Chapter Five
Riley
Between rehearsals, meet and greets, and the actual performances, the pace of the tour was a drain on me physically and mentally. Once we left Los Angeles, I did six shows that next week in Arizona and met with countless fans.
I thought about Colin all the time. I wasn’t sure if it was because I felt like I couldn’t have him and so it made him more intriguing, or if it was something else. But thinking about him made me happy. I’d loved his calm energy and the fact that he’d been attracted to me in spite of my fame, not because of it.
I’d tried calling him once but had hung up before he could answer. I felt unusually shy about reaching out, but I was curious if he’d gone to his interview and if he was on the job again. Tom hired a guy, Tony, to replace Frank, and he was fine. But he had that same bored air of indifference that Frank had shown. It wasn’t that I needed someone fawning over me, but I remembered clearly when Blade had worked for me a while back, he’d taken the job seriously. I knew just from the short time I’d been around Colin, he’d be the same.
I jumped when somebody knocked on my door. From the impatient rapping of knuckles, I knew it was probably Tom. He was always a bundle of energy day or night. I let him in, and he started talking immediately, no hello or how are you needed.
“So I’ve added ten dates to the calendar.” He shuffled through some papers as he spoke. “New York and Florida sold out within hours, so I figured what the hell, let’s add some days there and make your fans happy.”
I frowned. “You added ten days without mentioning it to me first?”
He glanced at me distractedly. “Yeah. I knew you’d do it.”
“Tom, I’m tired already. I can’t keep doing six shows a week. My voice won’t hold out for one thing.”
“You want to sweeten your sound? You could sing along to tracks and then you could conserve your voice.”
I bugged my eyes. “What?”
He squinted. “Is there a problem?”
“I don’t lip-sync my shows.”
He rolled his eyes. “Lots of people do this these days. They sing along to themselves.”
Shaking my head, I scowled. “Not me. That’s not my style.” I couldn’t even believe he was suggesting such a thing.
He shrugged. “You’re the one who’s complaining your voice won’t hold out. I’m just trying to come up with a solution.”
“The solution is don’t book six concerts a week,” I grumbled.
“We need this to be your most successful tour yet. We need to show the labels that they fucked up when they passed on you years ago.”
“I’m not doing this to stick it to the industry.” I grabbed a soda from the little minifridge. “I do this because I love sharing my music with the fans.”
“Why not do both?” He smirked and tossed the papers onto the desk.
I sighed. “Don’t add any more dates.”
“Fine. Don’t freak out.”
I bit my tongue and changed the subject. “I wanted to talk to you about Tony.”
“What about him?”
“I want to replace him.”
“Sure. I don’t care. I’ll call the agency.” He pursed his lips. “Did he do something to annoy you?”
“He looks bored all the time.”
“Um, okay. Not sure that’s a great reason to go to the trouble of getting another guy.” He grimaced. “Odds are the next guy will seem just as bored. It’s a boring job.”
“Blade didn’t act like that.”
“Blade?” He scowled. “You mean the guy who came to the concert the other night? The guy with the baby?”
My face warmed at his dismissive tone. “Yeah. The guy who put Frank in his place.”
“That guy is the standard?”
“Why not? He was great. When he spent those two days with me in Texas, he took down that crazy stalker easily and he was a pleasure to have around. He made me feel like I was worth protecting. These other guys treat this job like it’s an imposition.”
“I had no idea you were so needy.”
My face warmed. “I’m not needy. Is it too much to ask that the guy who is supposed to keep me safe seems to care about his fucking job?”
“I’m sure Tony cares about his job.”
“He has his face buried in his phone constantly. He wouldn’t even notice if someone was getting too close. It might interrupt his online shopping.” I chuffed. “In fact I had two girls almost pull me into the crowd yesterday when I was shaking hands, and Tony didn’t even notice. I could have been trampled to death.”
Tom frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me about this when it happened?”
