Leo

Lepper walked into my office. His visits were a regular thing, but his play on the ice hadn’t changed at all. If I hadn’t watched video of him earlier in the season, I would have been shocked that he was drafted at all. But since I knew how good he could be, he presented an interesting challenge. Mainly we shot the breezes when he came in. We’d talked about his junior hockey experiences, his dad passing away young, and his first season with the Vice.

“Coach, I thought about why I got into hockey, like you said.”

“And what did you come up with?”

“To be honest, it was mostly about my dad. He was a huge hockey fan and really proud of my hockey playing. So he was a big influence on me.”

If that were true, it was bad news for Lepper. Players who were externally driven often struggled to push to new levels. My philosophy was not to motivate players, but help them motivate themselves.

“You miss him a lot.”

Lepper’s gaze dropped to the floor. “He was a great guy. You know, it’s so stupid, but when I see the Millionaires doing those father trips, I can imagine my dad there. He would be in the middle of everything, having the best time.” Lepper’s lower lip trembled. I gave him time to work through his emotions. We were comfortable enough with each other that silences were okay.

I switched the topic. “Hey, I finally got the answer to the question you asked me in our first meeting.”

“What was that?”

“About Coach Panner. Amanda told me he’s going to be taking up a scouting position this fall.”

Lepper’s expression was solemn. “So, he’s not coaching anymore?”

“He’s good with the new position. He’ll start out part-time because he needs some time to rehab, and he’s moving back to Ontario.”

The player’s forehead creased, and his sigh was almost audible. “Then, that’s good, right?”

“Right. Listen, correct me if I’m wrong, but I sense that you feel responsible for Bob’s heart attack.”

Lepper’s eyes widened. “Of course, I was. He was yelling at me when it happened. I didn’t cover my man in our zone. And then I gave him crap when he called me out.”

“Rico, stop. Bob is a grown man who makes his own choices. In all the times I’ve seen him, he never blamed you. Nobody does. His lifestyle meant something had to give. He was working way too hard and not looking after himself. Now he can make changes and come back one hundred percent.”

Lepper didn’t look convinced, but I was sure this was the breakthrough we’d been searching for. If he could shed his guilt around Bob’s heart attack, he could clear his mind and play better. I was no psychiatrist, but it was clear that he harboured some issues around his dad’s sudden death as well.

“You know, most players can benefit from talking to a psychologist or therapist,” I suggested.

“What the hell? There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not nuts, if that’s what you think.”

I raised my hands. “Slow down. Your life is incredibly pressured. You want to play your best to reach the next level. So you need to clear your mind to focus on your game. Working with a sport psychologist can help in so many ways.”

He exhaled. “Oh. A sports psychologist. That’s different.”

I hid my smile. That was always the reaction. If it was couched in mental preparation for hockey, everyone was on board. “All kinds of therapists are helpful. I went to one myself during my divorce.”

“You?” Lepper was shocked. “You’re always totally in control.”

“Mental health is as important as staying in shape.” After I split with Sophie, it was affecting my work so much that I needed help.

Lepper yanked out his phone and checked the time. “That reminds me, Coach. Don’t forget to call your daughter.”

“Merde. Thanks.” After talking to Jackie, I had arranged to call Charlotte at six o’clock every night. I preferred to use my laptop so I could really see her, but if I was on the road I’d use my phone instead. I’d booted Lepper out of the office a few times to make my call, so he knew the drill.

He headed out. I made a note to follow up on hooking up Lepper with help. The Vice lacked many things, but Amanda had made sure that our medical insurance coverage was extensive. Some kind of therapy for Lepper would be covered and benefit him tremendously.

Then I closed my office door and dialled up Charlotte. Her sweet face appeared on the screen, and my heart took its usual dip at the sight. I smiled at her, and the corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

“Hello, chaton. How are you today?”

“I’m fine, Papa.”

I leaned towards the laptop screen as if that could bring me closer to Charlotte.

“How did your project on tigers go?” I asked.

She blinked, her mouth in a straight line, and her blonde hair shading her face. “Good. Madame Pinault said it was very thorough.” Then she looked down into her lap. It was always like this at the beginning of a call, she was very quiet. But soon she’d be bubbling up with things she wanted to tell me.

As she turned her head, a glint caught my eye.

“C’est quoi, ca? Did you get your ears pierced?”

Charlotte’s eyes widened in alarm. “Do you not like them?” She turned to the side so I could see the tiny stud on the perfect pale skin of her earlobe.

There must have been an angry note in my voice that she caught, so I tried to speak more pleasantly. “Not at all. Was this something you wanted to do?”

“Kind of.” That made it hard to know if it was her decision or Sophie’s. The piercing did bother me. It meant she was growing up, but it also felt creepily premature—more for teenagers than young girls. Sophie would have a million arguments though: that all her friends did it, that it was for fashion, that she had her ears pierced at the same age. Besides, what was the point of arguing things that were already done?

