Chapter 12
Lost Boys
My nostrils flared when we landed and my stomach lurched. Ana coiled the Rope of Fire and, after instructing the scarf to dress her in her typical hunting dress and soft boots, attached it to a strap at her waist. She offered to make me new clothes too, but I was used to my black shirt and pants, though I did accept a sturdily woven pair of shoes. It was night and the sky was full of stars. Too full of stars for a great modern city. We were in the distant past. “Where are we?” I asked.
“I am not certain,” she said as she pulled the bag across her shoulder. It contained all her weapons except the bow, which hung there from a loop when she didn’t keep it on her back. She murmured some words and handed me a bag of trail food, containing jerky of some type, dried fruits, and nuts. She pulled out a handful for herself and popped a nut in her mouth before saying, “Kadam’s instructions only say that we must liberate the Lady Silkworm.”
“Lady Silkworm? Are you sure?”
Ana nodded and I thought as I ate. It had been a long time since Kelsey told me the story of Lady Silkworm. I wasn’t entirely sure I could still remember all the details. She handed me a water pouch from her pack. Now that we had all the gifts of Durga and the amulet was whole, the Golden Fruit could access the water piece of the amulet and give us water. As much as I liked tea and lemonade, water was what I craved most. I drank deeply and handed her the bag to refill. “I only recall bits of her story,” I said. “Kelsey met her in a temple, and she told Kelsey that Durga had saved her from marrying the emperor who killed the man she loved. He was a cloth seller or silk maker, I think.”
“Are we meant to save both of them then? Her as well as her silk maker?” Ana asked.
“I don’t know. Kadam never wanted us messing up history.”
Finished with my meal, I drained another waterskin and handed her back the bag. After she stowed it in her pack, Ana turned in a circle and then crouched down to study the road we’d found. “Wagons have gone this way,” she said, pointing to the east. “If we are to find the emperor, we’d better find a city first.”
We walked side by side until an hour or so before sunrise. I’d offered to carry the pack for her but the most she would agree to was to take turns. I understood the feeling of security in having your weapons on your person, but the burden of carrying all the weapons was a heavy one, even for us. The sky was dark and gray and the countryside was beginning to waken. Birds sang, welcoming the sun, and we were soon joined by a fellow traveler who sat atop a cart filled with hay. The scent of pipe smoke drifted down to me.
“Hello?” I called up to him.
The surly man mumbled a greeting, and I ran through languages in my brain until I figured his out. My Mandarin was not strong on my own, but the power the goddess had at her disposal made communication smooth.
Even though the man understood me, he still didn’t appear overly friendly.
“We are travelers seeking an audience with the emperor,” I pressed. “Can you tell us if we are following the right road?”
“The emperor?” He stared at us in amazement and then began laughing. Though he thought us naive at best, he told us to stay on the road until it forked after two more hours on foot and then take the path to the right. He soon left us behind as we slowed to talk.
“I believe we’re in China,” I said, “based on his clothing and the dialect he used.”
“Did Lokesh not come from China?” Ana asked.
“He did, but it would be too much of a coincidence for him and Lady Silkworm to be born around the same time and place, especially in China. From everything Kadam and Kelsey put together on Lokesh’s origins, I would guess that he was born a few centuries earlier than this, during a time of warfare. You are right that we should be careful though.”
We passed others on the road, and as we walked, Ana asked a lot of questions about what Sunil’s life would be like now that he lived in Nilima’s time. I told her all about what marvels the future had to offer and how women were given opportunities to work and learn alongside men. We spoke of modern transportation, movies, medicine, computers, and cars, and how money was stored in banks rather than in a home. Even though I was mostly sticking to the pleasant things, she expressed concern over Sunil having no money. I told her that Nilima was very financially comfortable and Sunil would be able to learn a trade if he wanted to.
“Can he not be a warrior?” she asked. “He is skilled in combat.”
“Warriors are different in that time. Wars are not fought with arms and swords or bows and arrows, they are fought with great machines or bombs.”
“Bombs?”
I tried to think of something she would understand. “Do you know catapults that throw heavy rocks?”
“Yes.”
“A bomb is like a great rock, only much more powerful. Instead of breaking a wall, it will flatten an entire city.”
“I see.” She mulled the idea over in her mind before saying, “There is not much honor in winning with a bomb.”
“No,” I agreed. “Unfortunately there aren’t many opportunities for a man such as Sunil or I in the future.”
“But Ren seems to have adapted well.”
