Chapter Nine
Natalie
I was fuming when I walked out of the restaurant, and I really had no idea what I should or could say to Jet at that point. Dinner had been an absolute disaster, and the least Jet could have done was warn me about the impending doom. As if dinner wasn't bad enough, he then got in a screaming match with his dad, and stormed out. He didn’t ask me to go with him―he just stormed out; leaving me with a bunch of people I didn’t know, in one of the most awkward situations I have ever been in. I had been humiliated, and had to sit through Jet's dad going on about Jet's level of respect, when all I wanted to do was tell him to shut the hell up.
Instead, I had slowly gotten up from the table, and without saying another word to any of them, I had walked out of the restaurant. There I found Jet sitting outside, looking like he was still going to explode if you dared touch him.
I sauntered over to him, trying to find the words to express what I was feeling at that moment. He looked up and me and tried to smile, but the storm clouds in his eyes just wouldn't allow it.
“I was starting to think you left without me.”
“Natalie, I would never do that. I was just trying to calm down before I went back in there, I'm sorry.”
“Jet, what the hell is going on between you and your father?”
“It's just the way it's always been. He wants to pass his company down to me, only me. It can't be Craig, and I just don't want any part of it. It's not the dream I want for my life, so ever since I said no, things have been like this. And that was long before we all found out that he was cheating on my mom. Now it's a minefield every time we are anywhere near each other.”
“Why did you tell them I was your girlfriend? Why would you go there? You brother for sure knew that it wasn't true.”
“Look, Natalie, I know you aren't my girlfriend, so you can just relax on that whole thing. I just didn't want my dad to have something to complain about. That I didn't have a girlfriend like Craig did. He's always comparing us. And I didn't want him to say anything about me bringing just a friend to a dinner with family; I just didn't want to go alone. I really thought if I brought you, it would have stopped the fighting from happening, but it happened anyway. All I can say is I'm sorry; it shouldn't have happened at all.”
“Well, a little warning would have been nice, Jet. I'm a big girl; I can handle conflicts. It's just alarming when they are seemingly out of the blue. The least you could have done was warn me that there was a chance there would be a fight, or at least tell me the real reason you wanted me there. Telling me you didn't want to have to sit through an awkward dinner was a little far from the truth. You should have prepared me for what would happen, instead of throwing me in a war zone without any warning.”
“Are you joking right now, Natalie?”
“No, I'm not. I think it's the least you could have done.”
“Well, why should I? You're no different. You’re very secretive about your family life, and I don't flip out about it.”
“Yeah, maybe I am, so what? The difference is, Jet, I don't sit you in front of my father and let all the secrets come out over dinner. That's the bloody difference.”
“It's not just that, Natalie. You are secretive about many things in your past. I'm pretty sure whatever happened with your last boyfriend has a lot to do with why we are so messed up.”
I laughed, shocked that he brought things right out in the open. He was right, we were pretty messed up, and I couldn't see a way of changing that. But I knew for a fact that it wasn't just my fault. If he and I remained just friends, he had some part in that as well. He had a terrible reputation, and right off the bat we had a rocky start, with him telling his roommate we had slept together before we had. I had trust issues, but he didn't help them go away, by any means.
“Well, what do you have to say, Natalie? It's not fun, right, when the tables are turned back on you, is it?”
I lost my temper, just as he had in the restaurant, and yelled at him. “My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. There, are you happy? Does that make us even in the secret sharing today, Jet?”
He looked at me in shock, and had a look on his face I couldn't quite read, but it seemed like regret.
“It wasn't just a one-night stand, either. They had carried on an affair for almost a year. This was a guy I spent three years with. I thought I was going to marry him. He left me for my best friend, and they had both been lying and sneaking around behind my back for a year. So, yeah, Jet, you're right on the money. That is exactly why you are right on the money, Jet. That's exactly why you and I are never going to be anything more than friends. Because I can bet any amount of money that you are exactly like him, and I refuse to let another man break me like that again.”
I stormed away from him as I heard him calling my name. I started running down the street until I could no longer hear him calling my name. I started looking for a cab, and since I was in a busy part of town, it wasn't long before a cab pulled up to the curb. There were tears running down my cheeks as I got into the cab and closed the door behind me. I looked behind me, and saw no sign of Jet searching for me. I gave the cabbie my address, and began sobbing in the back of the cab. The cabbie asked me if I was okay, if I needed him to call someone. I just shook my head, and lay back against the seat. I closed my eyes as tears streamed down my face. I was mortified by how the evening had gone, but even more so, I was hurt that Jet hadn't fixed it, but instead had gone on the attack.
Maybe I should have been more honest with Jet, and told him about my past, but I was trying to keep things neutral between us in order for me to protect myself. I didn't want to deal with my emotions with someone like Jet. He was always so tough, and considering his own past with women, how did I know he hadn't done the exact same thing to a girl as Tom had done to me?
I was fairly certain at that point, however, that I was finished with Jet permanently. I couldn't keep going on that roller coaster ride of emotion and regret with him any longer. It was becoming glaringly obvious that we couldn't even maintain a normal friendship, so I thought it was just time to cut the cord and move on with my life. I groaned when I realized that I would have to start from scratch with my art project, and find a new subject. I would have to do three drawings in one month to make sure I was back on schedule. The creative story I could still salvage, because essentially it was fiction, and I could just tell whatever story I wanted to. Maybe I could try to have Jet and me live happily ever after in the story; it was, after all, just fiction. I wiped away my tears, and decided that I would send Jet a message before bed, after I had calmed down, and let him know that I felt that contact should be broken at that point, and that I didn't even want to be friends anymore.
