CHAPTER 10
“What are you doing tomorrow night?”
They were walking back along the path at the side of Mill Lake, having spent the afternoon in the tower. The sky above their heads was navy-blue. The only sounds were their footsteps crunching into the frozen ground. As they walked, the backs of their hands brushed up against each other. Cate turned away to hide her smile as the warmth from his touch radiated up her arm.
Silently, she felt Kian reach for her hand. He intertwined his fingers with hers. She loved the feel of his skin pressed against her own. He slid his thumb underneath the cuff of her jacket, stroking tiny circles on the delicate skin inside her wrist.
Cate looked up at him. He smiled at her; it was a sweet, simple smile that seemed to light up his face. His dark eyes sparkled in the moonlight. There was a chill in the air but Cate was warmed by his touches and his smile.
She thought about his question; wondering where it might lead? She was home alone this weekend; her Mum was in Bromley until Tuesday and Liv had gone to Berlin for Ryan’s birthday.
Kian noticed her frown and stopped, “what is it?”
“I said I’d go and see The Ryders with Sinead tomorrow night.”
“Will you call me afterwards?” Kian asked.
Cate wasn’t concentrating and stumbled on a rock embedded in the path. Kian stopped her from falling.
He led her backwards, out of the moonlight, into the shadows cast by the trees. “Are you OK?”
He stroked her cheek and Cate couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “Don’t you have a match this weekend?”
Kian brushed her hair to one side and gently kissed his favourite spot just below her ear.
“It’s internationals this week,” he murmured, his breath swirling across her damp skin. “I’m still suspended for the next two matches.”
Cate felt her nipples stiffen inside her bra; she hoped that Kian couldn’t feel them.
Kian felt her softness pressed between him and the tree trunk, her beaded nipples poking through her jumper. He wanted to ask her to spend the weekend with him, in his bed but it was too soon, she was too young.
He took a step back, trying to adjust himself so his erection wasn’t quite so obvious.
Cate turned her back, quickly fastening her jacket over her breasts. As her fingertips brushed across her tingling nipples, she felt a flood of warmth between her legs. She was embarrassed by how aroused she was; she’d never felt like this before.
“We should go,” Kian muttered, leading the way back to the moonlit path. Cate followed behind, pressing the backs of her hands against her flushed cheeks, willing her body to calm down. Her heart fluttered like hummingbird wings.
Kian looked down at the ground, willing his cock to behave itself. He didn’t want to scare her away.
They drove back to the library car park in silence. As soon as Cate stopped the car, Kian jumped out. “I’ll call you,” he said quickly.
When Cate came out of the ladies’ toilets after the concert, Sinead was nowhere to be found. Cate stood up on her tiptoes, trying to see Sinead over the top of the crowds.
Her phone buzzed in her hands. “Where are you?” Cate asked, pressing herself back against the wall.
“I’m with Jake,” Sinead giggled.
“But where are you?” Cate tried again.
The phone went dead.
When Cate stepped out of Victoria station into the cold, night air, her phone buzzed again. “Sinead?” Cate couldn’t hide the anger in her voice.
“Close,” Kian’s voice curled around her. “We do share some of the same DNA.”
“Hi” Cate smiled. She leaned back against the wall and let the crowds rush past her.
“You look beautiful,” Kian said softly.
Cate jerked her head up. How did he know? She couldn’t see him.
“Closer,” he guided as her eyes roamed the road outside the Arena.
Suddenly, her face broke out in a wide smile. “There you are.”
“What are you doing here?” Cate asked, racing towards him.
“I wanted to make sure you were safe,” Kian said. “I know what Sinead’s like.”
“You knew she’d ditch me,” Cate asked.
She climbed into the car beside him; he locked the doors but didn’t start the engine straight away. They were hidden by the blacked-out windows. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”
Kian gently held her face in his hands. “You do look beautiful though.”
“Thank you,” Cate blushed.
Kian kissed the tip of her nose, “you don’t take compliments well, do you?”
“It depends if I believe them.”
Kian kissed her tenderly, wanting to make her believe him.
When they got back to her house, he parked the car at the top of the drive. “I thought your Mum never slept.” The house was shrouded in darkness.
Cate looked down at the big, empty house. She hated being home alone. “She doesn’t,” Cate laughed, trying to hide her fear. “She’s, um… she’s not home. She’s in Bromley again.”
Kian tightened his fists on the steering wheel. “What about Liv?”
“She’s gone to Berlin for the weekend with Ryan. It’s his birthday.”
