I missed everything about her. I missed how she looked with my hoodie on, so long it looked like a dress. I wondered how it would look on her pregnant belly. I probably wondered about how she looked carrying our child more than was considered healthy, but I kept wondering anyway. I absolutely couldn’t wait to hold her and talk to her belly. I missed how she brought so much chaos to my military lifestyle. I missed looking for her keys because she couldn’t remember where she tossed them down, and the same for her bras. She would just toss them wherever they fell, all around the house, the moment she walked through the door. She always said “Home is where the bra is not!” It made me smile. I missed messy dresser drawers. I missed finding those little clip things she put in her hair to keep her little baby hairs out of the way. They were always in the weirdest fucking places. Maddie could be very particular. If she wanted a certain shirt, she’d tear the house apart to find it. When Mads was on the hunt for my very first Air Force tee I ever brought home, she made quite the mess—every single time. I just missed the hurricane that was Maddie.

I emailed to tell her as much. It was important to me that she realized how much I missed every single piece of her. I even kind of missed the tantrums she would so often throw when I didn’t give in to her requests in a sufficient amount of time. She could be really bossy, in that adorable and cute kinda way.

It only seemed like a few days later, but what was actually a few weeks later, I was on my way home. It wouldn’t be for long, and I hadn’t broken the news to Mads yet. I was dreading telling her I wouldn’t be there when our daughter was born. I cried for a solid night when I found out. Silently, in my bed I had made in our little gypsy town on base. My country needed me though, and I knew Maddie understood my need to help not only our soldiers but these kids and women and innocent civilians caught in the midst of all of the gunfire. I knew how bad it was going to fucking suck to tell her, so I didn’t. I couldn’t tell them no. I couldn’t tell her no, either. It was a tough place to be in, so I kept it to myself for as long as I possibly could. It was easier than seeing the heartbreak written all over her face.

Maddie sent me text after text and selfie after selfie once she knew I had my phone turned back on. She was so crazy. It was and still is kind of crazy how she turned me on. She’d always send funny faces when I was connected to Wi-Fi on my flight, and any time I had the luxury of having a good signal on base, we’d chat on any random chat client and flirt via text. The guys around me literally never let it go how she blew up my phone. I guess it would bother some guys, but knowing I was on her mind made me feel good. She was an addictive drug. I couldn’t put her down, and I couldn’t not answer her messages. More than that though, I couldn’t wait to fucking see her. I couldn’t wait to feel her body wrapped up in mine. I couldn’t wait to see the belly she had now. I couldn’t wait to feel my daughter kick. I was ready to get home, plain and simple.

When I got her in my arms I didn’t want to let go. But I had plans. Big ones. We were on each other before we even got into the car. My hand was on her thigh the whole way home. When we got inside, I set my bag down gently, took her hand without turning on any lights, and guided her to our bedroom.

“What are you doing, crazy man?” She laughed at me. She knew I liked to see how she writhed in pleasure underneath my touch. This “lights off” thing made no sense to her.

“Shhh.” I took her lips with mine.

“But I wore new lace panties!” She pouted, while smiling against my kiss.

“Good,” I whispered back just before I bit down softly on her bottom lip. I ran my nose along her jawline up to her ear, then spent some time on that spot on her neck just below her ear. I smiled when I felt the goose bumps break out underneath the lines I was tracing with my fingertips, up and down her arms as I kissed her.

“Lay down,” I whispered as I backed her up against the side of our bed. I quickly removed my shirt as I shook my boots off. I could only see her from the moonlight and street lights streaming in through the bedroom window, but fuck she looked so goddamn gorgeous.

“Do you not want to see me pregnant?” she asked shyly, suddenly, and very quietly.

“Pshhh. I can’t wait to kiss that belly. I just wanna feel you right now. Not be taken away any more than I already am by how stunning you look carrying our child,” I started as I moved closer to her.

“I wanna feel these goose bumps that pop up when I do this.” I ran my now even more rugged fingertips along her inner thigh up to the point where her shorts put a stop to any additional movements from my fingers.

“Oh.” She gulped. “No complaints from the peanut gallery then.” She giggled.

I growled under my breath at her giggle. I knew I wasn’t going to last after being gone so long, so I got to work on those shorts as I leaned down to kiss her again. I lifted her shirt over her baby belly and kissed her from the top of her now open denim shorts all the way up to her bra, trailing my fingers down her body in the opposite direction. When I slipped them into her shorts, she let out a gasp and her hips bucked up and into my hand.

“Atta girl,” I whispered in her ear as I teased her through her panties.

“Fuck. Seth. I need to touch you,” she practically begged me.

“No, ma’am,” I said as I slipped my hand into her panties and began playing with her clit.

She gripped my wrist. Not to stop me, but because it felt good. It was her tell. She’d never be able to fake it with me. I knew how to get her close. I felt her grip get tighter, and I knew she was where I wanted her.

I sat up, taking her in as I slipped my pants and boxer briefs off at the same time. I followed suit with her shorts and lace panties.

She was just lying there in her tee and a bra, awaiting my next touch. It was a beautiful sight to see and a glorious feeling to have.

Once I knew she wasn’t hanging on the edge anymore, I tasted her. Sweet as always. “Fuck, I could eat this for the rest of my life.” I groaned as my cock began to really throb. “You taste so fucking good, Mads.” I moaned into her.

She was writhing under my hands and mouth and moaning my name, and if a woman’s moan could be my undoing, hers was the one to do it.

When I knew she was close again, I slowly slid my cock into her. She was whimpering for more while I enjoyed every single centimeter as I slid into her.

I tugged her legs to pull her to the edge of the bed and slipped all the way into her, both of us letting out a loud moan at the same time.

“Goddammit, Madelyn.” I groaned as I just rested with her legs around my waist and my hips pressed to hers.

“You feel so fucking good.” She groaned. “Please fuck me.”

How can you deny a woman carrying your child when she begs you to fuck her?

I didn’t, so I wouldn’t know the answer to that question.

I tried to go slow. I wanted to enjoy every sensation. I knew I was going back quickly because I had been dealing with the stress of it for a couple of days. She didn’t though.

She didn’t need to know right now, either.

As I took every inch of skin she gave me, I remembered why I do what I do. I do it to come home to the beautiful girl I call my wife.

When I finished and came deep inside of her, I felt her come too. She never could hold back when she felt me empty myself into her.

“Fuck.” She moaned softly.

“Mmm hmm.” I smiled at her. “Be right back.”

She nodded against my shoulder, and I got up and quickly cleaned myself off before turning on the light and walking toward her again.

“Now about this beautiful belly,” I started.

She grinned as I curled up beside her, talking to our unborn child. I was running my fingertips along her belly, kissing her cheeks, playing with her hair. I was doing anything and everything I could to take her in.

I knew it wouldn’t be for long, and it was breaking my heart. But I was determined to soak up every single bit of good I could before I broke the news.