Chapter Eleven

 

 

 

 

Megan

 

 

 

 

 

I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. I felt like everything was spiraling out of control. I spent more time talking to Simon than I did with my actual boyfriend. Waking up in his lap was completely crossing the line that we’d been toeing for so long. If Alex had come downstairs and found us, it would have hurt him and caused a huge rift between the brothers.

I was so angry with myself that I cried all the way home. By the time I got there, the sun was completely up and I walked the dog before getting right into the shower. Once I was clean, I changed into a pair of blue scrubs and made the drive back out to New Hope for work.

I went through the motions all morning long and at lunch time, I sat in the lounge eating the crackers I kept in the cupboard since I hadn’t brought lunch. Conversations were going on around me but I ignored them as I stared off at nothing. When my phone vibrated loudly on the table, it startled me and caused me to drop my crackers.

 

Simon:      Are you okay?

 

I didn’t even know how to answer him. I stared at my screen for a minute before typing out a reply.

 

Me:      Yeah. Sorry for my mini-freak out this morning.

Simon:      I’m sorry I let you fall asleep.

Me:      It’s not your fault. Are you okay?

Simon:      As okay as I can be.

 

His response left so much up to interpretation that I just locked my phone and picked up my crackers again. I couldn’t go downstairs at night anymore. I needed to stop spending so much time with Simon. One way to do that was to start going over on days when he was on shift at the station. The thought of doing that hurt my stomach, though. I’d come to rely on the few precious hours we got.

I forced Simon out of my mind as I finished up the rest of my work day. When I went home that night, my sister repeatedly asked me what was wrong but I couldn’t tell her. Talking about whatever was going on with Simon would make it real and I wasn’t prepared to do that. I brushed her off instead and hid in my room for the rest of the night.

A few days later, Alex and I went to some comedy show that he’d wanted to see for a couple of weeks. The comedian’s humor was really crass, however, and he seemed to think it was fun to insult the members of his audience. Alex loved him and was sucking down the drinks quickly as he laughed loudly at the stupid jokes. I was relieved when the show was over and I led an unsteady Alex back out to my car.

“That was fun,” he said with a slight slur as I started the engine. I shrugged my shoulders and backed my car out of its spot.

“I didn’t find him that funny, honestly.”

Alex let out a long sigh and I could feel him looking at me. “Do we have anything in common?”

I was beginning to wonder that myself but I didn’t say that. I drove us towards his house and parked in front of the curb once we were there. Right behind Simon’s truck. I let out a frustrated breath and turned to my boyfriend.

“I think I’m just going to go home, Alex.”

He shook his head and reached over to take my hand in his. “I’m not ready for you to go yet. Come inside. Please.”

I stared at him for a long moment. Alex was really handsome. He and his brother had the same hair and eye color and the same nose, but that was where the similarities ended. The shape of their eyes, the tilt of their smiles, and most of their mannerisms were unlike the others. The biggest difference was their body types, though. They had about an inch or two difference in height but Alex was leaner, with the body type of someone who had to be fast. Simon was more muscular with the body type of someone who had to be strong. Each man was handsome in their own way.

After a moment of looking at Alex, I nodded. I wasn’t sure why I was agreeing to go in. Part of me didn’t want to disappoint him. Another part of me wanted to see Simon. The rest of me wanted to run screaming from the house and never go back.

Alex’s face transformed into a smile and he pushed his door open. I took his hand when he offered and we walked up to the porch together. He opened the unlocked front door and my eyes immediately found Simon sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey,” he said quietly as he looked from Alex to me. “You guys have a good night?”

Alex nodded and tugged on my hand. “It’s not over.”

We walked by Simon and I didn’t miss the sadness that came over his face when he realized we were going upstairs. He caught my eye for a moment before looking down at the paperwork he was doing. I also averted my gaze as shame filled me. The fact that I felt ashamed to be with my boyfriend was… incredibly messed up.

I followed Alex up the stairs and into his bedroom. He shut the door behind us and took seat on the edge of the bed as he pulled me into his lap. His lips immediately found my neck and I closed my eyes as I try to stop thinking. Alex’s movements were uncoordinated and rough, though, and he pressed his lips to mine sloppily. I let him keep going until he was hovering over me but separated our lips when he gripped my breasts through my dress painfully.

“Alex,” I whispered as I shook my head. “That hurts.”

He let out exasperated sigh and pressed our lips together again as he pulled my dress up. As he grasped for my underwear, he fumbled and ended up scratching my skin with his nails. I rolled out of his hold until I was standing next to him.

“You’ve had too much to drink,” I said quietly as I shook my head. “Not tonight, okay?”

Alex reached up and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“Alex…”

“Are you my mom?” He stared at me for a moment but I didn’t respond. “I’ve hardly had anything to drink, Megan. If you don’t want to have sex with me, you should just have the balls to say so.”

I shook my head and walked over to where my shoes were. “I’m not going to argue with you.”

Once my feet were in my heels and my dress was situated, I reached for the doorknob. Alex wrapped his arms around me from behind and dropped his chin to my shoulder before I could open it, though.