“Come home with me,” Kian suggested. He knew it was a terrible idea; his bollocks were already tight. But he couldn’t just leave her there. Even though she was trying her best to hide it, he could tell that she didn’t want to be alone.
He put his hand on hers and she jumped a little. “I won’t try anything, I swear.”
Cate was torn. She didn’t trust herself with Kian; he brought out all these feelings, desires that she’d never felt before. She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked down the driveway at the big, empty house.
Kian turned her around so that she was facing him, away from the house. She was still worrying her bottom lip. He stroked the pad of his thumb across her lip, pulling it free from her teeth.
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. “Come home with me.”
“OK,” Cate said softly, her voice no more than a whisper.
Kian pulled back, starting the engine again. That soft whisper wound itself around his head. I wonder what she’ll sound like when she climaxes. Fuck, Kian turned on the radio to distract himself. His cock strained painfully against the zipper of his jeans.
“I love this song,” Cate’s voice broke through his fantasies. It was “Paint it Black” by the Rolling Stones.
“You like the Stones?” Kian asked.
“Why do you look so surprised?” Cate replied.
Kian laughed, “I just picked you up from a Ryders concert.”
“Hey,” Cate protested, “that was your sister’s choice, not mine.”
“Wasn’t your Dad a big Stones fan?” He watched the words hit Cate just as hard as a punch in the stomach.
“I wouldn’t know,” Cate said quietly. “I never met him.”
“I’m sorry,” Kian said. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s weird,” Cate said, looking out of the car window. “You know more about him than I do.”
“Do you ever think about him?”
Cate laughed bitterly. “It depends who’s asking. If it’s my Mum, no way.”
“If it’s me?”
Cate chewed on her lip again. “Sometimes. I try really hard not to because it hurts too much, you know?”
As they drove down Cooper Lane towards Kian’s house, Cate suddenly panicked. “What about Ben and Erin?”
“It’s fine,” Kian tried to reassure her. “They’re lightweights; they’ll already be tucked up in bed by now.”
“What about tomorrow?”
Kian laughed. “I’ll drive you home. You can sit in the backseat covered by a blanket if you like?”
When they got inside the house, Kian took her coat. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’d love some water,” Cate replied. “Thank you.”
While Kian went into the kitchen to get the water, Cate was drawn to the porch at the back of the house.
“Here you go,” Kian said quietly, not wanting to startle her.
“Thanks,” Cate took a long drink of the water. She needed the cold to calm her down.
“Don’t you ever get lonely?” Cate asked, looking out at the uninterrupted blackness. The house seemed so quiet.
Kian had sat down on the daybed and patted the spot beside him. “Lonely?”
“Yeah,” Cate said. She put her glass on the table and sat down next to him. “In this big, empty house in the middle of nowhere?”
“I like it,” Kian said. “It’s the only place where I can just be me, you know?”
“Plus, I’m not completely by myself. Ben and Erin are just across the courtyard. If it gets too much, I can always gate-crash their plans.”
He looked at Cate, who was still staring out of the windows. “Do you ever get lonely?”
“Sometimes,” Cate said quietly. “Sometimes, there are whole days when nobody looks me in the eye. Mum’s busy; Sinead’s with Jake.”
“Hey,” Kian turned her around so she was facing him. He cupped her chin and lifted it so she had to look at him.
“If you feel like that, will you call me?”
Cate struggled to look away. “I didn’t tell you that so you’d feel sorry for me.”
“I know you didn’t,” Kian’s eyes locked with hers. He gently laid her back on the daybed.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, tracing her jawline with his finger.
Cate blushed; compliments made her uncomfortable.
Kian leaned over her; his dark eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Cate reached up and touched the nape of his neck, his hair was silk through her fingers.
Kian brushed his lips over hers; feeling that crackle of electricity. He felt her unfurl underneath him. Her lips opened for him and he slid his tongue inside.
As their tongues rubbed together, Kian brought his hand up to her breast. He cupped it, feeling the soft flesh in his hand.
Startled, Cate looked up at him. “If you want me to stop,” Kian said softly. “Tell me.”
Cate reached for the back of his head and pulled him back down. He gently kneaded her breasts over her jumper.
Cate pushed him back a little, lifted her jumper up over her head and tossed it to the floor. Kian pulled off his t-shirt and threw it on the floor. Cate couldn’t stop staring at him; in the moonlight, his chest looked so defined. Her mouth was bone-dry. She wanted to run her hands over every inch of him.
