Chapter Four
It had been two weeks since she was in Crosby’s house, two weeks since he had pinned her to the wall and ravaged her body. Tamsin couldn’t forget it, because he had made her feel good, because he had stroked her deep inside in places nobody else had touched her before. She could still feel him inside her. She could feel him there without needing confirmation. He had impregnated her. She was carrying his child.
The pregnancy test confirmed what she already knew. What was she supposed to do now? Crosby Jones was all over the news. The team had made it to the NBA finals. She saw his face everywhere, and she had to write reports about his games. She was carrying his child, and he didn’t even know.
He had texted her, several times. But she hadn’t texted him back. She had turned off her phone eventually, growing tired of his attempts to get through to her. He had used her and she wasn’t ready to forgive him for it.
Tamsin tried to tell herself it was for the best. He probably wouldn’t want the baby anyway. He didn’t know her at all and was too busy with his basketball career not to mention his numerous flings, to be a dad.
Tamsin stayed at work late the next day. She knew the editor was mad at her for failing to secure the interview with Crosby Jones, which was why she had been assigned all the crap jobs that nobody else wanted to do. She had failed, both professionally and personally. She had fallen for a trick by a man who made it his personal hobby to manipulate as many women as he could. How could she have trusted him? And now she was carrying his child, a secret nobody could know about. No matter how much she looked up to him, no matter how celebrated he was in the country, at the end of the day he was just like every other man, and he only wanted one thing.
Tamsin rubbed her eyes and looked around. It was two days away from the finals, and she wasn’t covering them. Somebody else who the editor thought was more competent was going to do the report. Everyone else on her floor had left by this time and the janitor was vacuuming the carpeted floor while Tamsin typed away at her computer, trying to finish an article she wasn’t interested in writing. It was time to go home. She was beginning to feel a little dizzy from the stress and strain, from the changes that her body was undergoing.
She picked up her bag, switched off her computer and walked over to the elevator. She realized she was more tired than she usually was. It was because of all the emotional and physical baggage.
Waiting for the elevator, thoughts about Crosby started entering her mind again. The memory of him holding her against the wall and ramming into her made her feel wet again. She had to push the thought out of her head. It would only make her sad and angry. As attracted as she was to him, he had used her. She shouldn’t be thinking of him that way.
Tamsin waved goodbye to the security guard who was half asleep at his desk, and exited through the revolving glass doors of the building. Her car was parked in a street nearby and Tamsin walked to it. It was dark by now, and only the street lamps lit her path.
She could hear the clicking of her heels as she walked, and started fumbling in her bag for her car keys when she thought she saw a shadow behind her.
She whipped around and barely had time to scream. His hand was on her mouth and he pushed her against the car.
“Where have you been?” Adam growled, as she tried to push him off her. His hand was searing through the flesh around her mouth, he was holding her down so violently. She could feel the sharp metal of the door handle digging into her back as he held her there. Her first thoughts went to her baby. She didn’t want anything to happen to it.
“I’ve been calling and texting. Where the fuck have you been?” he growled again, and Tamsin struggled against him more. How had this happened? She hadn’t expected things to get this out of control. She didn’t know Adam properly, of course. She’d met him at a bar months ago and drunkenly fallen in bed with him. She was trying to scream, and tried to scratch his face with her nails, but he pinned her down.
“You’re coming with me,” he said, right in her ear. Then she felt the grip of his hand loosen and could finally scream loudly. But she didn’t need to, Adam was falling away from her, backward. She could barely see in the dark, but it looked like some force was pulling him away from her.
She clutched at the tear in her blouse tightly as the darkness cleared. Somebody had grabbed Adam by the neck and shoved him to the ground. She heard the spine-chilling sound of his skull hitting the cement pavement. Then she heard a voice.
“Stay away from her.” Crosby’s voice was unmistakable as he pulled Adam up by the collar again. Adam had a thin stream of blood gushing down his forehead where the pavement had cut his skin. He was gritting his teeth and trying to throw punches at Crosby, who held him by his collar at arm’s length.
“Who is this asshole?” Crosby turned to Tamsin, who was cowering near her car.
“His name is Adam,” she blurted out, shaking in her shoes.
“Who is he? How do you know him?” he thundered.
“She’s my girlfriend,” Adam growled, trying to look at her, but Crosby held him in place. He couldn’t move.
“He’s crazy. I only met him once. He’s been stalking me ever since,” Tamsin wailed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.
“She’s my girlfriend,” Adam screamed again, and this time Crosby brought him closer to his face. He was glaring into Adam’s eyes, rage boiling out of his ears.
“If you ever try and talk to her again, if you ever even come close to her, I’ll kill you.” Crosby let go of his collar suddenly and Adam fell to the ground. “Get out of here before I call the police,” Crosby thundered, and it didn’t take long for Adam to get up and run away.
Tamsin collapsed on the ground next to the car.
“Are you alright? Your clothes are torn.” Crosby rushed towards her. His voice had changed, it was much softer now.
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” Tamsin mumbled. Crosby pulled her up into his arms. His touch was warm and protective. She rested her hands on his shoulders, needing to be oriented before she could stand properly.
“What if he comes back? What if he…” She was crying now, and he gently pushed her head to his shoulder and stroked her hair.
“He won’t. And if he does, if he so much as texts you, you call me, okay?” His voice was still gentle. He was still stroking her hair and tightened his arms around her. She could feel her body shaking, but with the force of his arms, she was beginning to relax. This was the father of her child, although he didn’t know it.