“I’m sorry. I’m being a dick.”

I nodded and didn’t bother turning around. “You are.”

“I had a rough day. I shouldn’t have had so much to drink, though.” He turned me until I was facing him and he pressed a light kiss to my lips. “I’m really sorry. You’re so amazing. I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

I just nodded again but didn’t say anything. Alex hugged me to his chest for a moment before releasing me.

“I’m going to go to bed. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Okay.” I accepted one last, small kiss from him and walked out of his room. I pulled the door closed behind me and walked towards the stairs slowly. I never should have come inside. I needed to learn to stand my ground and not give in just to make others happy.

I made it to the bottom of the stairs and turned to head into the kitchen. Simon was at the coffee pot and he twisted his head when he heard me.

“That was quick.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “I’m going to head home.” I held my hand up in a wave and headed towards the front door. I was almost there when Simon’s hand gently wrapped around my wrist and I was stopped by a second Owens brother for the night.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I murmured as I turned to look at him. “I’m tired.”

He stared down at me, his eyes full of concern, and he gave me a small smile. “Liar. Want to talk about it?”

Simon still hadn’t let go of my wrist and my body felt like it was switched to ‘on’ for the first time in weeks. I tugged my arm from his grip and shook my head.

“Not really.”

“Okay.” He took a step back and gestured to the couch. “Come sit down. I recorded The Wedding Ringer and it’s supposed to be hilarious.” When I didn’t move, he just grinned. “I won’t let you fall asleep. I promise.”

I should have just gone home but I didn’t. I wanted to spend time with Simon. So I went and sat on the couch and spent the next two hours watching the movie with him. The more we laughed, the harder it was to remember why what we were doing was wrong.

 

Two weeks after the fourth of July, I walked up the pathway to their house and knocked on the door. Alex’s car wasn’t in the driveway yet but he had known that I would be there early. Both sets of parents and my sister were coming over for dinner that night and I’d wanted to get a few things made as early as possible. Alex had picked up a Sunday shift but promised he’d be home by four. He’d mentioned that it was Simon’s weekend off and confirmed that he’d be home to let me in.

We’d talked about his drinking the day after the comedy show. I confessed to him how much it bothered me and he had apologized profusely while promising to drink less. We’d only seen each other once since that night and he hadn’t had a drop to drink, but we’d been with the kids so I wasn’t sure if he was serious about it or not.

After I’d knocked, I took a step back and waited. The door opened about forty-five seconds later and Simon stood in front of me with a smile on his face. He was in a pair of khaki shorts with a gray, short-sleeved t-shirt. His hair was as disorderly as ever but his eyes were bright as he looked at me. It had been two weeks since I’d seen him last and a huge wave of contentment rushed through me from being in his presence.

“Hey.” He took a step back and I walked through the door, sighing in relief when the cool air hit my face.

“Hi. Did Alex tell you I was coming?”

Simon nodded and closed the door behind me. “Something about preparing food or sides or something.”

“Yeah.” I chuckled as I walked into the big kitchen. “I wanted to make the sides here so I didn’t have to transport it or prepare anything in my shoebox apartment.” I put down the grocery bags I was carrying and turned back to look at Simon. “How are you?”

He moved so he was sitting on the counter and shrugged. “I’m fine. How are you?”

“Hot.” I rolled my eyes when Simon wiggled his eyebrows. “The air conditioner in my car is on the fritz.”

“Are you serious? Jesus, Megs.” He laughed softly. “Give me your keys. I’m going to look at it now.”

I shook my head and as I went through the cupboards. “No, you don’t have to do that. I’ll take it in to be serviced next week.” I turned around and ran right into Simon’s solid chest as stood with his palm outstretched expectantly.

“Keys.”

“Fine,” I said with a sigh as I pulled them out of my pocket and placed them into his hand gently. “Don’t go too crazy trying to figure it out. I don’t mind taking it in.”

He just gave me a triumphant grin before walking out of the kitchen. I shook my head and finished getting everything out that I needed. I looked at the list of sides I wanted to make as I tried to decide what I wanted to do first. I was just putting the water on to boil when Simon reappeared and offered me my keys.

“Is it hopeless?” I asked as I put them back in my pocket.

“It’s blowing nice, freezing cold air.” Simon grinned and leaned against the counter like it was no big deal.

I stared at him, openmouthed, and shook my head. “You were gone for less than ten minutes. What did you do?”

“I replaced a fuse,” he replied with a chuckle like it was the simplest thing in the world. “That’s all it was. There was even a spare already in your fuse box.”

I rubbed the back of my neck as I tried to keep my smile from breaking my face. I couldn’t help it. I walked to where he was and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug that he returned easily.

“Thank you.”

When I pulled back, it was as if the air had been sucked from the area. Anymore it felt like the atmosphere crackled when Simon and I were in the same room and I’d started to crave it. He kept his expression schooled and I had no idea if he felt it, too, but I wanted to bask in it for as long as I could.