I slept in Sam’s bed for two nights with him. One because he asked me to. Two because of the guilt I felt. He was officially confused now. Having Ramsey take him to the hospital and then have his father show up. The only thing that saved him was being sick, as sad as that was. He tested positive for strep throat and the doctor gave me medicine and advice. When we left the hospital, I had to endure a car ride home with Keith as he mumbled comments under his breath. That’s what he did. Classic goading to try and get me to snap so I looked like the crazy one in front of Sam.

He dropped us off, literally, and left.

I had to carry Sam back into the house and get him settled by myself.

Keith sent me a text message on Sunday night asking if Sam was feeling better.

That was it.

He didn’t call, visit, anything. And while it was only strep throat, it was the sickest Sam had ever been in his young life.

Ramsey sent me a text twice a day. And I stupidly replied back with just a basic answer. I was embarrassed with what happened at the hospital with Keith. The hate and jealousy that spread across Keith’s face, him acting like we were all in high school. It was like he didn’t know how to grow up, or he just didn’t want to grow up.

I took Monday off from work, which Mike gave me attitude for. But he didn’t have much to complain about when I stayed up until after midnight on Sunday prepping files for him and emailing them to him. In fact, when I called off sick and told him what I had done, he half joked with me saying I should just work from home.

Now that would be a great idea. Be able to come and go from the office as needed. Have more time with Sam. And next year when he went to kindergarten, it would be a greater sense of freedom.

But one thing at a time.

I poured myself another cup of coffee and checked on Sam. He was on the floor in his room, his cars and trucks set up, a line of plastic animals and dinosaurs on his bed. Lost in his own world of imagination. The fever had long since broken and it was obvious the medicine was working. Truthfully, he could have gone to daycare and I could have gone to work. But I needed today. Even if I was on my way downstairs to sit at the dining room table to deal with Mike’s emails about work. Taking a day off was one thing. But that little bug of work from home was in his ear and he wanted to see how far I’d go.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

I stopped working when Sam came downstairs, rubbing his eyes, wanting some lunch. I made him chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and a glass of apple juice. Then I made him get on the couch to rest for a couple of hours.

That’s when I went outside and sent Ramsey a text.

Can you talk?

Without hesitation, my phone started to ring.

It made me smile that Ramsey had that kind of freedom in his life. He worked hard, knowing what was at stake with his uncle’s company, but I loved that he was able to call me when I needed him to.

Call me greedy, but it was nice to get the attention once in a while.

“Hey,” he said.

“Everything okay with Sam?”

That made me smile too.

“He’s fine. I wanted to talk to you. About us.”

“Us?” he asked.

“What happened the other night. I shouldn’t have let it happen. And I shouldn’t have waited this long to call you. I’ve been focused on Sam and things with my job…”

“Darling, you don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he said.

“I do,” I said. “I relied on you. And then…”

“Jordyn. There are no rules in these situations. I’m just glad your son is okay. And I promise I will get you a new battery for your car.”

I shut my eyes. While all that was going on with Keith, Ramsey still had his friend come over to my house and jump my car for me.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said. “I’ll take care of it. It’s not your job.”

“You keep saying that,” he said. “If we’re just meant to see each other every other weekend, that’s fine. But I’m not afraid of your life, darling. No matter what happens. Look, I have to go back inside. I have to make sure these guys actually get work done today. I should be done by seven. Can I call you then?”

“Can you stop by?”

There was a pause of a few seconds. “Yeah.”

I smiled again.

His voice gave me butterflies. And seeing him gave me something to look forward to.

And that was exactly what I needed to get through the rest of the day.

* * *

He texted me before gently knocking on the door. To make sure he didn’t wake up Sam. Little things like that made my heart swell to a level that was kind of dangerous. I had no reason not to fall for him, but that would mean pulling him deeper into the mess that was my life.

I opened the door and he stood there holding a white rose.

“Hey, darling,” he whispered and handed it to me.

So simple, yet it meant more than he’d ever understand.

