Chapter 30
Shrine of Air
We entered the village to find it much like I remembered, and I realized just how much time had passed. The trees were now much taller, their branches interlocking overhead. A feast was prepared for us, and Faunus himself bent over Ana’s hand after she transformed into the goddess Durga. Instead of allowing me to take my normal form, Ana changed me into the orange tiger.
“And how are our visitors faring?” she asked as fairies swarmed around her, touching her hair, and dozens of them perched on each and every one of her eight graceful arms. There had been twelve babies born of the trees the last time we were in the village, and now a thriving race of tree folk resided in the settlement.
Dozens and dozens had joined the ranks of the first babies that had been born. As I looked at the trees, I saw the telltale signs of old scars where branches had broken away to welcome the newborn villagers. The fairies no longer needed to watch over the young infants; instead, the elders of each house cared for the newborns. The role of the fairies had now changed. Rather than minding the younglings, they cared for the fauna and provided light for the people at night.
“Goddess,” the Silvanae people chanted as they bowed to her. “We have long awaited your return.”
Faunus answered Ana’s question. “They have been looked after as you instructed so many years ago.”
“Wonderful!” Ana said as she walked around the village, admired the huts, and touched the silver-haired heads of the young. Fairies whispered in her ears, causing her to laugh. Her one-sided conversations sounded delightful, and I wished I knew what they’d said to make her so happy.
The three nymphs who’d attended Kelsey, came up and asked Ana if she would like to bathe or eat. I remembered how appealing Kells had looked in her dress spun of flowers and wasn’t opposed to the idea of seeing Ana attired in a similar manner. I bumped against her leg, trying to encourage her.
“No, thank you,” she said. “Though we would be glad of some food to take with us on our journey. I do so enjoy your honey cakes.”
“Of course, Goddess.”
The Silvanae scrambled to produce a woven bag of honey cakes, a flagon of sweet water, and various pastries and fruits.
“Thank you,” she said, and passed the bag from hand to hand until she’d slung it across her shoulders. “We will depart now, but please call upon us if you have need of us. We promise to return to visit you again someday. Perhaps, next time, I will take some clippings for my own garden.”
The queen of the Silvanae said they would cultivate their prettiest flowers for just such a purpose and would wait upon our return. After a few last instructions regarding Kelsey and my former self, Ana stroking my head as she did so, she turned to leave, and I followed her down the path. When the last of the fairies trailed away, Ana changed back into her normal attire and said, “I’m going to miss this place.”
When I didn’t answer, she looked down and snapped her fingers. I morphed into my human form. “Have I said that I don’t care for the color orange?” I said.
Ana laughed and handed me a honey cake and a fat piece of fruit. As I popped the cake in my mouth, she touched my arm and we left the land of Shangri-La far behind. The colors of the beautiful land swirled around us and were replaced by a dim grayness. Ana handed me the flagon, and I took a long drink and began eating the fruit as she explored the dusty temple.
“Where is this place?” she asked as she licked her thumb.
“You don’t know?”
She shook her head. “I just told the amulet to take us to the next time and place on the list.”
Glancing around, it became clear immediately. “It’s actually fairly close to our mountain home. This is a temple of Durga in Nepal.”
“Is there anything special about this visit you wish to tell me?”
I rubbed my palm over my cheek as I considered. “Well, it was just me and Kells, this time. Kadam wasn’t here and Ren had been captured by Lokesh. He was languishing in that torture chamber.” Ana shivered delicately. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
She waved a hand. “I am fine, Sohan. Besides, hearing of it will not be as difficult as seeing it.”
“We’re going to see it?” I asked.
“It’s further down the list, but yes. We are the ones who will take his memory.”
Blowing out a breath, I walked over to where she stood, looking out a window at the night sky. I put a hand on her shoulder, and she surprised me by covering it with her own and turning to me. The moonlight washed over her face, and almost without thinking, I traced her cheekbones with my fingertips and said, “I like you better this way.”
“What way?” she asked.
“Just as yourself and not as the goddess.”
“Is it the arms that bother you?” she asked with a small grin.
