Chapter 7
A Tiger’s Tale
Moving through time and space, I decided the safest way to track down Kadam was to find Phet. I knew the date that Ren and Kelsey entered my forest, seeking me out to help them break the first part of the curse, so I headed to Phet’s…er…Kadam’s hut, hid in the trees, and let time flow backwards until I saw Kelsey and Ren. Power rushed over me in a whoosh as I stopped time and let it progress normally again.
Kelsey and Ren, in his tiger form, exited the hut and headed off through the jungle as Phet waved good-bye and encouraged them on their journey in his singsong voice. Smoke drifted lazily from the small chimney in the roof as he stared after them. When they were gone, the strange half smile melted off his face and he straightened his back until he looked more like Kadam wearing Phet’s face.
Even though he was still donning the disguise of the little shaman, I recognized the tired expression. It was how he’d looked the last few weeks before he died. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I remembered the final days of my mentor. How alone he must have felt as he carried on with his work without having anyone to confide in. He headed back inside, and I moved from my hiding spot, careful to be quiet lest Ren hear me and turn back.
Phet reappeared at the door with a cage and opened it, encouraging the little bird inside to fly back into the trees, but the bird wouldn’t budge. He hadn’t noticed me.
“Looks like he prefers to be caged,” I said quietly from the side of the hut.
Phet, no…Kadam turned wide eyes in my direction. “What are you doing here, son?”
“Looking for you. I need your help.”
He glanced at the trees where Ren and Kelsey had just left. “Come inside then,” he said. “Quickly. I don’t want them to overhear.”
I ducked, following him into the hut, and sat in a familiar chair. “So,” I said, not really knowing how to begin. “Was this building always here or did you create it?”
After setting down the cage with the bird and leaving the door open so it could move about freely, he closed the flimsy curtains and lit a second candle. It wasn’t long before I heard the whisper of fabric. When he sat down, the monk had disappeared, and in his place was the man with more secrets than anyone should have to bear.
“A man did live here at one time. The frame was intact,” he said. “I just added enough so it would appear lived in.” He reached behind him for a kettle and poured me a mug of fragrant tea, then set a plate of rustic cookies between us, crumbling the end of one and sprinkling it on the table. The bird hopped down and pecked at the food. “How can I help?” he asked.
Kadam looked like he needed more help than I did. “You’re tired,” I said, perhaps too bluntly.
“There is much to do before my bones can rest.”
“How much time do you have left?” I asked softly.
He chose not to answer my question. Instead, he lifted his cup to his lips and sipped thoughtfully, glancing at me briefly over the brim. Finally, he set it down and said, “Time is a funny thing, isn’t it, Kishan?”
“Yes,” I admitted, drinking from my own cup. “I sense your remaining hours are few.”
“You would be correct, which is why you should tell me what you’ve come to say.”
I let out a weighted breath. “Very well. We’ve captured Ren. The second item on your list.”
“Is he in good health?”
“He is unharmed.”
“Then what is the issue?”
“We just don’t know where to have the hunters take him. That information was not included on your list. I suggested to the men that a wealthy merchant named Anik Kadam might be interested.”
“And so he would be.”
I nodded stiffly. “Then we’ll go when you are ready.”
“You misunderstand me.” Kadam set down his cup, lifted a spoon, and stirred the remaining liquid slowly. He looked so old in that moment. I wished more than anything that he would confide in me. That he would let me help relieve his burden. “I cannot accompany you,” he said.
“Then…then what would you have us do?”
He looked up and in his eyes I saw the reflection of the eternities. “It is not my place to instruct you,” he said.
Confused, I asked, “But isn’t that what you’ve been doing all along?”
“Yes and no.” Kadam smiled, but it was only an echo of a real one—a breakable pretender that looked wrong on his face.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” I said.
“The list I gave the two of you is yours to follow. If I interfere in any way, it could disrupt the way things are supposed to happen.”
“Haven’t you already interfered by giving us the list in the first place?”
Kadam shook his head. “Giving you the list was something I was supposed to do. Helping you work your way through it is not.” His tone was almost abrasive, a sharp contrast to his normal demeanor. Standing abruptly, he turned his back to me and carefully replaced the tea on the crooked shelf and then busied himself washing our cups and drying them. I stood up to help and we worked quietly together for a time. He didn’t speak as we did so.