“Rams…”

I put the rose down on the table near the front door. Then I jumped at him.

He stepped back and held me as I hugged him tightly. He only put one arm around my back and squeezed. Kind of like a forced hug.

I broke away from him and hugged myself as the colder autumn air sat low and heavy like a blanket.

“How’s Sam?”

“He’s fine,” I said. “Back to normal tomorrow.”

“Okay. Good.”

“I’m so sorry, Rams. I messed up.”

“You didn’t mess up.”

“I didn’t know how to handle the situation.”

“You did. You protected your son. That was always the most important thing of the night.”

“No,” I said. “Keith had been seeing someone. He never told me about it. Sam did. And I got mad at Keith for it. Then he shows up to the hospital and you’re there. I threw you to the wolves, Rams. And I’m so sorry for that.”

He shook his head. “Jordyn, stop apologizing for living your life and figuring this out as it happens. Why did you get pissed at Keith for seeing someone?”

“Because he never told me,” I said. “And because he sees Sam twice a month. And I just couldn’t stand that he would split his attention between a woman and his own kid. In my defense, with us, we do our thing when Sam is either gone or asleep.”

Ramsey grinned. “What about the night we made those turkeys?”

I swallowed hard. “I know. I wanted you here. And Sam liked you being here. I don’t regret that. I probably owe Keith an apology for that. I just can’t stand what he does. He dropped us off and left. I’ve been alone with Sam since then. I took today off work. And I don’t want to lose you in all of this.”

“Wait a second,” Ramsey said. He closed in on me. “You’re not losing me. You’re not losing anything.”

He slid his hands over my shoulders.

I started to melt.

“I wish it wasn’t like this, Rams. Just so confusing and messy.”

“I know,” he said. “But we’re here right now.”

“For, what, five minutes? And then I have to wait until two weekends from now to see you again.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he said. “I’m following your lead.”

“For how long? You’ve been so amazing with everything. You make me feel alive again, Rams. The little things you do. And say. The way I feel when I look at the calendar on my desk at work and get excited for the weekend I get to see you. I want that all the time.”

“Then have it all the time,” he said.

“You’ve seen enough of my life to know better.”

“Darling, you think that was the first time I had to face off with Keith?” Ramsey smiled. “His tough guy act doesn’t mean shit to me. He can put his hand to my chest all he wants. He can wear the same cool guy leather jacket from high school and pretend that he’s the baddest guy in the world. It doesn’t bother me. He doesn’t need to know anything about you, about me, about us. That’s up to you to decide. If you think I’d let something like this make me walk away, you’re out of your mind.”

I touched his face. “I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“You can have anyone you want, Rams. And you want me? This? Why?”

“Because I do,” he said. “Don’t question it.”

“Okay. I don’t want to lose you, but if I did…”

“You’re not going to lose me,” he said in a more direct tone.

He got closer to me.

Our bodies just inches away from one another.

I let out a deep breath, feeling the weight of the day trying to push me down.

Ramsey touched my chin and traced a line across my jaw. I liked when he did that. I liked the way it sent chills down my neck and through my body. My toes curled in my socks.

“Now what?” he asked me.

I said the first thing that came to mind. “Come inside.”

* * *

I looked at least three times to make sure the door was shut. But it wasn’t locked. I couldn’t do that. Which meant I was going in with a lot of hope that we didn’t get caught.

Ramsey was all over me.

The passion between us way too obvious to fight away.

Back to my bed, back to the same sheets as before, the heavy comforter pulled halfway up his body as his hands held my hips tight, moving at me in a way that made me bite my lower lip to keep from making noise.

Our clothes were a scattered mess on the right side of the bed. My fingers dug into the thick muscles of his back as he took me and had me. His lips and tongue flirted with my neck. He inched down to my collarbone and slid the tip of his nose end to end, making my back arch as I wanted him to keep going down. When he did, I scratched my way down his back and placed my hands on the bed and made fists, holding the sheets.

