Being exhausted all the time was…exhausting. At least that’s how it felt to me. Only two weeks had passed since Keane had killed Maeve before she could kill me, but somehow it felt like months, maybe years had gone by. I couldn’t sleep or eat or do anything other than watch reruns of nineties comedies and read, because every time my mind had a free unoccupied minute, it went back to that day. Back to Keane with that cold angry look on his face and he aimed that gun at me.

I knew he wouldn’t shoot me, of course I knew that, but just knowing the reason he’d done what he had, was enough. I’d come as close to dying as a person could and still be alive, and I didn’t feel grateful for it. I just felt scared. Hollow. Broken.

But the good news, if anything about the past few weeks, few months could be considered good, was that I officially have my degree. Diploma in hand, I felt more than ready to start a new chapter in my life. Dad and Rosie were gone on their cruise, because apparently his new life was more important than me or Keane’s freedom. As much as I hated it, I realized that it gave me the space I needed to live my own life. On my terms.

Thanks to Alan I had a spot performing personal cyber security for a tech firm in Washington State, and in another few weeks I would be on my way. To a new job. A new life. As Fiona McGregor because taking Mom’s maiden name would make me harder to find and less conspicuous to those with a passing knowledge of Irish mafia history.

And most of all—good or bad—I would be thousands of miles away from Keane.

“You know Fi, you say you want me to see you as an adult but here you are. Running away. Again.”

I knew he wouldn’t leave me alone for much longer, the few days since he’d last stopped by had been a reprieve. Not a pardon.

“If it makes you feel better to think that.” I couldn’t look at him, it hurt too much. It would pierce my heart to look into those green eyes again, so I did everything I could to avoid them.

“Makes me feel better? Don’t act like any of this is for me Fiona. You’re leaving, running away like a scared little child.”

I whirled around. “Do you blame me? Why should I stay here where I’ll always look over my shoulder? Where I’m not wanted? I know you think I’m a nuisance, now I won’t be your problem. You should be happy.” My gaze finally settled on his, and dammit, my heart skidded to a stop and then raced like hell at the sight of him. Reddish blonde hair had grown a little longer than normal and his pale skin made his eyes a little greener. That sharp jaw, and that mouth—god that mouth!—just made me relive every moment we’d spent caught up in one another. In bed.

“Happy? You think I should be happy?” He took a few steps closer, stopping when he was close enough that I could smell him. “I am a lot of things right now Fiona. Angry. Frustrated. Hurt. What I am not, is happy that you’re leaving me.”

Leaving him? “You’re kidding, right? Why would I stay when you always second guess me, so quick to think the worst of me. When you look at me and still see the little girl with pigtails and braces?” I closed the gap between us and jabbed at his chest. Hard. “You don’t want me.” Another push. “You’re just upset because you’ll be as alone and lonely as I’ve always been.” I pushed his chest again and again and once more because I couldn’t stop.

He grabbed my wrists and held me close. Too close. “Maybe that’s true enough, but maybe it’s just because I’ll be lonely without you.”

I shivered when he lifted his hand and traced my jawline with one finger. The move, so simple and so light, tore apart something inside of me. I wished I could just rip myself from his arms and sever the hold he had on me.

“I’m sure you’ll learn to live without me. You’ve done it just fine for years.”

“No I haven’t Fi. Do you know how hard it’s been to see you and want you all these years and know that I couldn’t have you?” His words came out on a growl that made me shiver. So raw and emotional, I could feel the longing.

But was it enough? I wasn’t sure. “No Keane I don’t, because instead of giving me an inkling of how you felt, you chose to make me feel like a pest.”

“I couldn’t do a damn thing about how I felt Fiona!” Big strong hands cupped my jaw and held me close, pressing his forehead to mine. “How could I?”

“You killed a woman to protect me, but opening your mouth would have been what, too hard?”

“Yes dammit! Seamus is my best friend and you’re his daughter. How could I tell him I’d fallen for you?”

That’s it. I’d heard enough. “Yet I’m supposed to believe you when you tell me now, when no one is around.” Of course he thought I would, because I’d always loved every single thing about him. He could do no wrong in my eyes. Absolutely perfect.

“Yes, you are.”

“Give me one good reason I should.”

Instead of words, Keane pulled me forward and thrust his fingers in my hair, kissing me long and hard until my legs shook. I gave back as good as I got, pouring everything into a kiss I was pretty sure would be the last we shared. I opened to him and savored the flavor of whiskey and Keane on my tongue, enjoyed the way his hands roamed my body and left a trail of fire in its wake.

