LAUREN

 

 

Tyler was a mess. His knuckles were white as they gripped onto the steering wheel. The muscles of his jaw were clenched and tight, though every now and again he would unclench them long enough to chew on his bottom lip so hard I was afraid it would start to bleed.

There was very little I could do to help, other than sit by his side, ready to talk, ready to do anything to help ease the anxiety twisting within him. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like meeting the son you never knew you had. 

I was nervous as well. Not only was I going to meet Tyler’s son, I was also meeting his ex-girlfriend and his mother. No pressure. I had almost laughed out loud when it occurred to me. But no matter what I was feeling, this meeting wasn’t about me. I was here for Tyler. I was here to lend him strength, to give him someone to lean on.

We were to meet at his mother’s house. Tyler and I would arrive around six o’clock in the evening, and Claudia and Dante would arrive later. Tyler had assured me that he had called ahead and let Claudia know that I would be with him, but he never told me her reaction to the news.

We pulled into the driveway of a modest house. It was nothing like the mansions that Hamish chose to live in. It was a simple block-styled house, weather-beaten but loved. The door swung open with a creak as soon as we stepped out of the car, and a lady with salt and pepper hair styled into a short bob smiled at us from the front porch. Tyler approached and held out his hand, but she pulled him in for an embrace, despite his obvious resistance.

“And you must be Lauren.” She walked over, arms open and ready to hug me. I glanced Tyler’s way, but he was too busy pacing the small porch, his jaw once again bulging in and out.

“It’s wonderful to meet you Mrs—” I stopped, unsure what to call her.

“Please, just call me Diana. Tyler does.” She shot a look Tyler’s way, but he didn’t notice. “Come in,” she urged. “Make yourselves at home. Claude and Dante won’t be arriving for a little while so I’ve got the kettle on and we can all have a cup of tea.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting of the mother of Tyler Thornton, but this woman who moved around the small kitchen with ease, ragged jeans adorning her legs and an over-sized woollen jersey hanging off her shoulders was not it. There was nothing about her that reminded me of Tyler. I couldn’t imagine her in the Thornton world at all. She chatted easily about nothing, the weather, the flooding that had recently passed through the town and she asked about Sadie and the company we had started. For someone who hadn’t had much contact with her son, she sure knew a lot about his life. I guess that was because of Jake. She informed me that he called every week to keep her up to date, although he was yet to come and visit her since he had been home. She said he had demons he needed to chase away first.

Tyler sat silently through it all, only speaking when his mother directly asked him questions. And even then his answers were as short as possible to the point of being rude. She didn’t seem to notice or at least acted as though she didn’t, but there was an eagerness in her eyes that was hard to miss. She was desperate for contact with Tyler. She would take anything she could get.

There was nothing about her to indicate her past apart from a lone plaque on the wall. The mantra that many addicts lived by. A prayer of sorts. There was no twitch to her movements. I don’t know why I expected one, but from the way Tyler had described her, I imagined a woman desperate for release. A woman who was only holding on by a thread to her sobriety. Instead, she was a woman like any other, and I felt shamed by my assumptions.

When tyres crunched on the gravel, Tyler’s shoulders tensed. He looked over at me, his eyes darting between mine, searching for something, maybe strength, maybe reassurance. Whatever it was, I hope he found it. Taking his hand, I squeezed tightly.

“You okay?” I whispered as Diana opened the door and called out a cheerful greeting.

With a deep breath, Tyler nodded. “I have never been so desperate for someone to like me before I’ve even met them,” he said, his words getting caught in his throat.

In the doorway, Diana wrapped her arms around someone and dark hair appeared over her shoulder. Tyler closed his eyes for a moment, as though sending up a silent prayer and stepped forward as Diana released Dante from her embrace. Turning with a wide smile on her face, she spoke. “Dante, I would like you to meet your father. Tyler, this is your son, Dante.”

It was like the entire house held its breath as the two of them looked at each other with the same expression on their faces. Tyler was the first to step forward, offering his hand to the boy and clearing his throat. “Dante, I can’t tell you how good it is to meet you.”

Dante shook his hand before breaking into an ear-splitting grin. “I guess now I know why I don’t look like my mother.”

Tyler laughed nervously and turned to me. “Claudia, Dante, I’d like you to meet my partner, Lauren.”

“Gidday,” Dante said easily as I held out my hand.

His mother greeted me from the doorway with a cool, “Hello,” and a nod of her head. Her eyes narrowed as she looked me up and down, and I got the impression that Tyler’s announcement of my accompanying him didn’t go all that well.

