Chapter Twenty-Nine

‘Griff, come on, I’m cold and what’s more I don’t like these clothes, they itch like hell and they’re too fucking big. Hanging off me they are. Look.’ She pulled at the oversized wool skirt and jacket that Griff had bought from the charity shop and pulled a face in his direction. ‘God knows who wore them before me, they’ve never heard of fabric softener, that’s for sure.’

‘Shut up, Annie. You’re doing my head in and I’m trying to sleep. And stop talking bollocks. When have you ever used bloody fabric softener?’ He lay back in his seat with his eyes closed, while the rain battered the rusty old van. It sounded like a million drummers all tapping all at once, and Annie wondered how on earth he could even think about sleep during such an onslaught.

‘I don’t think tonight is a good night, Griff. I can’t grab her in there. There’s far too many people about.’ Annie fidgeted with her skirt. Her head was bowed and each time someone ran past with umbrella in hand, she made an attempt to hide her face with her hands. They were parked right next to the hotel, where anyone who passed could see them, and she was feeling more than nervous. ‘Griff, can’t we move the van? What if Bastion comes outside? What if he sees me?’

Griff sighed. ‘Annie, if you hadn’t noticed, there’s a goddamned storm going on out there, so why the hell would he come outside?’ He moved around in his seat, kicked his boots off and put his feet up on the dashboard to show his moth-holed socks. ‘Anyhow. It’s not all about what you want, Annie, is it? It’s about what you owe me, what’s rightfully mine, and what you’ve gotta do to put that right. Have you got that?’ he growled as he pushed his feet harder against the dash making it creak. ‘And I don’t give a shit if you’re cold or not, we … we are going to sit here all fucking night if we have to, so why don’t you get your arse in that hotel and get her?’

Annie began to tremble. She wasn’t sure whether the trembling was with the cold or with nerves and once again she leaned forward to look at the front door of the hotel, where a group of young children were all running in, hand in hand with parents and siblings. She moved uncomfortably in her seat, knowing that Griff wouldn’t give her much more time to make her move, but she still wasn’t sure that their plan would work. Could she really walk in there, dressed like this, dressed in a suit, pretending to be just one of the other children’s mothers? Was this how a mother dressed? She shook her head as she took note of the other women who were entering the hall. Most looked as though they wore jeans, and big coats, with scarves, hats and gloves, and without exception, none wore two piece woollen suits.

‘Look at them, Griff, they’re not dressed like this … and if I go out there, I’m gonna stand out a fucking mile. Besides I’ll get wet, won’t I?’

Griff leaned across to her and stared into her eyes and for a moment Annie thought he’d softened, that he was about to kiss her, but then she saw the flash of his flick knife as he held it up in the air. ‘Get out of the fucking van and go get the fucking kid, and do it now!’ he screamed and Annie scrambled to throw the door open. She had to get away from the blade and she jumped out of the van and into the pouring rain.

For a moment Annie just stood, the rain coming down in torrents, and within seconds both the wool suit and her hair were soaked. Her blouse clung to her skin and her lack of underwear became very apparent, very quickly. She took a step towards the hotel and looked up at the big oak door. It was closed and she began to wish that she’d jumped out of the van earlier while the others were going in. At least then she’d have had the opportunity to enter the hall with the other children and their parents. She placed a hand on the door, but then looked to her left, to where the tall stone mullion window stood. Through it she could see the Christmas tree, which stood sparkling in the corner of the room. It was a big tree but small in comparison to the one that stood behind her in the garden. Annie looked over to it as the rain trickled down her face. The tree that stood in the garden was at least thirty feet high with what looked to be a million sparkling lights and, for just a few seconds, Annie stared at it through the rain and thought of all the Christmases she’d missed with Lily. How if she’d been a real mother to her, they’d be looking forward to this Christmas together, and how she too might have had a Christmas tree to sit by, a real fire and all the Christmas fayre, and most of all, she thought of how many of those days she’d have got to share with Bastion.

Annie turned back towards the house and stood on her tiptoes to look in through the stone windows, to where the children all stood in a group, dressed in a red and grey uniform. Right beside them, sitting on a red and gold settee, was her Lily, who was singing along with the songs, a huge smile on her face and with Bastion and the other little girl sitting beside her. The whole scene was a picture of innocence, of happiness and a perfect Christmas. She looked back at the door and shook her head. There was no way she could walk in there and take Lily. Bastion would never allow it. She tiptoed around the building looking for another way in, another way of getting to Lily without being seen. Maybe if she could find a way in she could hide, wait for an opportunity to arise to snatch Lily, and at least she would be somewhere dry and out of the rain. She found herself looking in through a kitchen window, at a dark skinned, rotund woman who was hugging another. The other woman was a grown up duplicate of Lily and Annie knew immediately that this girl was the daughter that Bastion had never spoken of, and the reason he’d come here with Lily.

‘Okay, I’ve got it. Well, at least he isn’t in the hospital, that’s good news, isn’t it?’ The sound of a man’s voice came from behind her and Annie quickly ducked behind a large rubbish bin, where she crouched down with her eyes closed and held her breath until he’d walked past and entered the Hall by a back door. She sat behind the bin, on the floor in the mud, not caring how wet or dirty she became. After all being in the gutter was what she’d become used to; being socially unacceptable was normal to her and living in fear was a fact of life. Today would be no different. She knew that Griff had already flashed the blade and he wouldn’t hesitate to use it, should he decide to. Her eyes went to a greenhouse, to the woods that stood beyond and she wondered how easily she could escape, how far she would get on a cold winter’s night in high heels and a soaked wool suit.

She shook her head knowing that she wouldn’t get far. Besides, what was the point? Somehow she had to get back to London, somehow she had to get back to her stash of drugs and somehow she had to keep Griff sweet until she did.