Chapter 19

Ian

 

 

I felt an energy buzzing through me and it’s something I haven’t felt in years. I remembered back to my first teaching job; it had been good, but not this good. This energy was electrifying, and I found myself wanting to smile. I even wanted to walk a little faster, and I found myself wanting to wave at complete strangers. I felt as if I were a young man in my early twenties again, with my entire life ahead of me.

It’s Tessa. I know it. She has a way of making me feel alive, really alive. It’s odd though, it’s not like she is a perky ray of sunshine—far from it—but there is this weird vibe between us. Maybe it’s the ‘two negatives make a positive’ thing.

When we first met, we were both pretty down. She was fresh off her sister’s death, and I was, well, me. I had been stuck in a perpetual gloom for years, but the moment I saw her, it was as if a pinprick of hope popped my bubble of doom and gloom. The more I saw her and the more we talked, that hole enlarged, and it wasn’t long before the dark cloud disappeared altogether.

I could see the change in her as well. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but to me, it seemed like she was happier. I didn’t catch her drifting off or looking sad nearly as often.

I walked through the main doors of the building and practically glided down the hall. When I opened the classroom door, there she was. It always made my day to see her first thing in the morning, usually wearing one of those flowing dresses she favored.

“Good morning,” she said, greeting me with a lovely smile and a steaming cup of coffee.

“What’s this?” I asked, taking the cup.

She smiled. “You’ve bought me coffee a couple of times. I figure I owed you.”

“Thank you. This is really nice, but you don’t owe me. I owed you if you remember, right?” I took a sip of the hot coffee, letting it mingle with the electricity already running through my veins. I felt on fire!

“You seem, different,” she said, looking at me with a strange expression on her face. “You seem… happy?”

I laughed. “I am. I mean, I’m not down, so I guess that makes me happy.”

She nodded, but still seemed to be sizing me up. “Did something happen? You get a raise? Or did you win the lottery?” she joked.

I shook my head. “Nope, just an ordinary day.”

I couldn’t very well tell her that she was the one making me happy. That would freak her out, and it was way beyond the line of appropriate behavior between student and teacher. I want to tell her because I want her to know how glad I am to have her in my life, but I can’t. I know I should completely back away from her and end the friendship we have, but I can’t. I don’t think I could get through this part of my life without her. I’ll figure out a way to keep it professional and not cross any lines. Well, any more lines.

Students trickled in, but they didn’t share my excitement for the day. Today we were staying in. We needed to review all that we’d learned in the field, and I couldn’t afford to have them distracted by the water. Everyone took their seats.

Tessa walked over and handed me the stack of papers that she had neatly stapled together. “Here you go. I’ll let you hand those out. They don’t look happy,” she whispered and winked before walking away.

Ugh, she left me wanting more with a simple wink. Her closeness had given me a quick dose of her fruity perfume. I wanted to grab her and bury my face in her neck, inhaling nothing but her scent. The image nearly made me groan aloud.

I cleared my throat and began distributing the study guide to each student, hearing the grumbles and complaints as I moved throughout the room.

“You could use it and pass the test tomorrow with flying colors, or you can sit here complaining and fail. It’s up to you,” I said from my spot at the front of the room.

“Suck it up, guys. Did you actually think there wouldn’t be a test?” Tessa chimed in from the corner.

Her words were blunt, and they seemed to have hit home. Finally, they all sat up and prepared to be taught. This was why I needed her in my classroom and couldn’t afford to lose her to some silly infatuation. I definitely had to cool it.

As the students filed out, I walked over to Tessa. “Thanks. Sometimes they seem to shut down the minute I open my mouth. You always manage to know exactly what to say.”

She laughed. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I really wanted to tell them to quit being a bunch of babies and suck it up. I don’t understand why they think tests aren’t going to happen. Do they realize they are in school?”

I smiled as she ranted. She tended to get pretty fired up very fast. “You’re right, but trust me, these aren’t the first or last students to bitch about tests. I think we are born with the natural instinct to reject the things.”

That got a giggle out of her. “You’re right. I have a test tomorrow I’m not looking forward to, in fact. I probably got the same look on my face when my professor announced it was coming.”

Nodding, I stepped back when she stood. I don’t want to risk being too close. Honestly, I don’t know if I can control myself.