“Ren has always been a diplomat. He signs papers and smiles, charms old women, and flatters old men. That is a skill that is still useful in the future.”
“Ah.”
The early-morning air was crisp with the bite of fall. The sun broke over the horizon and I glanced over at her. She worried her lip with her teeth. “What is it?” I asked.
“I do not wish to offend you with my question.”
“I will try not to be offended. What do you wish to know?” I wanted to show her that I could be as understanding and accepting of her as she had been with me. For far too many months, I’d pushed her away, preferring to be alone in my misery. There was a lot more to her than met the eye, and I found, for the first time ever in our relationship, that I wanted to get to know her better, and have her know me as well.
“What…what would you have done in the future had you gone back to be with Kelsey?”
“I…” My mouth snapped closed. We walked in silence for a moment.
“I have offended you,” she said. “I apologize.”
“No, it’s not that. I…I suppose I never thought much past the idea of being with her. I knew I wanted a family. We had plenty of money so I didn’t need to work or have a career. I guess I would have just gone to the office every day.”
“Work? Office? Do you mean that room high in the sky with the walls of glass?”
“Yes.”
“What do you do in there? Jab your fingers repeatedly to make the magic window tell you things?”
I grunted and rubbed my jaw. “Mostly, I spent my time making trouble for Nilima. Board meetings bored me. I have no mind for finance or business. Though the computer, or magic window, as you call it, is a very useful tool, I much prefer laboring with my hands.”
Ana nodded though her brow was furrowed. I knew she was trying to understand what I was talking about. I’d explained some things to her but there was a lot I hadn’t bothered with. “I, too, prefer to labor with my hands,” she said. “I cannot imagine a life of sitting.”
More travelers appeared on the road and we fell silent. I thought back to the dull and seemingly endless days I’d sat in that office, trying to pay attention to the things Nilima taught me. I couldn’t imagine a more intolerable life. I wasn’t cut out for that. The jungle was my home. Truthfully, I felt more at ease in the past than in the future. My workplace didn’t have the sounds of ringing phones or dinging elevators. It was full of jangling horse bridles, the cries of battle, the twang of a loosed arrow, and the clang of sparring swords.
Not that battle was all that filled my mind. I liked being in nature. Cities stifled me. I felt trapped inside them. Instead of plush carpets or tiled floors, I longed to walk on rustling leaves. Well-worn footpaths instead of sidewalks. I liked the slow and easier life of the past. Without Kelsey and my brother to anchor me, I often felt out of place in the future, like a relic, or an old sword, rusting on a wall somewhere. The cultured quiet of the past called to me.
The more I thought about the noise—the brash booming voices of the media, the never-ending advertisements, the constant need to acquire more and more as if fulfilment in life only came through the possession of objects—the more I realized how difficult a life there would have been. I wondered if Kelsey would have been happy living quietly at my side.
Once, as a gift, I’d given her a key. In my dreams, I’d imagined building a home in my old jungle and living a simple life with her. But would she have embraced that life or despised me for it? Would our children have abandoned us and grown to hate me for holding them back, away from the modern world and all it offered? The idea left a caustic taste in my mouth. I’d never asked her how she felt or what she envisioned for our future.
I thought getting Kelsey to commit to me would be the hardest part, but perhaps the difficulties would have been more than I expected. A life in Kelsey’s time might not have been easy for either of us. I ground my jaw, not wanting to accept that I had any limitations, that I might not have been successful according to the standards of Kelsey’s world. Love was supposed to be enough. To consider what might have happened next made me feel dispirited.
Ana’s arm brushed mine and I felt the soothing tingle of our connection. Her stride matched mine. She walked confidently with her head high and her shoulders back, though we were in a place and a time unknown to either of us. Her hair was tangled and she had a smudge of dirt on her face, but she was still unmistakably beautiful. Even without the airs of a goddess, Anamika was the type of woman who could crook her finger and any man with any sense would come running. The strange thing was, she didn’t seem aware of this power.
There was no doubt in my mind that she would be even more out of place in the future than I was, and yet I could still envision crowds parting for her as she strode boldly through them. They’d fall back in awe of her as if she was as magnificent and rare as a unicorn in the center of a city. The glittering dust of magic would trail behind her, and all would follow in her footsteps, hoping that just a little of her radiance would rub off on them.
We’d fought in many battles together, and when I thought of my role as her tiger, of carrying her into combat, the overwhelming feeling I had was one of pride. We’d passed through mud, fleas, death, and fields of fallen soldiers and she never flinched. Not once. She was firm in her resolve to fulfil her role as goddess. No one deserved it more than she did. She was pretty much the perfect choice. Ana was just perfect all around.