When he began riffling through a stack of soft parchment, pointedly ignoring me, I said, “I…I apologize if I am asking too much of you.”
His shoulders sagged and he slowly twisted to look at me contritely. “No, son. I apologize to you. It is difficult for me to navigate the pathways of time as I have been doing. I am yoked to foresight and hindsight. The hours fly too fast and the sting of knowing more than I should numbs my mind and my heart. Forgive me.”
“Of course.” I put a hand on his shoulder. His once strong body felt frail beneath my hand. “I will do as you see fit,” I said. “We’ll try to work this out on our own as best we can. If you would prefer that I not visit you again, though it would sadden me to do so, I will avoid it.”
He sighed deeply and the edges of his eyes crinkled. “Though I will not encourage you to do so, if you should choose to cross paths with me again, I would not count it ill.”
I smiled at him, attempting to show him I was confident, though I was about as far removed from confidence as I had ever been. “Then I shall see you again.”
Nodding, he swiped a thumb across one of his eyes. Kadam had never been one to overtly show emotion. Not even when my parents died.
He considered me for a moment and said, “I would emphasize three things. One, do not cross paths with yourself.”
“Yes, you told me the universe would implode.”
He winced. “That’s not exactly true.”
“Oh? What happens then?”
“You would be sucked into your past self. Separating you from your past is nearly impossible when that happens. Don’t risk it.”
“How do you know this?” I asked softly.
“Let’s just say I made the mistake of attending my own funeral. Even then, after my soul had fled my mortal form, I was drawn back into myself. It’s not something I’d wish upon anyone.”
“I see,” I said. “What are the other two things you wanted to tell me?”
“Yes. Second, do not let Anamika go off on her own. She needs you. There are times when she allows her strong head and her soft heart to guide her choices, and there are those who would take advantage of that. Watch over her. And lastly…” He turned and rolled up a scroll, tied it with a string, and handed it to me. “When you are panicked and you cannot find the one you seek, open this. You will know when the time is right.”
I took the scroll and nodded. Ren and Kelsey were the ones who enjoyed toiling over prophecies for hours, not me. I’d rather be hunting than reading. The vague instructions and the idea that I still had another quest to complete, this time without Kadam, Ren, and Kelsey, were disheartening. Still, I didn’t want him to know just how despondent I felt. Squeezing his shoulder, I said good-bye and made to leave, but then he stopped me.
“Just this one time, I’ll help. Seek out a man named Vanit Savir. He is an honest trader whom I worked with for many years. Do not mention my name as at that time period I had not yet met him, but he will help you place Ren in a good home. Also, do not forget to take away Ren’s ability to shift.”
I stammered, “I…I can do that?”
“Yes. You did. You will. Do not doubt it.”
Rubbing a hand across the back of my neck, I nodded. I’m sure the confusion I felt was evident on my face. Pushing aside the door, I stood at the threshold wondering what other surprises awaited me and Ana.
“Oh, and before you go…”
“Yes?” I turned back as I stood in the open doorway.
“Will you take him with you? I think he misses his mistress.”
“The bird?” I asked. “Who is his mistress?” He didn’t answer right away but shuffled over to the birdcage, shooed the bird inside, and secured the door. My comprehension dawned slowly. “Ah, Kelsey mentioned it once. He’s Durga’s.”
“Yes. She hatched him from an egg and hand-fed him.”
“When?”
“Does it matter?”
I shrugged, uncomfortable with the idea that Ana hadn’t even found this bird’s egg yet, and lifted the cage.
“He’s old now,” Kadam continued as he followed me to the door. “I thought I’d spare her his death, but it seems he wants to look upon her face when he leaves this world.”
Peering at the bird who twitched his head back and forth between us, I said, “I guess I can’t blame him for that.”
“Yes.” Kadam stared into my face with his too knowing eyes, then lowered his gaze, mumbling, “It’s appropriate to be near those you love when you depart from this world.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say, and he grasped my hand tightly. Kadam shook it slightly and I could feel the trembling in his fingers. He gave me a nod and said, “Best be heading back now.”
