Chapter Sixteen
Colin
I was out of control.
I knew better than to let an alpha fuck me bare. But something inside of me had taken control. I’d needed Riley so desperately all logic had flown out of my brain. I was taking a crazy risk, but it felt right. Some little voice had urged me to let him spill his seed inside me. I’d felt like if I ignored that voice, I was betraying my kind.
I’d tried to tell him what I was, but I’d been unable to force the words from my tight throat. And then the instinct to breed had taken me over. I’d craved his seed. It was a physical hunger driven by my solar eclipse omega, a need to propagate and fulfill my destiny.
I hadn’t realized that desire was even in me. I’d known my kind could get pregnant, but I hadn’t grasped that it was something I would pursue actively. The need to be bred had never hit me before. Not until I’d met Riley and we’d grown closer. Not until tonight.
He’d need to know about me now. I knew he’d probably hate me or think I was a freak when he found out the truth about me. It would have been best to reject his advances. But when the alpha in Riley had commanded me to come to him, I’d been unable to refuse him. My instinct had been to give in and let him impregnate me if possible. My desperate intuition still pushed me forward, even now.
This is my destiny. This is why I exist.
Logic was useless because now he was inside me; his cock so deep I felt like he was in my throat. He was in the grip of his instinct too, and all we could do was give in to it and let it happen. I bit the pillow and grunted as he thrust wildly. Pain mixed with pleasure as he rammed into me, and I ached for more.
The muscles of his forearms gleamed with sweat as he rolled his hips and fucked me hard from behind. I arched my back and met his thrusts, riding his thick cock with a need I didn’t understand. I’d wanted to come since the second he’d entered me, but I’d held it off. I needed to last as long as possible.
He adjusted his position, his hands on my back as he slipped his cock in and out of me. “So good,” he growled, rocking his hips back and forth.
“Oh, fuck,” I whimpered as my orgasm began to tingle through my balls. “I’m gonna come.”
He stopped his thrusts and pulled out. “Roll over,” he commanded.
I did as he said, my body aching with the need to come. His muscled chest was slick with perspiration, and his eyes were a soft yellow brown. He pushed my thighs apart and lay on top of me. “I want to look in your eyes when you come.”
I whimpered and then groaned as he slipped his cock back into my body. I shuddered and gripped him, my ass stretched to capacity from his width. It was a painful pleasure to have him fully seated, and when he began to thrust again, I couldn’t control the cries of ecstasy that burst from my throat.
“Oh, fuck.”
“Don’t come yet,” he commanded.
The friction of his cock entering me and pulling out was almost too much. I begged him to let me come as the grinding thrust of his cock had me spiraling more and more out of control.
“Please,” I whined.
He pumped into me with a funny little smile. “Not yet, omega.”
My body trembled and I wasn’t sure I could obey him. Every swipe of his abs over my swollen cock had me inching further and further toward my climax. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I slid my hand between our bodies and started jerking my dick.
“Yeah, squeeze that cock,” he urged.
“Oh, shit,” I wheezed.
His thrusts quickened and his lips parted as his own climax approached. “Come. Come for me now.” His voice was like a caress.
At the sound of his husky tone, my body convulsed and then exploded with a pleasure so intense, I almost passed out. Wave after wave of delight ravaged me, and I shook and moaned, my cock spilling warm cum across my trembling abdominals.
His heated gaze never left me, and then he stiffened and came, his cum splashing my insides, hot and sticky. He lowered his head, pressing his face into my throat, and I held him tight. Something inside me seemed to open and receive his release, sucking it into my body like water over dry sand.
I held on to him as my body trembled and shook. “Oh, fuck,” I hissed, feeling dizzy. Every inch of my skin tingled and ached as buzzing tremors rippled through my abdomen.
Eventually his thrusts stopped, and he lifted his head, his eyes their usual dark brown. We were both breathless as we shared soft kisses. He pulled out and collapsed beside me. As my omega slowly left me, a feeling of dread came over me.
What the hell had I done?
I clenched my jaw and tried to control the panic that assaulted me, now that my omega had faded away. What had I been thinking? I’d let him take me without any protection. I’d begged him to fuck me without a condom. I wasn’t a reckless person. Not at all. I always thought five steps ahead, but tonight, I’d been at the mercy of my omega.
Riley didn’t appear to be aware of how upset I was. He was himself again, all signs of his alpha gone. “That was insanely… hot.”