“I believe that is the city wall up ahead,” Ana said with an authoritative voice.
Squinting, I shaded my eyes. “I think you’re right. What’s the plan?”
“Do we need to change our appearance?” she asked, trusting my opinion.
“I don’t think anyone would recognize us. We might need to update our wardrobe, however.”
“Wardrobe?”
“Clothing.”
“Ah. Then we will be ready to do so.” She nodded curtly and we strode together through the city gates.
The city was bustling. We followed the bulk of the travelers and ended up at a central market. The cloying smells of cooking meat were coupled with the bitter tang from the offal of pack animals. Yards and yards of silk whipped in the morning breeze. I guided Anamika in that direction, hoping to ask the vendor some questions about silk makers and the seamstress who lived in the emperor’s house.
A snarling dog beneath the table leapt at us and kept barking until I growled softly deep in my throat. He whined and tucked his tail before slinking off. The vendor finally turned to us, his eyes widening when he saw Anamika.
“Some pretty silks for a pretty lady?” he asked. “I have the finest the city has to offer.”
“We’re looking for a certain silk maker, one who might have recently fallen out of favor with the emperor?”
I saw the shutter fall over his eyes. This was a man who liked possessing secrets.
“Perhaps a small token of our sincerity might help you remember?” I suggested.
He held out a plate and Anamika dropped a gold nugget inside. It bumped around loudly, and the man quickly snatched it up and rolled it between long, dirty fingers. His nails were overgrown but filed smoothly. Probably so as to not ravel the silk. He peered at us keenly, then said, “You must be very confident in your woman to allow her to hold your purse strings.”
I leaned forward. “Who said they’re my purse strings?”
The man deftly pocketed the gold nugget and turned his attention fully on Anamika. The corner of his mouth was lifted in a sly grin. He drew out a lovely roll of blue silk and held it up to her face.
“Not the blue,” I murmured. “She should wear gold.”
Anamika lifted her eyes to mine and gave me a small smile. “It is lovely,” she said to the vendor dismissively. “Tell me, have you remembered anything about the silk maker?”
The man moved away and clucked his tongue before bringing back a gorgeous embroidered scarf. “Ah,” he said, “but you haven’t seen the best we have to offer.”
Proudly, he unfolded the square and revealed it in all its splendor. Anamika gasped and touched the threads that wove together to show winking dragons and a phoenix. Boldly, the man lifted his hand with the scarf clutched between his fingers, as if he was going to touch Ana’s cheek. “Feel it against your skin,” he said.
Before he could get near, I grabbed his wrist in a firm grip, stopping him just inches from her face, and forcefully pushed his arm back down. “The lady doesn’t like to be touched,” I warned.
With the easy, dimpled smile of an experienced salesman, he backed off. “Of course, of course,” he said, his temper wily and bombastic. “I was merely offering her a closer view.”
“I’m sure you were,” I replied.
The man winked at Anamika and then said, “I have heard rumors of the emperor’s esteemed fiancée and her fondness for a certain man. Perhaps this is the one you refer to.”
“And where can we find him?” Anamika asked.
“I buy silks from his family often. I could arrange a meeting between you if the price is right.”
Gritting my teeth, I said, “How much?”
“Oh, not much, not much. A trifle really.”
“What do you desire?” Anamika said.
The man licked his lips greedily. I knew that look. He desired to rob us and it wasn’t only our money he had in mind. I could easily imagine what he saw when he looked at Ana. The vendor only looked on the surface. He saw an uncommonly beautiful woman, unattached, and with only one man to guard her. My hackles rose with the desire to spring, to protect her, but at the same time, I knew she, of all women in the world, had the ability to protect herself.
As if sensing my distress, Ana put a hand on my arm. “This is what we offer.” She held out a brilliant ruby. I wasn’t sure where she’d gotten it, but she always carried various types of gems and coins in her bag for just such a purpose. “Be quick with your answer,” she warned the man. “For this is a generous sum and there is another seller of silk down the way. Perhaps he will be more helpful.”
The man lowered his brows, snatched the ruby from Anamika, and snapped his fingers. A young boy scrambled to his feet from beneath the table. The dog he’d been petting nudged the boy’s leg, wanting his attention back. “Xing-Xing,” the vendor barked. “Take these visitors to the silk maker’s home. And you’d better return within the hour. Otherwise you’ll feel the back of my hand. Understand?”