“I was trying not to throw the guy under the bus. But this morning he called me the wrong name twice. I don’t think he even knows what city we’re in.”
“So I’ll call the agency and get a new guy.”
“Who are you using? That’s two guys who are unprofessional and not worth the money.”
“It’s a company that was recommended to me by one of the bouncers at that club in Arizona.”
“I’m not impressed. Why didn’t you keep using Shield?”
“They’re twice the price.”
I leaned toward him feeling annoyed. “That’s because they’re professional.” I shook my head. “It’s my money and I want to use Shield.”
“What is with you lately? First you insist on bringing that Neanderthal back to your room last week, and now you’re taking over my job too, I guess.”
I bristled at his description of Colin. “Fuck you. Colin was awesome. He was respectful and cool.” I cleared my throat. “In fact, if he’s working for Shield, I’d like him to be assigned to me.”
“What?” Tom’s voice was sharp. “No way.”
“It’s not your decision.”
“You fucked the guy. That isn’t a good situation.”
I shrugged. “I want to hire him as my bodyguard, not sleep with him.” That wasn’t completely true. Mostly I wanted him because I trusted him to keep me safe and I liked his calm energy. But to be completely honest, I still held out hope that Colin would bend his rules a little for me. Maybe I could convince him that my being in the closet wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Has he been calling you and asking for a job?”
I laughed. “What? No.”
He twisted his lips, his expression suspicious. “I don’t believe you.”
“I’m not lying. For all I know he doesn’t even remember me.”
“You need to focus on your career. Colin would be too much of a distraction.”
“He’d be great at handling my security.”
“You know this how?”
“He handled himself well during that fire. Plus, my bodyguard spends a lot of time with me. You have no idea how awkward it is when the person’s personality and mine doesn’t click. It’s torture. Colin and Blade were everything I expect in a bodyguard. Frank and Tony are not.”
He pressed his lips tight, and then he shrugged. “Fine. Go ahead and hire your eye candy if he’s available. You’ll soon see what he’s really like.”
“You have a real chip on your shoulder where he’s concerned. I don’t get it.”
“I told you, he’s a distraction. That’s the last thing you need.”
“Yeah, God forbid I actually enjoy my life,” I grumbled.
He stood and grabbed the papers off the table. “Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? Your career is exploding. If things keep going the way they are, you’re going to have everything you ever dreamed of.” He clenched his jaw. “I still remember the scared kid who had nowhere to go, who slept on my couch and just wanted to be able to share his songs.”
I sighed. “I still want that, Tom.”
“I hope so. Because I’ve busted my ass for years to help you make that happen. Every single venue has sold out. How can that not be enough to keep you focused?”
I scowled. “I am focused. Why do you keep saying I’m not?”
“You’re letting your sexual appetite run your decisions.”
I bristled. “Excuse me if I have needs.”
“There are plenty of guys who can handle that for you. That Colin guy isn’t the end all.”
“I’ve done everything you ask. I just want the person who spends the most time with me to be someone I enjoy. Why is that such a bad thing?”
He moved to the door. “I have a really bad feeling about this guy, Colin. He’s going to be nothing but trouble.”
I shrugged. “For all I know he’s not even willing to work for me. But either way, I want to hire someone from Shield. I’m done using that other company.”
“Do what you want,” he snapped as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.
I was frustrated with Tom. He seemed to resent the idea that I might need more in my life than just the music. Maybe that was because he didn’t seem to need anything else. He always seemed to be working on something to do with my career. He’d never been married that I knew of, and I’d never even seen him go on a date.
Feeling tense after my run-in with Tom, I decided I needed some exercise to work off my resentment. I called Tony and had him come with me while I went for a jog. True to form, he ran beside me completely distracted by his phone the entire time. I tried talking to him a few times, but he could never hear anything I said because he had his earbuds in. By the time we got back to the hotel, I was determined to fire him. Whether Colin was willing to come work for me or not, I wanted a bodyguard who was engaged and present.