I let out a shaky breath as Ramsey moved his mouth over my left breast. He engulfed me, and his tongue flickered in every direction, somehow at the same time. When he pulled away, the sound echoed in the room briefly. I started to look down as he moved to my other breast. I groaned as I crunched forward, almost biting at his hair.

He did something to me. He broke open another side of me.

The way the bed gently squeaked. The shuffling of the covers as he moved faster. The pressure between my legs as I moved my hips, matching his speed and desire.

Ramsey ran his hands up my sides as I arched my back even higher than before. My head all the way back, my eyes shut, offering everything to him. I trusted him with whatever he wanted to touch and kiss. His hands moved to the middle of my back and spread wide. The size and strength made me gush, my inner thighs trembling at my body’s request to climax. I took a few deep gasps of air as I dug my ankles hard into the bed. Ramsey drove forward and broke my pleasure seal wide open.

“Yes,” I managed to whisper, before I lost my voice.

Ramsey knew what he was doing and how to do it. Holding me steady as I came, still loving my body over and over, knowing when to slow and when to make his next move. That move, however, surprised me as he turned quickly, pulling me on top of him. I let out a shuddering gasp as my hands were planted firmly on his chest. I felt more exposed and vulnerable to him as I leaned forward, my hair and breasts hanging, my hips instinctively driving down against Ramsey’s thickness, feeling every powerful inch of him deep within my core.

My legs started to shake as my hips began to rock forward and back, without me even telling them to do so.

“Yes, darling,” Ramsey growled. His hands slid down to my hips and he held there, gently lifting me up to only lower me back down. “Yes… right there…”

I slid my hands from his strong chest to the pillows next to his head as I started to move my body for him. I was the one in control now. The way my hips moved. The way my lower back arched and rocked. Needing him. Feeling him. Taking him.

His hands touched the front of my legs. When he squeezed, even a little, I gasped and jumped. Feeling ticklish and pleasure at the same time was a strange feeling, but I kind of liked it. His hands didn’t stay there long though. They climbed up my body, inch by inch, forcing me to straighten my back. When they eased over my breasts, I put my head back. My hips kept rocking, feeling everything he had to offer. Lost in a moment that I had been craving for such a long time.

At home. On a random night. In my bed. With a man like Ramsey.

Whatever we were. Or would end up being.

This was exactly what I needed.

Ramsey opened his hands to release my breasts and he touched my neck. Going from rough and tough to this super gentle touch as he pulled me forward, all the way down until my lips crashed to his.

He kept his left hand on the back of my neck, creeping up into my hair while his right quickly raced down to the small of my back. Then down around to my ass. He held there and grunted into my mouth as we kissed faster.

I moved faster.

I felt him getting heavier, fuller, ready to let go.

My toes curled tightly as the pressure built for me again.

I gasped into his mouth as our kissing matched what else was happening between us.

I took shaky breaths, running out of air.

We finally ended up with just our lips touching, not even kissing. Tasting each other’s breaths, sounds, and desires.

I let out a whimpering cry that was caught in the back of my throat.

Ramsey let out a wild hiss as he lifted himself up and held there. His hand moved to the middle of my back as I felt him go. I shut my eyes and put my head back, rocking my hips harder and faster, demanding all of him.

When I collapsed to his chest, I was out of breath, stealing kisses, tasting his sweat.

Ramsey hugged me, the tips of his rough fingers tickling my back from my neck all the way down to my ass.

We stayed there in silence as I listened to the beat of his heart.

I felt comfortable. I felt safe. I felt right at home.

I shut my eyes, realizing what the feeling in my chest and stomach was.

“Rams,” I said.

“Yeah?”

I put my chin to his chest. He looked at me. “Please don’t go tonight.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“More than sure.”

I could see his eyes burning to ask questions or to question me. But face it, I was naked and on top of him. He wasn’t going anywhere.

I never wanted him to go anywhere.

* * *

I was terrified the second my eyes opened the next morning.

