Chapter 7 (Rex):
Two uneventful days passed. Well, uneventful from the outside, but my head was reeling and Alex was really struggling. I could tell she was trying to be strong and didn’t want to fall apart again, but she was jumpy and withdrawn. She was suddenly very self degrading, which she never is. I’m scared to be honest. For the first time since the day I met her I wish she was all hardass and tough. She had to be if Pytor was going to take her. I hadn’t heard from Gunner about a time frame on all this, not for lack of trying. The guy must be hauled up somewhere, because I hadn’t heard a word since the day he dropped this bomb on me and Alex. Alex still hadn’t told her friends. I suspect she never will. She’ll want to go through all this and tell them after. Of course.
We both need a small break, a time to get our heads back on straight. We both are drowning under the weight of our secrets. I heard a saying back in the day, ‘secrets keep you sick’. I am beginning to see that could not be any more true.
“Alex?” I call. “Alex.”
“What?” she snaps, as she steps out of the bathroom. Her hair is in a towel and all she has on is an oversized t-shirt that does nothing to hide her body from me. I take a deep breath.
“Would you be open to doing something with me today?”
Her head flies back. She looks completely flustered, like it is the last thing she expected to hear me say.
“Like… a date?”
She quickly hides her hands behind her back. My heart does something funny when I see a pink tinge come to her cheeks.
“I mean, yeah. I guess that’s what it is,” I laugh. “I just want to spend time with you. Take you somewhere. No drama. No sex. Just… hang with you.”
Alex starts looking all sorts of flustered. I always forget how much it means to her when I just ask her to hang without expecting anything in return. Just fun. She looks on the verge of fighting tears, as she hides her face from me.
“Yeah. Sounds great. I’ll just get changed.” She sprints back into the restroom. Before she goes all the way in she pops her head back out. “And Rex, thanks.”
She smiles and shuts the door. I laugh shake my head. This girl and her layers. She’s not an onion, she’s a fucking walnut. Her exterior is so solid and hard to crack, but once you get inside you see who she really is. I walk off and get dressed. I don’t need to plan what I am going to do today. I already know. I kid you not, less than ten minutes later Alex pops out of her room ready to go. She’s wearing jeans that rest low on her hips, a chain belt and a purple tank top. Her brown blonde hair rests on her shoulders in curly waves. I silently laugh. She dresses like an emo teenager, but it suits her.
“Ready?”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“Ugh, I fucking hate surprises.” She cocks her hip to the side and glares at me. She’s about as intimidating as a kitten right now.
“Not gonna tell you. Let’s get to the car.”
She huffs, but I see the bounce in her step. She’s excited and no amount of attitude she tries to throw at me will disguise that fact. I follow her out of the condo. We drive for a while. We don’t say much mainly because I am so focused on my GPS and Alex is on my left jamming out like she is in a music video. Finally we arrive at a place that looks like a forest. Uh, okay. Alex looks at me confused. I’m confused too. I see the gate Logan referred to, so I act confident and gesture for Alex to follow. She has furrowed brows as she follows me, but the second she sees the gate her gaze flickers over to me, looking shocked. She knows where we are. A really sweet smile spreads across her face. She looks down trying to hide it. I open the gate for her and she goes in first. I put the ribbon up. We go through some brush and down quite a few rocks. In front of us is a stunning lake. I see why Logan and Sam come here for peace. An indescribable sense of peace takes over me. I hadn’t felt any semblance of peace since Gunner told me what his plan is. It feels incredible. I see it has the same effect on Alex. She is fiddling with the edge of the water. She looks at me with a soft expression, one I only get to see when we are totally alone. She keeps her gaze locked on me and then her hands go to the edge of her shirt. She lifts it off and her sports bra comes off with it. The look in her eye tells me that that was one hundred percent intended. God, she is so fucking sexy. She throws her belt off and closes the space between us. She plants her lips on mine, but it’s soft. Gentle. I’m slightly confused. She pulls away and looks at me. Her body is shaking. I rub my hands down her arms, wondering if she’s cold, although it is over eighty degrees outside.
