Kendall: I'm home safe. Driver's name is Creed. He was super apologetic during the ride home. Good job intimidating him.
Levi: Glad to hear I don't have to hunt him down. Too tired to kick some ass tonight.
Kendall: Late night hours too much for you?
Levi: You have no idea.
***
Kendall: Hope you got some sleep. Just want to thank you again for coming to my defense last night.
Levi: I think he learned his lesson. You don't mess with one of my friends and get away with it.
Kendall: We're friends now?
Levi: Too soon? How about acquaintances?
Kendall: Ugh. That's too formal. How about friendly-ish coworkers?
Levi: Nope. Hate it.
Kendall: Frenemy.
Levi: Do you hate me that much? Mates.
Kendall: You're awful at this. I could be your sidekick. You know since I was by your side when you threatened to kick that guy's ass. I'm the Robin to your Batman.
Levi: More like the Tinkerbelle to my Peter Pan.
Kendall: The Buffy to my Willow.
Levi: Willow was a powerful witch. Some say she was more badass than Buffy.
Kendall: Damn right! You’re the Mario to my Luigi.
Levi: The Rhoda to my Mary.
Kendall: Hey, I'm the Mary.
Levi: Let's not do this...Romy.
Kendall: Okay, Michele. Got to say I'm impressed with your pop culture references. You're a Buffy fan and a Romy and Michele fan.
Levi: When you don't date and abstain from sex, you have time to watch TV. I love watching a woman that can make me laugh and badass chicks are just more entertaining to watch. So what did we decide?
Kendall: About what?
Levi: Our relationship. Are we friends?
Kendall: I like the idea of being your sidekick better but sure, we can be friends.
***
Levi: I'm watching Scooby-Doo and we're definitely Scooby and Shaggy.
Kendall: I swear men never grow up. You could be doing something much more productive than watching a cartoon.
Levi: Nope, it's the perfect background noise while I cook dinner.
Kendall: You cook?
Levi: Almost every night.
***
Kendall: Thanks for walking me out tonight.
Levi: It’s my job. I do it every night.
Kendall: True but now that we have a texting relationship I thought I should let you know.
Levi: Is this a bad time to tell you you're not the only person I've texted today?
Kendall: You text cheated on me!!! This is unforgivable.
Levi: I'm sorry. I have a problem. I'm a textaholic.
Kendall: How many others are there?
Levi: You don't want to know this. It will only hurt you.
Kendall: I need to know. It's the only way we can get past the cheating and move forward.
Levi: Okay.
Levi: I've texted my boss, a couple of guys at work, Brody, Laura, my neighbor across the hall, and my landlord.
Kendall: Wow. It's worse than I thought.
Levi: I wish I could say it will never happen again but...
Kendall: Don’t make a promise you can't keep. I should have known we weren't exclusive. It's my fault Lol.
Levi: Don't blame yourself. This is on me. I take full responsibility. Are you willing to have a non-exclusive texting relationship?
Kendall: Is that what you want?
Levi: That's all I can handle right now.
Kendall: Okay, I'll give it a try. Just know that if you can text other people so can I.
Levi: Ouch. That stings a little.
Kendall: It will hurt even more now.
Levi: Why is that?
Kendall: Because now is the time I reveal I was text cheating on you our entire texting relationship, too.
Levi: Betrayal. Pure Betrayal.
***
Kendall: You're not going to believe what was on TV when I woke up this morning.
Kendall: I'll give you a hint.
Kendall: I invented Post-its.
Kendall: I haven't seen this in years. It's even funnier than I remember.
Kendall: Well I just wasted two hours of my life. I'll stop texting you since you clearly have better things to do. Lol
***
Levi: Sorry about the late response. Wish I could have watched it.
Kendall: That's okay. You probably had better things to do than waste a morning watching a movie.
Levi: It's been a long time since I was able to relax and watch a movie at the same time. I may watch a lot of TV but it's usually background noise while I'm busy doing other things. Two hours to relax sounds nice.
Kendall: Why don't you do it now?
Levi: Can't. Just woke up and have things to do.
Kendall: Anything I can help with?
Levi: No. I'll just talk to you tonight.