Chapter 1
Phet Revealed
My muscles tensed and I stopped breathing.
Kelsey.
I pictured her face. The last words we’d shared.
I’d been an absolute idiot.
Six months before, Phet had said that Durga needed a tiger and that one of us must make the choice to stay. When Ren and I moved off to talk about it, my brother completely refused to even consider staying behind. He told me he would go where Kelsey went. There was no other choice for him, he’d declared stubbornly.
Phet spoke to us quietly then and explained that Sunil, Anamika’s brother, would be returning with Kelsey to the future and thus would be leaving his sister behind. I’d glanced at Anamika and seen her gripping her recently rescued brother’s arm. She was still unaware that her brother would leave. I knew through my connection to the goddess that his departure would be a terrible blow.
Phet emphasized, “Durga must fulfill her purpose. Generations of people will be influenced by her. Without a companion, she will be left alone and the world as we know it will change utterly. A tiger is meant to embrace this life. You must choose.”
As new as our bond was at the time, I was aware, even then, that Anamika hated the idea of posing as a goddess, destiny or not. The odds were good that without someone at her side, she’d likely head back to India and give up the life of the goddess.
Rubbing my hands across my face, I suggested, “Why can’t her brother stay with her?”
“Her brother is a part of her human life. She must step into the role of an immortal, see to her duty, and leave thoughts of her past behind. Trust me when I say, it will be better for both of them to place their feet on separate paths.”
Phet knew more than he was sharing. That much was always true, so when he said Sunil needed to leave his sister, I didn’t question it further.
Ren seemed to come to the same conclusion because he nodded and answered, “Then, I will stay and serve, but only if Kelsey remains as well.”
Adamantly, Phet shook his head. “Kahl-see’s course lies in the future.”
The old monk headed off to console Kelsey and left me alone with my brother. “She’s my fiancée,” I began.
“I loved her first, Kishan.”
“Yes. But you walked away.”
“It was a mistake. One I don’t plan on making again.”
The two of us went back and forth for a few minutes trying to convince the other to stay, but neither of us budged. Phet returned and told us an answer needed to be given soon, and as he said it, he gave me a look. A look that suggested I should end this.
What did that mean? Was he trying to tell me I should be the one to give in? To give up the girl I loved? Or maybe he meant I was the one who understood the calling of Durga, who had the connection. I shifted uncomfortably.
Desperately, I whispered to Ren. “You know what I’ve seen, what my vision in the Grove of Dreams showed me.”
Ren nodded reluctantly.
I pressed, “If I stay behind, then Kelsey’s son will…” I glanced around to see if anyone was listening. No one was. They seemed to be giving us a private moment. “Will never be born,” I finished with a whisper.
“You don’t know that,” Ren stubbornly affirmed.
“He had my eyes, Ren. Mine!”
Ren looked away as if it pained him to see the proof of Kelsey’s future son in my direct gaze. Instead, he said softly, “You owe me, brother.”
I sucked in a breath as his words spun in my mind. I owed him.
Did I?
I thought back on what I’d done, how I’d betrayed him by not only stealing his fiancée, Yesubai, but by endangering his life and our kingdom. Then, with Kelsey, I’d pressed her, kissed her, when I knew she still had feelings for Ren.
Later, I’d tried to be noble and promised her that she could decide the terms of our relationship. But when I finally had her, I knew I would never let her go, no matter the circumstances. I did owe Ren, but I just couldn’t bring myself to give him the girl I loved.
Frustrated, I ran a hand over the back of my neck. I glanced at the group and noticed Kelsey was missing. “Where is she?” I asked Phet.
“She mourns for the one she believes will stay behind,” Phet replied.
My body stilled and I cocked my head, listening to the sounds of her soft weeping. Her heartbreak carried through the forest as clearly as if she were standing right next to me. All I wanted was to go to her. Stop her tears. Heal her hurt.
I took a step forward and then hesitated. Suddenly, I realized two things. The first was that I knew who she was crying for. She believed that Ren would stay behind with Durga.
When I’d taken on the role of my great aunt Saachi, Kelsey had confessed her feelings about Ren’s so-called heroic tendencies. What she didn’t know was that my brother much preferred the company of diplomats over warriors. The only reason he leapt into the breach time and time again was because he was crazy in love with my fiancée.
The second thing I realized was that my brother had been attuned to her and had heard her crying long before I’d even realized she was gone. His overblown sensitivity toward Kelsey verged on the irritating. Was I always to compete with my brother?
