Epilogue

One Year Later

Jaxon

Jessica looks up at me with those gorgeous, innocent, big brown eyes and says, “It wasn’t me, Daddy.”

She has paint all over her fingers and arms, huge stains across the brand new T-shirt we’ve only just bought her, and as my eyes follow the mess she’s made in what was at one point before this morning my office, I see there isn’t just paint all over the floor, it’s on the walls, the desk she’s made into her temporary workspace, the computer keyboard and the cat. I’ve been downstairs preparing lunch for less than fifteen minutes. I will never fail to be amazed at how much chaos she can create in less time than it takes me to prepare one simple meal.

She holds her sticky paint filled fingers out towards me and then opens and closes them as if to show me what it’s like for a young girl in the fix she’s got herself in. “It was Mr. Tiddles”, she adds after a while.

Mr Tiddles yawns, stretches and then rubs the not-quite-dry paint he has on his back all the way along my pant leg.

When Jessica sees it, she smiles. A big, gapey smile where her new front tooth hasn’t had time to grow in yet. Coupled with the melted chocolate eyes, the cute little ringlets in her hair and the way she’s sticking and unsticking her hands, it’s impossible for me to get mad. The paint will come off, the clothes will clean, even if the keyboard’s not alright, we can get another. I hardly use the computer anyway.

“You know what I’m going to do with you?” I say, grabbing for her and throwing her over my shoulder, despite her pathetic attempts to evade me. “I’m going to cook you up, in a big old stew-”, she can’t stop giggling as I kiss her belly, “-and then Mommy and I are going to eat you all up in one big go.”

“No you’re not”, Jessica says, giggling away.

“I am”, I reiterate, “I’m going to put you on the chopping board, and roll you out-.” I’ve got her in the air now at full stretch, like I’m examining which bit of her might be the best to eat first, “-and then I’m going to cover you in oil-”, I blow a raspberry into her belly where her T-shirt rucks up, “- and then I’m going to put you in the pot.”

I finally put her down on the ground and let her squirm away from me. She makes it to the door, realizes I’m not chasing her yet and then gives me a challenging look. I take two quick steps forward, and she giggles like a maniac, the shock getting to her, before she pelts it down the stairs much faster than I should really be letting her.

I stomp down after her, pretending to be a monster, and then when I get to the kitchen I see her hiding under the table, eyes as big as bottle tops.

“Where is my food?” I growl, making out I can’t see her. I bang my fist on the table. “I want my food”, I say.

Jessica gurgles, convinced she’s managed to evade capture, but unable to keep herself quiet. “When I find that little girl I’m going to-”, I pause, making my way around the table while Jessica tries desperately to stay silent. “I’m going to-”, I add, drawing it out for as long as I can until I get myself into position. “Eat her”, I say, dropping quickly into a crouch, grabbing Jessica by the leg and causing her to emit a kind of gurgled scream of excitement.

“No, Daddy”, she says, much more seriously than I expect. “Don’t eat me, please.”

I pretend to mull this over while I have her captured. “What am I going to eat if I don’t eat you?” I say. “A monster’s got to eat.”

“You can eat Mr. Tiddles”, Jessica offers.

I shake my head. “Cats don’t taste as good as humans”, I say, and pretend to pull her towards my mouth.

“Spaghetti”, Jessica says out of nowhere, and I can’t help but laugh for the randomness. “Okay”, I say, after pausing to think about it for a while, “spaghetti with Jessica bolognese, delicious.”

Despite her protestations, I pull her out from under the table by one of her legs, with the intention to dangle her in the air for a while before I get back to what I’m really supposed to be doing, which is getting her dinner ready and cleaning the house. With her moving about like a fish on the end of a line, we turn round to see that Ruby is somehow suddenly with us, and she doesn’t look impressed.

“Mom’s home”, Jessica points out as though normality might have just been restored.

“Hi honey”, I say, putting Jessica down carefully. “How was your Dad?”

I kiss her and take a peek at Maddox, who is fast asleep in his special seat. “Good”, Ruby says. “He sends his love.”

“Look, Mommy”, Jessica says, her paint covered hands palpitating in the same way she did before, seemingly intent on getting me into trouble. At exactly the same time, the pan of boiling water I’ve put on the stove containing the eggs I’d planned to give Jessica for dinner begins to boil over, reminding me I should have taken them out at least five minutes ago. Organize a mission to rescue a hostage from a heavily guarded building in Mexico? No problem. Cook some eggs and make sure my daughter doesn’t cover the whole house in paint? Impossible.

Ruby takes Jessica by the hand to examine her state, while I rescue the over boiling pot. “Daddy been looking after you again?” Ruby asks cynically.

“Yes”, Jessica says, nodding proudly.

“I kind of took my eye of her for a minute”, I say.

“Can you keep an eye on this one while I get her cleaned up?” Ruby asks me.

“Sure”, I say, jumping to attention. “What do I need to do?”

Ruby laughs. “Just make sure he doesn’t wake up”, she says, knowing full well that if he does, it’s largely out of my control anyway.

“Done”, I say, taking position and standing over him, which seems to make Ruby laugh even more. She comes over, turns my head towards hers and plants a passionate kiss on my lips. “You don’t have to watch him all the time”, she says, caressing my cheek.

“I know”, I say. “I just like to.”

Ruby smiles and then gather’s Jessica’s hand again and makes her way to the bathroom.

“Hey”, I call, just before she leaves the room. “What was that kiss for.”

Ruby shrugs. “Because I love you, that’s why”, she says, and disappears without a need for a response.

“I love you too”, I say quietly, “and I love you as well”, I add, before crouching over Maddox and rubbing his little chest. A second later he opens up his eyes, screws up his face in disgust and despite my immediate attempts at soothing him, decides on one single course of action.

“Oh, Maddox”, I say, wrinkling my nose in an attempt to avoid the smell. “That’s really not very nice.”

I’m still staring at him in shock when Ruby and Jessica come back into the kitchen. All eyes go to Maddox who coos innocently, as though butter wouldn’t melt. If I didn’t know better, I might say he was laughing at me.

“I’ll go and change him”, I say, lifting up the crib.

Ruby nods, “and I’ll make dinner”, she says. “Again.”

And as I climb the stairs to his bedroom, the smell of baby shit wafting every so often up at me from my two month old baby, my daughter sat happily at the family table below us, I can’t help but think I’m the luckiest man in the world.

As difficult as it is from time to time raising these children, I’ve got the only person I ever wanted by my side and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

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THE END