Chapter Thirty-Nine

 

 

 

 

Megan

 

 

 

 

 

It was light in the bedroom when I opened my eyes and Simon’s hold on me was tighter than normal. I laid there for a few moments before I realized he wasn’t asleep. I turned in his arms and locked onto his blue eyes. I began to smile at him before realizing that something was off.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered tiredly. “Are you okay?”

He looked exhausted. His normally bright eyes were dull and his lips were pressed into a hard line. There were bags under his eyes that made it seem as if he hadn’t slept in days. I reached a hand up to cup his cheek.

“Si?”

“We lost Williams,” he breathed almost inaudibly, his face remaining stoic.

I stared at him for a moment as I processed his words and I finally shook my head. “Williams?”

“Yeah.”

I wanted to cry, to ask him what happened, how it happened, and what I could do to make it better but that wasn’t what Simon needed in the moment. I moved up on my pillow and tugged on him lightly. Simon immediately buried his face into my neck and I held him as tight as I could. His tense body began to relax minutely as I ran my hand through his hair slowly and after about fifteen minutes, he fell asleep.

I stayed in bed with him for a while and once he began snoring, I slowly extracted my limbs from his. He didn’t stir, obviously beyond exhausted, and I covered him up before moving away from the bed slowly. I could hear his phone vibrating in his shorts on the floor so I grabbed it and my own before leaving the room. Simba followed as I pulled the door shut behind me and moved to the kitchen to start the coffee pot.

It was only a little after eight and my head was pounding but I ignored it as I took the dog on a short walk and dropped onto the couch with our phones. Simon had over twenty missed calls and texts, most of them from people in his company, but some from his family as well. I had a few from family and I ignored those as I brought up the news station’s Facebook page to find what I was looking for. It didn’t go into detail but said that the company had been working an accident on the freeway when a drunk driver had hit Williams and police officer as they set up a traffic diversion. The article didn’t identify Williams by name but it did mention that the company was led by Don and Simon.

Simon’s phone rang in my hand and I answered it when I saw Phil’s name on the display.

“Hey, Phil.”

He let out a long sigh before responding. “Hi, Megan. How is he?”

“I’m not sure yet, honestly,” I replied softly. “He finally just fell asleep.”

“From what I understand, Simon was in charge last night when it all happened. I worry that he’s going to feel responsible,” Phil explained and I closed my eyes as I sighed.

That was exactly how Simon was going to feel.

Phil picked up on my thoughts. “He’s going to be okay, Megan. Just let me know when he wakes, okay?”

“Of course.”

We ended the call and I stood up to grab a cup of coffee. I sat on the couch and fielded a similar call from my own father. He wanted to come over as soon as Simon was awake but I convinced him to wait until I gave him the all-clear. I’d just put my phone down when Kelly’s door open and a guy stepped out wearing a pair of black suit pants and a white t-shirt. He pulled her door closed behind him and gave me a sheepish smile when our eyes met.

“Hey. Good morning, Megan.”

I stared at him for a moment as I tried to pull his name out of my aching head. “Devin, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and took a few steps to the couch as he gestured to my sister’s room. “Kelly’s still asleep.”

“She’s not much of a morning person.” I held up my mug up. “There’s coffee in the kitchen. Mugs are in the cupboard above the coffee pot.”

Simon’s phone rang again and my stomach clenched when I saw the name ‘Christos’ on the display. I swiped the screen and brought it to my ear.

“Hey, Nick. It’s Megan.”

“Megan, hey. How is he?” He sounded miserable and I felt a lump form in my throat.

“Probably about as good as you are. He just fell asleep.” I took a calming breath. “Do you have someone to be with, Nick?”

He let a dry laugh. “No, it’s okay, though.”

“Why don’t you come over here?”

“Maybe,” he replied quietly. “Is Kelly home?”

“She’s still asleep but she’s here. Come over, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Megan.” His voice was a whisper and he disconnected the call quickly.

I stared at Simon’s phone for a moment and finally looked up to find Devin looking at me from near the kitchen, his own coffee in is hand.

“Can I ask what happened?”

I took a long drink of coffee and cleared my throat. “My boyfriend’s company lost a member last night.”

“Oh.” He paused and gave me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes and he took his mug to the sink when he was done. “I’m going to wake up your sister and say goodbye so your family can have some privacy, okay?”

“Okay.” I watched him walk to my sister’s room before I said his name. When he turned, I shook my head. “Don’t tell Kelly, okay? I’ll talk to her.”

“Of course.” He disappeared into her room and shut the door.

I turned on the TV for some background noise as I began to make some pancakes. I constantly checked on Simon because I didn’t want him to wake up and sit in there alone. I had just finished making breakfast when my phone vibrated and I saw a text from Alex.

 

Alex:      Hey. How is he?

Me:      Sleeping. I woke up about an hour ago and he was next to me, awake and completely exhausted.

Alex:      What can I do?

Me:      Nothing right now. I’ll let you know how he is after he’s up, okay?

Alex:      Okay. Thank you. I’m glad he has you.