Then, with a little wave, I used the power of the Damon Amulet to take me back to Anamika in the past.
When I arrived at the place and time I’d left her, careful to give myself a few hours so as not to collapse the universe or risk crossing over into my own past by bumping into my former self, it was night. The sky above the trees was dark and speckled with stars. The heavy boughs of the trees shifted in the brisk wind. Their creaking signified a storm was coming.
I took the bird from his cage and gave him one last chance to leave, but he flew to the pocket of my shirt instead and tucked himself inside. Gently, I patted his warm little body and tossed his cage into the trees. “All right, then,” I said. “Let’s go find your mistress.”
It only took me a few seconds to locate Anamika’s scent. Her trail was barely noticeable. But since she was obviously following the hunters, I took the easier route and trailed the path they’d trod through the jungle. Two hours later, I was crouching at the edge of the tree line, deciding if I should head into the city and find her or if I should wait until the morning.
The storm decided me. It broke overhead, and the crisp breeze that had cooled the jungle chased me from it with a wet deluge that soaked me in moments. I headed into the city and followed Anamika’s scent until it ended in an alleyway between buildings. It was a particularly rotten-smelling alley too.
“Ana?” I hissed. When there was no answer, a prickle of worry bit at my nerves. “Ana!” I tried again.
“I am here,” an irritated voice answered.
I reached out into the darkness, groping wildly until my fingers caught hold of her silky hair, and I moved closer. A hand wrapped around my wrist, and a scowling goddess emerged from the shadows. The Rope of Fire was a golden belt bound around her waist, and the Divine Scarf was tied around her neck. I cursed the fact that we’d brought none of her weapons.
“Are you hurt?” I asked, running my hands over her shoulders and arms.
“Unhand me,” she groused and shoved my arms away. “I am not injured.”
“I should have left you the kamandal, just in case,” I said.
She scoffed. “Those hunters are no match for me, even with just my mortal abilities. I was never in any danger, Kishan. Unless you count the rats scrounging in the garbage dangerous.”
“You can never be too careful,” I said.
Tilting her head, her green eyes sparkling in the dark, she considered me. “What is wrong with you?” she asked shrewdly. “You are unnerved. Has something happened to our teacher?”
“No. Yes. Well, it will. And soon. He’s just…” I ran a hand through my hair. “He’s so tired. He’s close to the end, I think.”
She nodded soberly. “Has he agreed to help us then?”
“He did. But we’re on our own after this. He said he can’t assist us with the list going forward, but he was able to give me some suggestions for this particular situation.”
I told her all that had passed between Kadam and me. She listened carefully, pinching a lush lip between her teeth as her mind worked.
When I was done, she lifted her chin, pointing out the building across the street. “The hunters have congregated inside. I believe they are imbibing spirits. Ren is sequestered a few buildings down with the other animals. He is safe for the time being. The young man you impersonated has been sent out to find Anik Kadam, the buyer of the tiger, but he has since run off, for he knows no such man. His disappearance gives us an opportunity.”
“Agreed. It’s unlikely they’ll expect him back until tomorrow. Do you wish to return home and take your rest until then?” I asked.
Anamika shook her head. “I would rather remain close to Dhiren until we are assured of his safety.”
I blinked. “Yes, of course. Then it would seem we need to acquire accommodations of our own tonight. Wait here. I’ll be back soon.”
Heading in the direction of the raucous noise coming from the building, I opened the door and stepped inside. It only took a moment to locate the innkeeper and inquire as to the possibility of a room. When I mentioned that I’d need two, one for me and one for my sister, the hunters perked up their ears. The few bawdy remarks I heard made me curse myself. Men were men no matter the century, and men such as them were always looking for trouble.
When the landlord asked for payment, I froze. I assured him that if he could guarantee our rooms, then he would be well paid. His eyes narrowed and he took in my clothing and the fact that I wore no shoes. He then informed me that only one room remained, and it would only be mine if I produced a sum that I knew was well above what he’d asked from the others.