“Can I touch you?” He asked softly, kissing the tender spot just behind her ear.
Cate felt her nipples tighten uncomfortably. “Yes,” she said breathlessly.
Kian slid a hand inside her bra, cupping her bare breast. Her skin was warm and smooth as silk. “Fuck,” he growled, feeling his cock jerk inside his trousers.
As he gently squeezed, Cate jumped. “Oh.”
Kian frowned, “do you want me to stop?”
“No,” Cate shook her head. “Please don’t.”
As he kneaded her breast, he felt her breath hitch in her throat. She stretched underneath him, arching her back, pressing her teardrop-shaped breast into his hand.
He kissed her again, swallowing her soft, breathy moans. She was so responsive, he was barely holding on.
He stroked the tight, puckered skin surrounding her taut nipple. Cate whimpered; her breast felt so heavy. Kian watched her reaction as he pressed his thumb and forefinger over the bead of her nipple and firmly tugged on it. “Ah,” she cried, squeezing her eyes tightly closed. Her cheeks were flushed dark pink. As she writhed underneath him, he felt his cock twitch inside his jeans. He was on very dangerous ground.
“Angel, we need to stop,” he murmured, removing his hand from her bra.
Cate looked up at him warily. “I don’t want to take this too far,” he said softly, stroking her cheek.
Cate was embarrassed by how wanton she’d been; taking her top off like that, allowing Kian to touch her bare breast, writhing and moaning underneath him. She could feel hot tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She wanted desperately to run away. She quickly covered her aching breasts with her arm and tried to sit up. Her nipples were still hard and pressed painfully against the cups of her bra.
“Hey,” Kian said softly, reaching for her hands. “Look at me.”
Cate couldn’t meet his eye. “Please Cate, look at me.”
He tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. “Please don’t be embarrassed. You are so incredibly sexy.”
Cate tried to look down. She didn’t believe him. Her black eyes were glassy with tears. “Why did you stop?”
Kian tried to explain. “If we’d gone any further, I don’t think I would have been able to stop.” Cate looked down at the crotch of his jeans, at the thick bulge of his erection.
“Oh,” Cate blushed even more furiously.
“Angel,” Kian said, gathering her into his arms. He kissed her forehead, her damp eyelids and the tip of her nose. “I know you’re not ready.”
After a few minutes, Kian got up and went into the house. When he came back, he was wearing a black t-shirt and shorts. “Here,” he said, handing Cate a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. “I thought you might be more comfortable in these. They’re clean.”
“Thanks,” Cate smiled. “Where’s your bathroom?”
When she came back to the porch, Kian was lying on the daybed, underneath a patchwork quilt.
When he saw her standing on the threshold, he sat up. “I thought we could sleep here tonight, if you want?”
“With you?” Cate squeaked.
“Just sleep, I promise,” Kian smiled. “Or I could sleep on the sofa?”
“No, I’d like that,” Cate smiled.
She lay down next to Kian and he covered her with the soft quilt. “This is beautiful,” Cate said.
“My Aunt Sadie makes them,” Kian explained.
“Turn over,” Kian said. Cate turned over on her side so she was facing the window. She felt Kian curl up around her, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Is this OK?”
Cate quickly moved her feet out of the way. “What are you doing?”
“My feet are cold,” Cate explained. “I don’t want to make you jump.”
“Come here,” Kian laughed. He tugged her feet between his calves to warm them up. “Wow, they are cold.”
“Have you brought lots of girls here?” Cate blurted out, before she could stop herself.
“None,” Kian said. “You’re the first.”
“Why not?” Cate asked.
“This is my home,” Kian replied. “It’s the only place where I can really be me.”
“I never wanted to be a professional footballer,” Kian said. He didn’t know why he was telling Cate this. Maybe, she was his truth serum, after all.
“You didn’t?”
“It was my Dad’s dream, not mine,” Kian explained. He felt so comfortable with Cate. “When I was a kid, it was fun. It came naturally to me. I liked being able to play with the older kids. I liked making my Dad proud. It’s just… It was like; well Kian’s good at football so that’s that. The School didn’t really care if I didn’t do my Maths homework as long as we won the Inter Schools Cup. I wish I could have seen what else was out there. Maybe, I’d have been a really great accountant?”
“What about now?” Cate asked. “Turning professional isn’t just about talent, it takes hard work. Has it become your dream?”
“I’d like to say yes,” Kian said. “But it hasn’t. I love playing football. I love the challenge of it. It’s the bullshit that comes with it that I could do without. You know in the 1950s, the players used to get the bus to the ground with the fans. There wasn’t such a big gap between them.”
