“So, what do we do now?” I asked.

I had my hand flat against a paper plate. I looked over at Sam as he carefully tried to trace a line around his hand. But he kept messing it up. I watched as his face looked more and more pissed off.

“Hey, do you use your right hand to write?” I asked.

“Yes,” Sam said.

“Can I help you with that real quick?”

“Okay.”

I took my hand off my paper plate. Which wasn’t going to work for me anyway. My hand was too big. Jordyn said she was getting some construction paper. It was a total family kind of night. Eating pizza. Arts and crafts. A life I knew nothing about and had never experienced before. The way Jordyn handled Sam and the way she put out paints for the hand turkey things. And when my hand was too big for the paper plate, she had another idea ready to go.

All of it drove me wild from the depths of my soul. I never thought it was possible to get that worked up over a woman shuffling through a drawer to find a large piece of white construction paper.

Who the hell was I?

“If you put your left hand down,” I said, “then you can trace with your right hand.”

Sam put his left hand down and did what I said.

He started to trace his left hand.

“Good job,” I said.

He finished and lifted his hand.

“It looks bad,” he said.

“No, it doesn’t,” I said. “It just takes practice.”

“Okay, I found paper for us,” Jordyn said.

“Us?” I asked. “Your little hand will fit on a paper plate no problem.”

“Thanks for that,” she said.

“This looks bad,” Sam said.

I slid the plate away and shook my head. “I think it looks good, but you really wanted your right hand traced, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sam said.

“Can I trace your hand, dude?”

Dude? Where the hell did that come from?

Sam looked at Jordyn for approval.

“Have at it,” she said.

I stood next to Sam and gently touched his wrist. “Keep your hand steady. We’re going to make a turkey so perfect, it’s going to jump up off this plate and fly away.”

“Do turkeys fly?” Jordyn asked.

I looked at her, smiling. “Was that a serious question?”

“I don’t know,” she said, her cheeks turning red.

I smiled and went back to tracing Sam’s tiny hand.

When he took his hand away from the paper plate, he let out a gasp.

“That looks good, right?” I asked.

“Amazing,” Jordyn said.

“So now what?” I asked.

“Paint it and cut it out,” Sam said.

“You don’t have to cut it out,” Jordyn said. “It’ll look good on the plate.”

“I don’t know, Jordyn, looks like Sam is the expert here,” I said.

We all sat and kept working on our turkeys. Of all the things I had done on a Friday night, this was definitely up there on the list of unforgettable. I traced my hand, painted a turkey, and cut it out. When we were all done, there were six hand turkeys on the table. All different sizes and colors.

“I think we did great,” Jordyn said.

“They look good enough to eat,” I said. “Right, Sam?”

Sam giggled. “We have to hang them up.”

“This is your job now, Jordyn,” I said. “You own the place, so you hang them up.”

“I rent the place,” she said.

“Right. But still, you hang them up.”

Jordyn looked at the kitchen clock. “Sam, it’s past your bedtime already. Why don’t we clean up and get ready for bed? I’ll hang these up and you can see them in the morning. Once they’re completely dry.”

“I’m not tired,” he said.

“You look tired to me, dude,” I said. “I’m kind of tired too. I think I should get going and get some sleep. Hey, Sam, thanks for letting me hang out here. This was fun.”

“You can take your turkeys with you,” he said. “So you can hang them up in your house.”

“Wow, that’s a good idea. Thanks for that.”

Sam shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.”

Jordyn made a sweep of the table and I turned, putting my back to Sam.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Let me clean up. You get him settled. Is that okay?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I kind of stole your guys night. I’ll clean this up and take off.”

“No,” she whispered. “Don’t go yet. Stay and wait. Please.”

Her honey eyes were killing me. Her hair that was tucked behind her left ear but not her right ear was killing me. Her rolled up sleeves were killing me. Everything about her screamed mom life, yet I couldn’t get enough of it.

“Have a good night, Sam,” I said. “Thanks for the pizza and the turkey.”

“Sam, say goodnight to Ramsey,” Jordyn said.

“Goodnight, Ramsey,” Sam said.

I laughed.

I stood there and watched as mother and son walked toward the steps.

When they were out of sight, I took a deep breath and turned to face the mess on the table.

I had no idea what I was getting into now.

I liked Jordyn a lot. And this was all part of her life.

