Leo

“Holy shit.”

Dave Dominick stopped short in the doorway of the new gym. Because of his size, nobody else could see inside, and jostling began behind him.

“Gentlemen, let’s keep it moving,” I said. But it was exciting to see how the guys were reacting to all our hard work in the offseason. Lucky had identified poor fitness as a problem for the team, so we made the training facilities better. Hopefully, this would mean fewer third period breakdowns.

None of the new invites to training camp thought our gym was a big deal, other than having all new equipment. But that was fine because it meant we were up to the standards of the best AHL teams in the league.

I stood beside Dom and Devo as they looked around. “Big change from last season, right?”

“No shit,” Dom agreed. “It’s good to see the team finally spending some money on us.”

“Game day meals too,” I told him. And the Millionaire’s nutritionist would be giving lectures as well. This season was all about maximizing performance. Controlling variables like nutrition was important, but we still didn’t have money for an open kitchen. But especially for younger guys, learning how to eat properly would set a good foundation. I was emphasizing the basic building blocks this season.

The best thing about working with Lucky was getting involved in so many management decisions. Amanda held regular update meetings that I initially thought were a waste of time. But then I realized that if I presented an idea that management liked, both Amanda and Greg would work hard to finance it. Those meetings were the time when team philosophy met practical applications.

Devo clapped me on the shoulder. “Coach, this is amazing. Guys are gonna kill to be on this team.”

Well, that wasn’t true. We’d invited a few players who turned us down flat. But the Vice were becoming a more appealing destination for sure. And the Millionaire’s roster was almost set now. We’d be getting back Burner, Lepper, and a couple of excellent prospects. Seb Söderlund was a first round draft pick and a nineteen year old from the Swedish Hockey League. The Millionaires would probably call him up during the season, but they also wanted him to bulk up and get a little more North American experience. Henry Lionel was a centreman who was drafted in the third round but had really improved during his college career. Both players were speedy, which was huge for me. I wanted an up-tempo style of play this year. As Lucky said, at least we were going to be entertaining. No more one-nothing losses.

My coaching team was all set too. We’d kept Ian Lee from last season. He was inexperienced, but I wanted to keep a stronger hand on the team’s offence anyway. And my defence coach was someone I’d worked with back in the Q, Bryan Walsh. It felt good to have an old friend here in Vancouver. And it felt even better to have someone here who I could rely upon completely to handle the defensive side of the team.

I stopped by Lucky’s office once I’d met with the other coaches. Amanda was there too.

“It’s all done.” I put the finalized roster on his desk. “Ladies and gentlemen, your new Vancouver Vice.”

“How good are we going to be?” asked Amanda. Both she and Lucky were really set on getting into the playoffs. It was part of their business plan. But the only way to guarantee getting into the playoffs would be spending a lot more money.

“Can’t really tell until we start playing games,” I said.

She made a face at me. “C’mon, Leo. Give me something.”

“We’re much better than last season. I’m still worried about goaltending though.” Everything depended on injuries and call-ups. If the Millionaires took away our best players it would be harder. But I was reassured by the depth at our ECHL affiliate. Those were the guys that we could call up if needed, both defence and forwards. Our goaltender was decent, but we had zero depth in back-ups.

Amanda was looking over the roster. “A job well done, gentlemen. How about we go out to dinner? I’m paying,” she offered.

“Sounds good to me,” Lucky said. “If you’re paying, I’m choosing someplace expensive. I’m jones-ing for seafood.”

She swatted at him and laughed. “Okay, let’s go then. Can Jackie join us, Leo?”

I looked down at the ratty carpeting. Lucky’s office was in the other part of the arena, and it was still crappy. “Uh, no. We broke up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Well, never mind, the three of us can go. That’s easier anyway.”

“I think I’ll just go home,” I said. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

Amanda’s face was sympathetic, but I really didn’t deserve it. Besides, I wasn’t unhappy. It was only a phase. Not sleeping well and being irritable, it was a temporary thing. Once the season got underway and we started playing some real games, I’d feel a lot better. Maybe I needed to up my fitness regimen or take up meditation or something like that. Mental lethargy was like a physical ailment. I needed to work it out.

I went back to my office to get my laptop. I had to focus on the positives. The new team looked good. Lucky was the best boss I’d ever worked with. My coaching team was great. I had a good relationship with the Millionaire’s coaching staff, and we were working together to implement team systems so call-ups could move seamlessly into the NHL. But I’d still have a lot of freedom around special teams and player motivation—that’s where I could prove myself as a difference maker. The beginning of a season was always the most exciting time for me.

And personally, things were good too. Sophie and Wes were seriously considering moving to Vancouver or Seattle, which meant that I’d be able to see Charlotte much more. Once that all came together, I’d feel better.

But thinking about Charlotte made me feel guilty. The little lie I’d told about not breaking up with Jackie had forced me to make up stupid stories about Hannah, Tristan, and even that fat cat, Minx. That made me feel like a phony and a shitty dad, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth because I knew how sad she’d be. Maybe it would even change her mind about moving to Vancouver.

Sometimes it felt like the easiest thing would be to call up Jackie and see if she was interested in getting back together. But I couldn’t do that to her. I wasn’t going to jerk her around because she didn’t deserve that. She was honest with me about what she wanted: a relationship with a future. I couldn’t give that to her.

Rico Aleppo burst in. “Hey, Coach. Nice new office you got here.”

“Thanks, Lepper.” As part of the renovations, I got a bigger office, with whiteboards and white walls. It was neat and tidy, just the way I liked things. But maybe a little sterile.

Lepper looked great. I’d seen him during the summer, but now I could see the results of all his hard work. He looked stronger, and that translated to new power and speed on the ice. But most of all he looked confident. There was a glow of energy and vitality around him.

“So, it looks like you had a good summer.”

He nodded vigorously. “I did. It was great to stay here and focus on getting myself ready. I gotta be honest, Coach, I wasn’t happy to get sent down, but I was happy to get a chance to play for you again. I feel like I owe you so much. Talking to Edgar this summer, like seriously, it saved my life. There was all this crap that I’d been taking on and blaming myself for. He helped me to understand why I was doing all that.”

“That’s great to hear, Rico. Sounds like you did a ton of hard work this summer, both internally and externally.”

He leaned towards me. “But Coach, I wouldn’t have done it without you encouraging me. I always thought that therapy was for guys who were, you know, weak or nuts or something. When you said you’d done it, I was shocked. You’re so together.”

“Thank you. Most people need help at some point in their lives.”

Merde. Why did it take so long for me to turn on this particular light bulb? Everything was going great at work, but I still had this nagging discontent. I was having trouble sleeping, and I was irritable. I needed to talk to someone before things got worse. And luckily, I already knew the resources available here.