Chapter Forty-Three

 

 

 

 

Megan

 

 

 

 

 

“Keep going, Megan.”

I jogged back about ten more feet and Hudson just shook his head. So I went another ten and he finally nodded. I watched as he pulled his arm back and stepped forward to throw the ball. I had to run another five feet but I was able to wrap my hands around the little, foam football easily.

Hudson, Kendra, and my parents all cheered and I did a little dance before throwing it to the ground.

“That was the best touchdown dance I’ve ever seen.”

My head snapped towards the deck and I saw Simon standing there with a smile on his face as he looked at me. I furrowed my brows and immediately folded my arms over my chest, as if I could keep the pain at bay. I couldn’t go another round with him, not so soon. It took everything I had to confront him earlier and I still felt completely drained.

“What are you doing here?”

Kelly appeared on the deck next to him with a soft smile on her lips. My father had his hands on Kendra’s shoulders as he looked up at Simon with a curious expression on his face and my mother, like Kelly, was smiling from the chair she was sitting on in the grass. Those traitors.

Simon stared at me for a moment before walking down the four stairs to the grass. He didn’t stop moving as he began to close the distance between us.

“Have you heard the Garth Brooks’ song, ‘The Dance’?” he asked softly as he took slow steps.

I nodded my head and forced myself to stay where I was when my body wanted to run. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to run away from him or towards him so instead I just stayed where I was.

“In the song, he talks about how the pain could have been avoided, but he would have missed the dance, right?”

I nodded again and my breathing quickened as he got even closer.

“Megan, nothing in this world is worth missing the dance with you. Those five months we were together, hell even the two months you were with Alex, were the best of my life. The last three have been some of my worst.” He shook his head as he stopped about three feet in front of me. “I pushed you away so you wouldn’t have to suffer the same fate as my mother or Pamela but that wasn’t fair. Any one of us could die tomorrow and be left with the memories of what we did and who we did them with. I want to make memories with you. If you’re willing to dance with me, I will do everything I can to make sure it was completely worth it in the end whether that’s six days or sixty years from now.”

I just stared at him as I absorbed his words. After a moment, I shook my head. “And what happens when the next bad thing hits us and you get scared again?”

“Just give me this.” He held his hand out to me and I hesitated before extending my palm. When he pressed his skin to mine, I almost closed my eyes in relief at the contact. When I pulled my hand back, the masonic ring was in it. “Give it to me and tell me to remember what my dad would say.”

I stared into his blue eyes for a minute before looking down at the ring in my hand. I’d waited three months for Simon to come back, to say those words, but instead of feeling relieved, I felt angry.

“You walked away from me. You broke my heart. You see me with someone else and suddenly you’ve changed your mind?” I held out the ring for him to take. “It doesn’t work like that. I’m not yours anymore, Si.”

He stepped towards me and ignored my hand. “That’s not what made me realize what an idiot I’ve been, Megs. I promise. The only thing that changed because of last night is that Jones realized I was full of shit when I said I was doing better.”

Simon was so close to me that I could smell his clean scent. All I had to do was lean forward slightly and I could touch him. My whole body hummed with awareness and I itched for more.

“What made you realize then?”

He smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “My dad.”

“Your dad,” I repeated quietly and he just nodded.

“He would have kicked my ass, Megs. He knew that he could die and leave the three of us without him but he was adamant that it was worth it. He told my mom to fall apart, to hurt for as long as she needed to, but he also told her to remember the good moments. Babe, I want those good moments with you. I could die tomorrow, you could die tomorrow, but I don’t want to die regretting that I didn’t kiss you enough. I don’t want to die thinking that you ever doubted how much I love you. I’m sorry that I took the choice away from you. I’m sorry that I was so stupid. I’m sorry that I’ve unnecessarily hurt you over the past three months. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me.”

We stood there, toe-to-toe, for several long minutes as I looked up at him. He was right. Even if I’d known that I’d be in as much pain as I had been for the past few months, I wouldn’t have given up the time I had with Simon for anything. Everything came with a risk of pain and I was willing to take the risk if it meant I could be with him.

