies hurt. That made bedtime fun and it made waking up the next day a little crazy.

Sam begged to skip daycare, but there was no way I could miss work. Not after darting out to see his Halloween parade. Mike had no kids, so he didn’t understand what all that stuff meant. He would let me leave when I needed, but I would be reminded of it time and time again. There was no favor done at work without repayment of some kind.

Miss Beth met me at the door as I was running late. She was quick to get Sam and broke the ice with ease by asking him about Halloween. She said they were all going to talk about their adventures of the previous night. She looked back at me and winked, giving me the go ahead to get out of there.

I made it to work with about ten seconds to spare.

And waiting for me was Mike.

“I need twenty copies of this,” he said, handing me a folder. “And then we need to pull a few files. I want to check some valuations. You’re good with that?”

“Of course,” I said with a big smile. “Anything for you, Mike.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” he said. He started to turn but paused. “How was your kid’s thing?”

“Halloween?”

“Yeah.”

“It was good.”

“You plan on taking down all the pretend scary crap in my office?”

“Of course,” I said with an even bigger smile. “Anything for you… Mike…”

“You’re the best, Jordyn,” he said.

He finally walked away, and I curled my lip. There were worse jobs in the world to have. That, I had reminded myself of too many times in my life.

I kept to my normal routine, which had never failed me before to keep the hours moving along. The phones kept ringing. Mike and Bill kept coming and going. Jane was in and out of the office three times. Two times she came back pissed off.

Then the door opened, and I looked up to see Ramsey standing there. A second behind him was his Uncle Tom.

I stood up, my eyes wide.

I hadn’t talked to Ramsey since the day after we were together. Which was something I didn’t, and wouldn’t regret. That was a moment and time of need and it went exactly as I needed it. It was my fault for wanting him to stay. When he didn’t stay, that should have been the big clue hanging in front of me. Yet in some dumb way I thought we’d get together the next day and spend the rest of the weekend together.

That’s what couples did.

Ramsey and I were not a couple.

“Hey, there she is,” Uncle Tom said. “Look at how pretty you are.”

“Easy, old man,” Ramsey said. “You’re a married man.”

“Happily married,” Uncle Tom said. “But when you see someone like Jordyn…”

I swallowed everything down and slapped a smile on my face. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to talk to Bill again,” he said.

“And you?” I asked, looking at Ramsey.

“I like the way this place smells,” he said. “So clean and pumpkin spicy…”

Jerk.

I placed a call for Bill.

His office door popped open and he stood with his arms open. “It’s Uncle Tom.”

“You can call me Thomas,” Uncle Tom said. “We’re not friends, Bill.”

“Maybe you should call me William,” Bill said with a wink.

“Maybe we should call another realtor,” Ramsey said.

“Hey, no need for that,” Bill said. “We have a lot to go over. Good and bad. But that’s life.”

“You good with this?” Ramsey asked Uncle Tom.

Uncle Tom looked at me, then at Ramsey. “Yeah. Have at it, son.”

Have at what?

Uncle Tom walked toward Bill’s office.

Ramsey stood at my desk.

I looked at him and crossed my arms. “I have a lot of phone calls to make.”

“I’m sure you do,” he said.

“So, if you don’t mind, go outside and wait for your uncle.”

Ramsey put his hands flat to the desk. The muscles in his forearms flexing. The tattoos almost coming to life and dancing with the way his muscles moved. He leaned forward.

“Darling, the only way I’m going outside is if you come with me…”

“I’m busy.”

“You’re not doing anything right now.”

“I’m waiting for you to leave so I can work.”

He didn’t budge.

I sat down.

I pretended like he wasn’t there. I collected files and folders, organizing them as I normally would have. I filled out sticky notes the way Mike and Bill liked it, placing them on the paperwork that needed to be reviewed and signed.

The entire time - all of a minute - Ramsey just stood there.

I finally closed a folder and looked toward Bill’s office. “So, you come to meetings and don’t bother to go inside?”

“Because it’s bullshit.”

“What is?”

“Bill sold a piece of land out from under my uncle. Now he’s kissing my uncle’s ass to get in his good graces again.”

“And your opinion on it?”

“I think what my uncle wanted to do was crazy. We’re in construction, not developing. I think he was watching too many TV shows late at night. Probably from the heavy sauce Aunt Millie makes. Gave him heartburn so he was up dealing with it.”

“I don’t think you should mention that to your aunt,” I said.

“I never would. Hearts and stomachs, right?”

“Yeah. Right. I remember what she said.”

Ramsey took a deep breath. “Okay, darling. I wanted to talk to you in private. But I’ll do this here.”

“Do what?”

“I stepped too far ahead,” he said. “The night I came into your house. I only wanted to check on you. But when I saw you… that moment… that was the realest you I’ve ever seen.”

“Sitting on my son’s floor, crying?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“And that was a turn on to you?”

“Everything about you is, Jordyn. I shouldn’t have left when I did. I shouldn’t have talked to you on the phone the way I did.”

“Is this your attempt at an apology?”

“Something like that. There was a lot that happened that night. You saw a piece of me that I don’t show anyone. And I saw a piece of you that you don’t show anyone.”

“Okay. I agree with that.”