Nodding, I headed outside to retrieve Ana. She used the power of the amulet to draw up coins and gems from the earth. I had forgotten we had that ability, though I’d seen Lokesh use it to draw a long-buried sword out of the ground. The very sword, in fact, that he’d used to slay Kadam.
She handed me the dirt-coated treasures and produced a rain shower over my hand. When they were sufficiently clean, I grunted and said they would do, then I tried to convince Anamika to disguise herself as an ugly spinster, but she refused, claiming she was unafraid of the belching, foul fellows and that there was nothing they could do to harm her.
I tended to agree, but when I escorted her into the inn, the entire room fell silent. I handed over the fortune in gems, forgotten coins, and nuggets of precious metals to the innkeeper, who stammered in amazement. He immediately produced a key to a room that I suspected had just been taken away from one of the hunters and profusely apologized for only having one room to spare.
With relief, I accepted the offered key, gritting my teeth at seeing the leers on the faces of the men. I took Anamika’s elbow. She stopped and looked at my hand and then my face with raised eyebrows. I returned her meaningful look with one of my own and said, “Come, sister, let’s get you settled,” angling my head pointedly toward the stairs. Her back was ramrod stiff, but she pasted on a Samurai sword smile and followed me.
When she began ascending the stairs, I turned and said to the open-mouthed innkeeper, “Would you mind sending up some dinner as well? My sister is very hungry.”
He nodded and asked if we would also like fresh attire. When I told him it was unnecessary, that caused a round of strangled coughs and laughter. I was handling this all wrong. I’d spent too much time in Kelsey’s century. Women were treated differently in the future. When we traveled in her time, we’d been largely ignored. Kadam had always handled the delicate day-to-day interactions with people. Ren probably could have done a much better job at distracting them and their curious glances. I’d been a tiger for too long. My instinctive reaction was to rip and tear.
Turning around, I followed Anamika up the stairs and tried to ignore the voices of the men below, who were marveling at her beauty and wondering why I’d allow such a lovely young woman to wear such revealing clothing. One guessed I wasn’t her brother at all, and others suggested the idea that I might be a flesh peddler and that she was a new acquisition I’d brought to town. They posed the idea that I might be open to negotiation.
The very notion of such a thing enraged me. Power gathered in my frame and I could feel the tiger inside. He ripped at my skin, wanting to peel it back until fangs emerged. My blood boiled and the bones in my neck cracked and popped. The tiger wanted to maim and destroy, and it was all I could do to hold him back, though the burning inside me begged for release. I gripped the railing of the stairs so hard the wood splintered beneath my hand.
Then I felt a touch on my arm. Anamika had turned back and she looked at me with concern. “Come, Damon,” she said softly. “I am weary.” Her touch soothed me and the tiger quieted. I didn’t protest her use of my tiger name, for in that moment I had been more beast than man.
The hunters below still spoke quietly about Ana. They didn’t know I could hear every word they uttered. Each one was like a lash against my skin, cutting through my mind like a spear through water. We locked eyes and I felt the trembling of her hand. Taking hold of her fingers, I squeezed them gently and nodded, then followed her up the stairs.
We located our room, and she headed to the small window, pushing back the curtains to stare up at the stars. Her arms were folded tightly across her body as she leaned against the windowsill. My stomach felt like a stone. Why had I brought her here? Why had I acted like such an animal, such a fool?
“I’m sorry I frightened you,” I said lamely.
She turned to me, her lips puckering. She sighed. “It was not you who frightened me, Kishan. Think no more of it.”
I furrowed my brow. “If it wasn’t me, then…was it the men down there? You shook when you touched me.”
A small shudder went through her frame again. To see a warrior such as she was tremble at a man’s words unnerved me.
“I do not wish to speak of it,” she said quietly, turning her back to me once more.
There was a knock on the door and the innkeeper bowed and entered, bringing a pair of candles with him along with a covered plate. He set down the plate and the odor of cooked food filled the small room. Then, he used the burning torches in the hall to light the candles. When that was done, he brought in a bucket of water, a basin, and a few cloths and set them down. “Rest well,” he said. “Let me know if you have need of anything.”
I could hear the unmistakable clink of coins in his pocket as he walked down the stairs. “Are you hungry?” I asked.