Shrugging off my insecurities over Ren, I listened to the woman I loved weep.
How can I leave her?
Another part of my mind whispered, How can I not?
The weight of the world suddenly seemed as if it fell upon my shoulders, and I was no Atlas with the strength to carry the load. I’d break under the burden.
Can I do this? Can I leave her?
I acknowledged the fact that she still loved Ren. Her feelings were obvious to anyone who saw them together, but I believed that, given enough time, she’d come to love me just as much, if not more. Remembering how devastated she was when Ren died, how heartbroken she felt when he didn’t remember her, and grudgingly, how she reached for him first when we’d rescued her from Lokesh left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Ren spoke then, distracting me from my thoughts, and said softly as he stared at the trees where she’d gone, “I can’t live without her, Kishan.”
So what does that mean? That I should just walk away? Forget happiness? Forget my future? Forget the family I longed for, the one I saw in vision?
Rubbing my hand over my jaw, I considered my brother. That he loved Kelsey was certain. If I stepped away, I knew he would make her happy. The question was…could Kelsey be happy without Ren?
I knew the answer in an instant.
No.
She’d try her best, but a part of her would always grieve for him.
The choice was suddenly obvious. The tiger that stayed behind would have to be…me.
Letting that idea sink into my mind was about as painful as being shot full of arrows. Hundreds of little hurts stung me at once. If someone had come along and yanked my beating heart from my chest, I would have thanked him for the favor. Even breathing hurt.
Phet glanced at me urgently once again and I nodded slightly.
Marveling that I had the strength to do it, I put my hand on my brother’s arm and said, “You won’t have to, brother. Just let me…let me say good-bye,” I murmured.
Ren turned surprised eyes on me, then gripped my arm as well. He nodded, with an expression of relief and gratitude.
The pain eased a fraction. It still crushed me unbearably, but I was finally able to look my brother in the eye. After centuries of guilt and distrust, I felt the sweet relief of forgiveness and sensed my sacrifice had mended the gulf that I’d caused between us—a divide that should never have been. Suddenly, I felt as if I were the wiser, older brother.
As I moved through the trees to say good-bye to the one I loved, a part of me hoped that she’d deny it, that she’d insist on me returning with her. When she erupted into hysterical sobs upon seeing me and I realized she was crying not for me but for him, I knew that my cause was lost. That her love for him was, and would always be, stronger. She claimed she couldn’t let me go but the fact was…she did.
I’d regretted my choice ever since. I’d been an idiot for allowing it to happen. For allowing my need to mend broken fences with my brother to influence my decision about Kelsey. I rationalized that Kelsey was distraught because she thought Ren was staying behind and that if she had had a few minutes longer to consider my staying in the past, she would have been just as upset.
Now, here Phet stood before me, six months later, and said that Kelsey needed me. Inwardly, I thrilled at the idea. Perhaps all was not lost. Perhaps she’d realized that she did love me after all.
I let out a pent-up breath and asked, “Is she in danger?” when what I really wanted to ask was, “Does she miss me?”
“She is. Kelsey is in grave danger. But not the kind you’re thinking of.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. Then another thought rose to the surface. “Wait a minute. You called her Kelsey, not Kahl-see.” I folded my arms across my chest. “What exactly is going on here?”
Phet exhaled slowly and said, “Perhaps it is best if you know everything.”
He clutched a necklace emblem hidden beneath his robes, and the familiar gesture confused me. A sense of foreboding trickled through my veins and I took a step back. “What…what are you doing?”
The little man straightened to his full height and smiled as he said, “Divine Scarf, please return me to my normal form.”
Brown robes shifted as threads wound around his body. What I was seeing made no sense. I knew the Divine Scarf was, right now, in Durga’s care, and even if he’d gotten ahold of the scarf somehow, then why was he changing to a different form?
The magic swirled around him, obscuring his face, and then, when the threads finally settled, I fell to my knees and tears blurred my vision.
“It’s not…not possible,” I whispered, unable to believe my own eyes.
“You know that it is,” he answered gently.
“How did you—?” I swallowed thickly, overcome by emotion. “When?”
“Ah…the when is a bit complicated. The how I will show you.”
He took hold of my arm and helped me to stand. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled and said, “It is good to see you, Kishan.”
“Words cannot express how it feels to see you once again, Kadam.”
“Yes,” he murmured somewhat distractedly. “Now, let’s see what we can do about saving Miss Kelsey, shall we?”
I nodded, completely overwhelmed that my mentor, friend, and surrogate father had somehow returned from the dead.