“It wasn’t just a simple situation,” Ramsey said. “Me being a bad kid and all that. It wasn’t just some phase. Or attitude. It was more than that.”

“What does this have to do with us sleeping together?”

“I don’t know, darling. I just keep playing everything over and over. Wishing it was all different.”

“Wishing you didn’t come into my house?”

“I would never take that back,” he said. “There’s a lot about me… a lot that happened.”

“Hey, Rams, we all go through a lot in life,” I said. “You’ve seen my life.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s what has me here. I want to tell you about my brother. My family. What led me to this point here.”

“Right now?” I asked.

“You won’t come outside with me.”

“I can’t just leave work, Rams.”

Bill’s office door opened with the booming laughter of Bill’s fake, salesman laugh. “I told you we’d get this figured out. You don’t want to be in the business of land, Tom. Believe me. You’re good at what you do.”

“Meeting’s over,” Ramsey said.

He inched away and I jumped up. “Wait a second. You can’t do this to me.”

“Do what?”

“Come in here and talk like that. You called me the day after we… you know… and you basically didn’t want to see me.”

“No, darling,” Ramsey said. “I told you to work. I don’t want to fuck up your life.”

“You’re in it,” I said.

“I’m not all the way in it,” he said with a grin.

“Because of Sam.” I touched my forehead. “You have to realize…”

“No, I don’t,” he said. “I already understand. I just wanted to tell you something about myself.”

“Then tell me,” I said.

“I have to get back to work, Jordyn. I know this weekend is no good for you. But if there’s a chance you can get a babysitter, let me know.”

I sighed.

What are you doing to me, Ramsey?

My gut and my brain were arguing, with my heart quietly chiming in, wanting to know more about Ramsey. He accepted me and my flaws. My story. My life. The way I lived because of Sam.

“It was good to see you, pretty girl,” Uncle Tom said to me.

“She’s the best, right?” Bill asked.

I rolled my eyes. Mike and Bill always called me the best when it was convenient for them.

“You’d better take care of her,” Uncle Tom said. “I have an office that could use someone like her.”

“You couldn’t afford me,” I teased.

“Job comes with benefits,” Uncle Tom said.

My eyes looked to Ramsey, but I hurried to look away.

“Oh yeah?” I asked.

“Aunt Millie’s cooking?” Ramsey asked.

“Now that’s tempting. But with that, comes Ramsey, right?”

“There’s the bad part of the job,” Uncle Tom said.

I laughed.

Ramsey held the door for his uncle as they left the office.

Bill quickly hurried back into his room.

I stood there alone and watched as Ramsey walked by the large front window of the realtor’s office. He turned his head once to look at me.

All I wanted was to see his eyes and feel nothing.

But that didn’t happen.

And if I kept going this way with him…

… there were more than two hearts at stake here.

* * *

“Okay, so I brought him some snacks and juice,” I said as I put my hand on the bag. “I brought some of his cars and trucks. He likes to play with those a lot. If you don’t mind, there’s a show he-”

“Jordyn,” Brenda said, shutting me up.

She stood with a neon red coffee mug, her short auburn hair tucked behind her ear. She used to have really long hair and a lot of piercings in her ears. Now the earrings she wore were ones her husband - Charlie - bought her for her birthday, telling her it was from their daughter, Hazel. It was amazing how Brenda went from a wild and free spirit to full Mom mode.

“Sorry,” I said.

“I know you never do the babysitter thing with Sam, but just breathe.”

“I do the babysitter thing,” I said, defending myself. “For work…”

“This isn’t work.”

“I know.”

Brenda put her coffee mug down. “It’s good to see you dating.”

“It’s not a date.”

“Right. You’re having me watch Sam, so you can go out with a guy.”

“Not a guy.”

Brenda raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Stop,” I said. “I’ve been talking to him for a while. Kind of casual. On the weekends when Sam is with Keith. Okay? I don’t know what’s going on, but he wanted to talk about…”

“It’s a date, Jordyn. And it’s fine. You’re a human. I know things with Keith didn’t work out, but you can’t hold that over yourself like it’s something horrible.”

“You have a perfect life here, Brenda.”

“Far from perfect. Charlie has been working crazy hours. I’m alone most of the time with Hazel. She’s teething and more mobile. Believe me, nobody’s life is perfect. Now go enjoy your date.”

“Now I feel bad asking for help,” I said. “If you’re having a rough time…”

“It’s our job, Jordyn. We get to have a rough time. And when I need a break, I take one. Look, I know your main thing is to protect Sam. That’s fine. But you need to take care of yourself. You deserve to be happy with someone.”

“I don’t want Sam hurt again.”

“Hurt again? Who said he was hurt to begin with?”

“He says things,” I said. “Okay? He’s not comfortable with Keith. And seeing his father two times a month? That’s not a relationship.”

“I agree. But it’s the situation right now. It’s going to keep changing. So just go with it, Jordyn. Go out and have fun. You can let Sam sleep here. He’ll be fine. I have the spare bedroom upstairs. Charlie is in the basement finishing up some work.”

“I can’t do that, Brenda. But thank you for helping me.”

I said goodbye to Sam with a kiss to the top of his head. He thought I had a work meeting, which was fine with me.

I left the house and was happy I had my hoodie and my jacket.

I was going to need it.

Where Ramsey wanted to meet… it was outside.