Chapter 9 - Vivian

I watched as Mason played with Sally, a neighbor girl. Lainie had introduced me to Sally’s mother, Rachel. She was a single mom too, and we were on the way to becoming fast friends. The kids were watching a popular movie and acting out the scenes in the way that children do, with no inhibitions or fear. It was all about creativity and fun at their age of five, and it made me jealous.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and pulled it out to look at the screen. It was Carter.

I sipped the coffee that Rachel had fixed for us and glanced over to see her get up to help the kids with something. I read his message. He wanted me to take a two-day trip to LA with him. Tomorrow.

My mouth dropped open. Was he insane? I had a son and a life to handle. I ignored the text and smiled as Rachel came back over, making some small talk. We talked about school and some of the upcoming events in the neighborhood but I couldn’t help but think about Carter’s text and wonder what he wanted from me. He played the visit to LA off as a business trip, but I knew what we were doing at the office. I knew that I was a few beats shy of giving in and jumping him, both with my body and my heart.

The feelings were still there.

That was what scared me the most. I let the kids finish the movie and then walked back home with Mason to do the usual bedtime routine. That was when I saw someone walking up to the steps at the same time. It was Carter and he looked like he was in a bad mood. He climbed the short staircase and approached the door.

“I want some hot chocolate, Mommy,” Mason said sleepily, spoiled by the treats he enjoyed with Sally.

Carter turned his head and spotted us. My heart jumped to my throat. This was the moment that I never wanted to happen and now I couldn’t avoid it. “It’s too late, bub. You need to go to bed.”

Carter strode towards me, searching my face before he looked down at Mason. I froze as he looked him over, confusion in his eyes. “Vivian?”

“What are you doing here?” I asked. I walked towards the door to get us inside. Carter followed and I pushed down the anxiety rising in my chest as I walked to the stairs. I would just tell Mason to get inside the apartment and talk to Carter in the hallway. I didn’t need him seeing any more of his son than he already had.

“I need to talk to you about the trip,” he said as he cleared his throat. I unlocked my door and told Mason that I would be inside in a few minutes. I closed my front door and turned to face Carter. “I need to know your answer.”

“You only just asked me. I’d appreciate some more time to think about it. I can’t just leave, I have things to arrange, Carter.” I felt my voice rising as he glanced at the door again.

“He’s your son?” Carter asked. I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest. “Look, this is a critical trip, Vivian. I only found out about it recently myself and I’ll need your company. All expenses paid.”

I didn’t have much of a choice. I knew that this was my job on the line. A job that was providing for Mason and our life together.

“Fine. I’ll make arrangements. Are we leaving the office?” I asked in a low voice as he looked at me with a wary gaze.

“The limo to get you to the airport will pick you up at seven.” At seven? Well, hell. This was the last time that this would be happening.

“There’s one more thing, Vivian.”

“What?” I asked as he smirked at me.

“I’ve been told to get a more family-friendly vibe to my business, you know, now I’m getting older and all.” I stared at him accusingly, wondering where he was going with this. “You’re going as more than my PA. You’ll be attending as my fiancée who assists me in the firm. We’re getting married in three months so act like it.”

“Your…what?” I barked out. This was ten kinds of wrong and I knew that things were getting really risky now. But it was my job. I didn’t know if he was vindictive enough to fire me for not going along with his plans.

I would do this, for now.

“Fiancée. I have a ring for you to wear that I’ll give you tomorrow.” He looked at the door again.

“Fine. I’ll be ready.” I felt numb inside at the idea of faking it with him.

“I’ll see you at the airport.” Carter gave me a long look and then glanced around the hallway before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. I was too shocked to do anything as he walked away.

I heard a door open on the other end of the hallway. “Viv?” It was Lainie, staring at my heated face as I blinked slowly. “Are you alright?”

“Yes…sort of.” I quickly told her that I needed her to take care of Mason for the next couple of days and nights, and she agreed, all the while giving me questioning looks. We went into my apartment, explaining to Mason that he’d be staying with Lainie because I needed to go on a work trip. I had never left him for more than an evening, and I hated having to leave him now. But this was for the job that was putting food on the table. I’d tell Carter exactly where to stick it once we were alone. Lainie dragged me out to the living room as Mason got some things ready.

“Explain now,” she demanded, looking down the hallway to make sure that Mason was out of earshot.

“Oh, boy. So, that’s my boss. I was originally going to interview with another manager but he needed a PA and here I am,” I licked my lips. “He’s also my ex from Vermont and is trying to get things going again.” Her eyes widened as she looked down the hallway again. I lowered my voice and leaned forward. “He’s Mason’s dad and doesn’t know it.”

“Holy shit,” she breathed. “Did you know that you’d see him again?”

“I knew that I was interviewing with his company but had no idea that it would be with him. I looked into it extensively when I heard about the job and I thought that I was safe. So now I’m in this job that is otherwise amazing for Mase and me but I have to work with…him.” I shrugged. “He’s taking it to the extreme and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose my job.”

“How about giving it a second chance?” Her words were soft and I shot her a scared glance. “He’s hot and he seems…caring?”

“That’s a lot to consider. I can’t just throw Mason’s world off, and besides, I have no idea whether Carter even wants to be a dad. It’s been so long,” I whispered as Mason walked into the room with his backpack and an additional duffel bag. Tears filled my eyes as I walked over to hug him. “I’m going to miss you, Mase. So much. I love you.”

“I love you, Mommy.” His voice was so sweet and solemn and I felt my heart turn into hot goo.

“Be good to Lainie, okay?” I faked a bright smile and he nodded. I walked them to the door and hugged him again before thanking Lainie for watching him.

I locked the door and leaned against it as I took a deep breath. My apartment was empty and my heart felt empty right now. I wanted to call Mason back and take him to Lainie’s house in the morning, but I still needed to pack and catch a plane tomorrow.

That little boy had been with me for the last five years, and inside of my stomach before that. This was going to be damn near impossible. I took a deep breath, blinking back the tears that I felt coming again. I walked into my small bedroom to change into some pajamas before I started to pack for the trip.

Business trip…for real this time. I assumed that there would be events and meals and maybe also some downtime, so I needed to bring different types of clothing. I grabbed a couple of casual dresses and some more professional ones. I also packed some jeans and a couple of t-shirts, as well as some shorts and shirts to sleep in. Most of the clothes were second-hand; I had purchased them when I started looking for work. I decided to pack my toiletries in the morning and settled in my lonely bed in my quiet room with my Kindle to catch up on some reading.

Screw Carter. I had agreed to go on this trip with him, but I’d draw the line from now on. I couldn’t afford to lose my job, but if he wouldn’t listen to me, I needed to look for other options. I picked the same steamy book from before but got annoyed half a page in, because I was placing Carter in the place of the book boyfriend and got aroused. I reminded myself that I needed to hate him, not want him. The effect that this man still had on me was unreal.

I dropped the Kindle to the mattress and stared at the clock. Mason would be asleep by now. I needed to get a few hours of sleep too.

Ugh. I needed to address the situation between Carter and me before it got any worse.