“So it’s the money?”
“It is and it isn’t. You’re not just being paid to play football anymore. It’s like because you’re paid so much money that they own you in some way. You’re on all the time. You have to play nice with the sponsors, do your interviews and appearances on the club’s TV channel… If I’ve had a bad game and I go to the supermarket, there’s always somebody who wants to tell me what I’m doing wrong. Erin asked me to pick up some doughnuts the other day and as I was walking around, this guy came up to me and said no wonder you’re playing like shit if you’re eating them. They weren’t even for me. Or I go to a club and I happen to leave at the same time as some girl and next Sunday, she’s posing in her bra and pants saying we had sex. It’s why I live out here, in the middle of nowhere. Even Mum struggles to find it sometimes. If I want to sit on the back step in just my boxers and drink my coffee, I don’t have to worry that there’s some asshole somewhere with a camera.”
“Why don’t you just quit?” Cate asked. “Find something else.”
“It would break my Dad’s heart,” Kian said. “What if this is the only thing I’m good at?”
“I get that,” Cate said. “In our family, I’m the good girl, Liv’s the bad girl and Remy’s, well Remy’s the bitch.” Kian laughed.
“I’m the good girl, that’s how I fit into my family. I’m the one my Mum has pinned all of her hopes on. I’m the one who’s not going to make the same mistakes that she did. I’m so pathetically good that they leave me home alone all weekend and they know I’m not going to throw a party and trash the place. I don’t drink, smoke or take drugs. Until last Christmas, I’d never even been kissed. I just hide upstairs in my bedroom studying like the pathetic, boring, good girl that I am.”
Kian kissed the back of her neck. “I don’t think that you’re pathetic or boring. I think it’s great that you’ve got all these dreams.”
“But are they my dreams?” Cate said. “Or are they my Mum’s?”
“Is that what these are about?” Kian asked, touching the row of studs in her ear. “And your toenails?”
“It’s silly,” Cate replied. “I’m not brave enough to rebel properly. I can hide the studs with my hair, my toenails with socks and the books my Mum doesn’t approve of in my wardrobe. I don’t need the world to see them but I need to know they’re there.”
The following morning was just awkward. When Cate woke up, Kian wasn’t there. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and realised that she’d left her make-up on. There were dark smudges on the pillow underneath her head. She flipped it over and got up, trying to remember where the bathroom was from last night.
On the way, she quickly grabbed her clothes from the table.
As she scurried through the foyer, she bumped into something tall and hard. “Yikes,” she said softly, bouncing backwards. Kian’s hands gripped her waist, stopping her from falling.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.
Cate couldn’t look at him. “It’s fine. I’m just going to go and… get changed.”
“Yeah, I’ll give you a lift home.”
When she got to the bathroom, Cate locked the door, hugged her clothes tight to her chest and slid down to the floor. It was just awkward, awkward, awkward.
After a minute or two, she realised the longer she stayed in the bathroom, the more awkward it would be.
She stood in front of the mirror and opened one eye. Yep, it was just as bad as she thought it would be. The smoky eye make-up that Sinead had insisted she wear, was now smudged all around her eyes. She looked like she’d taken a heck of a beating. Grabbing some toilet paper, she tried to remove it as best she could. It was stubbornly clinging to her skin; she needed eye make-up remover. By the time she got most of it off, her skin underneath was raw.
She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to get rid of the tangles and found some toothpaste to get rid of her morning breath.
The only clothes she had with her were the ones she’d worn last night. The black leather skirt and off the shoulder jumper looked too dressy for a Saturday morning; it was a walk of shame-lite. Ugh, she couldn’t worry about that now; she just needed to get home.
When she came out of the bathroom, Kian was stood in the foyer twirling his keys around his finger. “Ready to go?”
He really wants rid of me, huh? “I just need to get my boots.”
She quickly pulled them on and joined him in the foyer. “Ben and Erin went out about half an hour ago so we should be good,” Kian explained as he unlocked the car.
“Cool,” Cate nodded. She still climbed into the backseat, ready to hide.
They drove to Cate’s house in silence. Cate nervously picked at a loose cotton on the hem of her jumper.
When they got there, Kian left the engine running. “Uh, thanks,” Cate said, quickly jumping out of the car.
“Cate,” Kian wound the window down. “See you Thursday.”
“Okay,” Cate said, chewing the inside of her mouth to stop her grinning. “See you Thursday.”