Chapter Seventeen

It was still early in the day, but with only six days to go until Christmas, preparations at the hotel were well underway. All the staff ran around frantically, doing multiple tasks, and all the main rooms were being prepared, cleaned and decorated. Jess seemed to have the longest list of all and she began ticking each job off, one at a time. The Christmas tree was to be removed from the grand hall – being real it had soon lost its perfection and a new and pristine one was to be put in its place. Jack and Len were already getting on with it. The old tree was too big to remove in one piece and therefore had to be cut up and taken out, all with as little disruption to the guests as possible. However, the new tree was much easier to erect and could easily be brought in through the patio doors. It was still wrapped up tightly in netting and while that was still in place, it could be positioned before the netting was removed. The tree could then be dressed, with everyone getting involved, before the first guests came down for dinner.

Once that was done, the dance floor needed to be constructed, the disco confirmed, and the food, balloons, streamers and crackers were all to be collected from the supplier, along with the miniature wicker baskets. Every guest staying on Christmas Eve would receive a small wicker hamper, each filled with goodies, and placed in the bedrooms as a surprise to welcome them on their arrival. All the baskets still needed putting together and Jess had wondered if she might enrol Bastion to help with the task. Everything just had to be ready, everything had to be perfect and it all had to happen on time. The guests were paying a lot of money to be there and they were all entitled to total perfection.

Her thoughts turned to Christmas Day. Dinner would be served promptly at one o’clock, preceded by champagne, an array of cocktails and the most sumptuous aperitifs. It was up to the whole team to ensure that everyone enjoyed every minute of their Christmas, but ultimately it was up to Head Chef Bernie, Nomsa and the kitchen staff to provide the best food possible.

‘Jess, did you phone the disco man to check the booking and make sure he gets here early on Christmas Eve to set up? Christmas Day will be far too busy and we really don’t need the disruption of him having the doors open, letting all the warm air out.’ Madeleine flicked through the diary. ‘I want him in the corner of the library, and a string of balloons hung from the ceiling and the same on New Year’s Eve, just like last year.’

Jess smiled. Maddie was the most organised person she knew and never ceased to amaze her. She’d been a bestselling author before coming to the hotel. She’d written to earn money while Poppy was a baby, but the writing had had to stop as soon as she’d inherited the Hall. Running Wrea Head Hall took all of her time and she’d had to learn a whole new profession within weeks of her arrival. Her whole life had changed yet, without hesitation, and with the help of Jack and the management team, she’d blossomed in the role of running the hotel. She did everything as her father had, ensured that the guests came first and, above all else, she did it all with an air of professionalism that Jess truly admired. But today Madeleine looked tired and flustered. It was as though there were too many things on her tick list and she picked up one piece of paper from the desk after the other.

‘Maddie, when you say the disco man, do you mean the DJ?’ Jess walked towards her, smiling, and watched as Madeleine juggled three jobs at once.

‘That’s Mr and Mrs Kent booked into Room Nineteen on the twenty-ninth, tick. I’ve ordered room service for Room Two, tick, and the lady, Mrs Bramfoot, in the Ellis Suite would like an iron and an ironing board, which Nomsa is about to take up. Tick tickety tick.’ Madeleine paused and looked up from the desk, caught her sister’s eye and burst out laughing. ‘Yes, of course. He’s called a DJ. Now can you be a love and call him, check he’s still turning up and at what time? And let Len know that I’ve put him in charge of making sure the dance floor is constructed properly. I can’t risk people tripping on it, especially during the conga.’ She turned back to the computer and tapped on the keyboard. ‘Oh, and check the DJ man’s fee, make sure he isn’t going to charge too much. I think last year, let me see, yes, last year he charged three hundred for Christmas Day, and the same for New Year’s Eve. If he wants much more than that, haggle.’

Jess put her clipboard down and glanced into the main hall where she watched both Jack and Len now moving settees, tables and chairs into more suitable positions, all in readiness for removing the old tree.

Jack stood upright, his hand going to wipe his brow, and their eyes connected. He raised a hand and gave her a smile. He then awkwardly put his hand in his pocket, took in a deep breath and looked unsure of what to do next. He wasn’t good at keeping secrets and normally blurted things out the first moment he could. But for just a few days, knowledge of the baby would stay between them and she held a finger to her lips and smiled, making Jack do the same.

