Chapter Eighteen
Over the next eight weeks, Jade came to terms with her situation as much as one could expect. She’d notified her landlord that she would be moving and temporarily moved into Kat and Tyson’s home while Tyson painted the cottage down the street. Kat’s old rental property was the perfect location. It was in a good school district, the landlord was an old friend, there was a great babysitter in the neighborhood, and it was only two houses away from her best friend. It was the safest place she could go.
Jade took Lily’s referral and was slowly working through her issues with Dr. Chloe Wolfe, a family therapist who specialized in posttraumatic stress. Dr. Wolfe was a godsend with a natural gift for listening.
Jade expected the therapist to do exercises to help jog her memory, but Dr. Wolfe wasn’t interested in that. She was more concerned with helping Jade cope with the after-effects of the assault. The frustrating fragments of her memories would always be there. Sometimes they hit her with sharp, shocking force and other times they rested quietly in the background.
Dr. Wolfe was training her to prepare for the days ahead. And Jade found herself anxious to stop dwelling on the past.
Therapy helped Jade emotionally prepare for the many ways her life would change once the baby arrived. As a small baby bump took shape, her concern turned to her parents. Dr. Wolfe was also helping her find the courage to finally tell them she was pregnant.
They spoke a lot about anxiety, from that night, in regard to her parents, the inevitable approach of becoming a parent, but most of all they talked about Jeremy. The heartache she still felt from pushing him away never seemed to fade.
Living at Kat’s created some awkward moments when Jeremy came to pick up or drop off Mia. The first time he stopped by, Jade hid in the shadows at the top of the stairs and listened—hoping he’d somehow come to forgive her for all the things he didn’t understand.
“Is she here?” he asked Kat.
“Yes, but she’s resting.”
“What’s going on with her, Kat? I’m worried.”
“It’s not my place to say, Jeremy. I’m sorry.”
“Is she okay?” His voice cracked. “None of this makes any sense.”
“She’ll be okay. She just needs time.”
“I just… I just don’t understand what happened. She didn’t even give us a chance.”
“Maybe she gave you all she could right now.”
“Why, though? Why start something she had no intention of finishing? I need to speak to her.”
Jade drew back and Kat hardened her tone. “Jeremy—”
“Is she up there?” The shuffling of his shoes whispered in the foyer. “Jade?” The echo of his voice set another crack in her heart.
“Jeremy.” Kat repeated his name in her stern mother voice.
“I just want to know that she’s okay. The things I said to her…”
Jade’s hand covered her mouth as her chest ached. She wanted to go to him, but nothing had changed. She couldn’t be with him and the idea of telling him everything that happened destroyed something inside of her. She didn’t have confidence to spare right now and baring her soul to him might steal the last scrap of her delicate self-worth.
“She’s okay, but you can’t push her, Jeremy.”
“I need to hear it from her. She won’t even take my calls.”
“I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be right now. You have to respect her privacy.”
For as traumatic as her situation was, she was managing it—every day, every hour, it was baggage she never put down. The only thing she couldn’t bear was the pain of losing Jeremy. It was an ache that consumed her heart and wouldn’t heal.
The only distraction, aside from going to work, was the rapidly developing affection for the one person who would soon be her everything. Her child.
Her life had been overhauled by this pregnancy and she welcomed the simplicity of her new routine. Sometimes stillness was good, Dr. Wolfe had come to teach her. Jade embraced the still moments between work and the daily grind. And she seemed to be evolving on some fundamental level she didn’t know she possessed.
Her job—now day shifts—had always been a satisfying part of her life, but it was no longer enough to fill the void of all the missing pieces. It was a great distraction, a place to build confidence and serve a purpose that helped others. But no one at work, aside from Lily, knew the battle she fought silently on a daily basis. Everything was changing.
She developed a serious aversion to poultry, had an unhealthy relationship with peanut butter, and found a new level of bliss in napping. Whenever there was a chance to sleep, Jade took it. Every night around eight-thirty, she took her prenatal vitamins, chugged a glass of milk, and headed to bed. It was perfectly acceptable because Mia was keeping the same schedule.
As she sat outside in the cooling autumn weather, enjoying the subdued sunlight while waiting for Kat to finish in the shower, Jade thought about Jeremy. Her mind always went back to him.
It was an indulgence she rarely allowed herself. She missed seeing his smile, missed his humor, his kisses, his strength, and his friendship. She missed him.
His calls came less and less often as the weeks passed, which was for the best. Along with the heartache of losing Jeremy, came the guilt for hurting him. Sooner or later he’d meet someone new and forget all about her—a gutting hypothetical that would eventually be reality.
But today was not the day to dwell on heartache. In a few hours, she was going to her first official OB appointment with Lily. She was going to hear her baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
“You ready?” Kat asked as she opened the sliding door.
Jade glanced at her phone and frowned. “It’s still early.” Her appointment wasn’t for another few hours.