The life that I walked away from at the worst possible time. Leaving question marks and broken hearts along a rose filled path.

But it just wasn’t right. Not then. Not her.

And I finally understood what that meant.

Because being with Jordyn felt right.

* * *

I stepped outside to do the opposite of what I did last time. Which was give Jordyn complete and total privacy with Sam. Not that I was trying to invade her privacy the last time, but I knew she was alone, and that the tension between her and her ex was pretty bad.

There was a time when I would have loved to fight Keith. He was always such a cocky asshole, pretending to be tough and mean, when in reality, he liked to dress the part and push the line just enough to get the attention he craved. I never looked the part because I kept quiet and kept to myself, worried about my next meal or how I was going to buy Brian new clothes because he was hitting so many growth spurts at once. We had moved back and forth so many times that everyone called me The Ghost. I was there one month, gone for three, back for two more. It was all a damn blur because my focus was on Brian. I wanted him to get the hell out of our lives and do something great for himself. Yet, at the end of it all, he died trying to get to me. Because I couldn’t be there for him.

I stood on Jordyn’s front porch, thinking about Brian.

He was so young. He really didn’t grasp much of what was happening around him in his own little world. He got to be a big pain in my ass too. Anytime I was trying to get close to a girl, he was there. Barging into my room or finding a way to sneak in at the worst moment. Asking why my hand was up a girl’s shirt once. Her face turned a deep shade of red and she got so nervous she took off.

But Brian was always my little brother. My little sidekick. The easiest way for me to talk to girls too because they thought he was so cute. His pudgy cheeks speckled with freckles. His dark eyes that made him look young and cute while my eyes were like the cold stare of a snake about to strike.

When I got my first tattoo, Brian thought it was so cool, he tried to draw the same picture on his arm with a permanent marker. It was there for a good month, if not more. I promised him when he turned eighteen I would take him for a tattoo. Instead, on his eighteenth birthday he was in the same spot he’d been in since he was a kid, and I got his initials tattooed on my side. The side where the car hit him and threw him I don’t know how many fucking feet. Trying to run to get me because our father was choking on his own puke.

And now, here I was at Jordyn’s house. With her kid. With Sam. A kid that was just a few years shy of Brian’s age when he died. A kid that was living a little bit of a messy life. But he had a good mother. A mother that deserved someone to love and cherish her. To hold her up on days when she felt weak and someone to take even the smallest bit of burden off her beautiful shoulders.

And that was me?

I looked down, shaking my head, knowing what happened the last time I got close to someone like I was with Jordyn.

Only this time, I would make damn sure that I…

“Hey, there you are.”

I turned and saw Jordyn standing in the doorway to her house. She had ditched the hoodie she had been wearing and was in a light gray t-shirt that left plenty for the eyes to see. My mind replayed the moment I first touched her bare skin. My hands exploring the curves of her body, touching her chest, kissing her in places that left her vulnerable, yet she trusted me.

“Figured you wanted to be alone,” I said.

“You didn’t have to come outside. It’s getting cold.”

“I didn’t want to be in the way. Something tells me Sam is smart enough to know whether I’m actually here or gone.”

“Yeah, he does have the sense about him,” she said. “You could come back inside.”

“Or maybe you could join me out here for a minute.”

“You’re going to have to keep me warm, Rams.”

She stepped outside and gently shut the door. I wasted no time in wrapping my arms around her and pulled her tight against me.

She shivered. “I love this time of the year, but I hate feeling cold.”

“Here, let’s try something else quick.”

I broke away from her and slid my flannel off. I wrapped it around her and she stuck her arms through it. Her arms didn’t even make it halfway down the sleeves.

“You look weird,” I said.

“But I’m warm now,” she said. “And it smells like you.”

“I have a smell?”

“Everyone has a smell.”

“I hope it’s a good smell.”

She sniffed her right shoulder. “Eh, not too bad.”

I smiled and leaned against one of the pillars on her porch. “How did it go tonight?”

“I guess good,” she said. “Right?”

“He seems like a good kid, Jordyn. You’re doing amazing.”

“I don’t feel like it most of the time.”

“I know,” I said. “It must have been hard to make that decision.”

“I gave up everything, Rams. I had a little catering business. I was happier. At least in that aspect of my life. But coming home and never knowing what I’d find…”

“What do you mean?”

Her eyes met mine. “When he was using, it was pretty rough. I mean, putting Sammy into his crib and then…”

“Oh, shit,” I said. “He’d do that with Sam in the next room?”