 

Devin left a few minutes later, thanking me for the coffee before he did, and Kelly stumbled out of her room not too long after that. I got her some coffee and we sat on the couch as I told her what happened.

“Shit.”

I nodded and rubbed my eye with my fist. “Nick’s on his way. He sounded pretty broken when he called earlier and I don’t want him to be alone.”

I watched my sister’s reaction carefully but she just nodded.

“He’s a sweetheart. I’m sure he’s taking this hard.”

We both sat on the couch for a few moments as we leaned against each other and Kelly eventually stood, mumbling something about brushing her teeth. I put the food I’d made in the microwave to try and keep it warm before checking in on Simon again. He was still sleeping in the same spot I’d left him so I quietly brushed my own teeth and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I hadn’t taken my contacts out the night before so I was just putting eye drops in my eyes when someone knocked on the front door.

I hurried out to the living room and pulled the door open to find a completely broken man on the porch. Nick tried to smile but it looked incredibly pained and I stepped back to gesture him in. He glanced around my living room and nodded once.

“Thanks for inviting me over.”

I didn’t reply but wrapped my arms around his middle instead. Nick returned the embrace with one of his own and leaned down to bury his face into my shoulder. After a moment, his body began to shake as he silently cried and it took everything I had not to cry myself. His sobs eventually became audible and he clutched me like a lifeline.

“Nicky.”

He pulled away from me slowly when my sister spoke and we saw that Kelly standing near her door. I watched as he wiped his eyes and offered me a small smile before moving to her. He took her outstretched hand and they both disappeared into her room.

I had no idea what was going on between the two of them. They’d gone on a couple of dates but it sounded like they decided they were just better off friends. They were a strange duo and constantly touching one another in a more than friendly way. Nick was at our place a lot, though, and he made Kelly laugh so I was happy to have him.

I stared at her closed door for a minute and let out a long sigh. When I finally peeled my eyes from where they’d gone, I turned and found Simon staring at me from the opposite hallway.

He was in nothing but a pair of sleep shorts as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. His face was sad and he offered me a smile even more pathetic than Nick’s. I didn’t say anything as I crossed the living room and he immediately pushed off the wall so he could open his arms. Mine went around his neck and his snaked around my body.

“Hey, Si,” I murmured as we held each other tight. His cheek pressed against the top of my head and he released a heavy, heartbreaking sigh.

“I love you.”

I nodded and turned my head slightly so I could kiss his shoulder. “I love you, too. What can I do? You want some coffee or pancakes?”

“I can get it,” he replied quietly as he pulled away and I shook my head.

“Go sit on the couch.”

He pressed a kiss to my forehead before doing just that. I warmed up some pancakes and I brought him a plate with a mug of coffee. As he ate, he held the fork up and forced me to eat, too. Once the plate was empty, I took it to the sink and sat back down next to him as I handed him his phone.

“Thanks, babe.” Simon unlocked it and read through his text messages, only replying to a few before he dropped it to his lap. “Think I should go talk to Nick?”

I shook my head slowly. “Let Kelly hang out with him for a little bit. What can I do for you?”

He scrubbed a hand down his face and shook his head. “You being here is exactly what I need, Megan.”

We stayed on the couch for a long time without saying anything. Eventually Nick and Kelly reappeared and Nick’s eyes were red from crying. Simon sat with him at the table and refused to accept Nick’s apologies for not coming the night before. Nick felt guilty, as if being there would have changed something.

When Captain Stevenson called, Simon stepped into the bedroom to speak to him. After about fifteen minutes, I slowly pushed open the door and found him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I moved to where he was and placed my hands on his knees as I crouched in front of him.

“Si.”

He slowly dropped his hands away from his face and tipped his chin slightly so he was looking at me.

“The Chief and Captain just left Tony’s house. They’ve been with his wife.”

I nodded and reached a hand up to cup his cheek. “I’m glad they stayed with her for a bit. Do you want to go over?”

Simon nodded and his eyes dropped back to the floor. “Cap wants us all to wait until tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Come here,” Simon said as he gently gripped my upper arms and pulled me so I was straddling his lap. He pressed our lips together and his tongue touched mine almost instantly. His hands held my face to his and I gripped his shoulders as I gave him what he needed. He poured so much love and sadness into the kiss and clung to me like he thought I was going to run away. After a moment, he unexpectedly pulled away and pressed his face to my chest. When his shoulders shook, I wrapped one arm around them and placed my other hand on the back of his head.

Simon cried for about ten minutes as I sat in his lap and held him with my cheek on the top of his head. My own tears fell but I wiped them quickly in an attempt to be strong for my boyfriend. When he straightened up, I stared at his sad, blue eyes and ran my thumbs along his cheek. I pressed my lips against his in a soft, quick kiss and stood from his lap. He moved to his feet and grabbed a t-shirt from the dresser to tug over his head. Afterwards, he took my hand and we went back out to the living room with Kelly and Nick.