As if he could sense the shift, Simon reached both of his hands up and rest them on either side of my neck as his fingertips grazed my skin softly.

“You might not be mine anymore, Megs, but I’ll always be yours. My heart belongs to you.”

“Tell me,” I whispered as I tipped my chin towards him slightly.

Simon smiled as he stared down at me. “I want you forever. I love you, Megan.”

I let out a small sigh as his words washed over me. I moved marginally and Simon did, too, causing our lips to meet in the middle. He tasted familiar, like home, and I knew I’d never get enough. My body vibrated happily and I brought my arms up to wrap around his neck so our chests could press together.

Kelly’s wolf-whistle brought me back to earth and Simon chuckled as pulled back slightly. He stared down at me as his thumbs rubbed against my cheek slowly. His gaze made me feel like the most treasured person in the world.

“Are you planning on pushing me away again?” I asked quietly and Simon immediately shook his head.

“I don’t think I could survive it, babe. I’m so sorry. I thought I was protecting you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I’m a big girl, Si. I can make my own decisions, you know.” I paused and dropped my cheek to his chest. “I’ve spent some time with Pamela. I know the risks of loving someone who does what you do. I’ve seen it firsthand. I still want every moment I can get with you.”

His hold on me tightened and I felt his lips press to the top of my head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

I let my arms drop from his neck and realized I was still clutching the ring in my fist. I could feel his eyes on me as I inspected it for a moment before sliding it on my thumb. When I glanced back at Simon, a grin had stretched across his lips and he pressed them to my forehead before grabbing my hand. We walked across the backyard to where my family was playing ball with the kids.

“Finally realize that you were being an idiot, son?” my father asked as he gently tossed the ball to Kendra. Simon nodded seriously.

“I did. I was a major idiot. I owe you all an apology, too.” His eyes touched on both my parents and my sister. “I really did have the best intentions in mind I just…”

“Was an idiot,” Hudson finished for him and everyone laughed.

“Right, Huds. Thanks, buddy.”

We spent the rest of the evening with my parents and Simon’s hand was touching me constantly, even if just to graze my arm with his thumb. My family accepted him back in their lives without hesitation and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in months. When it was time for us to go, I was almost afraid that he’d disappear if I let him out of my sight.

“I’ll take the kids home, Megs,” he said after we’d hugged my parents goodbye. I stared up at him and he just smiled. “I have to work tomorrow morning but I was hoping I could grab my stuff and stay with you tonight.”

I tried to play it cool by shrugging my shoulders but I knew the smile tugging at my lips betrayed me. I hugged both of the kids tight and told them I’d see them really soon before giving Simon a quick kiss. I stood on the sidewalk and watched as he drove away. Kelly nudging my shoulder caused me to jump slightly and I turned to look at her. She was smiling as she wrapped her arm around me.

“I’m happy for you, Gan.”

I nodded and dropped my head to hers. “We have some stuff we need to figure out but I think we’re going to be okay.”

“You guys are going to be perfect. You already look a million times better. No joke.”

We hugged tight before climbing in our separate cars. I followed Kelly all the way back to the apartment and she took over the TV in the living room as I walked the dog. After he was settled, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before removing my contacts and brushing my teeth.

After staring at my phone for a few minutes, I finally sent a text to Andy. It was harder to compose than I would have thought it’d be. I settled on something short and sweet, thanking him for taking me out and admitting he was right about me having feelings for Simon. He was a fantastic guy and I had no doubt in my mind that he and I could have had a great relationship. Even if I had developed feelings for him, though, they never would have been as strong as what I felt for Simon and that wouldn’t have been fair to either of us. Simon was like the missing piece of my soul and Andy deserved to find his piece, too. He responded a few minutes later, wishing me luck and letting me know he was always available if I needed a friend.

I was laying on my bed reading a book when I heard a knock on the front door. Kelly obviously answered it because I heard it open and close. A moment later, the door to my bedroom opened slowly and Simon appeared with a soft smile on his face.

“Hey,” I said as I put my book on the nightstand and sat up against the headboard. Simon dropped his bag near the dresser before stopping and just looking at me. Even after months apart, it felt so right having him in that small space with me. He finally moved so he could sit on the edge of the bed.