“C’mon, let’s get into the car. You need to sit down,” Crosby said, and he pulled the car door open with one hand.
She sniffled, shivered and climbed into the car. Crosby shut the door, walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.
“Tamsin. He’s gone. I’m here, you need to relax.” Crosby closed the door. They were sitting in the darkness of the car together. She was still breathing hard, even though the shock of the experience was slowly wearing off.
“I can’t believe that just happened. And it’s all my fault,” she said, more to herself than to him. Her hand was on her belly, it had gone there subconsciously. She wished she could feel it, feel that the baby was okay.
“How is it your fault? He’s not right in the head, clearly.”
“It’s my fault because I got drunk and slept with him and gave him my number. That was so stupid. Stupid.” Tamsin hit the dashboard with her hands and felt tears roll down her cheeks again. Crosby was quiet, letting her vent. “Who knows what he would have done if you weren’t here. If you hadn’t shown up, what might have happened to my….” Tamsin finally turned to him and looked into his eyes, allowing her voice to trail off. She had stopped herself just in time.
Crosby looked worried. His face was crestfallen, and he was clearly concerned for her. Again, she was seeing a side of him that she had never known existed. Perhaps nobody else knew it existed.
“Happened to your…what?” he asked, and she saw his eyes fall on her hand, which was still placed on her belly.
“Why did you show up?” she asked, looking at him.
“I found out where you worked, and I was waiting for you to leave. Probably just like that asshole,” he said, and she noticed how his eyes flickered. He looked like he was embarrassed, or at least shy to admit he had been waiting for her.
“Why? After all these days,” she blurted out before she could stop herself. “Why were you waiting for me?”
“I wanted to see you again and apologize. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” he said quietly. Tamsin looked away from him. She didn’t need another reminder of her bad decisions.
“You don’t need to apologize. You were doing what you wanted. I was doing something stupid. As always,” she said, biting down on her quivering lip.
“You weren’t stupid with me, Tamsin. There was a real connection there. I felt it,” he said. She turned to look at him. What was he talking about? Was this one of his games? What would he say if she told him the consequences of their actions?
“I can see you don’t believe me. And why should you? But what started off as a ruse to get you into bed turned into something different. At least for me. Those things I told you about my childhood, about my father who I never talk about... I felt like I was talking to a friend. I’ve never told those things to anyone. We had just met, but I could trust you.” Crosby looked her in the eye as he spoke, and Tamsin wanted to look away. It wasn’t the same expression that had been in his eyes that evening at his house. He wasn’t in a daze, he didn’t have an excited glint in his expression. He was being serious.
“Is there something else that you want?” she asked him, trying to keep her thoughts civil. She shouldn’t be letting her feelings run amok again. They had already got her into more trouble than she could handle.
“Nothing other than a proper date. One date, at a public place with our clothes on,” Crosby said. Despite herself, Tamsin laughed. He was smiling too. The air was easier now and she could breathe better.
“So you’re asking me out?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re more than just a conquest. I want to get to know you.”
“What about all your other supermodel girlfriends?” Tamsin asked, raising her eyebrows at him.
“Clearly I need to change my game plan. I haven’t found a soulmate among them. Yet with you, I could sit here and talk for hours.” Crosby reached for her lips, and traced her skin with his fingers. Tamsin closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. She wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel his lips on her skin, the clenching of his muscles underneath her fingertips. She wanted to run her hands through his hair. Tamsin’s neck craned as Crosby traced her throat with his finger.
“Stop!” she shrieked in an attempt to snap herself out of it. Crosby pulled his finger away as if burnt.
“What?”
“I need to tell you something. I need to be honest with you,” she said, inching away from him. This was going to be very difficult, to keep her wits about her when she was so close to him.
“What is it?” he asked, and sat back in the seat.
“That evening. When we…when I was at your house. I…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, and she looked away from him. Crosby was silent. What was he thinking? When Tamsin looked back at him, she caught him staring at her hand on her belly.
“Tamsin, are you pregnant?”
They looked at each other silently, and then she nodded.
“Mine?”
“There has been nobody else since and at least for months before you. Ever since that night with Adam, six months ago, I had been keeping myself away from men,” she said. Her voice was quivering, and she watched as he moved towards her. Instead of anger, doubt or mistrust, which she expected to find, Crosby placed a gentle hand on her knee and looked into her eyes.
“Well, I’m glad I was here then. I wouldn’t have wanted anything to happen to my kid,” he said. She could see a smile beginning to spread across his face.
“You’re not upset about this?” she asked him, and Crosby laughed.
“Upset? No. Surprised? Yes. It wasn’t in my plans, but you weren’t either.”
“We don’t know each other at all. I’m sure you don’t even remember my last name,” Tamsin said, her shoulders and muscles relaxing now. His attitude and the smile on his face had put her at ease.
“It’s Clarkson. And so what if we don’t know each other? Doesn’t mean we can’t have a baby together. We’re already going on a date. I already admitted that I can’t get you out of my head. Maybe it’s meant to be.” Crosby inched closer to her and Tamsin sighed.
“You didn’t look like a guy who believes in destiny,” she said, dropping her eyes to her lap. Crosby Jones was playing his magic on her, again.
“It’s not destiny, it’s just you,” he said, and touched her cheek with the backs of his fingers. Tamsin closed her eyes and smiled.
“So it’s decided then, a date with clothes on and…” But before she could finish, he interrupted her.
“And the following ones don’t need a dress code,” he said, and within seconds, he was kissing her and making her forget where she was.
*****
THE END