Ansley
The snow on the roads made it damn near impossible to get down to New York for the Christmas holiday, but Aiden wasn't taking no for an answer. I hadn't been back to Boston General since the incident with Parks, but I was more healthy than I had been in years.
The board had reviewed the surgery for Congressman Kade and found me and Parks to be not guilty of anything related to misconduct. We both got a slap on the wrist, but nothing too serious. I'd asked for a leave of absence until the New Year. Because I went above Nolan's head, the board of the hospital approved it.
The discussion with Nolan just before heading to New York had gone about as well as I'd expected. We spent thirty minutes yelling at each other, and I realized that I didn't have to do that anymore. He didn't own me, and he never would be a part of my life again. At least not outside of the hospital. Telling him as such was the largest weight off my shoulders.
I drove carefully down to New York with Christmas music blaring through my speakers and a lightness I hadn’t felt in forever. I missed Jacob Parker so much that life seemed colorless, mixed with grays, whites and blacks, but I wasn't going to pull him into the middle of my madness.
I was nine weeks pregnant with his baby and though it was probably the wrong thing to do, I was keeping the baby to myself. I'd move to Seattle or another coastal state after the first of the year. I just had to get through the holidays without my brother finding out. He'd eventually have to be told, but not right now. I wanted this gift to belong to me without drama for as long as possible.
Besides, I wasn't showing at all.
I pulled off the freeway and parked in front of Aiden's beautiful mansion. A smile played at the side of my mouth as I got out of the car. He always was one for show. I couldn't help but wonder if his fiancé, Elizabeth enjoyed the big house or if she wished for something smaller.
She came from deep poverty, which left me respecting her perseverance all the more.
I walked to the door and knocked before glancing up at the beautiful Christmas lights that decorated the house. I would have to come out later with Aiden to see them. No way I was slipping and busting my ass though. Putting the baby at risk of anything was out.
This was my one and only chance to have a child. I wasn't messing it up.
Aiden opened the door and laughed. "Ansley. Don't you look beautiful." He reached out and pulled me into a warm hug, kissing my cheek.
"Aiden. It's good to see you, brother. Thanks for inviting me down for the holiday."
"You're warm." He moved back as his eyes rolled over me. "Are you running a fever."
"Oh Lord." Elizabeth walked up beside him and opened her arms to me. "He's hyper sensitive for some reason. Give me a hug."
I hugged the young woman, glad to see her. She had as much spirit as me and Aiden put together. She was the perfect wife for my brother, and I couldn't wait to see them finally have their wedding. He was dragging his heels more because of having to take several days off from the hospital. Funny enough, she was laid back about it and seemed to be in no hurry.
"Good to see you, Lizzy." I kissed her cheek and walked into the house, taking it all in. "It's beautiful in here."
"Come on. Let me show you the tree." Elizabeth took my hand and tugged me toward the living room. "Aiden, grab her bags from the car."
"I can get them," I yelled over my shoulder as I followed her. The house was decorated to the nines, and I fell in love with it all over again. "Christmas is my favorite time of the year. My parents used to go all out like this. Yours too?" I let the question slip from my lips before I could pull it back. She'd been dirt-floor poor. There was no way her mother could afford to decorate the house.
"No. Not at all." She stopped beside the tree and let out a contented sigh. "This was all Aiden's doing. I think it helps him get through the holidays without missing your folks too much."
"I'm sure." I reached out and ran my fingers over the tinsel. "I'm moving to Seattle in January." I hadn't meant to blurt it out, but something about Lizzy made me feel at home, relaxed.
"Oh yeah?" She turned to face me, and I shifted a little to look her in the eye. "Does Aiden know that you're pregnant?"
"What?" I put my hands on my stomach as shock rolled through me.
"Does Aiden know that you're pregnant?" She reached out and brushed my hair off my shoulder. "I can see the perfect roundness of your stomach, and you are running fever. Most women do in the first trimester. It's the reason you took a sabbatical, right?"
I nodded, not sure how to feel about her digging into my life so deeply. "Yes, and no, he doesn't know. I was going to tell him in a few months."
"No, don't do that. You guys are close. Tell him now. He'll support you. You know that." She smiled warmly. "I'm so excited for you. I know how badly you wanted this."
