Chapter 6
Empty Calorie Breakfast
Wednesday Gemma, Robert, and I are eating lunch in the living room, when Adrian busts through the front door and tosses something on the table. I look and see it’s the book I loaned to him. Expecting him to be smiling in pleasure, from all the knowledge he’s gained, I’m surprised to see he looks rather angry.
He points a jabbing finger at the book. “This is bullshit,” he says, shaking his head furiously. “You can’t tell me you think that shit really happens. It’s fiction. You know that right?”
Robert’s cat-like purr causes Adrian to notice him. “Who’s this?”
Robert stands, holding out his hand. “I’m Robert, Keegan’s new boyfriend.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing, and surprisingly, Gemma contains herself too. Adrian eyes Robert from head to toe, trying to decide an appropriate way to respond.
Adrian tilts his head, looking at Robert. “I’m sorry, did you say you have a new boyfriend?”
Robert laughs. “Cute, but no, I don’t have a new boyfriend.” Still holding Adrian’s hand, he squeezes tighter and pulls him closer. “The position is open if you’re interested.”
Adrian yanks his hand from Roberts like it’s on fire. “Nope, no thanks, I’m good.”
Robert continues to stare at him while Adrian continues to divert his eyes.
“What exactly is your issue with the book?” I ask, saving Adrian from my horny new friend.
He trains his gaze on me. “That shit is more mythical than Harry Potter.”
I arch a brow, curious what was so shocking to him. “Please elaborate.”
Adrian eyes Robert again, seeming uncomfortable having this discussion in front of him.
Robert looks down at the book, then back up to Adrian, realizing that Adrian is uncomfortable with his presence.
“I should probably excuse myself,” he says, “but I’m not that polite. Please continue.” He gestures for Adrian to go on as he resumes his seat on the couch.
Adrian huffs out a breath, turning back to me. “Are you gonna tell me, that if a guy is pounding into you from behind, he grabs a fistful of hair and starts pulling then leans down and bites your shoulder, you’re not gonna head butt him?”
I let out a soft moan and I hear Gemma squeak. Robert, who is sitting to my right, starts fanning himself with a piece of paper and mutters, “Damn, it just got hot in here.”
I draw in an exaggerated breath and lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees. I look up at Adrian from under my lashes. “No honey, I would not hit him. As a matter of fact, I would probably tell him to do it harder.”
I see Adrian visibly swallow. “Do what harder, the biting, or the pulling,” another visible swallow, “or the pounding.”
I lean back into the couch, stretching my legs out in front of me. “All of it,” I say, in a breathy whisper.
Now Adrian moans as he reaches down to adjust himself. “Well, you’re different,” he says, looking to Gemma for confirmation.
She glances between all of us, looking uncomfortable. Finally, she fesses up. “It’s not often I agree with Keegan, but.” She nods. “Yeah, that’s really hot.”
Adrian’s face screws up in disbelief.
Robert raises his hand. “I know you didn’t ask me, but I’m siding with the girls.”
Again, Adrian has no idea how to respond to him, so he goes on.
“Okay, here’s another one. He sits her on the kitchen counter, eats her for breakfast, kisses her goodbye, and leaves.” He tugs at his ear, a gesture I’m learning means he’s uncomfortable. “There are so many things wrong with just that one chapter.”
“Mmm, I forgot about that part. That was a great scene,” I mutter. I’m not screwing with him, that was a great scene.
“I’m sure it was for you, but you know what I was thinking?”
“Nope, and I don’t care.” His face is red, and I’m not sure if it’s from arousal or frustration.
“I’ll tell you. Number one,” he begins, ignoring my answer. “No girl wants you to kiss her after you been munchin’ around down there. Number two, and this is what every guy would think when they read that—the poor man got nothin’ but an empty calorie breakfast with a side order of blue balls.”
I shake my head, giving him a disappointed look. “You have much more to learn than I thought.”
This is kinda sad. No wonder women always fake headaches.
“That’s just it,” he says, pacing the room and running his hands through his hair. “When exactly are we supposed to learn these things? I can assure you, that is not part of the sex ed we get from our dads. The most we get is a box of condoms and a warning not to hit the wrong hole.”
This is why older, more experienced guys, are much more desirable. They’ve done their research and put in their clinical hours, so we don’t have to teach them anything.
“I can call up my old boyfriend and ask how he learned if you’d like,” I tease.
Adrian instantly looks pissed, but I’m not sure what part of that statement pissed him off.
I gesture to the chair. “Sit down my young Jedi, and we will share some of our wisdom with you.”
Without hesitation, he drops in the chair, looking as eager as a kid waiting for his slice of cake.
Did he just lick his lips?
“Don’t you want to go get the other boys?” Robert asks. “I mean, if you don’t know this stuff, I’m guessing they don’t either.”
He makes a good point, but it may be too depressing to have three guys discuss their lack of knowledge.
Adrian shakes his head furiously. “No way man, I’m the one with the time and energy into this research, so I’m going to have the corner on the market.”
Robert gives him an appreciative smile. “Smart man. Horrible friend, but smart man.”
Adrian shrugs. “I have my priorities.”
He claps once then gestures for us to get on with it.