T here's a certain set of expectations that come with being the man. You hold back. You wait until she's had her fill. You go slowly, gently, let her get herself to where she needs to be in order for it to be good .

With Tallula, I was trying to do it, I really was. But when she looked at me with her softly parted lips and wide eyes, kissed me and whispered, "Show me ..."

I fucking lost it .

If I was too rough, I couldn't help it. If I was too loud, there was no chance of being quiet. If I drove into her so fast it made her yelp and cling to me, I knew it was okay because she wanted me to show her what she did to me and this was it. Right here. I was a mad man. I was possessed. I was possessed with the need to possess her, to have her, all of her, that we'd been denying this whole time .

She let out another one of her cries, the ones that drove me wild because they were so reckless and unimpeded. No one had ever told Tallula to keep it down, so she let it all out and that's what I loved about her. She was everything that I used to be before I put my walls up .

My walls were crumbling, and crumbling fast. My walls were falling all around me in my own personal earthquake .

She squeezed my ass cheek, pulling at me to drive into her harder. She didn't want gentle. She wanted to feel everything I could make her feel .

She wasn't afraid of her feelings. And she gave me the courage to feel mine .

And I loved her for that too .

"I love you," I rasped into her neck. Purely in the moment. No thought. No worry about what she'd say back .

It's what I was feeling right then and I wanted to say it .

So I did .

At that same moment, I felt her stiffen. The walls of her tight, perfect pussy fluttered against my cock and then suddenly squeezed. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven in that moment as Tallula squeezed my cock tight. Blood roared in my ears and my sight grew dim at the edges and then suddenly I was coming right along with her, the both of us crying out and falling and clinging and kissing and yelling and then shuddering to stillness with only the sound of her gasping breath in my ears .

"We're getting better at that," Tallula murmured, her lip brushing my ear .

I laughed and held her tighter. "Secret is to keep practicing ."

"I can live with that ."

"I am so glad to hear that ."

"Speaking of hearing." She pulled back and looked at me. "I heard you ."

"You don't have to say it back," I said quickly. "It's a lot, I know ."

"You know I can't ignore my feelings," she whispered, and suddenly her eyes were filled with tears. "I never do, but when it came to you, it fucking scared me so much that I did. And it hurt so bad trying to keep that secret, like I had to shove down a part of me. Like I was a jigsaw puzzle and I was missing a piece. I don't ever want to do that again." She kissed me, hard and sweet and fierce. "I love you too, Hudson ."

I kissed her back and sighed against her lips, smiling, feeling like my heart might burst. "I love you Tallula. You make me better than I thought I could be ."

She blinked again, watching me. "I love you. You make me feel complete." I gently extricated myself from her and rolled to the side, brushing my fingers up her stomach for a moment, then bending to kiss her sweet navel. "What do we do now?" she whispered as she stared at the ceiling .

"I can think of a few things," I said, sliding my hand between her legs .

She swatted at me. "I love you. You love me. We love each other but that still doesn't really change things, does it ?"

I blinked. "I feel like it does ."

"You still have to tour. I still have to go back for classes ."

"I'm willing to do long distance if you are ."

"I am," she said fiercely. "But it also doesn't change the fact that Niall's going to hate this. And what does that do to you ?"

I leaned over and kissed her. "How about you let me worry about that?" I told her. "Because once I tell him I love you, what can he do ?"

She grimaced. "You're really ready to give it all up ?"

I held her face so I was certain she heard me when I said, "I love you. I'm not giving up anything ."