As they day went on, our small apartment was littered with people. My parents, Simon’s parents, and Alex and Stacey all came by and stayed for quite a while. Nick stayed the whole day and both Ian Dickerson and Rowen Barthe showed in the late afternoon. Rowen had brought his girlfriend, Melody, and I noticed that he rarely released his grip on her hand. Tori finally showed up in the late afternoon and her eyes were so red and swollen that I knew she’d been crying for hours.

At some point Mom and Carol had left to get everyone dinner and they’d returned with over ten huge carry-out bags of food from a local restaurant. We didn’t have enough places for everyone to sit so Kelly, Tori, and I sat on the floor around the coffee table with our food. Everyone exchanged happier stories about Tony and the station and I kept a close eye on Simon constantly.

Most of his smiles were forced and his body language was all wrong. I wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on him, either. Carol’s eyes followed him, too, and every now and then we’d exchange our own worried looks. Simon had been actively avoiding my gaze since we’d left the bedroom and I knew that the wheels were turning in his head as he dealt with his emotions.

People started to filter out as it got later and soon it was just Simon, Kelly, Tori, Nick, and I left. We’d convinced both Nick and Kelly to stay the night and Kelly changed her sheets while I made up the couch.

“I can seriously just sleep on the floor,” Tori said quietly to Kelly who was shaking her head instantly.

“We can cuddle, Tor. It will be fun.” She nudged Tori’s shoulder with her own and I was glad when Tori let out a small laugh.

Once I had the couch ready, Nick wrapped me and Kelly each in a tight hug before eyeballing Tori.

She shook her head and walked back towards Kelly’s bedroom. “You hug me, Christos, and I’ll knee you in the balls.”

Nick just laughed before falling onto my couch with a sigh. “Thanks for letting me come over today, you guys. I really didn’t want to be alone.”

“You’re welcome anytime, Nicky,” Kelly replied quietly as I nodded next to her. “I’ll leave my door open so you can use my bathroom if you need it.” My little sister leaned in and kissed Nick’s cheek before disappearing into her room. Nick watched her before smiling at me.

“You’ve got a cool sister.”

“I really do,” I agreed as I held my hand up in a wave. “Goodnight, Nick.”

After hugging my sister and Tori, who did not threaten me with bodily hard when I did, I took the dog out for about ten minutes. When I came back inside, I locked the door and went to my bedroom with Simba. I expected Simon to be in bed since he’d disappeared when I’d started getting Nick’s temporary bed read for the night. Instead, he was pulling his clothes out of the drawer and stuffing them into his backpack. He’d also taken off the pajamas he had been wearing all day and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

“Simon,” I said softly as I closed the door behind me. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t bother turning to look at me as he shut the drawer and went to the closet. “I think I should go home for the night.”

“What?” I asked as I folded my arms over my chest. “Why? And why would you need every item you’ve ever left here if you were just going home for the night?”

He didn’t answer as he moved into the bathroom and I walked over to where he’d left his backpack. I immediately started pulling things out and putting them back in the dresser. Simon let out a long sigh when he saw me and shook his head.

“Megan, stop.” He reached for the backpack and I pulled it away before he could reach it.

“No. What are you doing?”

“Just give me my bag.” When I didn’t, he moved to take it from me. “Megan.”

I dropped the bag on the floor behind me and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing our chests together and holding on as tight as I could. “Don’t. I know what you’re doing. Don’t, Si.”

His arms remained at his sides and his whole body was stiff but I could feel the indecision rolling off of him in waves. I couldn’t figure out if he was punishing himself out of guilt or trying to be noble due to the unknown. Either way, I wasn’t letting him leave without a fight.

Simon’s hands reached up and gripped my wrists to pull me off of him. We both knew that I didn’t stand a chance against his strength but he was extremely gentle as he tugged on my arms.

“Don’t do this, Simon,” I whispered with my lips at his ear as I clung onto him. “Please, don’t break my heart.”

I don’t know how long we stood like that, me on my toes with my arms around his neck and Simon standing as still as a statue. When his arms finally wrapped around my back, I let out a sigh of relief. His hold was tight, almost painfully so, and he walked us back towards the bed slowly.

He turned his head so his lips could run along my neck and I loosened my hold slightly. When I turned my neck, he immediately captured my mouth and the kiss was frantic as our tongues danced together. We made quick work of each other’s clothes and soon we were both naked as Simon pushed himself between my legs. He moved in direct contrast to our kiss, though, and each thrust was slow and purposeful. His lips touched as much bare skin as possible and he kissed me as if it was our last.

It wasn’t until after I’d had my third orgasm that Simon finally let himself go and he dropped his forehead to my shoulder as his body sagged over mine. We stayed like that for several long minutes before Simon lifted his head and studied my face slowly, almost like he was memorizing it, and he eventually shifted so I was cuddled to his chest.

We laid there for several hours, neither of going to sleep, and I finally lost the fight. When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t want to open my eyes. I knew that, when I did, Simon wouldn’t be there. He’d made love to me the night before as a way of telling me goodbye.

Several tears had hit my sheet by the time I had the courage to look and, as I suspected, Simon was gone.