She looked back at where Maddie sat. She normally told Maddie everything and it was killing her not to tell her about the pregnancy, but she’d promised Jack and in her book a promise was a promise. Besides, there were other things going on at the Hall. She’d only just come to terms with the fact that she might have a father, who was slowly regaining his strength after his mild bout of pneumonia. Over the past few days Jess had spent as much time with him as she could, but Christmas was the busiest time at the Hall and there was much work to do, so they’d only had the chance to have brief snatches of conversation that lasted just minutes at a time. Most of the conversations had taken place in the kitchen, where he seemed to spend most of his time with Nomsa, and it seemed to Jess the two were fast becoming inseparable. She’d bought a DNA test online and had sat for over an hour that morning just looking at the box, wondering how and when she’d approach Bastion with it. Half of her wanted to run to him immediately, to get to the truth and find out if he really was her father, but deep down the other half of her was terrified, just in case he wasn’t.

‘It’s all going to be all right, I promise,’ she whispered as she rested a hand on her stomach. She looked up and noticed that Jack had been watching and once again she lifted a finger to her lips, before turning her attention to the room keys, which she systematically hung in order. She then picked up one of Maddie’s to do lists and began ticking off things that had already been done. ‘Right, looks like Jack and Len have got the Christmas tree organised. So, I’m now going to go and ring the disco man.’

Madeleine took the list out of Jess’s hands and passed a different list to her. ‘Here, sorry, I made a new list.’

‘Why am I not surprised?’ Jess said with a laugh, looking down the new list.

‘You okay?’ Madeleine asked. ‘You seem distracted.’

She had to look busy, had to keep working, had to think of a reason that would stop Madeleine asking questions. ‘Oh, I don’t know, Maddie … okay, yes I do know. It’s the DNA kit. It came and I don’t know what to do.’

‘Hey, I thought we’d spoken about this, Jess. You don’t have a choice. You have to do the test, and you have to do it sooner rather than later. Before you get too attached to them both … you know, just in case.’

Jess looked down at the floor. ‘Just in case he isn’t my father?’ she questioned as she raised an eyebrow. ‘I know you’re right, Maddie. You always are. But … I really, really want him to be. And what do I say to him? Here’s the kit, now take this swab and if you don’t mind could you go and rub it around your mouth because I need you to prove you really are my father and not some random black guy who’s taken up residence in a nice hotel for the Christmas festivities?’ She tried to laugh, tried to pretend that everything was okay, but it wasn’t and she knew that Madeleine would keep pushing until the test was done.

‘I’d say yes, that’s kind of what you do. Besides it’s not like he isn’t expecting it, is it? You did have this conversation with him at the hospital, didn’t you?’

Jess nodded, but tried to avoid eye contact. Her normal bubbly personality had disappeared and she could feel herself begin to shake. ‘But, what … what if he isn’t, Maddie? What if he isn’t my father? What do we do, throw them both out? They’ve got nowhere to go.’

Madeleine looked her up and down. ‘Jess, you have to get a grip on this. If he isn’t your father, then he isn’t your problem and he certainly isn’t mine. Now, yes, I agree it’s Christmas, the hotels are full and not even I would throw them out, not if they have nowhere to go.’ Again she tapped on the keyboard. ‘But there is a limit to what we can do. He’s a grown up, he has to take responsibility for himself. I mean, the council, surely they’d do something for them, especially as he has Lily, they’d be sure to push him to the top of the “needy” list.’

Jess nodded again while staring at Jack in the grand hall. If only she could tell Maddie about the pregnancy. She knew exactly how Maddie would react. She’d bounce around, kiss her a lot and she’d want to celebrate the new life of her first niece or nephew. She’d want to arrange a family dinner to tell everyone else and she’d want to go shopping for baby clothes. Jess sighed, knowing that all of that had to wait. She’d promised Jack and so she would have to hold on to her secret for a little while longer.

‘Jess?’ Madeleine looked up at her. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me?’

‘No, no, I’m fine,’ she lied. ‘I’m just feeling a bit lost today. I … I was cleaning out Emily’s room yesterday. It took its toll on me, all the memories of that day, they all came back.’ She hadn’t known what else to say.

Madeleine’s hand reached out and landed gently on her shoulder. ‘Oh, Jess, that must have been hard on you. Why didn’t you tell me what you were doing? I’d have helped you. We could have done it together.’

Jess shook her head. ‘I promised Emily that I’d do it. It was the last promise I made to her and, anyhow, Jack helped me.’ She paused. ‘Emily had written some letters, you know, before …’ Jess announced, making Madeleine jump up from her seat and pull Jess into a hug.

