The rest of Seth’s deployment went by slowly. I started a job as a journalist for a local women’s magazine. It wasn’t my favorite job, but it was work. It kept me busy. I started a journal. I wanted Seth to have it if he ever had to leave again. So that he’d have a page to read every single day, and then he would never forget I missed him as much as he missed me. I probably missed him much more. I sent Seth care packages bi-weekly. Usually, I sent things he had asked for. Most were normal comforts of home the guys didn’t get in a war zone. The PJs didn’t get to really leave their small base, so it was whatever they had there and that was it. He would ask for new underwear, and I’d send the most ridiculous pairs I could find, usually with hearts or some silly saying across the ass. He’d ask for nudes. I might’ve sent those, too. He’d ask for batteries, books, magazines.

Like I said, pretty normal stuff. But sometimes? Sometimes his requests were just plain weird. Once he asked for a box of condiments. I remember laughing because I thought he had said “condoms” and I was staring at him via video like he was a crazy person. I remember asking if I should be worried that Matt had finally taken the top dog throne, and it was only then that I realized he said condiments. He picked on me for weeks about how my mind was in the gutter. Anyway, he wanted all the condiments. And he wanted construction paper and glue.

He asked for balloons and whipped cream one time. I was too scared to ask what he was doing with whip cream and balloons, but I sent every item he asked for as quickly as I could get a box together and get to the post office. I’d always hide something a little naughty in the box at the very bottom, under whatever packaging protection I used. The first time it was found by Matt. It had just been a picture of me in one of Seth’s Air Force PT tees, so not a huge deal. It was just Matt, after all. I had plenty of ammo on him by talking with Katie. But still, lesson learned about physical naughty things in the mail.

After that incident, Seth always opened the box from the bottom up and got whatever item I had sent out from the bottom before the box was ransacked by the rest of the guys. Care packages were fun. I enjoyed putting them together, and it made me feel like I was keeping our spark alive by never letting him believe I had forgotten about him. While far away, that man was never out of my heart. That was one thing that would never change throughout his military career.

I hung out with other deployed soldiers’ wives. We all pretty much tried to avoid the topic of war and the fact that our guys might never come home. I didn’t really enjoy hanging out with all of them. Some of them were pretty catty, but it did make time go by faster. We complained a lot, but honestly, in hindsight, I could’ve been married to a drug dealer. That would’ve been a hell of a lot worse than being married to a PJ. But in my early twenties, I just wanted to have sex with my husband and hold his hand and do ridiculously cute things together. When we got the word they were coming home, I was overjoyed to say the least. He called to tell me, but I had already heard and I was literally squealing like a teenager who’d just scored tickets to the best boy band concert in town. I remember the soft twinkle in his eye that day. I’ll never forget how genuinely happy he sounded for the first time in months.

A few weeks later, I waited for him at the airport. I seriously thought I was going to piss my pants waiting to see his face. I learned to believe time actually stopped that day. Seeing him come down the ramp, when his eyes met mine, nothing else mattered. Seth has never been a small guy. He had always had a swimmer’s build, but now he looked and felt like someone who spent more time in the gym than in the pool. His hair was cut down, buzzed, but I could tell he needed to clean it up. He had a three-day beard from traveling back to the states. Fuck, I loved that scruff. It would sadly have to go sooner rather than later, but who the fuck cared? My husband was finally freaking home.

I had tunnel vision. He had the hungriest yet happiest eyes I had ever laid eyes on, and hot damn he had really gotten buff. I started walking toward him, and before I knew it, we were running into each other. He picked me up, his now much larger biceps embracing me. I buried my face in his chest, my feet off the ground. I could feel him breathing me in just as much as I was breathing him in. He had one hand around the back of my head and one hand around my waist. My legs were wrapped around him like a little monkey, and my hair was in a messy red bun. When he finally set me down, tears I hadn’t even noticed falling started to feel cool under the air conditioning. He dried my tears with his now rough and calloused thumbs and kissed me softly. I put my hand over his and leaned my cheek in to his rugged hand. I remember how gently he caressed my cheek. It was amazing to me how hands so rough could feel so smooth.

“I like your hair, red.” He smiled, teasing me about my vibrant red hair as he leaned down to kiss me once more. That kiss burned my soul. I swear I can still feel it on my lips today. It wasn’t forceful or rushed, but it was needy. It was soft at first. Almost new again. But once our lips remembered each other’s habits, we were completely lost in each other and we didn’t give a damn as to who saw.

“Get a room, Blaze!” Ryan yelled. I saw Hannah, one of the wives I actually liked hanging out with, slap him in the arm before they embraced again.

I blushed. “So the ‘Blaze’ thing is here to stay, I guess.” I smiled up at him, not wanting to move away from him. Just feeling his skin on parts of mine was better than any sex I’d ever had after all those months apart.

