LAUREN

 

It wasn’t until four o’clock in the afternoon that Sadie left. I had told her to leave earlier, but she just rolled her eyes and insisted that Tyler would kill her. I reminded her that she didn’t work for him anymore, that she didn’t have to do what he told her, but she just shrugged and went back to watching the talk show on the extremely small screen that hung from the ceiling in the corner of the room.

Tyler had already called to tell me that he couldn’t make it back for a few more hours. Even though he had organised to have the day off to attend Dante’s game, the recent events had meant he was left trying to juggle things around for at least the rest of the week. I told him he didn’t have to. I told him I would be fine, maybe a little bored, but fine, but he wouldn’t listen.

And now that I was sitting here alone, I didn’t mind the peace. My head was beginning to ache, and I was pretty sure that if I closed my eyes for a few minutes, I would fall asleep.

But Tyler obviously wasn’t okay with my insistence that I would be fine because I had to force my eyes back open when there was a knock on the door.

“Hey you,” Gabe said, his face breaking out into a side-splitting grin. “How you feeling today?”

Groaning, I struggled to sit up in the bed. I must have fallen asleep as somehow I’d lost almost two hours and I could hear the food trolleys rattling down the hall. “What are you doing here?”

“And it’s good to see you too.” Gabe laughed. “Tyler sent me.”

“Argh,” I moaned. “That man.”

Dragging a chair over to my bed, Gabe sat down beside me, glancing up at the TV which was now mute, but images still flashed across the screen. “What are we watching?”

I shook my head, trying to dislodge the tendrils of sleep. “Are you sure he asked you to come?”

Gabe held up his hands as if declaring surrender. “I swear,” he said. “Twice now he’s asked me. Weird, huh? I think it’s finally dawning on him that I didn’t stand a chance.”

“That’s not—”

“You don’t need to explain, Lauren. I know it’s the truth. I was fooling myself by thinking differently. As much as it pains me, he loves you, Lauren. Like painfully, stupidly so. You turn him into a fucking idiot at times.”

I blinked. “An idiot?”

“You know what I mean. The normal Tyler, the Tyler we all know and sometimes despise, is calculated and controlled. He plans out every stupid detail of his life. But Tyler with you is a different kettle of fish. I told him that too. He’s reckless around you. Fuck me. Love me. Live with me. Marry me.”

I struggled to contain my surprise. “He told you?”

Gabe grinned. “Yeah, but you did first.”

“When?” I was horrified. There was nothing in my memory of telling Gabe about the proposal.

“You were still all hopped up on drugs and just sort of blurted it out. I made him tell me about it later, once you were asleep again.”

“And,” I swallowed a nervous knot that had suddenly appeared in the back of my throat, “are we good? You and me, I mean?”

Gabe’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I love you, Lauren. There may be a part of me that always will. But I know we’re not meant to be, you and me. I knew it that night at the club. And then later at Jake’s fight. I knew there was no point fighting for you anymore. Not when you only wanted Tyler.”

I reached for his hand, but he shied away from my touch. “Gabe, I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as though fighting back emotion. “Did you ever love me?”

“My god, yes,” I cried. “Yes, I did. Yes, I do, just not in the way you want. You were so good to me, Gabe. When Derek left, I was a mess. There was little confidence left in me. I felt discarded, unloved. Unwanted. And then you came along and changed everything. I will forever be grateful to you for that. There will always be a part of me that loves you.”

Gabe rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head. “Good,” he said, and attempted a grin. “I guess that’s all I can ask for.”

“You’ll find someone, Gabe. You’re much too gorgeous not to.”

Gabe grinned. “I know. Not many women can resist this.” He circled his face. “Problem is finding one I can’t resist. One that isn’t you.” Gabe’s words got caught in his throat and he kind of laughed-cried. “Ah, shit.” He tried to laugh again. “I didn’t come here planning on declaring my undying love for you. Tyler would kill me right now. He made me promise to keep my hands, eyes and mouth away from you.”