“I know. I figured we could stop at that new maternity store before your appointment. I know you’re picky about clothes, so I figured we better start shopping for your maternity wardrobe now.”
She laughed. “You know me so well. I never turn down a chance for shopping.”
They hit three stores, then a Mediterranean café for lunch. Jade was constantly eating or sleeping. Everything else came second. Her obsession with food replaced prior obsessions with shoes and purses, although, she did manage to snag a Coach diaper bag on clearance.
Just as she returned from the ladies room—peeing was also a new obsession—she noticed a shift in Kat’s mood, which didn’t make sense after such a delicious lunch and a morning of shopping.
As soon as she reached the table Kat gathered her purse and bags. “We’re leaving.”
“Are you okay—”
“Now,” she snapped, tossing money on the table.
Jade grabbed her bags and followed her out the door. When they reached the sidewalk, a masculine voice called out. “Kat?”
Jade stopped, but her agitated friend continued briskly walking toward the car. The man called her name again and finally, Kat turned with fury in her eyes.
Whoa. Jade looked between the unfamiliar man following them to the sidewalk and her friend. “Kat, what’s going on?”
Rather than answer, she tossed Jade the keys. “Do me a favor and wait for me in the car.” Then she pivoted and walked back toward the restaurant.
Jade put the key in the lock and frowned. What was she, a dog? She wasn’t waiting in the freaking car. Turning, she squinted at the man approaching Kat. He was average height, with brown hair, a neatly trimmed beard, and small, beady eyes.
In three charging steps Kat—a typically non-confrontational person—was in his face. What the hell?
“What do you want?”
Unsure what to do, Jade left the car and sped to her friend’s aide. The man leaned back and held up his hands in surrender as Kat railed at him.
“Kitty Kat, what’s the matter? I just wanted to say hello.”
Jade’s lip curled at the purr in his voice. Ew. Just ew. Who was this douche-canoe?
Kat’s face distorted with rage and darkened. “Do not call me that! My name is Katherine, but you can call me Mrs. Adams! You and the pack of vermin you keep company with are nothing more than a group of criminals. I should have you arrested!”
He held up his hands defensively. “Whoa, Kat, what are you talking about?” He seemed genuinely concerned with her stability, as was Jade, at the moment.
Kat viciously swatted his hand out of the way and he scowled. In a waspish tone, she snapped, “You know exactly what I’m talking about!”
“What the hell’s your problem?”
Jade took a step forward, unsure what exactly was happening. A car sped to the curb behind her and a door opened and closed, but her eyes were glued to Kat and the man about to be assaulted by a woman half his size. People exiting the restaurant gathered at the sidelines, but that didn’t stop Kat from making a scene.
“You! You’re my problem!” she shouted, crowding him again. “I know what you do! I know all about your secrets!”
“You’re insane!” With a humorless laugh, he gave up the pursuit of a friendly hello and turned back to the restaurant.
Kat viciously grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket. “Where are you going? Afraid someone might notice?”
“Get your hands off me, you crazy bitch!”
Suddenly all hell broke loose. Out of nowhere, Jeremy was there, pushing the man and growling in his face. “Watch your mouth!”
Disoriented by his sudden appearance, Jade turned and realized it was his Jeep at the curb.
“Who the fuck are you?”
Rather than answer, Jeremy shoved him. “Apologize to the lady.”
“No! I just wanted to say hello and she went ape shit. She’s a whack job.”
In a flash of movement too quick to track, Jeremy punched him in the face. The man bent his head and cursed. Kat yipped and jumped back a step just as Jade took another quick step forward.
“What the fuck’s wrong with you people?”
“Apologize!” Jeremy barked.
“For what? I don’t even know what she’s upset about!”
Jeremy looked at Kat and then Jade. Jade shrugged and looked at Kat. Her friend’s hands were clenched in trembling fists at her side. Never in her life had she seen her so angry.
“Kat?” Jeremy asked, perhaps wondering if he’d just punched an innocent man.
“You remember him, don’t you, Jeremy? When you first returned and we were at the market together?” Jeremy looked back at the man and recognition seemed to dawn. He glanced back to Kat. “What did he do to you?”
“Look,” the guy said, wiping a dab of blood from his lip. “I have no idea what’s going on. I just—”
“Shut up!” Kat snapped. “I know you know something!”
“Know what?”
Eyes wild, Kat marched to Jade, who flinched as she grabbed the collar of her blouse. “Hey!”
“You know about this!” Kat yanked the collar aside. “Don’t you?”
Time stood still. Jade’s knees buckled as bile rose. The man stood completely motionless, his stare fixed on the tiny brand. Insurmountable rage boiled in her veins, as transparent recognition registered on his face.
Jade’s lungs tightened, making it impossible to speak above a whisper. “You know about this?”