“We had a second-floor apartment with a balcony. He’d go out there. And at first, it was just… whatever. A drink here and there. A little smoke here and there. Stuff I could look past. But even then, what kind of mother does that?”

“Nah, darling, don’t go back and put it on yourself. Shit happens.”

“It happened for too long, Rams. For way too long. And to think of the things I feel right now… it’s like cutting my heart into two.”

“Because you left him?”

“Because I loved him for so long. I over loved him. If that makes sense.”

I touched my jaw. “Yeah, I get that. I’ve been there.”

“I had a kid with him. I love that boy upstairs, Rams. With everything I own.”

“I know you do. Anyone who sees you with him knows that.”

“But…”

“But what?”

“I should have left long before I did.”

“Meaning you wouldn’t have had Sam.”

Jordyn nodded. Her eyes welled up. “How can that even cross my mind? I mean, I can’t imagine life without him, but I wish he had a better life.”

“Ah, shit,” I said. I reached out and touched her cheek. “Darling…”

She sucked in a breath and looked up. She touched the corners of her eyes. “You know, you’re the only one that does this to me. Every time we get together, I end up talking and crying. I’m like the worst date ever.”

“Not a chance,” I said. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. And everything you’re thinking. That’s why I’m here. To be your distraction. Right?”

“Yeah,” she said with a grin. “I love my son.”

“I know you do.”

“I hate everything that surrounds the situation.”

“I know that too.”

“And I don’t think he’ll ever have a real father figure in his life.”

That comment I let hit and fade. Whatever answer I had would have determined a lot more than just one night.

“But you know what, darling? What he has now is a bed. A pillow. Covers. And sleep. He has a house that you provide. So, turn it off for a minute.”

“Rams, you can’t just…”

I moved at her and swept her up off her feet. She put her arms around my neck, my own damn shirt all flappy and long on them.

“Yes, you can,” I growled at her.

I can turn it off, Jordyn. I’m doing it right now. I don’t want to think about or talk about whatever happened before this moment.

“Let’s just have right now,” I said.

“Right now… fine.”

I kissed her.

She melted into my arms.

And I walked her into her own house.

* * *

I put her against the corner of the counter and towered over her. My hands peeled my shirt off her arms and I let it fall to the floor. I touched the roundness of her hips as I pressed my body forward, making sure there wasn’t an inch between us. She looked nervous as hell, reaching up for me with shaky hands, clawing at the scruff on my face.

She licked her lips, silently begging for more.

I kissed her again, this time with more purpose.

I tasted the softness of her tongue and the sweetness of her lips as my hands slithered their way up her body until I gently touched her neck.

I broke the kiss with a loud noise and stole two more with the same sound.

“Upstairs,” she whispered.

“No, darling. What I want, I can take care of right here.”

She let out a whimpering sigh and I let my right hand take charge.

With the flick of my thumb, I opened her jeans. My fingertips grazed along the top of her panties, tracing a dangerous and tempting line from the front of her body around to her hip. I welcomed myself as I inched down, feeling the warmth of her bare skin. She shivered and never dared to break our stare.

I didn’t kiss her either.

I wanted to watch her face as I showed her there was more to do in a kitchen than just cook and clean.

My hand moved around to her ass and I started to work her jeans and panties down. I brought my left hand down to assist, exposing her for my taking and for her pleasure.

My fingertips teased around to the front of her legs as she stepped and wiggled her way out of her clothes. Leaving nothing on the lower half of her body. She slowly parted her legs as I slipped my hands behind them and lifted her up onto the counter. Her hands grabbed for the edges as she let out another whimper. I saw her look beyond the kitchen.

“Lights are off everywhere, darling,” I whispered. “Just us and the light above the kitchen sink.”

“I know,” she said. “Rams…”

I pressed two fingers from my right hand against her body and watched her mouth fall open as words were no longer necessary for us to speak to each other. Her warmth welcomed me, pulsing against my fingertips as I drove forward, curling my fingers, forcing her body to thrust forward at me.

Her hands gripped the edge of the counter tightly as she leaned back until her back hit a closed cabinet. I leaned forward, taking even more control because she had nowhere else to go. My free hand slipped behind her neck as I kissed her. I took my time kissing her, making each one count. Kissing her long enough that she had no choice but to exhale into my mouth. Between her legs was a different story though. My fingers explored with speed, those parts of her body already memorized by my own body. I grunted as I kissed her, feeling her swelling at my touch. Her body responding to my movements with matching ones of her own.

