Chapter 45
What Else Do You Know
Adrian
When Keegan gets home, I’m pacing the floor of her living room, as Gemma and Robert watch. Her face is red, and her eyes are swollen. It’s obvious, she’s been crying.
"What the fuck did he do to you?" I ask as I reach for her.
"Adrian, you need to go,” she orders, without looking at me.
I can’t leave, not with things where they currently stand. “Go? Where the hell do you want me to go?" The panic in her voice reflects how I’m feeling.
She spins to face me, all her anger and pain directed at me.
Fuck, I should’ve left.
“First,” she says, holding up one finger, “you asked me to trust you. You asked me, over and over again, to trust you. You asked this of me, but never once offered up the fact that you’d had me investigated.”
I cut her off, ignoring the gasps of the others in the room. “I had to. You know my dad. I had to know you before we started something.”
I know my explanation is weak, not conveying the necessity of what I did.
Keegan’s brow almost touches her hairline, as she gapes at me, shocked. “Usually, when you’re interested in someone, you ask them questions to get to know them. You don’t pay some creep to go digging around in their private life.”
Where have I heard that before?
“I’m sorry,” I say, but it sounds as weak as my last statement.
She holds up two fingers, apparently not done with her reasons. “Second, after I finally agree to trust you, I asked you to do the same. I asked you give me a couple hours with Jack, alone, and to trust me. I told you I didn’t want to be with him, that I wanted to be with you, but you followed me anyway.” She draws in a long shaky breath, her emotions consuming her. “You couldn’t do the one thing you’ve been begging of me.”
Fuck, it hurts to see her hurting. It hurts worse to know I’ve added to her pain. I grab the back of my neck and close my eyes, having no idea how to respond because she’s right.
Keegan stands, pushing her shoulders back as she looks at me with determination. “What else do you know?”
What? Oh no, that’s a really bad idea. “Keegan—” I try, but she cuts me off.
“What else, Adrian? It’s my life. I deserve to know how much of it you have stashed away in a folder somewhere.”
I close my eyes, not wanting to see the pain in hers, and try to remember something small I can tell her. I’ll have to tell her everything someday, but this is not the time for full disclosure.
“You had a 4.0 for almost your entire four years of high school,” I say.
“Damn,” Robert mutters, reminding me we’re not alone.
Keegan crosses her arms over her chest. “What else, and don’t give me the meaningless shit.” She tilts her head to the side in challenge. “Remember, Adrian, don’t waste my time with meaningless words.”
She’s repeating her plea from the other night, that I not lie to her and that I give her action to show her how I feel. But, we can’t do this right now. She’s a fucking emotional wreck, and I just want to hold her, and try to ease some of her pain. If I recount all the deeply personal shit my guy managed to find on her, this is going to get much worse.
I gesture toward Robert and Gemma sitting on the couch. “Can we go talk in your room,” I ask, hoping once I get her there I can wrestle her onto the bed where we’ll stay until she forgives me.
She’s on a mission, so she pushes on. “What else, Adrian.”
I rub my face, contemplating my choices. She deserves answers, regardless if it makes me look like the biggest ass she’s encountered yet.
I drop my hands and look back at her with resignation. “You were going to commute your first year here, but you moved into a dorm after you lost the baby.”
I see her flinch and her eyes begin to water. I take a step, reaching out a hand to her, but she takes a step back.
“What else,” she says again, but this time her voice waivers, sounding less sure.
I shake my head. “No Keegan, I’m not hurting you anymore—”
“You promised me action,” she practically yells, as the tears finally escape and race down her cheeks. “You already broke one promise, are you going to break both of them?”
Christ, she always seems to have the perfect words in times like this. Steeling myself again, I tell her about one particular report that has stuck with me and also helps remind me why she’s desperate to protect her heart.
“You were so devastated, at your brother’s funeral, that the pallbearers had to pry you off his casket.”
Keegan recoils, Robert gasps, and Gemma stands, placing a hand on Keegan’s arm. “That’s enough, honey,” she tells her in a gentle tone.
I pray Keegan listens to her best friend, but her resolve doesn’t waiver. I’m not even sure why she doing this anymore. At first I think she did what to know what all I’d learned about her, but now… now it’s as if she’s reliving all these horrible memories. For what?
Keegan shakes off Gemma, never taking her eyes off me. “There’s something else,” she says. Her face is streaked with tears, but she’s stopped trying to wipe them away. “Tell me, Adrian, what is it that you know?”
I shake my head again, but this time I turn to leave.
As I reach for the door, Keegan yells again, “We need to finish this, Adrian. Get it all out there, now.”
I turn back to look at her, thinking she’s probably right. There’s only one more piece of information I have, but it’s going to rock her, but maybe I do need to say it so we can move on.
Swallowing, I stand frozen, staring into her eyes when I tell her, “Your dad is remarried… and has two daughters with his new wife.”
This is news to her. I know that because she’s not had contact with her dad in years, since before Jack ever entered her life. I just told the girl I love, who quite possibly hates me now, that the father who left her has a new family, and she has two sisters.
Keegan watches me, her expression unreadable. It’s as if all the emotions, she was consumed by moments before, all melted away, leaving her empty, feeling nothing.
“I’m done,” she says, finally speaking. Her tone has changed—she sounds exhausted and resigned.
I snap my head up. She’s done with what? With this conversation, with this day, with me?
“Keegan,” I try, but she again cuts me off and tells me how I’ve cut her deeply.
“I told you no words—I need action. You gave me action today, the kind that shows me you don’t trust or respect me.” She shakes her head. “I tried… and you lied. I’m done.”
Her words are said with such finality that I know trying to discuss it any further would be useless. I turn to go, slamming the door behind me.