T he people on the sidewalk flowed like water around me. With my phone still clutched in my hand, I was as still as a rock midstream. Every part of my body felt like it had been frozen in place .

Tallula's voice still rang in my ears. "We have nothing," she'd told me. "Except a fucking baby ."

With a superhuman effort I moved my foot. Then I moved the other one. Mindlessly, I started walking, utterly numb except for the anger that sizzled across my skin .

We have nothing .

Did she really believe that or was she just angry at me? She had every right to be angry .

But she had no right to say we have nothing .

You're on tour all the time. You're American ....

I walked for so long, and traveled so far out of the way, that they had to send a car for me so I could get back in time for the show. There wasn't even enough time for me to do soundcheck. I just jumped onto the stage without looking any of my bandmates in the eye .

The reviews of that night's show were the best we'd ever had. For weeks afterward, the press was chattering about the new depth I'd brought to the same old songs. The ragged, almost panicked quality my voice had taken on. Bootlegs of the Madrid show became collectors' items .

I don't remember a single moment of it .

Except one .

A young woman, dark hair, dark eyes, nothing like Tallula except in the lush way her body curved. She was in the front row, with a man, his arm slung around her protectively, watching that other's didn't get too close. There were too many people for me to see her clearly ,...

Except for one moment. As she sang along, the crowd thinned just right so I could see the way she cradled her belly protectively. And I could see how the man with her was resting his hand right on top of it .

Possessive.

Proud.

That was all I could see then and it was all I could see when I closed my eyes for the next week. Him, her, and their baby they both loved so much. I wondered if it could hear the music around it .

That night, the legendary night in Madrid, I was singing for that baby .

We played three more nights in Madrid, then travelled back up to France for a festival in Provence. Once again, the press went wild over my new style, how I sang like my heart had been broken .

It may well have .

After Provence, it was off to a two-night stint in Rome. Friar Hudson was in full effect those nights, as I spent all of them staring sleeplessly at my phone, waiting for it to ring. Waiting for my anger to subside so I could call her myself. We have nothing still rang in my ears like a church bell tolling a funeral .

But my excuse for hiding away from the band was about to end. When the Rome shows wrapped, we were off for a whole week .

The last thing I wanted to do was spend time with Niall, knowing what I knew. But the villa in Naples had been booked months in advance. August was flying in to be with Jules and as of this morning, Celia had arrived and was hanging out backstage, seemingly enjoying just being a fan for once .

Being all together again for the first time since the wedding. It was something that sounded like a really fucking good idea back when we'd scheduled it .

Back before I found out I'd fathered Niall's niece or nephew .

But that couple in Madrid, they didn't leave my brain .

Could I be a dad? I'd never had one, not one that counted. But I'd had love, and I had the best childhood my mother could give me. I'd learned lessons about how to be a man from the men around me as well. I had people, good people, who could surround my child and step in to pick up any slack I dropped .

I couldn't throw a perfect spiral. I couldn't even do my own taxes. But I knew how to fix a car and I knew how to hug really tight. And more importantly, the kid would have the best musicians in the world to help him learn an instrument. Or hell, help her learn .

That morning in Rome, my anger finally ebbed away as I realized something .

I could be a good dad .

And if Tallula wanted me to, I could be really good to her too .

And fuck anyone who said being a rockstar daddy wouldn't work. I could make it work. I could bring the baby backstage and let it sleep in the green room just so I'd be close enough to hear any cries. I was already nearly nocturnal. I could easily let Tallula sleep the night while I stayed up with our child .

I knew it now. I could be a really fucking good dad .

It had been two solid weeks since she hung up on me. Two solid weeks since she told me we had nothing .

But she was wrong. I had everything I needed .

Except her and our baby .