I kissed down to her neck and her hands moved from the counter to my back. She pulled at me, letting out a groaning sigh.

“Yes,” she purred. “Right there… please…”

I loved and hated to hear her beg. Hearing her beg made me want to give her more. But a woman like Jordyn shouldn’t have to beg for this. After everything she did during the day and went through, this should have been implied.

My lips left a trail of kisses from one side of her neck to the other. I began to go down, kissing to the top of her shirt. I didn’t stop there though. I kept going. Running the tip of my nose down along her shirt, over her left breast. There was too much fucking clothing for my liking.

“Oh,” she whimpered as her hips bucked at me even harder.

My left hand dug into the back of her hair, making a tight fist. I reversed my movements as I brought my nose back up until it touched the softness of her skin. I took a deep breath, inhaling her, even catching the hint of her sweet desire as I brought her closer to climax.

She held her mouth shut tight as she groaned, not wanting to make too much noise.

I put my nose to hers and just held there. My lip curled. I gently placed my thumb against her tender clit. She gasped and jumped against it. Her nails scratched at the back of my shirt and came around to my neck. She held right there, eyes wide again, her mouth open, but again reduced to nothing but gasping breaths.

“Right now, darling,” I said. “Right now.”

I plunged my fingers as deep as I could, twisting them, pulling back, repeating the same motion until she finally reached her peak. Her legs closed around my body, her inner thighs quivering as she exhaled a growling breath as she came.

I stole a kiss from her and she attacked me with more.

I slowed my speed as I felt her throbbing and melting at my touch. Until I finally exited her beautiful body, sliding my hand up, sucking in a breath as I did so, feeling her warm and soft skin, all the way up to her belly button.

I put my hand to the counter and kept kissing her.

Hell, I could have stood right there all night just kissing her.

Jordyn put her head back, still breathing heavily. I kissed her neck for a few seconds and broke away.

I backed away a few steps and let her ease off the counter. She stood there, her jeans and panties on the floor next to her. Standing there like a beautiful dream, her left leg slightly bent, moved across her right leg, trying to hide herself.

I moved toward her and crouched to get my shirt off the floor.

As I opened it and offered it to her, she touched my hand. “That’s yours.”

“Not anymore,” I whispered. “You look much better in it than I do.”

“Rams…”

I threw the shirt over her shoulders, not giving her a choice. She sighed with a pretty smile as she slipped her hands into the sleeves. This time I buttoned it up halfway. The shirt went all the way down to her knees, meaning you’d never know she was naked from the waist down.

My hands touched her hips over the shirt, inching up, my eyes devouring her.

I wanted to spend the night. I wanted to hold her in her bed. I wanted to wake up and make her breakfast. And make Sam breakfast too.

That’s too real, Ramsey. That’s too close to the fire you always said you would keep from burning again.

“I should get going,” I said. “I’ve taken up enough of your night.”

“Never enough, Rams,” she said. “I mean that.”

I touched her chin. “I know you do.”

We didn’t say anything else to each other. There was a lot to say though, but we both knew where that would end up.

As I walked through her quiet and dark house, I felt my heart actually starting to ache a little. When I opened the door and stepped out into the cold fall night, I heard her voice whisper my name.

I looked back, Jordyn drowning in my flannel shirt.

She could have every fucking shirt I owned, looking this beautiful in just one of them.

“Take this,” she said.

I looked down and it was one of the hand turkeys I made.

“I thought Sam wanted to hang them all up.”

“You should have one for your place,” she said.

I took the painting and swallowed hard. “Fair enough. I’ll go home right now and hang it up.”

“You’d better,” she said. “Or else Sam will come after you.”

“Yeah, I don’t want that.”

We both smiled.

We both didn’t want the night to end right then. Or end like that.

She grabbed my shoulder and pulled herself up and kissed my cheek.

I walked down the porch, the painting in my hand.

I didn’t look back at the house once. Because if I did and Jordyn was watching me, then I’d walk back there. I’d go inside. I’d carry her upstairs. I’d give her tonight and flirt with the promise of tomorrow. And if that happened, someone would get hurt.

And I’d end up falling in love with her.

Unless, of course, it was already too late for that.