I felt the helplessness of being so far away. Mainly, it was the pain that again she had grown up in the short time since we last spoke. With adults, a month could go by and nothing new would have happened. But with Charlotte, every day brought some change.

We chatted more about her friends and her weekend trip to a sugar shack.

“Oh Papa, they poured the maple sap on the snow and we ate it with sticks! It was so delicious. My stomach got happy bumps!”

I laughed, and then a shadow appeared behind her.

“Charlotte, c’est l’heure.” Sophie’s hand tipped with dark red nails appeared on Charlotte’s shoulder. My daughter’s face darkened a little. The time difference meant that our calls weren’t that long before she had to go to bed.

“Okay. Bye bye, Papa.” She leaned forward, and we both “kissed” each other through the screen. My lips felt the cold screen instead of her petal-soft skin.

Sophie sat down in her place. As usual, she looked beautiful and slightly pissed off. I tried to present a neutral expression.

“Alors, Leo, we need to discuss the schedule for this summer. After the wedding, Wes and I will bring Charlotte to Vancouver. It’s on our way to Hawaii, so it’s not too much of an imposition.”

“Sophie, I told you, I’m happy to go to Montréal to pick her up. The season will be over, and I’ll have lots of flexibility. You’re the one who insisted on coming here.”

“The original plan was that you were going to look after her in Montréal. You’re the one who changed that. I don’t understand why you’re not coming home this summer.”

I had only explained this three times. “We have a lot to do for the upcoming season—planning, systems, building renos—so Chris and I will be spending the whole summer working. I could take a week off to pick up Charlotte though.”

Sophie waved that away. “C’est pas ça. Here, I know that your mother will look after Charlotte. How are you going to look after your daughter if you’re working?”

“I’m going to hire a nanny. A friend is helping me find someone. A university student.”

Sophie pounced on that. “A friend? Ta nouvelle blonde?”

I shook my head. Jackie wasn’t my girlfriend. We hadn’t even had the talk yet. Then I felt a flash of guilt. We should have had the talk by now, but I’d been putting it off. Being with Jackie was so pleasurable that I’d ignored the normal timetable for these things.

Besides, Sophie was overly interested in my personal life. “There’s no girlfriend. I will let you know when I have the nanny lined up. But it’s still three months away.”

She frowned. “Mon Dieu, don’t remind me. I have so much to do for the wedding, and we are so busy at work. I may be in Vancouver soon, we’re looking at sites for expanding into that market. Mais, c’est ridicule là, so expensive.” The Montréal hotel chain that Sophie worked for was expanding to new markets. “Which reminds me, you have enough room in your place for Charlotte, right?”

“There’s a room decorated especially for her.”

“You should send photos. I’d like to see it.”

“I want to keep it as a surprise for her,” I replied. Sophie’s brows knotted. She liked to get her way even in the smallest things. We were both very stubborn, and that had caused many arguments. Luckily, her fiancé was very easy-going. I’d met Wes Graham twice, and he seemed like a good guy.

Sophie’s face took on a knowing expression. “I can’t believe you don’t have a girlfriend yet. You’ve been there a month already, n’est ce pas?”

I shrugged. “I’m busy at work.”

“Oui, je sais. You’re a workaholic. But you always find time for women. I want to meet your new girlfriend when I get there.”

“Sophie, I told you—”

She waved her hand at my protests. “Oui, oui, oui. Even if you don’t have someone yet—which I don’t believe—you will by the time we are there. If there’s going to be another woman looking after Charlotte, I want to meet her. We can all go out for dinner or something.”

No point in arguing something so hypothetical. “Anything else?”

“Yes, there’s one more thing. Wes and I are going to be moving after we get married.”

“Where?” Merde. This was news, and not good news. Wes had some job with luxury yachts, and he lived in San Diego. But he’d been taking jobs on the East Coast and staying with Sophie in between, so I assumed that was how things would continue. Besides, this issue was painful to me. Sophie’s career was so important to her that I was shocked she’d marry someone who didn’t even live in Montréal. Now she was considering moving to the States. She had never been willing to move for me—even though we had Charlotte together. But over time, everyone changes.

Sophie flipped her smooth hair back, and a vague memory flashed of how fine and soft each strand felt. “We don’t know yet. Somewhere on the coast.”

“Which coast?”

“We don’t know that yet either. Wes needs to be able to fly easily, so near a big airport. But I haven’t been able to find a job in San Diego that’s equivalent to what I do now.”

“Okay, well, keep me posted.” Again, all this was hypothetical. Once they’d decided on a city, we could discuss things more. Maybe Charlotte would end up being closer, which would be a good thing. Sophie enjoyed drama, and I wasn’t willing to oblige her with a big argument about something that might not even happen. But my ex still knew how to push all my buttons.

We said goodbye, and I closed the laptop. Talking to Sophie always left me unsettled, but now more than ever. I was glad that she was happy, but I could see that Charlotte’s life was going to change a lot in the next year—and I wondered what my place in that new life would be.