“No.” I slid my hands down her arms, took her hands, and stepped back, considering them. I lifted one of her hands to my mouth and pressed a soft kiss against her wrist. “In fact,” I said quietly, “I have a few ideas about all those arms.”
She lifted an eyebrow. My eyes danced with hers, and slowly, I touched her jaw and cupped her neck. Stepping closer, I lowered my head, thinking to kiss her, but she sucked in a breath and turned away, her body trembling. At first I was confused but then my empty hands tightened into fists. Maybe she found me uninteresting after the time she’d spent with the sirens.
“Sohan—” she began, her back turned to me.
“Don’t worry about it, Ana,” I said stiffly. “I didn’t mean to distract you from your work.”
She sighed and asked what else she needed to know about this temple visit. I quickly ran through everything I could remember. We touched our hands to the temple wall again but this time it was too brief. The print appeared just as we heard footsteps on the stairs. Waving a hand, Ana phased us out of time so we wouldn’t be seen. As usual, our tracks on the dusty floor had melted away. My old self and Kelsey entered, holding hands. I heard the words, “I’ll follow your lead,” and then they knelt at the feet of the statue, placing various offerings.
Kelsey touched her finger to the anklet Ren had given her and I heard the tinkling of bells. They reminded me of Ana now. “Great goddess Durga,” Kelsey said. “We come seeking your help once again. I ask…”
The words faded away as I looked at Ana’s face. She took in Kelsey’s words like the plea they were. They touched her in a way I couldn’t feel. I realized then that she heard the prayers of others in a similar manner. She felt them. Ana responded in an emotional way entirely different than me. Will you hear my prayer, Goddess? I thought.
Almost as if I willed it, Ana turned to face me. A thousand words floated in the space between us but neither of us said anything. I took one step toward her, then another. Wanting, no, needing to bridge the distance.
When my old self began speaking, she stepped away from me and looked directly at him. Though she no longer looked at me, I felt the thick cords of connection between us tighten. “I…don’t deserve a blessing,” I’d said. “What happened is my fault, but I ask you to help my brother. Keep him safe...for her.
While I watched, Ana touched her ghostly hand to the chest of my old self. My own heart beat rapidly as a feeling of warmth and love stole through me. I remembered feeling it then as well, though, at the time, I’d attributed it to the love I was bearing for Kelsey. The old me transformed into the black tiger, and he chuffed softly and, when she stepped back, whined slightly as if he could feel her leaving him.
“This is the scary part,” I heard Kelsey say as she grabbed on to the black tiger. Ana lifted her hands and a cold maelstrom gusted through the open windows of the temple. The entire area transformed into something beautiful. The storm didn’t affect me at all, and I strode over to her, feeling the need to touch her, to place my hand over her heart as she had mine, but she disappeared, merging her form into that of the statue on the other side of the wall.
The temple glistened like Ana’s skin, and I saw the glow of her handprint where we’d touched the wall a moment before. Kelsey moved her hand to the same spot and I watched the wall rotate. Only then did my vision blur as I was sucked into the stone carving beside Anamika.
I heard Ana’s voice echo in the temple, “Greetings, young one. Your offerings have been accepted.” All the random things placed at her feet vanished.
When we’d fully turned, wind blew away the dust that covered us and I shook myself. I was the orange tiger once again. Glancing down at my paw, I wrinkled my nose and sneezed, then sat at Ana’s feet. The goddess was beautiful. As lovely as a pink blossom. I wanted to bury my face in her lustrous hair and inhale. The hand highest over her head fussed with her golden cap.
My mind returned to the passionate kiss we’d shared that morning. The idea of being with her in such a way no longer startled me as it did at first. Maybe the truth stone had not only shown me my future but had actually placed the woman herself in my arms. If a love such as that was what awaited me, I was a lucky man indeed.
As I pondered the possibilities, I wondered if Ana would stroke my back again or play with my ears and if that might lead to other things later. A man, or tiger, could hope. Then again, she hadn’t exactly responded the same way since then. Whatever was going on with her, with us, was confusing, and no matter what I did, I seemed to handle it all wrong.
