Chapter 29
Doctors Without Kids
I want to ask him much more about what happened when his dad was drunk, and I want to know more about his brothers, but I decide to take what he has given me for now. Plus, my show’s about to start.
"Okay, enough crying and trying to get a sympathy screw from me,” I tease, lifting the mood. “The Walking Dead is about to start.”
I hear him chuckle softly behind me. "Of course you wouldn't miss the fact that I was trying to get some sympathy sex."
I smile and pick up the remote, but Adrian knocks it out of my hand. “I’ve told you about me, now it’s your turn.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m good.”
This night has gotten too cozy and intimate. I don’t need to see more sweet and caring Adrian. It’s bad for my heart. Well, it’s good for it, which is why it’s bad.
He narrows his eyes. “I’ll disconnect your TV, and I’d place money you have no clue how to hook it back up.”
Damn him. Using my love of zombie shows and lack of technology skills against me. I decide to give him the cliff notes version.
“Fine. My dad left when I was twelve, and I haven’t seen or heard from him in years. My older brother died of a drug overdose when I was fifteen. I have a younger brother Christopher, but I’m not close to him. The end.” I finish my extravagant story with a huge, fake smile.
He watches me, searching my face for something. Finally, he asks his next question.
“What kind of doctor do you want to be?”
He must’ve seen something in my expression that let him know I’m not ready to share with him yet. I kinda love that he didn’t push it either. I kinda hate that he keeps doing things that I love.
“The traveling kind,” I say, answering his question.
He furrows his brow. “I have no idea what that means.”
“I want to join Doctors Without Borders, hopefully right out of med school,” I explain.
Adrian pulls his face back, searching mine again. I guess he thinks I’m joking. “Why?”
I begin my list of reasons. “I don’t like to clean. I’m a danger to myself and others when I try to cook. And, I don’t want kids.” I shrug. “I know I don’t want the typical American family life. I don’t want the house, the picket fence, the kids, or a dog. I would be bored out of my mind if I had a routine, and all that responsibility. That’s why I think the program is perfect for me.”
I’ve known for years that I want to become a doctor, but it wasn’t until a couple years ago, that I discovered this program. The idea of helping the less fortunate, and traveling to new countries, gives me warm, happy feelings.
Adrian blinks a couple times. “Wow, you make me feel like a major slacker. I have no idea what I’m gonna do. Hell, my only goal for the past couple years, has been to piss off my dad.”
“Well dude, you are a slacker,” I tease.
He purses his lips, thinking, then starts with his delusional thinking again. “I’ve never thought about whether I want to have kids, but if you don’t, I’m good with that.”
I sit up. “Don’t do that,” I snap.
“Do what?” he asks, furrowing his brow.
“Talk about us like you’re planning our future.”
At that moment, it was if I’d fallen into a black hole and landed three years ago. Jack had said almost the exact same words to me when I’d told him I didn’t want kids. I think Adrian is joking, hell, I can never tell with him, but regardless, it all felt too real.
He reaches for me, trying to pull me back down to him. “Fine. I’ll wait a couple more weeks before I start discussing those plans with you, but you can’t make me stop planning in my head.”
I don’t say any more. I’m beginning to learn that if I tell Adrian not to do something, he’ll push the topic until I snap. I draw in a long breath, letting it go and allow him to hold me for a bit longer.
***
Adrian
I lie in Keegan’s bed, with her wrapped tight against me, wondering how I’m going to survive this. She’s believed from the beginning that I’m just another guy who sleeps around. I’ve never corrected her because she’s never asked.
The truth is, Katie is only the third girl I’ve ever been with. I had a serious girlfriend in high school, when I had time for her, and a girl I saw on and off, freshman and sophomore year of college. I started hooking up with Katie last year, which is when the rumors began.
Katie lives with four other girls. Someone started the rumor that I was screwing all five of the girls. A couple of the girls tried to deny it, but as rumors go, the story was too juicy to not believe.
I was friends with Katie before we started screwing around, and we both agreed it would just be sex. There has never been more than a physical attraction, but I’ve always respected her.
Now, I’ve found this girl who makes me think of futures, but I can’t tell her how I feel, and I can’t push for more. It’s obvious, Keegan does not trust men, and I understand why. All the previous men in her life have loved her, but they never put her first. I know I love being around her, and I want to take this further, but I’m not sure that it’s love. Even if it is, telling her that would get me nowhere.
For now, I’ll take what I can steal from her, and hope she eventually opens up and considers the option of a relationship.
When I feel Keegan’s breathing even out, I know she’s fallen asleep. There’s a good chance I’ll earn a broken nose for sleeping in her bed all night, but it’ll be worth it. I pull her tighter against me, kissing the top of her head and settle in to steal my first overnight with her.