“I’ve got to go,” she said, smiling and racing out the door. I watched her leave on the run, reminded that she is a college student after all. I have to remind myself of that. She still has this school year until graduation, then the hardship of finding a job that uses the degree she worked so hard to get. All that stuff was in my distant past, and it was then that I realized the reality of the age difference. She has so much life to live and a lot of exploring to do. I’d already done all of that and was in the part of my life where I settled down. Why am I attracted to her? She isn’t anywhere near the same place as I am. It would never work. It is simply not worth the risk to explore a relationship with her when it would never go anywhere.

Jake. I need to talk to Jake. He’ll take me out and introduce me to ladies more suited to my current place in life. I’m dreading it, but I know it has to happen. I have to get Tessa out of my head, and there is only one way to do it. 

I shot him a text. Call me.

The phone rang within seconds of me hitting the send button.

I answered. “Don’t you ever work?” I asked, by way of greeting.

“Yes, but I’m in my office so I can talk when I want. What’s up?”

“Feel like doing something this weekend? Maybe not a barbecue though, and you definitely can’t set me up with another one of your paralegals. I want to get out, though,” I told him.

“Hell yeah! How about we go get a few drinks after work tonight? It’s been a hell of a week, and I for one could use a drink,” he said.

I thought about it and remembered that it was a school night. I rolled my eyes at myself; I wasn’t not twelve after all. I could go out on a school night if I liked. One of the perks of being a grownup and all.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Not Chico’s, though,” I quickly added. I don’t want to risk running into Tessa. I’m going out with the sole intention of exorcising her from my head.

“That’s fine; I know a few other places. How about I pick you up at seven? I’ll bring an Uber so we can both drink,” he joked.

“Sounds good. I’ll be ready,” I told him, feeling better now that I had a plan in place. Hopefully, I will find a charming woman who I will fall madly, deeply in love with, and forget all about the sexy little assistant who has taken up residence in my head.

With the last class of the day done, I headed home and got ready for another night out. I was hoping this one ended a little better than the barbecue. Jake and his driver showed up about fifteen minutes early and before I knew it, we were being whisked away to another spot Jake claimed was clean, quiet and a hot spot for more mature ladies.

“I’m glad you called,” Jake said, sitting down at a table on the covered patio. “There is hope for you yet.”

I hoped so, but wasn’t quite so sure. I didn’t think Jake would think so either if he knew I had been lusting after my young assistant, who happened to be a student at the school I worked for. I’m sure there was a law he would quote.

“Thanks for being so patient with me, but I swear to God, if you try and set me up again, I will definitely kill you.”

He smiled, feigned innocence, then put his hand over his heart and said, “I would never do such a thing.”

I eyed him, suddenly suspicious. “Don’t tell me one of your paralegals is going to accidentally run into us while we’re here.”

He chuckled. “No. Just relax. I had to try, and Megan is a beautiful woman. You have to admit that, at least.”

“Yeah, she is, but not my type,” I said.

“You don’t have a type,” he shot back.

I had to bite my tongue. It seemed I did have a type, but not one he needed to know about.

“I’m exploring my options,” I said, holding back a laugh.

“Works for me. Geez, I need to eat something. Want to split an appetizer with me?” he asked.

“Sure. Something salty and greasy preferably.”

He rolled his eyes. “We’re in a bar. Is there anything but?”

I sometimes forgot Jake was only twenty-seven. . Grownups occasionally eat real food while they drink. Not that I would know, but I remembered Miriam always trying to pressure me into being more dignified. She loathed the idea of hot wings or cheese sticks.

“Jalapeno poppers,” I blurted out, suddenly remembering they had been my favorite snack to go with my beer back before Miriam nearly dragged me to the altar.

“That’s what I’m talking about.” My brother grinned, waving the waitress over.

We ended up ordering far more food than I could imagine the two of us eating, but I was excited to try it all. It had been a long time since I sat in a bar, drinking and stuffing my face with food that would probably make me sick. I was looking forward to every bite.

I noticed Jake jerking his head, motioning to the empty table beside us, but he wasn’t looking at me.

“What are you doing?” I said, turning to see what or who he was looking at.

My heart skipped a beat when my eyes landed on Tessa and her friend. I looked back at Jake who was grinning like a fool.

“What the hell?” I muttered. Did Jake know about Tessa? How? How could he possibly know? When the two women looked towards the bar, I breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t gesturing to them. I couldn’t help but stare at her. I had come here to escape her, yet here she was. It was seriously beginning to feel as if fate was truly trying to put us together. How else could anyone explain why we managed to end up in the same places? I watched her move, weaving between tables. She was smiling as she chatted with her friend. There was no doubt in my mind that she was the most stunning woman I had ever met in my life. Beauty, brains, and wit all in one perfect package.