He pulled back, as breathless as I felt. “I’m no fucking good with words Fi. I use my fists or whatever weapons I have to get my point across. But I can’t do any of that with you.” He kissed me again, this time sweet and soft. Loving. “You want a good reason Fiona? How about because I fucking love you. Is that a good enough reason?”

He’d finally rendered me speechless. I stood with my mouth gaping in disbelief like a suffocating fish, unable to believe the words he’d just said. “Maybe I really was hit by that bullet and now I’m in a coma, dreaming this.” That had to be it, because if not, that meant Keane had just said he loved me. “You…do?”

“I do. I never could have slept with you, risking everything. Unless it meant everything. Which it did.”

The smile spread slowly from one side of my face to the other, his words lifting me higher than I’d ever felt in my life. Could this be true? I, dorky little Fiona O’Malley actually got the man of her dreams?

“I guess this is where I tell you that I love you too.”

“Not if you don’t.”

“You know I do.”

“I hoped that you still loved me, but I knew I couldn’t count on it after everything we’ve gone through.”

How could I not love this man? Despite how big and brawny, masculine and tough he was, the vulnerability and uncertainty in his eyes told me how important my answer was to him. “Even when I hate you, I still love you Keane. It’s kind of my thing, you know.”

“You’re killing me here, Fi.”

“What will you do when my dad comes back? Hide me in the closet?”

“No,” he answered fiercely, “I’ll tell him that I’m in love with you and you’re my girl. My woman.”

My brain told me to go slow, that maybe Keane was telling me what I wanted to hear. But my heart told me the truth. That as hard as it would be to hold our love close, he did love me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brushed a gentle kiss against his mouth before I whispered in his ear, “I love you too Keane. So much.”

“I love you too Fiona.” He whispered softly.

“Good. Show me.” I wrapped my arms tight around his shoulders, pressing my mouth to his. He moaned when I licked his lower lip and squeezed my ass, pulling me closer to his hardness.

He pulled back suddenly. “I love you Fiona but I am not fucking you in Seamus’ house.”

I laughed hard at his tortured words, tempting him by rubbing against him. “You don’t think I could tempt you?”

“Oh I know you could. Or you could pack and let me fuck you all night at my place.”

I shivered and shoved my hands down his pants. “Lucky for you that sounds incredible.” I let him hoist my bag up and pull me through the house and into his sexy black car. “Or we could pull over somewhere and I can experience car sex for the first time.” I wiggled my brows at him.

He choked out a strangled laugh and grabbed my hand, kissing the back. “How about up against the wall sex?”

My sex clenched at the visual my mind created. “Kitchen table sex?”

“How about I lay you on the table and make you the meal?”

I shivered. “Deal.”

Keane chuckled and placed a hand on my thigh, slowly gliding up to where I ached, dripped for him. “But first, we make love.”

“That’ll be new.” And I couldn’t wait to see what it felt like.

* * *

“You’re what?”

I expected Keane to be upset when I told him about my plans and my new job, but I didn’t expect the red-faced anger looking down at me now. “Why did you think I was packing?”

“I thought you’d found another apartment where you felt safer. You let me tell you all that shit when you knew you were leaving?”

“Oh so loving me was only if I stayed around? Good to know, Keane.” I felt as though everything had changed in an instant. My skin was still slick from our loving making—on the kitchen table, thank you very much—and already things had turned to shit. “Sorry.”

“Dammit Fiona get back here.” He grasped my wrist and pulled me back onto him. “I do love you, so fucking much and you cant expect me to be happy you want to leave me.”

“Well, when I took the job you didn’t want me so I didn’t think about you, other than putting distance between us.” I couldn’t tell him that even when I hated him I didn’t want to leave because he would use it against me. He would tempt me to stay, using every tool in his impressive arsenal.

“And now?” he grabbed my hips and moved me back and forth so I slid along his erection, leaving a glistening trail of my juices.

“Now I don’t know. It’s only a six-month contract to start, and I feel like I need to do this. For me.”

He digested that bit of info for a long moment. “I agree.”

I frowned. “Are you trying to get rid of me now?”

He pressed a kiss to my throat and licked a trail of fire to my ear. “Hell no, I’ll miss you like crazy. But when you come back to me I want it to be because you want to be here, not because I convinced you to stay with me.”

“And you’re so convinced I will come back?”

“I think you love me as much as I love you, so yeah, I think you’ll be back.”

“I do love you, ya know. More than anything.”