T his time, I wasn't laying her out in the grass .

My room at the villa was on the far end, chosen to get away from the couples. She looked up at me with a grin as I opened it with my key .

Then led her inside .

"Have you really not been able to sing?" Tallula asked, looking at me with eyes so wide and innocently hopeful that I wanted to promise her anything to keep her looking at me this way .

"I sing," I told her, truthfully. "And people don't know the difference. But I do. When your heart is broken, you sing...differently ."

She bit her lip, looking stunned. "I broke your heart ?"

"I broke my own," I corrected, reaching out to touch her face. "By leaving you. But I'm not going to do that again "

I sat on the bed and she settled into my lap. I could feel her warmth, every part of her that touched me seemed to set me on fire. I held her, carefully, gently, and we both sort of eased into a warm, gentle silence .

It occurred to me that this was the very first time I'd been able to just hold Tallula close, and the newness, and wonder of it had my heart racing even as we were both so still. Like she was still testing, like she was still wary. I knew. We had only had stolen moments up until now .

I didn't want that any more .

"Tallula," I ventured, pressing my lips into her neck. She let her head fall to the side, exposing her neck to me. "Sweetheart ?"

"Hmm?" she sort of hummed .

"We said last time was the last time. Do you still mean that ?"

"Keep kissing my neck like that and you might change my mind ."

I laughed but that wasn't what I was asking. I needed her to understand. "I don't care anymore," I told her, letting my lips trail up to her ear. "If your brother walked in right now, I wouldn't try to hide ."

She turned and looked at me. "He'd kill you ."

"He could try," I shrugged. "I doubt he'd succeed ."

"Yeah, well maybe he wouldn't kill you in so many words. But he'd hate you." She shook her head. "Niall hates secrets ."

I nodded. "I know ."

"And we're sneaking around on him ."

"And I'm saying we don't have to ."

She groaned and leaned back on my arm as my fingers worked their way down the front of her shirt. "You're making it hard to think ."

I grinned. "That's sort of my plan ."

"And if he kicks you out of the band ?"

"Then I'm out of the band. Solo career here I come. I'll buy a shack in the South of England and write the songs that I think of when I kiss you ."

At that she let her lips part, kissing me so softly and sweetly that it felt like she was agreeing to the plan. I moved my hand again, brushing the tightly bunched bead of her nipple. With a couple of tugs, I had her breast free and heavy in my hand, and sucked greedily at that pale pink bud .

Her head fell back again, silky hair brushing my arm, sending out electric shocks that seemed to flow straight to my dick. With a groan, I moved over her, settling her back onto the couch to nip and curl my tongue around that tantalizing bud. She fell back on the bed, eyes half-lidded, watching me, and I wished like hell I knew how to paint because the picture she was making right now was more beautiful that anything hung in a museum .

Greedy for more, I began to move my lips down .

Then stopped .

"What's wrong?" she asked, lifting her head. I loved the way she opened for me, that trust I wasn't sure I deserved but wanted to honor above all things .

"Nothing's wrong." I slid my hands under her. "I just really excited to fuck you in a proper bed ."

She laughed and whooped as I scooped her up in my arms. "I'm too heavy ."

"I'll be the judge of that." I jumped in place, weighing her in my arms. "No, you're just right ."

She let her head fall against my shoulder again in that trusting, open way she had. I didn't have to guess at what Tallula was feeling, ever. It was written on her face, written in her voice. She wasn't a riddle I needed to try and understand. I already knew her. Even when I'd barely been alone with her .

Now we were alone .

She leaned back on the bed as I settled her higher, watching me carefully as I peeled off my T-shirt and when her eyes widened and her tongue flicked out to wet her lips, I laughed. "You'd be a terrible poker player," I told her .

"You're probably great at it ."

"How'd you know ?"

"Because you're like the Sphinx. I have no idea what you are ."

I blinked and stepped back for a moment. "You really think that ?"

She nodded. "I do. Nothing upsets you. It's like you're made of some kind of impermeable material. Nothing gets in ."

"You've gotten in," I reminded her .

"Have I ?"

"You don't believe me? I can show you what I mean ."

"You were even calm about the baby ."

"That didn't exactly feel like calm to me. I was freaking the fuck out ."

"I didn't know that though ."

"I didn't think you'd want that. I figured you'd want me strong ."

She ran her fingers up my arm. "I like you strong. But I also like you open for me ."

I nodded and leaned in to kiss her. "I can try ."

"Get mad about something," she begged. "Get upset. Get excited. Show me how you feel ."

"I'll show you everything," I whispered, letting my lips glide down her stomach. She sighed and arched her hips to me .