I showered, watched TV, and hit my minibar to help unwind. I wanted to call Colin to offer him the job, but I needed liquid courage to do it. I didn’t want to hang up before he could answer, like I had last time. After three little bottles of tequila, I decided I was loose enough to handle his rejection if it came to that.
I dialed his number and gripped my phone with my heart pounding.
“Hello?” His voice was hesitant, and he sounded like maybe he’d been sleeping.
I cleared my throat. “Hey, Colin?” I hadn’t felt this anxious since I’d performed open mics years ago. “It’s Riley.”
He laughed. “I know. My caller ID showed me it was you.”
“And you still picked up?” I grimaced at how nervous I sounded. I was an alpha. I should be brimming with confidence and self-assurance. Instead I was ready to hyperventilate because the sound of his voice made me embarrassingly jittery.
“Of course I picked up. It’s… it’s nice to hear your voice.”
“Yeah?” That made me feel a little better. “I tried calling once before, but I got interrupted.” By my lack of a spine.
“Yeah, I saw a missed call from you.” Now he sounded a little uncertain. “I was going to call you back, but I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“Of course you should have. Why wouldn’t you?”
There was a long silence, and then he said quietly, “You know why.”
My phone was sweaty against my cheek. I pushed my hair off my face and leaned back on the bed. “Did you go to your interview?”
“Yes.”
I stared at the ceiling. “And?”
“Shield hired me.”
My stomach flip-flopped. “Okay. That’s great.”
“Yep. I actually just got the call this morning.” He sounded excited.
“I’d have been shocked if they didn’t hire you.”
“Oh, really?” He chuffed. “Are you a bodyguard expert?”
I sighed. “I feel like it. I’ve gone through about ten of them the last year.”
“That’s a lot of turnover.”
“Maybe it’s me.” I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t think I’m that difficult of a client. But perhaps I can’t see myself clearly.”
“I doubt it. You seemed pretty chill. I’ve worked for some real assholes, and you seem like you’d be a great client.”
His compliment had my pulse racing. I sucked in a breath and asked him the question that was giving me an ulcer. “Do you have a job yet? Because if not, I want to hire you.”
Another long silence followed. “I don’t have an assignment yet.”
“Great.” I wanted to be excited, but his tone was somber and that didn’t fill me with good feelings.
“I don’t know if I can work for you.”
My stomach dropped. “Why?”
“Because we already have a history.” He sounded breathless.
Memories of him under me naked and panting made me flush with heat from my head to my toes. I rolled on my side and curled into a ball, my cock throbbing. “God, Colin. So what?”
“I’m afraid I can’t be professional around you.”
“I know you would be.” I grimaced. “I know in public you would be.”
He gave a gruff laugh. “Yeah, it’s later that I worry about. When we’re alone.”
I bit my lip, my body warm with arousal. “What we do in private is our personal business.”
“I don’t know, Riley.” His voice rumbled across the line.
“Come work for me.”
He exhaled a shaky breath. “You know my rule.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “I promise I won’t touch you unless you ask me to.”
“Giving yourself a loophole there?”
“Isn’t that fair? I won’t make a move on you. But I’m sure as hell not going to turn you down if you make one on me.”
“You get me all confused.” He sighed. “I need to talk to Blade and get his advice.”
His response surprised me, but I tried to sound positive. “Sure. Whatever you think.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Promise you won’t take any other job until we talk again?” The idea of him blowing me off made me anxious.
“I promise.”
“Then I look forward to your call.” I wanted to say so much more, but I didn’t want to pressure him.
“Night, Riley.” His voice was husky.
“Night, Colin.” I hung up and had another three bottles of tequila to help dull my hunger for him.
Maybe trying to coax him to work for me was a stupid idea. But I wanted him near me. Ever since our night together I’d craved him—his touch, his voice. I didn’t understand it. It was pure alpha instinct that was making me chase him like this, and I had to admit it felt kind of good to give in to that side of myself for once.