P oppy's phone buzzed in my hand almost immediately. I felt the bottom of my stomach drop out, though that really wasn't that abnormal these days .

On the second ring, Poppy raised her eyebrows at me. "Is that him?" she mouthed .

I looked again at the screen, feeling like my hand was frozen in place. "That's him ."

The phone rang a third time. "Are you going to pick up, then?" Poppy demanded .

I swallowed and nodded. She leaned over on the bed and rubbed circles on my back, her worried energy making it feel like she was trying to start a fire between my shoulder blades .

I nodded silently. Then, licking my lips, I lifted the phone to my ear and pressed the answer button .

One the other end, I heard nothing for a moment, then a familiar sigh. "Hudson," I said, breathing out his name .

"Tallula," he replied, rolling my name in his mouth like always. I felt goosebumps prick my arm - like my skin was straining to get closer to him - just to hear his voice. He paused a moment. There was a rush of street noise and then his sigh. "Sorry, I'm on a walk. Bus just went by ."

I exhaled in relief that he was nowhere near my brother. "You're alone?" I asked, a little more sharply than I meant to .

"I am," he said. Then his voice lowered in confusion. "Hey, what number is this ?"

I glanced at Poppy. "My friend's ."

I could hear his smile. "Being all anonymous, huh? Smart girl. When I called you just now, I realized too late it was probably a stupid move ."

It felt like he was talking nonsense all of a sudden. I cleared my throat. "Um. Yeah," I said, distantly. The worry was crowding out all of the other, nicer things I could say .

And he heard it too. "Tallula?" he ventured, sounding concerned .

I blinked, hard. There was no way to say it, without just saying it. "Hudson," I said. "I'm pregnant ."

Poppy reached out and grabbed my hand as we waited for him to reply. The only noise was the screech of another passing bus. I listened, straining my ears to hear him, but he was silent. Utterly silent. "Breathe," Poppy murmured. "You're turning red ."

I let out a rush of breath. "Hudson ?"

He finally cleared his throat. "You sure?" he asked .

A stab of anger knifed between my eyes. "Yes," I hissed. "Of course I'm fucking sure ."

"And it's ..."

"If you fucking dare to insinuate that I would have had time to go out and fuck any more daddy-candidates then ..."

"I'm not!" he protested, cutting me off. I heard him take a panicked breath. "Tallula. I, wow. But I used a...shit it was old ."

"I know ."

"I told you the condom was old and you said ..."

"It was okay," I finished. "Right, and I'm not blaming you for anything here Hudson. I was a willing and active participant, you'll remember ."

He let out another breath. "Are you going to ...?"

"Keep it?" My voice rose an octave. "Is that what you're asking ?"

"Well..."

"I have no fucking clue, alright? I just thought you had a fucking right to know ."

I heard him take a steadying breath. "Thank you, yes." He cleared his throat again. "I'm sorry. This was...it's just I've been thinking about you all damn day and hoping to hear your voice, but like ..."

"Not like this," I half-laughed, half sobbed .

"Tallula, no. I'm sorry, this..." He sounded pissed, but at himself. "I didn't react well just now, okay? I'm sorry. Can I try again ?"

I wiped my nose with my finger. "No," I grumbled .

He let out a breath. "Okay then. What do you need from me ?"

"What can I get from you?" I shouted .

"What?" He sounded bewildered and it was breaking my heart and pissing me off at the same time .

"You're on tour!" I exploded. "And I'm here. It's not like ..."

He was trying to follow me, but I had no idea where I was going. "So you need money to ..."

"Fuck you, Hudson," I hissed. Poppy squeezed my hand as the tears started falling .

"What?" he bristled. "Hey, I'm trying really hard here, okay? I want to figure this out, and do what's right and all. But you know, I was a nobody last year and your brother, he took a chance on me and now ..."

"Don't you think I fucking know you can't have a baby?" I lashed out. "Hell, I can't have a baby !"

His voice hardened. "So you're not keeping it ?"

"Um, well this wasn't exactly part of my plan either ."

"I didn't say that ."

"You don't need to say it, I know. Okay? I'm a smart girl. You're not the daddy type. And you're not the guy for me any way. You're on tour all the time, you're fucking American ..."

He swore .

"What?" I demanded .

He growled dangerously, a sound I never thought he could make. "I said cut that shit out ."

I could picture the way the muscle at his jaw was jumping. "Don't talk to me like that," I told him, fear creeping into my voice .

He let out a mirthless laugh. "Really? I thought we had something, Tallula ."

"You did?" I shouted. "Yeah? Well, now we have nothing except a fucking baby!" I stabbed the button, hanging up on him and fell against Poppy, sobbing. "God damn it all to hell," I swore, viciously clutching at her phone. I felt like if I could squeeze it to pieces, it might make that call go better .

"You're all right," Poppy murmured .

"I'm not," I sniffed. "I just fucked things right up ."

"You sounded scared," Poppy said reassuringly. "Understandably so ."

"I was a cunt," I said, breathing out and loosening my grip on her phone. I let it fall through my fingers and down onto the bed. "I forgot it wasn't him I'm pissed at ."

"He'll understand ."

I shrugged. "What's the point in making him understand though, you know? I never thought I'd see him again to begin with." I looked down at the phone on the bed and shook my head. "And now I've gone and made sure of it ."