"So bad." I rubbed my stomach and glanced down.
Aiden made a sound of surprise from the other side of the room. "Ansley."
I glanced over and nodded. "I'm pregnant. I wasn't going to tell you, but your woman here pinned me down."
"Oh, my God." He walked across the room and drew me into his arms. The feel of them wrapped around me caused me to choke up. How badly I wanted Parks there, his arms around me, his heart belonging to me, but it was silly. He wasn't the type of man to settle down, and I wasn't imposing myself on anyone ever again.
"I don't know what it is yet. It's only been nine weeks."
"Is it Nolan's?" He lifted his eyebrow as a hint of disgust played along his lips.
"No." I glanced down and took a shaky breath. "Parks." I looked up as Aiden stepped back. "But you have to swear to me that you won't say anything."
"What? You slept with him?" He ran his hand down his face and turned to walk to the fireplace. "This is my fault."
"No, it's not." I joined him and notice that Lizzy slipped out of the room. "He's everything I wanted in a lover, Aiden. Hell, he's everything any woman would want." I forced a laugh, but the sound fell flat. "I knew better than to let him into my heart though. He's just a playboy."
"No, he's not. He's so much more than that, Ans." He turned to face me. "He lost his father about five weeks ago and it almost killed him. He should have known that you were pregnant. It would have helped."
"Wait." I smirked. "You're not mad that we slept together?"
"You're grown ass adults, and I had some inkling that you did when you both called in a panic about each other." He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You can't ask me to keep this from him. He's like a brother to me."
"I am asking that." I swatted at his hand. "I don't want him feeling obligated to be with me. I don't need a man in my life. I've wanted a baby my whole life. Parks gave me one, Aiden. Let's just leave it at that."
"That should be his decision, Sis."
"What should?" Gwen walked into the room and walked over to us.
"Your sister is nine weeks pregnant and didn't want any of us to know." Aiden stuck out his tongue and moved back. The look on his face said that he was waiting for Gwen to tear into me. Her reaction shocked both of us.
"What? Oh my God! I'm going to be an Aunt?" She danced around and moved over to me, pulling me into a hug that felt more than an uncomfortable junior high dance.
I laughed and wrapped my arms around her. "Yeah, and I'm going to need a little bit of help raising this little guy."
"It's a boy?" Gwen hollered as her eyes widened farther.
"I'm not sure yet, but I think it's a boy." I glanced over at Aiden who rolled his eyes and turned back toward the fire.
"It's not definitive until twenty weeks. You know this, Ans." He leaned down and picked up a glass of wine. "Tell her whose baby it is."
"Mine." I smiled at Gwen, wondering why the hell I thought I would be judged by my brother and sister. They were the most accepting people I knew, especially when it came to family matters. They had always stood on either side of me, holding me up, talking me off the ledge, loving me through all of it.
"And?" She smiled wickedly. "Oh, please tell me it's Parks."
"Really? You too?" Aiden turned and gave Gwen a look. "What is it about this guy."
"You don't want us to go there," Gwen informed him and turned back to me. "You really think it's his."
"Yeah. It's his." I glanced down as my sister ran her hands over my slightly swollen stomach. "He's going to be beautiful then. Can we call him Doctor Feelgood Junior when he's older and a lady killer."
"No!" Aiden yelled before his tight expression faded into a smile. He looked over at me lovingly. "Ansley, we're all three here for you. If you don't want to tell Jacob, then that's your business. I'd highly advise against it because it's not fair to him, but I'll leave that guilt for you to swallow."
"Aiden's right. Were here for you. We'll help raise the baby."
"Good. I hope he's rotten as hell." I smiled and walked over to drop down on the couch as Aiden and Gwen started to talk through the delivery options. Elizabeth joined them, and my eyes grew heavy as I laid back and let my mind wonder.
What would reality look like if I told Parks that I had his baby inside of me? Would he step up or run away? Would we try to make things work or raise the baby as friends living along two different coastlines from one another?
Or would we try to work things out together? Could we fall in love? Have more kids?
I stopped myself. I wasn't a dreamer. I was the pragmatic one in the family.
Telling him was more damning than keeping it to myself.
I worked hard to convince myself of that, not truly believing it for a minute.