His eyes darted to hers then quickly away. Shame. She saw it, brief, but undeniable.
He knows.
He took a hasty step back, shaking his head as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. In a low voice, he said, “You’re all crazy.”
“Hey!” Jade called as he pivoted and rushed around the corner. Sheer panic sprang her into motion and she sprinted after him. “Wait!”
“Jade!” Jeremy yelled, but she wasn’t stopping until she got some answers.
Her feet pounded over the paved sidewalk as she chased after him, snagging the back of his jacket just as Jeremy caught up with her.
“Get off me!” The man snapped, yanking out of her reach. “I’m done with this. If you don’t desist I’ll sue you for assault. I’m a lawyer, I know my rights.”
“Your rights?” Delirium struck. “Your rights!” Shoving him with both hands he stumbled back. “What about my rights? Do you know something about this mark? Tell me! Tell me! Was it you? Did you do it? Did you have fun with me while I laid there like a dead animal?”
“Jesus, no! It wasn’t me! I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tiny beads of sweat gathered on his brow.
“Fucking liar!” She shoved him again. Hysteria took over. “Tell me!”
“I don’t know anything!”
“Why did this happen to me?” Gripping the collar of his jacket, she shook him with all her strength and screamed as strong arms dragged her off the man. “Who are you?”
“Enough!” Jeremy barked, restraining her. “I’m calling the cops.”
“Go ahead. She’ll be the one arrested.”
An unholy growl left her throat as she lunged, only to come up short as Jeremy restrained her.
“Jade! You need to relax.”
Her entire body shook. Giving the man her most severe glare she growled, spit gathering on her drawn lips. “Well, I know something you don’t. Your little game … you fucked up. You see, it didn’t break me. As a matter of fact, you left behind a crucial piece of evidence, and in seven months you’ll be caught.” Her hand covered her belly. “I’ve got all the evidence I need. I’ve got DNA. If you or your friends ever come within a breath of me or my child, I’ll show you what it feels like to be a victim and, I’ll make sure they’re awake for every second of my revenge.”
The man’s face paled white as snow as her words sank in. Good.
Jade pivoted and stilled. Jeremy, also pale, stared at her with wide unblinking eyes. Then there was Kat, still a furious shade of red and shaking with anger. Jade didn’t have time for this. She marched around the corner to the car. She had a heartbeat to hear.
Sliding into the passenger seat, she cranked the engine on and turned the AC on high, rubbing her belly affectionately. “Sorry. It’s all right now.”
Staring out the windshield, Jade committed the man’s face to memory, waiting for something to click. Nothing. She didn’t recognize the sound of his voice. There wasn’t anything distinguishing in his scent or the sound of his voice. Seeing him, jogged nothing as far as fragmented memories went.
She glanced at the rearview mirror. The guy was gone and Kat was speaking to Jeremy. Kat was visibly upset, pressing her hand to her forehead as Jeremy wildly gestured with his hands. Kat’s shoulders slumped and she placed a nurturing hand on her own belly.
Jade’s brow pinched. Looking down, she gasped as she realized they were each holding their stomachs in the same way.
Is she pregnant, too?
Staring out the front window, Jade tried to imagine all the ways that changed her situation. If Kat was pregnant, she wouldn’t be so alone—
The door opened, Jade smothered her excitement as Kat gripped the wheel, still quite distressed. Offering her a moment to find her bearings, she turned and sucked in a breath. Jeremy stood on the sidewalk watching her, his eyes haunted, and his expression completely unreadable.
She lowered her chin, unable to make eye contact. “I know you’re upset, Kat, but can we get out of here?” The car slowly pulled away from the curb.
They didn’t talk the entire drive to the doctor’s office. When Kat finally parked the car she turned to Jade and said, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
Her fingers tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear. “I didn’t intend for that to happen.”
Jade looked at her phone. They were already ten minutes late. She was still processing the scene at the restaurant, wondering who that guy was, how Kat knew him, and how he could possibly recognize the mark on her body. But according to her therapist, she wasn’t supposed to get lost in the spiraling vortex of what ifs, hows, and whys, so she shelved the issues to focus only on the now.
“Listen to me, a name changes nothing about my circumstances. I waited weeks for this appointment and I don’t want anything to spoil it. We’ll talk about it when we get home, okay?”
“You’re not mad?”
She wasn’t sure what she felt, mainly because she was focused on staying positive at the moment. “Kat, you’ve been my best friend my entire life. You were there when I peed my pants in Russell Fisher’s shed and when I stole the fish from Mr. Simon’s koi pond. Now, I’m not sure what animal came out of you back there, but being best friends means we accept the good, the bad, and the fugly. Whatever that was, it changes nothing. But I need my best friend now because I’m about to hear my baby’s heart beat for the first time and that’s what matters.”
Kat smiled and her shoulders noticeably relaxed. Her hand gripped Jade’s. “Let’s do this.”