“Where are your bags?” Diana asked, breaking the start of what was about to be an awkward silence. “I’ve made up the spare bedroom for you two.”

“I’ve booked the hotel in town,” Tyler replied, his eyes never leaving his son.

“Nonsense,” Diana dismissed. “Why would you stay there when you can stay here?”

“I thought it would be more comfortable for everyone.”

Diana gave Claudia a knowing look then plastered a smile back on her face. “Well, why doesn’t everyone take a seat and get to know each other. Lauren, would you like to join me in getting some refreshments while this little family reacquaint themselves.”

Family. The word struck my heart. That’s what they were. A family. I cleared the knot in my throat, reminding myself internally that this was about Tyler and Dante and not about me, and smiled politely.

“Of course.” I started to follow but Tyler gripped my hand.

“Please,” he whispered under his breath. “Stay with me.”

I looked between him and his mother, torn. Diana folded her arms and looked at me expectantly until finally, Claudia placed her hand on Tyler’s arm, forcing him to release his grip of me.

“This way,” she urged. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

By the time the kettle had boiled again and I had helped arrange cucumber sandwiches (which Diana assured me were Dante’s favourite) on a plate, Dante and Tyler were chatting easily in the lounge. Tyler’s eyes were bright. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he and Dante discussed their playing positions on the cricket pitch. Of course, they played the same position.

They laughed when Tyler asked which sports he played. Dante replied, “Rugby in winter,” and then they both added with the same tone of voice, the same mannerisms, “Cricket in summer.”

Claudia sat beside Tyler, leaving no room for me, so I moved to the only chair left spare, content to sit in the background. As much as I kept telling myself this was about Tyler, the way Claudia leaned into him and the way she threw looks my way had me worried that she didn’t feel the same. There was no way a 'Mr Claudia' was in the picture. I was afraid I was going to have to eat my words in regards to my scolding of Tyler’s jealousy. Just the way she was looking at him was driving me insane. And it didn’t help that she was gorgeous. She was tall, a lot taller than me. And skinny. And blonde. And beautiful. And she had given Tyler something I never could. A son.

But each time I looked at Tyler, all that worry faded. His eyes were fixed on his son. Everything about him gravitated towards the boy and it made my heart swell.

Dante was the same. It was like staring at the same person, years apart, facing their former and future selves. But Dante lacked Tyler’s seriousness. He was laid back and laughter fell out of his mouth easily. He was also a performer, many times rising to his feet to re-enact a story he was telling. He invited Tyler to his cricket game the next day and Tyler promised to be there. He wanted Tyler to meet his friends. He wanted to show Tyler his world.

It was late into the night when Dante asked how Tyler and his mother met, and it was Claudia who answered.

“Tyler and Jake came to stay for the holidays with Diana,” Claudia started.

“Jake?” Dante repeated. “Who is Jake?”

“Your uncle,” Tyler replied.

“I have an uncle?”

“You have two uncles, actually. Gabe and Jake.”

Dante grinned and nodded. “Sweet. When do I get to meet them?”

“Slow down,” his mother warned. “You’ve only just met your father. Let’s not go rushing into things.”

Dante shot Claudia a sharp look. “Rushing? You lied to me for years about his existence. I don’t think it’s possible to rush meeting your own family.”

Claudia swallowed her guilt and darted a look Tyler’s way.

“Hey,” Tyler said, reaching out to pat Dante’s knee. “I know what that’s like. My mother lied to me too and I wish I’d known about you earlier, but your mother is right. There is no need to rush anything. You’ve got me forever now.”

That made Dante grin and he sat back with his hands behind his head, crossing his legs at the ankles, reminding me so much of Tyler it hurt.

“Well,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Claudia, his annoyance discarded quickly. “He came for the holidays and?”

Claudia let a smile spread across her face and turned to Tyler. “You should have seen him back then. He was quiet and serious and ever so innocent. He was such a good boy. I couldn’t help but want to ruin him a little.”

“Did you leave before you found out?” Dante asked, turning to Tyler. “Before you knew she was pregnant.”

Tyler glanced Claudia’s way before answering and she nodded her permission. “I knew she was pregnant but I thought you were someone else’s. Your mother faced a difficult decision and I was just a boy back then. I wasn't ready to be a father, even if I was never given the choice.”

Claudia reached out and took Tyler’s hand in her own. “Your father and I did what we thought was best.”