Anamika shook her head and stared into the dark sky outside. Her reflection showed me something altogether different than the goddess I knew so well. She looked…vulnerable. I frowned and then let it go. Much as she did for me, I left her to her own thoughts. We settled almost too easily into our usual pattern.
The two of us were connected at a nearly intrusive, intimate level, but we still managed to maintain a stubborn distance from one another. It was almost like we were two people with a shared adversary who had entered into an agreement to support one another purely for self-preservation and to further our own agendas.
Heavy rain splattered the window, sliding down in wet rivulets that leaked into the room. Anamika made an irritated sound and backed away, using the scarf to create towels to sop up the mess and stuff inside the cracks of the frame. The room felt stuffy, tight once the air was cut off. Damp stole into the room, accentuating the half-rotten, sour smells associated with the tavern. It was an effective appetite suppressant.
Pushing away most of the meal, I rose and told her I’d be downstairs if she wanted to take the opportunity to wash away the odors of the decaying trash outside and the dirt from her face. I’d meant it as a joke, but it was a poorly fashioned one. The hurt in her eyes hit me like a punch in the belly. Her normal reaction would have been to shove me out the door and slam it in my face, but something about this place bothered her.
The ice princess with squared shoulders and a defiant gleam in her eyes was gone. In her place was a woman with emotions stretched so tightly across her face I wondered if they would burst out of her if I touched her cheek. I’d only seen Anamika cry once and that was when her brother left. It was the tremble in her berry-red lower lip that undid me.
I closed the door behind me with a thud. Thick, dark shadows trailed me as I headed down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I couldn’t tolerate the presence of the other men, though they’d gone quiet, most of them staring with unfocused eyes into their drinks. I headed outside. The night was heavy and warm, the rain irritating as it slicked through my hair and trickled down the neck of my shirt. I paced back and forth, my muscles taut and screaming for a fight.
The earthy scent of the ground was familiar and should have soothed me, but I’d grown spoiled living on the sweet grasses of the home of the goddess. The smell of roses and jasmine there tickled my nose as I slept, and my dreams were almost always pleasant. Even when I dreamed of Kelsey, they were happy, contented dreams, not the nightmares I’d had before.
Kadam wanted me to accept the role of Durga’s tiger, to consider the curse a gift. But to me it had been a punishment, one well deserved for allowing Lokesh to kill Yesubai. When Kelsey left, the tiger felt like a shackle.
Hiding my scent and becoming invisible, I headed to the building where they were keeping Ren. I opened the door and he lifted his head. All he could smell was the wet from the rain and the hundreds of bodies and animals nearby, yet he tilted his head back and forth, and I knew the moment when he noticed my wet footprints.
For a time, I stood there, quietly watching him, and then I made a decision and allowed my body to become visible. He jerked in the cage that was much too small for him to move around comfortably. Ren growled softly, his ears laid back against his head.
My gold eyes locked onto his blue ones. There was so much I wanted to say to him. So much he needed to hear, but I didn’t know where to begin, and this Ren wouldn’t understand. Suddenly, I had great empathy for what Kadam was going through. Inhaling deeply, I pursed my lips and let out a slow breath and then stepped forward, unlocking his cage.
Almost carefully, he stepped out onto the muddy ground, and a moment later, my brother was standing in front of me. He was barefoot, in his typical white clothing. His eyes piercing me like needles. Ren spoke first as I stood there mutely wondering where to begin.
“Who are you?” he said.
My brow lowered. “Your brother,” I replied.
He walked around me in a wide circle, sniffing the air like a suspicious dog. “You don’t smell like my brother,” he said. “And I trust my nose more than my eyes.”
I laughed then but it was a bit maniacal—a straightjacket laugh, Kelsey would have called it. “Despite everything, I’ve missed you, Ren.”
His mouth fell open but he quickly masked his reaction. “So…brother…you’ve come to rescue me then?”
“Not…not exactly,” I said as I scraped a hand over my bristly jaw. “I was just hoping to talk.”
“To talk?”
“Yes. This is going to take a while so you might want to switch back. I know you don’t have a lot of time.”
Ren frowned. “Neither do you.”