Ana spoke to Kelsey about the fruit and then inquired where Ren was and also questioned her about the tiger at her side. I frowned, wondering why she’d ask such a question. Before I could form a thought, the black tiger facing me changed into my human form and approached the goddess. “Dear lady,” my old self said, “I am also a tiger.”
The goddess laughed as he smiled.
Why are you so amused? I asked with irritation.
His, I mean, your thoughts are open to me in a way I’ve never experienced with you. He’s…relaxed. I can see to the very depths of him. He hides nothing. It’s very different from how you are now. I find I enjoy it.
He doesn’t know any better, I groused.
Unlike you, he seems to be very happy to see me.
I’m happy to see you, I countered.
Yes, but he likes me.
What warm-blooded man wouldn’t?
She flinched. It was the wrong thing to say. Why did I always put my foot in my mouth around Ana? I thought about it further as she stroked Fanindra.
Ana said to Kelsey, “I sense you are sad and troubled, daughter. Tell me what causes you pain.”
I glanced at Kelsey. Her eyes were red. She hadn’t been sleeping, I remembered. That she worried over Ren constantly was obvious.
Kells explained about Ren, and I could feel Ana’s swell of sympathy as Kelsey said, “But without him, finding the objects would hold no meaning for me.”
Ana paused a long moment and I wondered what was going through her mind. Finally, she leaned forward and caught one of Kelsey’s tears. She used her power to transform it into a diamond and gave it to my old self. Then she spouted some of Kadam’s rhetoric about saving India, how vital the quest was, etc., etc. She promised to protect Ren and then she froze.
What’s wrong, Ana?
I don’t…I don’t know. Someone else is here.
Who?
I’m not certain, but I can’t move.
Time stopped and Kelsey and my old self became as still as statues. The air swirled near us and then Kadam appeared. “Hello,” he said. “Is everything going well?”
I would have answered but found I couldn’t.
“Ah, yes. Sorry about that. I came to help. Can’t have you in more than one place. You needed a third person for this one.” He had the scarf with him and he used it to transform himself into the Divine Weaver. “There,” he said. “I believe I am ready. If you will fashion me a loom and a stool?” he asked. When Ana did, he took a seat, picked up the shuttle, and said, “Please continue, my dear.”
Time sped up again and Ana said, “Oh…I see. Yes…the path you take now will help you save your tiger.” She stumbled through some more words, answering Kelsey’s questions vaguely until Kells asked about the airy prize mentioned in the prophecy. Ana answered by saying, “There is someone I want you to meet.”
She pointed in Kadam’s direction and he effectively captured their attention. He always seemed to know more than we did, so we listened to him just as attentively as Kelsey and my old self did. He didn’t disappoint.
Kadam played the part well and wove on the loom as if he’d been doing it all his life. I heard the truth in his words when he answered Kelsey’s question. “The world, my young one. I weave the world.” Kadam truly did have his fingers wrapped around the threads of fate. He was the one orchestrating everything. When Kelsey touched the fabric, I realized it was the Divine Scarf she touched. I saw it rippling beneath her fingers as it responded to her touch.
When he warned Kelsey to step back and visualize the whole piece, I knew he was no longer talking to her. He’d locked eyes with me when he said, “If you focus only on the thread given to you, you lose sight of what it can become.”
I had spent a long time bemoaning my fate. Thinking that the thing I wanted had been stolen unrightfully away from me and the universe had left me with nothing. Ana touched my back, her fingers trailing lightly over my fur. Standing next to her felt right and yet I knew we still had a long way to go.
“Durga has the ability to see the piece from beginning to end,” Kadam said. “You must trust her.” His next words sunk into me, carving a place for themselves in my heart. Patience. Devotion. Understanding. If I could give those things to Ana, then perhaps we could fashion something splendid, something wonderful, together. Maybe the fabric we wove would be truly magical. Is such a thing possible? And more importantly, do I deserve such a gift?
When he was finished, Kadam winked at us, and Ana waved her hand as both he and the loom faded from sight. His voice echoed in our minds, And that advice goes for the two of you as well.
Ana looked down at me and I rubbed my head against her thigh. Her smile was soft but there was something troubled in her eyes. The niggling doubt that played at the back of my mind began circling, ripping up my hope and raining it down on me like so much confetti.