The cab pulled up to my apartment. I paid the guy and got out, closing the door behind me. I headed up to my apartment slowly, not feeling like I had any energy at all. I knew Julie was home, so the door would be unlocked. I opened the door and walked in, seeing her drinking a beer on the couch watching an old episode of Sex and the City.
“Oh my God, you are home early? And you're crying? Oh no, what happened?”
I started crying harder now, feeling totally and hopelessly lost at that moment. She flew off the couch and came over to me. She wrapped her arms around me, and hugged me tight as I cried in her arms. When my tears stopped flowing, she patted me on the back and led me over to the couch, where she handed me a box of Kleenex. I dabbed at my eyes, and blew my nose repeatedly. Julie went to the fridge and grabbed me a beer, cracking it open before she got back to me. She handed me the beer and I took a long―very long―pull on it, and emptied half of the bottle. I leaned back into the couch and pointed at the TV.
“Yup, just one of those nights. One of Jet's friends actually asked me out, which I was really excited about because he's super hot. But by the time I got home from school I was no longer in the mood to go out, so I postponed it for another night, and decided to be lazy,” Julie answered my unspoken question.
I laughed. “It's probably best to keep them guessing anyway, right?”
“You got it. He's been messaging me all night ever since. I think he's worried that I got a better offer.”
We laughed. It felt nice to laugh again. I didn't know what the heck I was going to do with myself but for the time being. I was gonna sit there and laugh with my new best friend. She watched me as I continued to swig my beer. She took a few sips of hers before she started in. “So, are you going to tell me what happened? Did he try to get in your pants again?” she asked jokingly.
“Well if he did, at least this time I would have been sober.”
“Okay, so what really happened, Natalie? You’re a mess, and I don't understand how going out to a fancy family dinner ended like this.”
I sighed and explained the whole evening to her. Right from beginning to end. How he had picked me up for dinner, and laid praise to me and then took me to a fancy Italian restaurant. The kind of fancy restaurant where the waiter came around and filled our wine glasses while we ate.
I told her how everything seemed to be going great until Jet's father started giving him a hard time about MMA, something I had no idea he didn't like about his son's life. I talked about how Jet had a brother named Craig, who sat and defended him all through dinner.
Julie patiently sat there and listened as I told her how the fight escalated as Jet's father wanted him to work for his company, how he thought MMA was a joke, and basically railed on Jet about every aspect of his life right down to why he didn't have a part-time job. I explained how Jet exploded and yelled in front of everyone at the restaurant, how his dad’s girlfriend was labeled a whore, and how I also learned that Jet's dad had cheated on his wife with the “whore” at the table.
I finished my explanation with how Jet had stormed out of the restaurant, leaving me there with his family, and how I had gone out to talk to him, only to get into a huge fight with him about secrets, the past, my ex, and the fact that we would only ever be just friends. I was exhausted by the time I finished the story. I downed the rest of my beer while Julie sat there looking shell-shocked. I got up, went to the kitchen, and grabbed us both another beer. I headed back into the living room and plopped back down on the couch.
“Jet actually called his dad's girlfriend a whore?”
I laughed. “Yeah, it was something to see, for sure.”
“Oh my God, how do I keep missing these things? That whole story was better than watching an episode of The Guiding Light.”
“I know. I feel emotionally drained from being a part of it.”
“Well, that's one hell of a story, Natalie. There's clearly a lot of history between Jet and his dad that they will probably have to work out together, or maybe just not be a part of each other’s lives.”
I nodded, feeling sad about the whole thing. Poor Jet. I knew what it was like to have dysfunction in the family, and I also didn't have the best relationship with my dad. It was nothing like Jet's issues, but we had our own issues we had to figure out.
“Anyway, I decided that I would send a message to Jet later tonight, and tell him I want to break contact. I don't even want to be friends anymore.”
“Well, why would you do a thing like that?”
I looked at her, confused. “Isn't it obvious? Look at us―we're a mess, and we can't seem to figure things out properly. I don't want things to continue on like this; we are far too complicated for two people who are just friends.”
“Well, for one thing, you guys were never just friends.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, even if you leave out the sex that's happened between you two, you are way more than just friends. He for sure has wanted more from you right from the beginning, but you have just chosen to ignore his wants out of fear. But even leaving that part out, look at the two of you together. Everyone can see it Natalie, that's why no one can figure out why you aren't together with him. I understand you’re scared of getting hurt because of what happened with Tom, but unless you're going to become a nun, you have to learn to trust someone eventually.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You guys have great chemistry, and you have a blast together, and hello―he's hot. The sex is great ... I can keep going on if you want. I think it's a mistake to have a friends with benefits pact with this guy, but I think it’s an even bigger mistake for you to drop him out of your life completely. I think you want something serious with Jet; you're just too scared to do anything about it.”
I stared at her, shocked, and wondered how right she was about everything. I decided to hold off on my text to Jet, and see how I felt about things in the morning.