“Yes. Well, about that…” I found a cleanish spot on the ground and sat, resting my back against the wall. The rain was heavy enough to mask my voice should anyone pass by, and both of us could see well enough in the light to make out one another. Almost reluctantly, Ren changed back into tiger form and lay down. Not too close. And he took up the space between me and the door just in case he wanted to leave. That didn’t bother me at all.
Taking a deep breath, I began.
For hours I poured out my story to him. I told him everything—Kelsey, the curse, Durga, Lokesh, Kadam, our parents, his becoming mortal, even his upcoming wedding. His tiger eyes were riveted on me the whole time. If it weren’t for the twitching of his tail, I might have thought he was a statue. By the time I was done, the storm was over. The sun would rise within the hour.
I brought up a knee and rested an elbow on it, sinking my head into my hand. “To burden you with all of this is selfish, I know. It’s just…I don’t know what to do.”
Ren transformed without me even being aware of it. He sat across from me and rubbed his hands slowly, his eyes trained on them as he formed his thoughts into words. Finally, he said, “You’ve always been the stronger one.”
My hand fell away from my face. I gaped at him incredulously. “What are you talking about? Have you even been listening?”
“Of course I have. The story you tell…it’s…well, fantastic. It gives me hope. You give me hope.”
“That wasn’t my intention.”
“No. It’s just…”
“What?” I asked.
His blue eyes darted up. “Do you know why the future me sought you out in the jungle?”
“Yeah. You wanted me to help you break the curse.”
“Yes. Of course. But there must have been a part of me that was scared to do it without you.”
“That doesn’t sound right.”
“It is. You’ve always been the brave one, Kishan.”
I shook my head. “You’re the leader, Ren. Not me.”
“You’re wrong. Yes…yes…I was the diplomat. The one who spun pretty words to charm pompous, overstuffed rich men, but you were the warrior. For you Yesubai was a long time ago, but for me it was recent. I understood why she loved you. She looked to you as I did. You were always comfortable in your own skin. Mother’s favorite. Kadam’s favorite.”
“None of that matters anymore. Besides, you are brave. You fought alongside me, defeated Lokesh, saved the day countless times. I’d never seen you so focused in battle.”
He lowered his head. “I must have loved her then. Will love her, I mean.”
I grunted. “You did. You do.”
“But so do you.”
“Yes.”
After a tense moment, he asked, “Will you do it?”
I knew what he was asking. “Cause the curse?”
He nodded.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then…” Ren got up and dusted his hands on his white pants, smearing them with dirt. “I suppose you better find out.” He turned and walked to the door, staring out into the freshly washed clean sky. Ren inhaled deeply and said, “If it helps, I know whatever decision you make will be the right one.”
“How can you be so certain?”
He looked at me over his shoulder and offered me a brilliant white smile. “Because you are Sohan Kishan Rajaram.” Ren headed back to his cage and ran a hand down a bar. “There is no reason that you have to make the final decision tonight. It sounds like there are many more uncomfortable things in my future than just sitting in a cage.”
I stood up, took hold of his shoulder, and turned him around. “Are you saying you want me to sell you tomorrow? Arrange for your captivity from which you will find no respite for three hundred and fifty years? Wipe your memory so that no trace of our conversation lingers in your mind to give you comfort?”
Ren shook his head and grabbed hold of my arm in a familiar grip. “I am saying that I am yours in life, brother, and yours in death. I trust you to figure out the niggling details.”
The confidence he had in me was unflappable. The back of my eyes stung with unshed tears. That he was willing to give himself over like this, even knowing that his future entailed torture and beatings and more sacrifices than a man should be asked to make, made me respect him all the more.
I tugged on his shoulder and pulled him close, wrapping my arms around him. My body shook as I sobbed. When I left, Ren was in his tiger form, locked in a cage. I’d taken his memory of our conversation and his ability to shift into human form, leaving him only with the dream of a brown-haired girl who would love him someday.
With heavy steps, I climbed the stairs to our shared room and found Anamika asleep on the bed, but her body was soaked with sweat as she thrashed back and forth. Tears leaked down her cheeks and she kicked violently at the thin sheet.
“No,” she cried softly. “No, please!”
I took hold of her shoulders to shake her awake and she screamed.