Ana rotated the weapons and presented Kelsey with the bow and arrows. My other self stepped forward, eager to receive a weapon, too, and, perhaps, the favor of the goddess. “Patience, my ebony one,” she said. And I sensed she was talking more to me than to the man standing in front of her. “Now I will choose something for you.”
“I will gladly accept anything you offer me, my beautiful goddess,” my old self said with a wink and cocky grin.
She stiffened next to me. I rolled my eyes and sent her the thought, I’m sorry I was such a scoundrel.
You should be. The corner of her mouth twitched. He doesn’t mean anything by it, though. Well, he does. But it’s nothing compared to....
Ana cut off the thought but it was easy enough for me to finish it for her. What my old self did and said was nothing compared to the evil she’d endured at the hands of the slave master. She deserved more than having the stupid beast I was lusting after her. I snarled softly but my besotted oaf of a self didn’t even notice.
After she gave my old self the chakram, he took her hand and kissed it. I bared my teeth. Ana not only allowed his kiss but she paused, considering him. It was almost as if she was trying to read his thoughts. A moment later, she snapped out of it and said a few more things before both of us were once again hardened into stone. Ana froze time and we emerged from the stone. When time moved ahead again, we were invisible. The two of us watched Kelsey and my old self as they prepared to leave.
“Hello,” Kelsey said. “Earth to Kishan.”
He remained standing in place, watching the statue rotate. “She is…exceptional,” my old self said.
“Yeah. So, what is it with you and unattainable women anyway?” Kelsey asked. Her words cut into me, confirming the uncertainties I carried in my heart. Kelsey was right. I hadn’t deserved Yesubai. If anyone had earned a happily ever after with Kells, it was Ren. And as far as Ana went, she was a goddess. She was so far out of my league that any attempt on my part to further our relationship was laughable at best. Insulting at least.
Ana’s hand slipped under my arm as I heard my former self say, “Maybe I can find a support group.” It wasn’t a bad idea. Not for him and not for me. I moved away from Ana. I didn’t want her comfort and I especially didn’t want her sympathy.
When the temple was empty except for the two of us, Ana said, “I think we should speak of it, Sohan.”
“There’s no need,” I said. “I think I understand.” Laughing self-deprecatingly, I added, “Besides, Kells said all there is to say.”
Ana stared at my back. I could feel her eyes tracing over me, but I couldn’t face her. Kelsey didn’t want me. Ana didn’t either. Could I blame either of them? Maybe the Grove of Dreams had been wrong. Maybe it was showing me what could have been if I had been a worthier man. Ren had suffered miserably for every bit of happiness he got. I suppose I was getting what the universe deemed I deserved too. But why would the truth stone give me a glimpse of paradise and then rip it away? Penance? It was too cruel.
Since we didn’t want to talk, or, at least, I didn’t want to talk, we spent the next several hours ticking off checkmarks on the list. Most of them were simple enough we barely needed to pay attention. We revived the henchmen that hunted us in the forest of Oregon so they could actually overpower me and Ren. Ana froze time, restoring those who’d been injured and whispering in their ears the direction we were headed.
If we hadn’t intervened, Ren, Kelsey, and I would have gotten away. Still, we did too good of a job, and there were then too many men who could have stopped me from getting away with Kells. Ana blinded all those who chased me so they never caught up. She winced in sympathy as we watched my old self struggle with staying awake and getting Kelsey into the truck.
Next, we took away Kelsey’s abilities in the green dragon’s castle, otherwise she could have escaped on her own. Then we put a sort of spell on Kelsey’s foster parents so they would allow her to get on the plane in the first place. Without our intervention, Kelsey would never have left Oregon at all.
Ticking off the next item, I introduced Ana to her first ever football game. Instead of cheering at touchdowns, she cheered when players got brutally tackled and consumed her weight in popcorn and hot dogs. We watched over Kelsey from atop the bleachers. Ana scowled at the boy Jason and created ice beneath his feet to make him fall hard on his backside when he fawned over the women on the field.