Surprise lit Tyler’s eyes and he pulled his hand away, but he didn’t correct her.

“So you knew this whole time?” Confusion passed over Dante’s face.

“No,” Tyler said firmly. “I never knew about you. I would have wanted to be part of your life if I had.”

Shaking his head, Dante looked between Claudia and Tyler. “I don’t understand. If you didn’t know about me, how could you know what was best for me?”

Claudia sighed. “It’s a long and complicated story, Dante, and one day I will tell it to you. But not today. Today all you need to know is that you have a father and a mother and we both want what is best for you.”

“But—”

“No buts!” Claudia said sharply. “It’s time for bed.”

“It’s only—”

“Bed now!” she ordered and then turned to Diana. “Is it alright if we stay the night here, Diana? I’m not sure I can handle going back to an empty house tonight and if Tyler isn’t going to stay…” She let her words fade and glanced my way as though it were my fault that Tyler insisted on staying at the hotel.

“Of course, my dear. You know you and Dante are welcome in this house whenever you want.”

Dante got to his feet, letting out a resigned sigh. “Fine. But you will still be here tomorrow, won’t you? You’ll come to my game in the morning?” he asked, turning to Tyler.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Tyler replied, getting to his feet. Dante’s eyes skipped around the room. “I’ve actually got a match on this Monday if you wanted to stay and—”

“Dante,” his mother warned.

“I know, I know. Bedtime. But I can’t believe you won’t even let me stay up when—”

“Goodnight,” she said firmly.

Dante grinned and pushed his hair back from his face. “Goodnight,” he said to everyone. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“It was wonderful to meet you, Dante,” I replied, returning the boy’s smile. “I look forward to seeing you in action.”

“Good. I’m worth seeing.”

I chuckled at his confidence as he walked over and threw his arms around Tyler, startling him for a moment before he returned the bear hug.

“Tomorrow,” he repeated as he clapped Tyler on the back. He tried to act casual but emotion caught in his throat as he uttered the words, “Night, Dad.”

Tyler looked over Dante’s shoulder as he hugged him, eyes shining brightly as they met mine. “Night, son.”

“Well,” Diana said as soon as the door closed behind Dante. “That went well. Don’t you think it went well, Claudia?”

“It would have been nice for you to back me up a little more, Tyler,” was Claudia’s reply.

“What?” Tyler replied. “I’m not lying to him. I’m not pretending that I knew he existed when clearly I didn’t. I won’t have the boy thinking that I deserted him.”

“Like you deserted your mother?” Claudia threw him a challenging look.

“My mother chose you over me.” Tyler’s voice was cold. “It wasn’t the same thing.”

“I did no such thing, Tyler,” Diana said quietly. “You are the one who avoided me for all these years. I’ve always been here.”

The tension in the room grew so thick I could taste it.

Tyler’s voice was quiet but controlled. “You lied to me for years, Diana.”

“I didn’t have to lie. I never saw you. Besides, it was what your father wanted.”

“And you’ve always done what my father wanted?”

“We agreed together that it would be what was best for you.”

“It wasn’t your choice to make,” Tyler growled. 

“Don’t be too harsh on your mother, Tyler,” Claudia spoke up. “I know this has been difficult for you, and I understand that you feel hurt by it all, but your mother has been there for me and Dante in ways I can never repay. She pulled her life together for us. She’s been here for us. She’s been more of a mother to me than my own mother has.”

“Well, I’m pleased she was a mother to you,” Tyler said bluntly. “I wouldn’t know what that felt like.”

Getting to my feet, I attempted to relieve the situation by suggesting we leave for the night.

“Yes,” Claudia agreed. “That might be best. I would also suggest you don’t attend Dante’s game in the morning,” she added, turning to me. “It would be good for Dante to spend some time alone with his family. It’s quite enough for him to wrap his head around having a father, let alone having to compete for his affection with the girlfriend.”

I waited for Tyler to object but he didn’t.

“Whatever you think is best,” I replied, swallowing the rising anger that I wanted to direct Claudia’s way. For Tyler’s sake, I wouldn’t bite.

“Till the morning then.” Claudia got to her feet and pressed a kiss to Tyler’s cheek. “I will see you at the game. I’ll text the address.”

It was only then that I truly grasped what it must have felt like for Tyler to see me with Gabe, knowing the history we had shared. Seeing him with Claudia was hard enough even knowing that their history was years in the past. If it had been more recent, I don’t know how I would have reacted.