‘Letters … really? Oh, Jess … I mean … what do they say?’ Madeleine stood back and looked directly into Jess’s eyes.

‘There were four. One addressed to you, one for Jack, one for Arthur, which you’ll have to read to him, and one for me.’ She took the letters out of her pocket and passed Maddie the envelope. ‘This is the letter she left for you.’

Madeleine’s hand went to her chest and rested on her heart. ‘Oh, Jess.’ She turned away and sat back down at the desk. ‘This makes me really sad.’ She looked down at the keyboard. ‘Do you think that she knew … you know … that she was dying, and that she wouldn’t be here … for Christmas?’

‘I don’t know. But she obviously wanted us to open them after she’d gone, and not before. She must have had a reason.’ Jess looked back into the grand hall, where Jack and Len were wrestling with what was left of the tree in a comical Laurel and Hardy style, making her laugh out loud.

Her whole insides ached with longing; all she wanted was to walk up to Jack, hold him and kiss him. But that wouldn’t be allowed, not down here. There was a protocol to be followed in front of the guests and Jess let out a deep breath.

‘Well, are you going to open it?’ Jess sat down and watched as Madeleine hesitated before she tore open the envelope.

‘Maddie, my beautiful girl,’ Madeleine read out loud. ‘Oh, bless her.’ She looked up at Jess before continuing.

‘I am writing this letter to you because I know you’ll share all the details with my grandson, Christopher, or Bandit as you all now call him. I also know that men are not much for the written word, so I’m hoping that you will kiss him goodbye for me and tell him how much I loved him.

I’m also grateful to you. You have no idea how much coming back to the Hall meant to me and you opened your home to me without a second thought. I feel at peace in the knowledge that I spent my last days here and that my Arthur will be well looked after during his final years, although according to the doctors, it’s doubtful that he has long to go on this earth either. I hope that you see fit that one day we will be buried together. Just as we should be.

Now that I’m gone, I’d like to bequeath to you my diaries. The ones that you know of and the ones that you don’t. There are still diaries hidden, just look where the dust motes hover. They are yours and all that is within them is yours too. I’m hoping that you might start to write again. I’d be delighted to think that you might finally tell the world the story of my life, tell of how my father ruled us, how he and my mother lived very separate lives and, most of all, I want you to bring this house back to life. For far too many years it’s been the house of secrets. One too many secrets if you ask me and I want them to end, they bring no joy to anyone. There are some secrets that I’ve held onto for most of my life and there are one or two I wish I hadn’t kept, but I did so to protect others, to stop them from being hurt, when, in actual fact, I should never have had to do so.

The only thing that kept me going throughout all the years was the love I had for both my Eddie and for my son Arthur.’ Maddie paused, and wiped her eyes. ‘There is a final secret still to be told, again one that I’ve held for far too long. All will become apparent, my dear girl. All is told within the diaries and all will make sense once you find and read them.

Yours, Emily x’

Excitement flooded Madeleine’s face as she looked up from the letter. ‘Oh, Jess. Where do you think they’ll be? I mean, you must know where she hid them?’ She put the letter down and watched as Jess picked it up and shrugged.

‘Don’t ask me, I have no idea. But isn’t it typical of Emily to leave us with a little intrigue?’ She passed the letter back to Madeleine. ‘So, are you going to do it? Are you going to look for the diaries and write the book?’

Madeleine stared at the letter. ‘I don’t know. I mean, where would I start?’

‘First you have to find the diaries. She can’t have hidden them anywhere obvious or we’d have already found them during the refurb and she must be pretty sure they hadn’t been damaged in the fire. What does she say? “Look where the dust motes hover.” So I guess somewhere we don’t go very often, somewhere within this house or in the cottage. Somewhere that no one goes on a daily or weekly basis.’

‘Do you think they’ve always been there?’ Madeleine looked puzzled.

‘I don’t know, but I don’t think she’s hidden them anywhere too difficult to find. She must have been confident you’d work it out.’

Jess stood up and kissed Madeleine on the cheek. ‘I’ll help you look later, but right now, do you mind if I take a break, Maddie? I think you have a lot to think about and me, I need to catch up with Bastion. I’m going to pop to the kitchen, see if he’s there, and make a drink. Do you want something bringing back with me? Tea, coffee, carrot cake?’