“Well, you’ve kept that promise, so I’d say you’re fine.”

“Not because I want to.” Gabe looked up and there was a glimmer in his eyes. One that pleaded. One that begged. He searched my face, hunting for the same response, and when he didn’t find it, he rubbed his hands over his face again and muttered, “Sorry.”

“Tyler never really told me much about what happened that night. Apparently, you beat him in some fight?”

That brought his smile back. “Fuck yeah, I did.” He settled back in the chair. “It was glorious. Glorious I tell you. So we’re at this sort of underground fight club, right?”

I leaned back into the pillow and listened to him retell the story. It was a lot more graphic than Tyler’s version, complete with blow by blow details of how he beat him.

Things between Gabe and I were never going to be completely at ease. There was always going to be that underlying buzz of tension and awkwardness, but I was grateful for this moment between us. Grateful for his honesty. I only hoped he knew that what I said was true. As much as I loved Tyler, as much as I desired him, longed for him, Gabe had been there when Tyler wasn’t. He was the one that helped put me back together. He was the one who held me to a mirror and told me I was beautiful. He would always hold a place in my heart, even if it wasn’t the one he wanted.

“He told me that night that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you,” Gabe was saying.

“He did?”

“The night before, at the club, was when it truly dawned on me how you felt about him. You’d never snapped at me before but you did that night. I knew it was over. I knew I’d become a nuisance to you.”

“Gabe…” I reached out to him again and this time he let me place my hand on his knee.

“But there at the fight, that was when I realised how much you meant to him. He was willing to swallow his pride and ask for my forgiveness. He was willing to beg me for you because he just wanted to make you happy, and he knew that wouldn’t happen if we didn’t get our shit together. He loves you, Lauren. And as much as I’d like to tell you there was some doubt to my statement, there is none. Tyler and I may never become good friends, but at least we understand each other now. There’s a level of respect.”

Tears threatened. Again. I wasn’t sure if it was the events in my life, the amount of painkillers pumping through my system, or if I was due for that time of the month, but I was emotional. The last few days had been exhausting. “Just know that I never wanted to hurt you, Gabe. I never meant to fall for you and then Tyler. If I could go back and change things, I would in a heartbeat.”

Gabe squinted up at me. “Yeah, if you could go back and change things I would have never had the chance to be with you. And even with the heartbreak you put me through, I still wouldn’t give that up.”

“You are almost too good, Gable Thornton.”

He nodded, and slow and devious smile spreading over his face. “Yeah, I’ve heard that a lot.”

I picked up the magazine beside my bed and whacked him across the head.

* * *

I spent a total of six days in hospital. By the time they let me out, I was desperate for the peace and quiet of Tyler’s loft. There was no rattling trolley to deliver mediocre meals. There were no nurses popping into my room every hour or so during the night just to check I was okay. There were no alarms. No patients who insisted on having their TV at a volume level that could be heard throughout the hospital. There was just Tyler and me.

Peta called every day. Tyler had called her, as well as my family, once he knew what was happening as he didn’t want them to worry needlessly. I told him to downplay the accident and my injuries. A fractured hip was all they needed to know. They didn’t need to know about the surgery or the metal pins. Anything more and my mother would have been on her way up here to grace me with her presence. That was something I didn’t need during my recovery.

My first trip out of the house was with Billie. She had insisted I go to a fancy dress shop with her to select costumes for a party Hamish and she were going to, but I knew it was simply to get me out and about. She rattled on about Hamish and his new lease on life which included only eating raw food and never consuming alcohol. Even though she didn’t say it, I almost think she resented his sobriety, simply because it had shone a light on her lack of it. Still, she insisted, she was young. She didn’t need to be trapped in the house all day with a baby and a husband who followed her around like a lost puppy.

For the entire first week, Tyler slept on the couch, certain that his presence in the bed would somehow hurt me, or disturb my sleep. The opposite was true. His bed without him was too large. My mind was constantly trapped on the other side of the wall.

But that was about to change.

I was going to insist on it.