The boy nodded vigorously and ducked under the bolts of fabric, seemingly appearing out of nowhere between us. “Come,” he said and held out his hand to Anamika. She smiled at him and took it as he quickly wove his way between people, dragging her along, heedless of those who yelled at him for getting in their way.
It was all I could do to follow their bobbing heads through the thick throng. The boy didn’t slow until we entered a new district, strangely devoid of people. His eyes darted from side to side and he licked his lips nervously. “Are you worried?” Anamika asked him.
“This area is famous for thieves and robbers.” He glanced back at me. “I don’t think your man could handle more than a couple.
I frowned until Ana said, “I assure you that Sohan could handle many dozens of thieves even without my help.”
The corner of my mouth lifted and the savvy boy turned to study me. “I think you exaggerate,” he told her after his perusal. “He doesn’t look that formidable.”
We soon got to prove exactly how formidable we were. Just as the boy suspected, we were very quickly surrounded by a half dozen thieves. They were wiry and young. Some of them were not much older than the boy guiding us. I held up my hands. “We do not wish to harm you,” I said in a flat, calm tone. “Go in peace and we will forget your disrespect to the lady.”
To his credit, the dirty boy guide pulled a short knife from his belt and stood before Anamika, guarding her, a fierce expression on his face.
She snaked an arm around his chest which served to make him stand up as tall as he could, puffing out his chest. I knew she did it to protect him but he likely believed she was cowering behind him. I understood the feeling. Anamika inspired bravery like no other.
Holding up my hands to show I had no weapons, I turned in a circle to study my opponents. By my count there were seven assailants. Four of them carried knives. One had a short sword and the others were large in stature with no weapons visible except their fists. “Very well,” I said, cracking my neck. “Come on then.”
I heard the shush of steel as the sword was drawn from the sheath. The boys circled us, their eyes hard. They stuck to the dark shadows of the alleyway and moved in such a way that I easily spotted their plan. The thieves paid no heed to the boy or Anamika. They probably figured the least of them was a match for her. Instead, they focused on me.
At once they rushed, the boy with the sword coming at me first to distract me while the smaller, younger boys would try to stab me in the leg or the back. I sensed more than saw the young man coming at me from the side as the one with the sword came head on. Playing along, I kept my hands and eyes raised to the first boy and waited until just the right moment, then my hand came down on the arm of the boy with the knife. With one move, his weapon fell and I grabbed him, tossing him into the path of the other attacking from behind.
They fell in a tumble. The boy with the sword slashed repeatedly but he was untrained. I shifted my body one way and another, taking out the other boys one at a time, while letting him continue to come at me. When they were all down except him, each nursing various bruises and cracked jaws, I turned my attention to his moves.
“That’s better,” I said. After another thrust, I coached, “You’re leading with the wrong foot.”
“Are you really teaching them to fight better?” Ana asked. “They are thieves.”
“How right you are, my lady. It’s time to end this.” Spinning in a circle, I caught the arm of my opponent between my torso and my own arm just as he thrust the sword. As I twisted his wrist, the sword dropped into my hand. I turned and held it beneath his chin. Then I glanced up at the young man hidden above us. He’d been preparing to leap on top of me. “If you’re smart, you’ll stay where you are,” I said.
The young thief froze in place. Ana looked up and smiled at him. “As the leader of this company, you are responsible for their actions. Do you surrender to us?”
The young man threw down a knife. It was a beautiful dagger. One an emperor might wear. I picked it up and ran my thumb down along the edge. “We’ll keep your token as payment for the injustice done to us this day,” I said. “Remember to pick your marks more wisely in the future. Looks can be deceiving. Now run off and lick your wounds.”
We left the alley behind and kept on. “You shouldn’t have let them go so easily,” Anamika said.
“They were just misguided boys,” I answered her.
“Perhaps. But misguided boys turn into hateful, cruel men.”
“Not all of them.”
“All it takes is one,” she said softly. “The sword of brutality is honed on the whetstone of hardship—turn the hilt one way and you see suffering, both on the part of the wielder as well as that of his victims. On the other side, you’ll find contempt for self and others.”
“But you forget that hardship also makes heroes. Some rise above and become better because of it.”
Anamika turned away from me to look straight ahead. “Most heroes are simply villains who haven’t yet revealed their true nature.”
“I don’t believe that, Ana. And frankly, I’m surprised you do.”
“There is much you don’t know about me, Kishan.”
I nudged her with my arm. “What happened to Sohan? Or do you think me a villain now too?”
She looked up at me. “I do not think you are a villain. Nor do I think you are a hero.”