She asked me why the young man was behaving in such a fashion and how he could possibly think to impress Kelsey by acting like a fool. I couldn’t answer her question since I agreed with her. I caught her mumbling silently and asked her what she was doing, but her only answer was, “Brightening Kelsey’s spirits.”
Kells looked back at us once but didn’t recognize us since we’d used the scarf to modify our appearance. At the end of the night, we made sure Kelsey’s drunk date didn’t get a chance to take her home. Kadam only had a warning for that particular date. I wished we could have spared her other disappointing nights, but they weren’t on our list.
Visiting the Grove of Dreams again, Ana removed the truth stone from the bed and placed it in the crook of the tree where I slept, hanging in a hammock. She raised her eyebrow, looking at me in question as we fast-forwarded time, but I chose to say nothing about my reasons for leaving Kelsey alone in the bed. After Kells and I left the next morning, Ana moved the truth stone back and we shifted in time to the next place.
We wore disguises at Kelsey’s circus birthday party to make sure her foster parents allowed her to leave. We saw Kadam at the party but it was the old version of himself. He didn’t blink an eye when I introduced myself as a fan of the tiger and shook his hand. The only highlight of those hours together was seeing Ana taste Tillamook ice cream for the first time. It almost brought me out of my funk, but even Tillamook and a root beer, which I scrounged from a vending machine, didn’t help.
I watched her enjoying her bowl as I sipped my drink. My palm ran over my bushy beard that was a part of my disguise. The bulky sweatshirt rode up over my expansive belly. I felt heavy and not just because I literally was stocky at the moment.
Her disguise suited her better. She looked like a slightly different version of herself. I could still see the lovely goddess beneath the ebony skin, hear her laugh, clear as crystal, as one of the dogs wove between her legs, its leash getting tangled. When she turned her sienna-brown eyes on me, they flashed with the same fire I always came to expect from her.
Dusting my thick, pasty hands together, I rose from the table, ready to leave the tent. Ana followed with her mouth downturned.
I kicked a cement block and it shifted, showing a blackish gash beneath. Earthworms and bugs scattered. With a morbid fascination, I watched them slink off into the grass and wished I could do the same thing. “What is wrong with you?” she asked.
Grunting, I shook my head. The long dreadlocks that hung down my neck tickled like a hangman’s rope. “Nothing. I just…I need a break for a while.”
“A break?”
“Yeah. Why don’t you go on home? Get a good night’s sleep?”
The light overhead cast shadows across her face. “You mean you wish for a physical separation?”
I shrugged. “It’s not like you won’t know where I am. You can find me whenever you like.”
“But you wish for me to associate with others. To no longer isolate myself with you. Is that correct?”
“Well, yes. I suppose you could check in on the children you brought home if you’re looking for company.”
She plucked at the ivory blouse she wore and bit her lip. “Are you certain, Sohan?” she asked. “Your feelings about this are strong?”
“Yes.” I drew out the word, giving her a puzzled look. “But don’t go off and do anything dangerous while I’m gone. I’ll be back before you know it. Take a nice bath and relax. You deserve a break too.”
“A bath?” Ana looked down at her body and grimaced. “Yes,” she said softly. “I will rest for a while. And you will be careful as well?” Her eyes were bright and unreadable.
Nodding, I said, “I will.”
She handed me the amulet. When I protested that she might need it, she shook her head. “I have the rope,” she said. “Even if I didn’t, the Damon Amulet heeds my call now. I can draw upon its power from a distance.”
Can she? It was interesting that the medallion, named for me, responded to her in such a way. I knew she’d abandoned the bag of weapons and gifts, leaving them at home and only calling upon them when she needed them, but they were hers, the gifts and weapons of Durga. I didn’t know how to feel about her wielding the amulet as if it belonged to her as well. She was the goddess, though, I surmised and decided to leave it at that.
I turned and, over my shoulder, said, “Good night, Ana.”
“Good-bye, Sohan.”
Light cast my figure in a long shadow and then it was gone. Using the power of the amulet, I threw myself into space and time. Soon, my tiger feet touched down on the jungle floor. I ran and ran until I was spent. When I came upon a familiar trail, I followed it until I finally came upon the dark hollow I’d been looking for.