“I love you Rex,” she whispers. My hands stop in shock. I grab the back of her head and kiss her with everything I have. She quickly removes me shirt and I smirk at her.
“I didn’t bring you down here to have sex. You know that right.”
“I know, but I like sex. I think it makes it better knowing you had no intention of just fucking me.”
“No sweetie.”
“Ugh, you’re a saint, but I’m gonna corrupt you a little.”
I smirk and push her to the ground with a controlled roughness. “Babe,” I laugh. “I’m plenty corrupted enough for you.”
“Prove it.”
I unbutton the top of her pants and slide one of my hands inside. She moans the second my finger finds her clit. At first I slowly run my hands along her clit and then I pick up the pace. She is moaning and writhing beneath me. I love seeing her like this; vulnerable. I pull away before she can come. She stops moving and glares at me. I smile and slowly remove the rest of her pants before she can remove mine. I go inside my back pocket and pull out the condom I snuck in there. Alex bursts out laughing.
“All that bullshit about no sex, huh?”
I laugh too. “Hey my intentions were pure, but I still gotta be prepared. You’re hot.” I wink and she keeps laughing. I’m secretly glad she’s not pissed. I really brought it just in case.
I slowly position myself over her. The sound of water gently hitting the shore rings in the background. I position myself at her entrance, but before I slide inside her I move the hair out of her face. I look her dead in the eye.
“I love you too Alex. I’m sorry things have always had to be so hard, but I’ll always love you. I never stopped.”
She kisses me hard, and I see the tears in her eyes and she runs her hands through my hair. As we get lost in the feel of each other’s lips. I slowly slip inside her. She gasps. I make love to her right there by the water, and for once she doesn’t fight me. She shows me how much she loves me. When we are done I pull her into my side as she cries. Overwhelmed by the idea someone truly loves her. After a long while she pulls away and looks down at me. Her eyes are teary and her hair is messy and all over her beautiful face. She’s never looked more beautiful than she does in this moment.
“We have to go back to Missouri soon don’t we?”
I sigh. I know that she isn’t worried about Missouri itself per se. She’s worried what’s going to have to happen when we go back there. I hate that we have to talk about this now, but there is no better place than here.
“Yes babe, but I will protect you. Everything will be okay. Gunner has a plan.”
He better. God, please let him have a plan.
She just nods and swallows. “Tomorrow I assume?”
“If that works for you?”
“Yeah it’s fine.”
She stands abruptly and runs into the water, still fully naked. I watch as she dips her head back and then pops up, running her hands through her hair like she is cleansing herself in the waters. I dress quietly and let her have her moment. She is trying to deal with everything, and I know first hand how cleansing water can be. After Mia died, I used to take my mom to the lake by our house everyday. We’d both just go there and let out what we needed to. It didn’t fix anything, but it helped us cope.
It’s about ten minutes later I hear the water ripple and I see Alex emerge from the water. She put on her clothes and walked up to me.
“I’m ready to go.”
I feel myself nod, and from there we both wordlessly make our way back down the same path we came. This day did not go as hoped, but there is nothing I can do about that now. I try to hold onto the good of today. I try to stay in the moment. Alex told me she loved me, and I was able to tell it to her. Show it to her. I could never regret that.
Once we are back at the car I think about our next steps. The reality is we are leaving in a little over twenty four hours. Coming to terms with that changes things. It is not like we can go on and have fun. Go act like we both aren’t having to face our worst nightmares in the blink of an eye.
“Do you want to go see Sam and Dana?” Say bye. “We can see if Dana wants to come back with us.”
“That sounds perfect. Thank you.”
That is all that is said until we get to Sam’s. No words. No comfort. This time we are both just as lost and confused. All I want it to take her pain away, and I’m beginning to think that will never be possible.