I nodded, anxiety humming in my gut. “And possibly foolish.”
He grimaced. “Yeah. Definitely.”
I didn’t know what to say or how to explain what had come over me. I’d instigated this bareback session, and I didn’t blame him for giving in. We’d both been out of control. I needed to tell him the truth about me, but I wasn’t sure now was the right moment. Of course my fear was that I’d get pregnant. That was what my omega had wanted. But there was every chance I wasn’t. It had taken years for Garrett to get pregnant by Alan. I didn’t want to overreact.
“I never do shit like that.” He sounded embarrassed. “I wasn’t myself.”
“Me neither,” I said softly. “That was pure instinct.”
He let out a shaky breath. “My alpha definitely takes over when I’m around you.”
“I have the same problem with my omega.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t have better self-control.”
“It’s not your fault.” I grimaced.
He sighed and grabbed some tissues from the nightstand. “Come here.”
I did as he said, and he gently wiped the cum from my abs. Then he tossed the used tissues into the little trash bin near the bed. He patted his chest. “Closer.”
I pressed nearer, and he stroked my hair as we cuddled. The steady beat of his heart under my ear was lulling, and I began to drift off. I grunted when a strange shiver rolled through me. I buried nearer to him, instinctively seeking the warmth of his body.
He kissed my hair and sighed, resting his chin on my head. The heat of his body was soothing, and I began to feel a little better. I closed my eyes again, feeling groggy. A few minutes passed, and then the strange chills from earlier returned as another shiver rumbled through me.
I opened my eyes as my discomfort intensified. I was tempted to get under the covers, but I didn’t want to disturb Riley. I shuddered as another chill pushed through me, only this time it was accompanied by a burning pain in my gut. I flinched and clenched my teeth against the dull ache, not wanting to show my distress.
He must have noticed something because he lifted his head. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I wasn’t sure how to describe what I felt, so I kept it to myself.
He snuggled close and I tried to relax my tense muscles, but when another searing jab hit me, I hissed and writhed against the pain.
“Shit.” I shivered as my muscles clenched and shook. My teeth chattered as chills rippled through my body, tugging a whimper from my tight throat.
“Colin?” He sat up. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” I clutched my stomach and groaned, curling my knees to my chest. My gut ached and burned as bile rose in my throat, making me nauseous.
Riley knelt over me, his brows pulled together. “Are you sick?”
I writhed and moaned as my insides throbbed with agony. “Oh, God.” I sucked in short, painful breaths, feeling like I was dying.
“Your eyes—” He sounded confused. “They’re so bright.”
In the back of my mind I could hear Riley trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t respond. I closed my eyes and shivered uncontrollably.
“I’m calling a doctor.”
“No,” I moaned.
“Why not?” He stroked his hand over my forehead. “You’re burning up.”
I hugged myself, trying not to cry out against the pain. More chills rippled over my body, and I groaned and arched my back. “Fuck.” I dug my heels into the bed, writhing in agony.
“That’s it. I’m calling a doctor.”
I grabbed his arm. “No. Wait.” I didn’t want anyone finding me and Riley in bed together. “Please, wait.”
“No. Something is obviously wrong.”
I sucked in air, trying to will the pain away. “Just wait.”
“Colin—” His voice was tense. “—I don’t think I should.”
“Yes. I’m just cold.” I nestled against him, determined to keep him where he was, and he instinctively wound his arms around me.
“Bullshit. You’re not just cold.”
“Keep me warm.”
He pressed his lips to my ear. “You’re worrying me.”
I clenched my teeth against the pain and shivered.
He tightened his arms. “It’s okay. You’re okay,” he whispered.
His voice was soothing, and eventually the shivering began to subside. The searing agony in my intestines slowly faded, leaving me weak and covered in sweat.
After a while, I took a deep breath, relieved I could finally expand my lungs without pain. I slowly opened my eyes and found him watching me.
“Are you better?” he asked quietly.
I nodded weakly. “I think so.”
“What the hell happened?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, licking my dry lips. “I don’t know how to describe it.”
He brushed my hair off my face gently. “Your eyes… they were so brilliant I couldn’t look at you.”
“What?” I frowned.
“They were the brightest blue I’ve ever seen.” He bit his lip.
I managed to sit up very slowly. “That’s… weird.”
“Yeah. You worried me when you wouldn’t respond.”
