Epilogue.

Dreams do come true if you wait long enough

Five incredible years later...

I suppose you could call us either the most fucked up family in America, or the most progressive. I guess it pretty much depends on your perspective. I’m not even sure myself sometimes.

Dad and Janice are still very happily married, Mom’s dating a film star, Brian has married and subsequently divorced a football mom and Donkey and I are no longer keeping our relationship a closely held secret.

A lot has changed, so I’ll update you with the most important stuff. Shortly after Dad and Janice got married, my transfer to LSU was accepted, and I hauled ass across the country, bunked up for as long as I could with the boys on campus and finally found a perfect little place we could all call home after the summer break.

Life was finally falling into place after dreaming for so long about what I wanted, but there was still one huge element missing from my world that I knew would keep me from happiness until it was resolved.

I’m not talking about marriage and kids, but I’ll get to that in a minute, I’m talking about keeping my relationship status secret from everyone back home apart from Marcy. I felt like I was lying about something I didn’t need to lie about, and that made me feel much sadder than I initially thought it would. Donkey agreed with me too, and after several weeks of thinking about what we should do, we invited the entire now extended and dysfunctional family over to Baton Rouge to let the dirty cat out of the bag.

It was kind of a kick getting everyone together, and I was pleasantly surprised that they all agreed to come. Mom was finally getting past her phase of depression by that point, and brought along someone she’s no longer seeing anymore. Dad and Janice were laid back and more relaxed than I’ve ever seen them, so relaxed I did stop to think whether they were actually stoned, and Brian with his new girlfriend at the time were equally happy and keen to come along.

I think I was probably the most nervous person there that night, and I’m eternally grateful to Jack and Zach for taking control of the evening and being the ones to deliver the news.

I’d imagined a horrific backlash of conservative furor, perhaps a few choice words and then a mass exodus, but it was really nothing like that, despite the fact I felt like we were all admitting to a horrendous crime.

Donkey made it simple. Jack said, “Jenny and Zach and I have been seeing each other secretly for the last year, we’re very much in love with each other, and would like to let you all know as members of our family.”

Zach said in addition, “I suppose it might be a little strange to consider at first, but we would really appreciate your support on this, because it’s not going to change.”

There was silence, which was expected, there was nervous laughter and there was disbelief, but it wasn’t exactly what I’d pictured. Mom and Dad and Janice and Doug weren’t disowning us, nor were they throwing drinks, overturning furniture or foaming at the corner of their mouths.

Mom was the first to speak. “Good for you, Jenny”, she said. “It’s about time you had some good news.”

While Brian went on to say something like, “I knew it”, and then, “so twins really do share everything, huh?”

And that was largely it. The party went on, our relationship was discussed amongst the group, but not criticised, and when everyone left, Donkey and I just sat down, looked at each other and wondered why we’d kept it a secret for so long.

No-one seemed all that bothered by it. Mom’s temporary boyfriend at that time was perhaps the only one out of everyone who seemed to think it a little unusual, but even so, didn’t seem at all outraged. If anything, we were the ones that considered it strange.

And that was that. Donkey and I, in the summer of 2017, were officially a menage couple for anyone that knew us or came to know us, and neither one of us could have been any happier.

College bumbled on, Donkey and I excelled in our respective subjects, Marcy jack-knifed from boyfriend to boyfriend as usual, and the sky didn’t fall in, despite the fact that for a long time I continuously thought it might. Humorously and perhaps quite endearingly, Donkey and I collectively became known as the Y on campus - you figure it out -, but nothing much apart from that changed around us. Things just sort of continued to fall perfectly into place for us, and I’m not even kidding this time either. No notebooks or teenage girl fantasies or daydreaming to obscure the truth. Everyone was actually okay with us being who we wanted to be.

Donkey being super popular helped of course, but people just fell in love with us, and then accepted us for who we were when the pieces of the puzzle were presented to them. It was like, being in a three way relationship was just as normal as not being in one. Or maybe even more normal than a conventional one on one.

I graduated with an offer of a job at a national newspaper, the first draft of a romance novel already doing the rounds with a number of traditional editorials - the third draft of which I’m so excited to reveal has now been published to huge worldwide acclaim - and Donkey became the first people in history to become joint first pick in the draft for the football league because they refused to be separated. For them it was all or nothing, which, after arbitration, the league decided to finally agree to.

In short, the last five years have been the best years of my life so far, and they are only getting better by the day.

Jump to five years later, which is where we all are now, and the most exciting news I can tell you is that we’ve all got a baby on the way!

Seriously. If my eighteen year old self, the day of that party after the prom could get a glimpse of the twenty three year old me now, I’d believe seeing myself in a spaceship on the way to Mars would be conceivably more probable. Yet, here we are. Jack, Zach and I are nineteen weeks pregnant, we’ve moved to a bigger house in a decent neighborhood of our new town, and all of us feel excited to be growing up together.

It wouldn’t be fair to update you on my life without telling you a little bit about theirs too, nor would it make any sense anymore considering how much we share. Donkey got picked up by The Bridgetown Phoenixes, who happened to have a famous and influential quarterback on their coaching staff, convincing enough to make us jump at the chance to move.

Landon Maddox comes over for dinner from time to time, and even though he’s keeping Jack out of the quarterback position for this season, but not out of the team altogether, the boys refuse to give him back his nickname. In the team and around the ground, the boys are referred to as Donkey Doubled, but even Landon Maddox knows the real Donkey are the boys I get to call my men.

They both line up as wide receivers, and as expected, are already excelling and look set to break records this year and for many years to come.

I know you’re dying to now, but the answer is that none of us know ourselves and neither do we want to know. The baby could be Jack’s or it could be Zach’s, it really doesn’t matter. It’s ours and it always will be.

What else can I tell you, but we are head over heels in love with each other, and trying to find some way in which we can all legally tie the knot, but at the moment, at least in this country the law is against us.

At the moment we have to settle for living together and focussing on supporting our own family and the extended family we now have around us. The good thing is that the press is on our side, we have the support of The Phoenixes and the football community as a whole, our own families love us all to bits, and together I know there is nothing that can come between us, however impossible a challenge it might initially seem.

I can’t believe how lucky I am. Whenever I watch them play, whenever they come home and walk through the door, whenever I wake up in the middle of the night just because, and I reach out to find them always there. That sensation inside me of absolute and total support, love and carnal desire, the knowledge they will never leave me, the ache I get when they go away temporarily for work and the joy I get on their return, the fact I know our love will never fade and it’ll only get stronger. The sex, the companionship, the unspoken as much as the shared. There is nobody on this earth that can offer even an atom of what I get with Donkey, and I have to pinch myself on a daily basis, just to make sure I’m really not dreaming.

That’s when I’m alone, of course. When it’s the three of us, Donkey’s the one I make get snappy with their hands.

Just because I have them whenever I want them hasn’t stopped me writing about them, nor dreaming about elaborate new ways we can all get our naughty, daily and nightly thrills. But that’s another story for another time, another book for another moment.

This is where this one ends for you, at least as words on this page. You know mine will carry on, and with a little thought you’ll be back with me. Close your eyes and you’ll see whenever you want to join me. Perfect abs, smoldering eyes, panties on the floor....

THE REAL END