I turned and saw the bed was empty.

“Shit,” I whispered and threw the covers off me.

I was still wearing the same nothing from the night before.

As I hurried to put on enough clothes to deem me appropriate to be seen by my son, I danced on one foot to the other side of the bed to find all of Ramsey’s clothes missing.

My heart ached.

He left.

Just like he did the first time.

Wanting to be with me, have me, but not stay the night and deal with the next day. To find what the next step was in our relationship.

Relationship.

I rubbed my forehead and left the bedroom to head to Sam’s room.

The door to his room was already open.

His bed was empty too.

“Sam?” I called out. “Sammy?”

I raced to the bathroom.

Empty.

My eyes looked to the steps.

“Shit,” I whispered.

I was always awake before Sam. Or if he did wake up before me, he would come get me.

Halfway down the stairs, I heard Sam’s laugh.

“You think that’s funny?” a voice asked.

Ramsey’s voice.

I didn’t know what the hell was going on.

As I turned to go into the kitchen, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Ramsey standing at my stove, with Sam standing on a turned around dining room chair next to him. Sam was still way shorter than Ramsey, but they were like two peas in a pod.

“You have to keep smashing the eggs,” Ramsey said. “That’s why they’re called scrambled eggs. You have to scramble them. Want to try?”

“Sure,” Sam said.

I cringed when I saw my son take a spatula from Ramsey and lean over a hot stove.

Sam poked at the eggs and kept looking at Ramsey for approval.

The way a son would look at his father.

I wasn’t sure how to feel in that moment.

My son with my… what?

I cleared my throat and Ramsey turned his head.

“There she is,” he said. “Sleepyhead over here.”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

Sam turned and smiled. “I’m cooking, Mom.”

“I see that,” I said. “When did you get up?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Hey, dude, why don’t you go watch some cartoons and I’ll finish up here,” Ramsey said.

Sam jumped down from the chair and took off out of the kitchen. Ramsey turned off the burner and moved the pan to the other side of the stove.

“Breakfast is done,” he said with a wink.

“Wow,” I said. “Did he wake you up?”

“I was awake. I heard him in the hallway. So, I kind of snuck my way out.”

“Okay. Did he say anything?”

“No,” Ramsey said. “I told him I was using the bathroom. That I slept over to fix your car.”

“He wasn’t scared of you?”

“No. Is he supposed to be?”

“No,” I said. “Sorry. This is…”

Ramsey smiled. “Get some eggs and get ready for work, darling. I have to take off now. I need to meet Matt and Ed at a job.”

I put my hand out to stop him from getting away that easily. “Thank you for staying last night.”

He touched my face. “Of course. I wish I could do it every night.”

“Who says you can’t?”

Ramsey didn’t respond. I felt heat rise into my cheeks.

I had stepped over a line.

Suggesting he lived with me? And Sam? Joking or not, that was a big line to cross over.

“You’re beautiful in the morning, darling,” he said, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I’ve wondered how you’d look in the morning for a while now. Now I know.”

“Thank you, Rams.”

He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “You should come by my place, darling. You’d appreciate the house. Everything it means to me.”

“I’d love to do that,” I said.

I casually touched the bottom of his shirt. I started to flirt with the top of his jeans.

Ramsey had found a secret side of me and unlocked it.

I wanted him again. Right there. Right in the kitchen.

“You’re pushing it now,” he whispered.

“Maybe I don’t care.”

He laughed right in my ear, sending a hot, tingling sensation through my entire body.

He kissed my cheek again and walked away.

I stepped from the kitchen and watched as he said goodbye to Sam. Running his hand over Sam’s messy bedhead hair.

And then he was gone.

I had worried about this moment for a long time. Knowing I never wanted to be alone in life. Knowing even with leaving Keith, he was going to forever be in our lives. Knowing I would eventually have to make the decision to have a man come over and be near Sam.

But that wasn’t the scariest part of it all.

The scariest part…

Ramsey made it all feel normal.