“You’re so beautiful, Megan. You take my breath away.”

I raised my brows and looked at the old college t-shirt I was wearing. “You’re sucking up.”

“I mean it.” He reached out and tugged on a strand of hair. “No one compares to you.”

“Thank you,” I whispered with a smile. I straightened up and cleared my throat. “We need to talk about these last three months, though.”

“Okay.” Simon kicked off his shoes and climbed into the bed so he was sitting next to me. “Let’s talk about the last three months.”

I leaned into his chest when his arm came around my shoulders and I felt contentment wash over me. “Chad told me you were seeing someone.”

“Me?” Simon shook his head and ran his fingers along my upper arm. “Hughes is full of shit. I haven’t dated anyone. He’s a dick and was probably trying to make things worse between us.”

“Were you sleeping with anyone?”

I felt him hesitate next to me and I closed my eyes as my stomach clenched. I tried to remind myself of everything I put him through the summer before.

“I tried once,” he said softly. “I went home with someone but I couldn’t… close the deal. She wasn’t you. I’ve spent the last three months at work, getting shitfaced with Jones and Christos, and hiding in my brother’s basement, Megs.”

“Sounds similar to my three months,” I replied. “I worked, I came home, and I hid in here.”

“And you dated that dude.” The jealousy in Simon’s voice was obvious and I nodded.

“And I went on one date with Andy,” I agreed. “We kissed three times and he told me to figure out if I was still in love with you when he dropped me off.” I shifted on the bed until I was straddling his waist. I placed my hands on either side of his face and sighed. “I missed you. So much.”

“I missed you, too, babe. I’m sorry for everything.”

After taking off my gasses, I moved my hands so I could grab the hem of my t-shirt and I pulled it over my head slowly. Simon’s eyes stayed on mine but his hands ran down my sides, causing me to release a shuddering breath.

I leaned in to press my mouth to his as I tugged at his shirt. Our movements started out slow but they turned frantic once our bare chests were touching. Simon’s lips trailed down my neck until he was at my breasts and I gasped when his teeth raked across one.

“Everything about you is amazing, Megs,” he murmured against my skin. “I love the noises you make.” He shifted until I was on my back with my head at the foot of the bed and he hovered over me, his lips moving to give my other breast attention. “I love the way you remember the funny parts in a movie and you laugh three seconds before they happen.” He sat back on his knees and tugged my sweats and underwear off of my legs.

“I love the way your eyes seem to sparkle when you’re happy or excited.” He pushed my thighs open and I tensed as his hand moved slowly to my center. He stared down at me as he stroked me with one finger, causing me to moan loudly. “I love how your attitude is a perfect mix of sassy and sweet.” His finger pushed inside of me and I arched my back as I fought to keep my eyes open.

Simon moved his hand at a steady pace as he undid the button of his pants with other. “I love the way you love everyone around you so fiercely.”

The tension in my body broke as an unexpected orgasm took over all of my senses. I called Simon’s name as cries of pleasure escaped my lips and when I came out of my fog, Simon was naked and staring down at me. “I love everything about you, Megan.”

He thrust his hips and I felt complete for the first time in three months. Simon moved expertly and continued to murmur in low tones until we came together, each of us clinging to the other as if we’d float away. He pressed his face into my shoulder as his chest heaved and I ran my hands through his hair, completely spent.

“I love you, too, Si,” I said as I pressed a kiss to his forehead. He lifted his head and looked down at me with a smile.

“I’m not dreaming, right?”

I shook my head and lightly scratched the backs of his shoulders with my nails. “I hope not.”

Simon pulled himself off of me and we didn’t bother getting dressed but turned to settle on the pillows. Once we were covered up, I made sure my alarm was set for six the next morning. Simon turned on the TV and changed it to the Tonight Show.

“Jimmy’s not funny without you,” I whispered as I cuddled to his chest. “I haven’t watched it in months.”

Simon’s arms tightened around me. “Me either. The last time I watched it was with you.”

I didn’t end up watching it then, either, because I fell asleep within minutes of being in Simon’s arms.