“I couldn’t.” I grimaced. “But I’m better now. Maybe a little nauseous.”
He moved off the bed to pull on his underwear, and then he perched beside me on the bed, his mouth tense. “That wasn’t normal.”
“No. Definitely not. But I… I think I’m fine now.”
“You should get checked over by a doctor.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” I lied, feeling unsettled.
He narrowed his gaze. “Was I too rough with you?”
“No.”
“Could it be from the Brevital Sodium?”
“I doubt it.” I didn’t feel any residual effects from the drug that I was aware of.
He pressed my lower stomach. “Maybe your appendix?”
“It doesn’t hurt when you push on me.” I frowned when that faint nausea rolled through me again.
Shit. I’m gonna be sick.
I tried to suppress the bitterness in my gut, but I couldn’t. I stood and moved unsteadily toward my room, using the walls to keep me upright.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t feel very well.” I slammed into my bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet. I heard him come in behind me, and while I wanted to tell him to go away, I didn’t have the chance because another wave of nausea hit me. I gagged and vomited into the toilet.
I was humiliated that he was witnessing this moment of weakness, but there was nothing I could do about it. I heaved and shivered, feeling like death. Eventually, the nausea faded and I stood and stumbled to the sink. I brushed my teeth and traveled on shaky legs to my bed. I tumbled onto the comforter and curled into a pathetic ball.
I prayed no one tried anything with Riley right now. I was a wreck and would be useless to protect him. He covered me with something soft, and the mattress dipped as he got on the other side of the bed. I was so tired I couldn’t even open my eyes.
“If I’m not better in a few hours, I’m calling my boss and having him send a replacement,” I mumbled weakly.
He stroked his hand over my hair. “Shhh. Just rest.”
I exhaled. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
I shrugged, unable to voice my fears. This had to be food poisoning or something. It had to be.
“Colin, I just want you to be okay.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“This is so embarrassing.”
“What?” He gave an uneasy laugh. “Why?”
I didn’t speak.
He sighed. “You’re sick. People get sick.”
“Not me.”
“You’re Superman, huh?”
“Pretty much.” I managed to lift my body and get under the covers with his help.
“Just rest. I’ll take care of you.”
As much as I wanted to sleep, I knew I needed to talk to him about not letting anyone know about our relationship. I forced myself to speak. “Hey, Riley, you realize no one can know about us, right?”
“Colin, it’s okay. I’m out of the closet, remember?”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Why?”
“If my boss knows I’m involved with you, he’ll reassign me. He won’t ask questions, he’ll just pull me off the detail.”
He inhaled sharply. “Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No.”
“Look, I was weak and I went against my better judgment. I knew this wasn’t appropriate, but I did it regardless. But the bottom line is my boss won’t tolerate this behavior. Period.”
“What’s the big deal if the person protecting me has feelings for me?”
“Because emotions can cloud judgment.”
“I don’t believe that. Not with you.”
“I should never have crossed this line with you. I knew that, but I did it anyway. That right there shows my judgment is shit when it comes to you.” I swallowed hard. “I’m supposed to stay emotionally distant.”
“I’ve seen celebrities get involved with their bodyguards before. Why would it matter?”
“I’m not saying it never happens. I’m saying my boss won’t stand for it. I should probably voluntarily resign from this position.”
“What?” His voice wobbled. “No. I want you by my side.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “We need to be logical.”
“I feel safe with you. I know you’d do anything to protect me. Isn’t that the point? Isn’t that why you’re here?”
I groaned. ”Riley.”
“If you want to keep this quiet until the tour is over, that’s fine. No one needs to know how we feel about each other.”
I’d really gotten myself into a mess. But my feelings for Riley were too strong to ignore. I didn’t want to walk away. I literally couldn’t make myself do it.
He kissed my hair and whispered, “What we do behind closed doors is our business, Colin.”
His passion washed over me, tugging at my heart, and I knew I was screwed. “I want to stay by you and keep you safe.”
“Then do that. We’ll keep our private shit private. Okay?”
I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. “Whatever you want, Riley. I can’t seem to deny you anything.”
“That’s more like it.” His voice rumbled in his chest.
I burrowed closer and he wound his strong arms around me. Everything felt better when he touched me. I didn’t want to think about all the things that could go wrong. I just wanted this moment with Riley, where I could pretend that I deserved a happy ending just like everyone else.