Chapter Five
He wanted to burn something. He wanted to let the fire consume and transform him. He would revert to his true form and fly over the city. He would burn it to the ground and destroy it. The air would reek of smoke. Fire would be everywhere. The images consumed his mind, it was all he could think about.
Breathe, he reminded himself. Deep, calming breaths. He would not transform. He was in control of the dragon, it was not in control of him. He was the master of his anger, only he could let himself transform. Calm. He needed to be calm.
Remembering his old meditation training, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath counting to ten. He imagined his long body rising from the ground. His powerful wings beat the air as he lifted himself up higher and higher.
He was over a forest. A deep forest with no people in it. Beyond the forest was a chain of low mountains, rounded off and covered with tall green trees. He flew up in the air and then dove down into the trees before rising up again. He was huge and powerful. Fire burned inside of him.
He flew towards the mountains and quickly zoomed between two of them. Underneath him was a wide, calm, blue lake. Flying over it, he could see his own reflection. His long snout was lined with sharp teeth, the yellow and green scales that covered his body, the dark wings that stretched on either side of him. He flew over the lake, the water rippling from the beating of his wings.
This was his memory palace. The peaceful place that existed just in his mind. It was the place he went when he needed to calm the angry beast that was always lurking inside of him. His father had taught him this trick and he had been perfecting it his entire life.
The dragon was always in him. It was always angry. It always wanted to feed. It had taken Cain a long time to gain control over the dragon within him. But he was the master now. He was in control, but it was a constant fight. The dragon always wanted to come out. It never rested. It had been over eight years since he had last lost control and transformed. He wasn’t interested in ending that streak, he had to keep the dragon under control.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Michelle. Why did she have to be his attorney? Why couldn’t she have been a girl he had met at a club or a bar? Why did she have to be so good at her job and so perfect for him? It wasn’t fair. They belonged together. They would have been perfect together. But now she was going to date his best friend and there was nothing he could do about it.
Cain slammed his fist into the locker. The pain radiated from his knuckles up through his arm. A stinging, electric shock of pain that reverberated through his body. It didn’t help. It only made him angrier. The dragon inside of him was rearing up and screaming to be released.
Everyone was waiting for him on the ice. He had a training to get to. He was acting like a diva and slowing everyone down. But he didn’t want to train. Normally he couldn’t wait to get out onto the ice. He would be laced up well before the rest of the team. But today he felt tired and sluggish. The only thing he wanted to do was transform and fly, the one thing he couldn’t do.
He pushed himself up and off the bench. He felt weighed down, like he was carrying heavy weights on his shoulders. He wasn’t in the mood to train. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with his teammates. Mostly, he didn’t want to deal with Brock.
Cain made his way out onto the ice where his teammates were skating between plastic orange cones. Their voices echoed in the rink and he could hear their skates as they scraped against the smooth ice.
He saw Brock hanging back near the penalty box. Brock was the offensive coach for the whole team, but mostly he worked with Cain. Normally, Cain was grateful to have his best friend training him, but today he wished he had never met Brock Thaddeus.
Traitor, turncoat, betrayer, double-crosser, snake, sneak, two-timer, the words echoed around in his head as he glared at his former best friend. Who did he think he was? Who was Brock compared to Cain? Cain was a three-time Hart Trophy winner, he led the Olympic team, he had won the Stanley Cup three times and Brock was stealing his girl? It was impossible. It was wrong and he couldn’t stand it.
“There he is,” Brock said clapping his hand on Cain’s back as Cain finally took to the ice. He shrugged the hand off and quickly skated past Brock and towards the orange cones. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him and he wished they would look at something else.
He focused on skating. He clasped his hands behind his back and began to speed skate through the cones, getting in line with the rest of his teammates as they warmed up. He wanted to be lost in a crowd. Pushing his feet, the edge of his skate cutting into the ice and propelling him forward.
He pushed and skated until his heart was pounding. The dragon inside of him relished in the beating of his heart, it wanted more. He needed to work. He needed to push himself until the dragon was sated. He continued to weave between the cones, trying to focus on the movements and working the muscles in his legs.
Focus eluded him. Every time he glanced up he would see Brock. And every time the dragon would rear up and scream. So he put his head down. He just needed to do this. He needed to push himself. He needed to train until he couldn’t stand. Then, and only then, would he and the dragon sleep.
He was on his third lap when he saw Brock skate out onto the ice. His blood boiled. This was bad, this was very bad. The dragon was thrashing inside of him, desperate to be let out. The dragon would handle Brock. The dragon would rip him limb from limb, burn the parts and feast on the flesh.
No! Brock was his best friend, his oldest friend. Cain would never hurt him. That was the dragon talking and there was a reason the dragon wasn’t in control.
“Everything alright?” Brock asked as he skated up to Cain. He fell into Cain’s rhythm until they were skating together. Cain was fuming, he balled up his fists and tried to keep himself under control.
“Everything’s fine,” he said tersely. He wanted to push Brock over and pummel him until he was nothing more than an angry red stain on the ice.
“Really, because you look like you want to straight up murder me. What is going on?” Cain sped up, but Brock was on him keeping pace, until he finally pulled in front of Cain and came to a screeching halt, blocking Cain’s path.
“Don’t,” Cain warned. They were dangerously close to each other. Only inches apart. Cain could hear his own heavy breathing loud in his ears. Blood was thundering through his veins; the dragon was clawing to get out.
“Don’t what?” Brock demanded.
Cain moved to push away, but Brock grabbed his arm. He snarled and wrenched his arm free.
“What is your problem?” Brock demanded again.
“Michelle!” Cain said, the word echoing around the rink. The players on his team stopped in their tracks and all heads turn to face them.
“Your lawyer, Michelle?” Brock asked.
“Yes. You had no right going after her. I’m the one who knew her first. I invited her to the party so I could ask her out.”
“She’s your lawyer. I thought the two of you couldn’t date.”
Cain shook his head. He was furious. He wanted to punch and hit and burn everything. He was seething, barely holding himself back. He wanted to launch the dragon at Brock. Stretch his long neck out and remove Brock’s head with his strong dragon jaw.
“We’re not in high school anymore,” Brock said. “You don’t get to call dibs on a woman. Either you go for it and ask her out or you get out of the way. You can’t expect her to sit up on a high shelf, out of the reach of everyone else until you’re ready.”
He was right. That was the worst part. Brock was right. Michelle was her own person and she could date anyone she wanted. He couldn't tell her what to do. He couldn’t expect her to wait for him. But that didn’t mean he was ready for her to date his best friend and coach.
“I’m sorry,” Brock said holding his hand up in appeasement. “I didn’t know that you were interested in her. You never mentioned it. But she and I have a date for this weekend and I’m going whether you like it or not.”
“I gotta get some air,” Cain said. He skated to the entrance to the rink and ripped off his skates, putting his shoes on and leaving the practice behind.