Madeleine was still staring at the letter and shook her head, leaving Jess to take one look back into the grand hall before leaving reception. She walked through the back connecting passage that led to the kitchen, where both Nomsa and Bastion were perched at either side of the kitchen table. Their heads were close together, their eyes were locked, and Jess was sure their hands had been momentarily linked, making her literally stop in her tracks in order to watch them more closely. There was an exchange of whispers, smiles and giggles, which made Jess unsure what to do. Should she carry on regardless and enter the kitchen or was she about to disturb something she shouldn’t? She was wondering whether the moment that Nomsa and Bastion were sharing was as obvious as it had looked, but then Bastion leaned in closer and, taking his hand to cup Nomsa’s chin, he gently grazed her lips with his. Jess held her breath and glanced back towards reception. Should she reverse, disappear back where she’d come from and give both Nomsa and her father time to finish whatever it was they’d started? But one step on a creaking floorboard meant that the spell was broken. Nomsa looked up and, although she’d hesitated, Jess continued to walk forward.

‘Ahhhh, there you both are,’ Jess said as Nomsa jumped up like a naughty child, picked up a tea towel, turned her back on where Bastion sat and began drying the mugs that stood on the draining board. Jess continued to look between them both, and even though Nomsa had turned away, she could tell that both were smiling from ear to ear, and both seemed to be blushing. ‘Okay, what’s going on?’ she blurted out, before sitting herself at the table. She picked a banana from the bowl, peeled the skin back and began to eat.

‘You want coffee, or tea?’ Nomsa asked. It was obvious she was ignoring Jess’s question as she picked up the kettle, gave it a shake and then filled it with water from the tap, before placing it on the Aga to boil. ‘And a banana, my girl, is not a substantial breakfast. Not unless you eat it with some nice yoghurt or something.’

Bastion chuckled. ‘I’m glad it’s not just me that she nags.’ He picked his mug up and took a sip.

‘Away with you,’ Nomsa said as she flicked the tea towel at him. ‘You know it’s for your own good. I want you fighting fit and back on your feet by the time Christmas gets here. Now finish drinking your tea and I’ll make you a fresh mug along with a nice bacon sandwich for your breakfast.’ Nomsa gave Bastion a smile and Jess noted that it wasn’t the same sort of smile that she’d give to everyone else, but a smile that lit up her whole face, making her eyes sparkle with happiness. ‘And then,’ she continued, ‘if you put a warm coat on, you could go and sit out on the patio. Get you some fresh air.’ Nomsa gently patted Bastion on the shoulder. It was a loving gesture and Jess smiled in the knowledge that there was the same look in both their eyes. ‘I might even join you out there for a moment or two now I’ve finished with the guests’ breakfasts.’

Jess waved what was left of the banana in the air. She wanted to speak to Bastion about the DNA test, but her mind was now full of wondering what was happening between Nomsa and her father. ‘Hey … what were …’ She hadn’t got an answer to her earlier question and was going to ask them if they’d like to fill her in, but she stopped mid-sentence. They were both adults and if they were happy, then who were they hurting? ‘Okay, Nomsa, in answer to your question, I’d like some tea, please.’ She sighed. What she really wanted was coffee, strong coffee, but early in the morning the smell made her want to heave and she couldn’t risk that happening, not in front of Nomsa or her father. Instead, she sat watching how the dynamics in the kitchen had changed. Nomsa, who normally ruled the roost and force fed everyone who came near, had suddenly turned into a coy figure of a woman and she was hanging on every word that Bastion said.

Jess really wanted to ask more questions, but didn’t feel she knew Bastion well enough to dig any further and decided to wait until Nomsa was alone. ‘It’s quiet in here, where are the girls?’ she asked as she stretched up to look out of the window.

‘Oh, they were both up bright and early, and seeing as it’s a nice day, they’ve taken themselves outside in the garden. They’ve been playing hide and seek for the past hour. It’s Poppy’s favourite game at the moment, she can’t play it enough. She even makes Buddy join in, but him being a dog means that he barks and gives her away more often than helping her hide. Look, they’re over by the trees.’ Nomsa pointed into the grounds to the edge of the treeline. Poppy knew not to enter the woods, not to go out of sight, which made Jess smile as she wondered how on earth the four-year-old managed to play hide and seek without actually hiding.

Nomsa picked up the teapot and poured the tea. ‘Now then, I was just going to make Bastion a nice hot, fried bacon sandwich to eat before he goes out in the garden. Would you like one too?’

Jess began to think about the bacon, about the grease, the sauce and the stodgy bread. ‘Excuse me, I … I have to go,’ she said as she stood up from the table, held a napkin to her mouth and practically ran from the room, while carefully clutching her mug of tea as though her life depended on her not spilling it.