“Let’s go home.” He leaned down, whispering in my ear and making me turn into that seventeen-year-old girl who fell in love with him years ago. He bro hugged all the guys while I hugged all the wives, and we all said we’d see each other at the welcome back party. We wanted our guys to ourselves. None of that party stuff tonight. The wives had decided weeks ago that the night they returned would be for “settling in,” and I don’t think any of the guys minded.

Seth took my hand in his, picked up his bag, and we walked out of the airport and to our car. I drove. He said the travel had exhausted him, and in the sunlight, he did look tired. My poor guy. What had happened to him over there? I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to know, but I would listen to whatever he decided he wanted to tell me.

When we got home, Seth stood in the doorway for a few seconds longer than he usually would have. He looked at his surroundings, and I watched this sense of calm come over him. I pulled his hand to bring him inside, and he shut the door behind him quietly. He let go of my hand, walking through each room, leaving the bedroom for last. He set his bag down, walked back out, and picked me up, carrying me like a small child over his shoulder.

“Seth, what…?” I laughed as he smacked my ass.

“I need to feel every inch of you,” he said gruffly as he tossed me down onto the bed. I watched him slowly unbutton his uniform and pull it off as he crawled over me. He slid his knee between my legs, rubbing it against me, burning me up as he ran his fingertips along my jaw then down my neck and into the collar of my shirt.

“Your eyes are dark, Mads.” He grinned. “Fuck, I missed that.” He kissed me urgently. With no one to stop us, our clothes were off in record time. He leaned over to the drawer where we usually kept condoms. Neither of us really trusted birth control. Too many people we knew got surprise babies on the magical pill. There were only two condoms there, and both were expired. He looked at me with frustration in his eyes, and I just started laughing. Then he laughed too. A real laugh. We were there, naked and needy but reveling in each other’s momentary happiness.

I shrugged. “It’s not like I needed them. I didn’t exactly keep stock.” I laughed, pulling the sheet over my chest.

He smiled this brilliant smile. “True,” he said as he claimed my lips with his again.

I moaned into his mouth as I felt him slide his hand down over my hips, and after what seemed like years, over my lips before dipping into me. It hurt, after not being touched for six months, outside of by my own hands, but it also felt so good. It wasn’t enough. I needed him. I thrusted my hips up to meet his hands before reaching down and grabbing his wrist. “I’m still on the pill. It’s okay. It’s been months since I started on it. I take it every day on time. We’re married. We should be able to do the dirty without condoms.” I groaned.

He nodded, smiling with no argument. “Thank fucking god.”

As he hovered over me with his tall frame and began to slide in between my legs, I whimpered. “What, baby girl?” he said, stroking his cock lightly while sliding it up and down in between my lips.

“I need...” I groaned. “Fuck,” I said, my breath catching. “I need you.”

He didn’t need anything more than that. He plunged into me. It hurt again, but it also felt fucking amazing. He filled me up, and I wanted more. My body missed the way it melded against his while he was pressed into me. He pulled my legs around his hips and gripped my thighs as he slid in and out of me at a slow but hard pace. We had never had sex without protection. Feeling his warm skin touching the most sensitive parts of me, and inside of me, threw me over the edge way quicker than I had ever thought possible. He gripped my hips, and I felt him throb inside of me as he leaned down, biting my collarbone. I ran my hands through his buzzed, dark hair, pulling his face to my chest as he sucked and nibbled along my collarbone and up my neck. He pulled all the way out, and I whimpered.

“What’s wrong?” I gasped.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, smiling to himself. “Just forgot how good it fucking feels to be buried deep inside of you, and feeling you directly on me and around me is intense. I don’t know how much longer I can last, and I’ll be motherfucking damned if my girl doesn’t get off after we’ve been apart so long.”

I gasped as he started to work me again with his hand. He slid two fingers into me and rubbed my clit with his thumb. I was already so close. I all but screamed his name.

“Fuck! Seth, I’m so close. Please fuck me.”

I had never felt so needy. I had never let myself go long enough to be this needy before. He loved it. He entered me again, quickly this time. I wrapped my legs around his hips again as he slammed into me, gripping my hips so hard I would most definitely have bruises. I came with little warning and could feel myself throbbing around him. It was one of the most amazing feelings ever, and then he came inside of me and it was enough to almost push me over the edge a second time. I was so sensitive from my first climax, and feeling all of that warmth enter me made my legs shake and my moans come louder than they ever had before.

As we both came down from our highs, he reached up and pushed my hair out of my face gently. “That was… different.”

He laughed.

“I mean, you’re a savage,” I told him, smiling.

“God, I missed you. I love you so goddamn much,” he said softly as he took my lips captive again before I even got a chance to reply.