“Then what am I?” I asked.
“You are just…my tiger,” she answered.
I wasn’t sure what to make of her answer or if it was a good thing or a bad thing for her to think of me in such a way. Anamika didn’t necessarily enjoy playing the part of a goddess though she loved being of help to people. She was formidable in battle, but she struck me as more of a mother bear defending her young than as a vengeful goddess.
It would certainly be easier to make my life decisions based on the instincts of a tiger, but I was more than that. Kelsey would have had no trouble assuring me of my heroic status, but in a way, it was nice that Ana didn’t assign me that role. It was almost as if she didn’t expect anything from me. She let me be what I wanted to be in that moment, whether it was a man, a tiger, a hero, a companion…even a villain.
Not that I was anywhere close to Lokesh, but wasn’t it villainous of me to consider taking away Kelsey’s happy ending? The definition of a bad guy was that he wanted to get the things he desired no matter the cost to others. It would be so easy for me to turn back time and destroy the love that existed between Ren and Kelsey. I had the power to pave a path directly to her heart. But didn’t love require sacrificing?
My thoughts were interrupted when our young guide stopped and pointed to a gated home. “This is the factory and the household of the silk maker,” he announced.
“Very good,” I said. “Ana will give you a coin for your trouble.”
She crouched down and touched her fingertip to the nose of the boy. “Perhaps I can offer you something more than a coin,” she said.
“What’s that?” the boy asked hesitantly, his voice croaking in a girlish way, a sign that he was embarking on the transformation from boy to man. My thoughts drifted back to the time when I was in his position—a twelve-year-old youngster, looking with hope at Ana.
“How would you like to come work for me?” she asked.
I put my hand on her arm. “Are you sure?” I murmured.
“I have looked into the heart of this young one. He is brave and true. And the silk seller is not your father, is he?” she said.
The boy shook his head. Grimly, he said, “He is my master. I do not think he will sell me at any cost.”
“Then we won’t buy you,” Ana said. “We’ll steal you like those thieves.”
The boy’s eyes widened gravely. “No. You cannot do such a thing. He will find me and punish me!”
“He cannot find you where I would send you.” She placed her palm on his cheek and crooned, letting a little of her power light her skin. “Can you find it within to trust me?” she asked.
He nodded, a lovesick expression on his face.
“Good. Hold on to my hand and I will use my power to whisk you away to my home. You will find a servant there; his name is Bhavin. Tell him that you are to be his apprentice and you will serve the goddess personally. I promise I will come and see to your settling in very soon.”
“Yes, lady.”
Xing-Xing bowed over Anamika’s hand, and she clutched the amulet with her other one, whispering the words that would send the boy back to our mountaintop palace.
After he disappeared, I folded my arms across my chest. “Are you going to make a habit of collecting young men to fall at your feet?” I drawled.
“I did not choose to keep him for vanity’s sake. His situation necessitated my intervention.”
Sighing, I said, “You’re a light touch, Ana.”
“What does this mean?”
“It means you are easily persuaded.”
“On the contrary. It is difficult to persuade me.”
I took one step closer, rising to the challenge in her eyes. She froze stiffly but didn’t move as I gave a guttural growl and lowered my head to her neck. Closing my eyes, I inhaled her intoxicating scent, my chest rumbling as I grazed the line of her jaw lightly with my stubbled cheek. It only took a few seconds before I felt her hands on my chest, pushing me away.
“It appears you are right,” I said, moving back readily. “You are very difficult to persuade, that is, if a man is making the attempt. I think I would have had an easier time befriending you as a boy.”
“Friends do not”—she gestured toward her throat—“touch one another in such a manner.”
She pressed her fingers to her neck as if trying to brush off my feathery touch.
“Why are you so frightened of me?” I asked. Even though she was closed off to me, I could sense her roiling emotions.
“I am not frightened. I simply do not wish to indulge your habits of…of caressing women.”
“Despite what you think, I do not go around caressing women.”
Sighing, Ana said, “Can we not discuss this later? I would like to complete this task before I am summoned again.”
After a moment, I nodded and she picked up a dangling mallet and hit the gong by the gate. It gave off a silvery sort of mellifluous sound. An old man appeared almost instantly. I wondered how much he’d overheard.
“What is it you want?” he asked.
“We have come on a matter of some urgency,” Anamika said, in what I believed was too animated a voice. She was still nervous. Without invasively reading her or her telling me, there was no way to know why. Ana continued, “We believe your master’s life is in danger.”